Own Your Awesome....Don't be Intimidated

In my most recent post, I shared my experience after leaving The Gathering (which for you new readers, was an AWESOME gathering of women...many in business, sharing their journeys & their Jesus). I was SO encouraged by these ladies & this gathering & the number of ladies that showed up to hear these testimonies.That being said, a few days after The Gathering...I wrote down some of the topics that just stuck with me after being there. I will blog about ALL of them & have prayed that I tell this story how God needs me to & write about these topics how He wants me to & in His order...not my own. On my own...I would have moved this a little further down the list, but as I sat with them & prayed for guidance...this is the one I feel compelled to share. I don't say any of what I'm getting ready to share in judgement &, quite frankly, applaud each lady that got up there & SHARED. I've been in this place that I'm fixing to talk about & still go to that place & I KNOW (in my case) the enemy is trying to steal my sunshine & I just feel led to share my experience & my reactions.

At The Gathering ....a few of the speakers would get up there & start to discredit or disqualify themselves, right off the bat. Boy was I familiar with that. It's like, in a way, we think we are being humble, but really we are letting the enemy toy with our worthiness. 

I couldn't quite put my finger on it right away, but the more people got up to speak the more I could feel a gentle brush of agitation, every time someone would say something questioning their own worthiness. I think my Spirit was getting agitated & I couldn't quite put my finger on it, in my flesh...until I prayed on it. It was like...when a razorback curr dog gets a little agitated & the hair starts standing up on it's back...right before it barks...(Yeah...I know I just country-fied this post, but that was the image that came to my head to describe it.)

It didn't take away from what they had to say (for me), but it bothered me that they felt like they should put that limit on themselves & it bothered me that I was so familiar with it. 

Here's an example of what I'm talking about: "I haven't studied this as much as so & so." OR "I've only been in business X number of years." OR "I'm sure other people might do it differently."

HERE ME: I was that person EVERY time I had to get in front of a group of people....and I get in front of groups of people A LOT, being an auctioneer. If I could paint a picture of what my head is like a couple days before a big auction...it would be a bright & dull, menagerie of all kinds of random, made-up CraZY. ALL kinds of things go through my head like: "I'm not an expert on antiques OR coins OR guns OR furniture & here I am selling this stuff to people." OR "These people know more about this stuff than I do." "Will people show up? Did I think of everything? What am I missing?" OR "I am in a room FULL of rich, intelligent, successful people. They are going to look at me...like 'Who does she think she is?'" OR "Will these rich, intelligent, successful people take me seriously? How will they respond to me? Should I be doing this? Am I out of my league?" "Will my crew act professional? Did I tell them all they need to know? Do I need more people?" "Will they know this dress is from Target? Do I know what I am doing?"

Boy, I tell you.....It was exhausting. I say "WAS" because just this past year, I walked into a situation that had me in a place where preparation was not really an option & the person that hired me knew it. I had already planned an estate auction (where we had less than 2 weeks to organize, from the contract date). I had preview day on Saturday & the auction was on Sunday. I had a friend call, that was in a jam. She's a pretty well-respected lady, that had a pretty fancy gala coming up, where the auctioneer couldn't come, last minute. She asked if I could help. I told her on the upfront, what I had going on, got the specifics on date/time/place & told her I'd call her back. 

I took this one straight to prayer. I don't do things like this, very much, anymore. I like to help from start (planning) to finish (post-auction results). If I told her yes it would be going against my plans on how I do things & jammin' up my schedule, & (if not done correctly) could take away from the upcoming auction I had. So.......in spite of what my fleshy self thought it should do...I told her I could make it...ironed out all the details & moved forward. The day came.....It had rained at our preview day & I literally had 55 minutes by the time we shut everything down to change and get from Point A to Point B & take the mic. I called a friend that lived close to Point A...changed clothes (I didn't need a shower. I got rained on.) Me & my assistant (aka World Transitioner) loaded up & caravaned to Point B. On the drive over...we talked about the auction items....our concerns...good starting bids & said...."Well, this is about as unprepared as I've ever been. I'm just gonna have to let The Holy Spirit lead me on this one." I felt this internal prompting the whole day to be slow to speak & keep my mouth shut unless I NEEDED to speak. We got there. I met with my contact. Met the emcees & ring men, looked over the list of items, walked around to see what kind of event we were at & sat patiently...with the my World Transitioner...until I needed to do my part.

Well....I was up there with a couple BIG personalities. They were very nice, worked well with each other & with me, kept the crowd entertained, said what they had to say & then turned it over to me. I would normally, in that situation, forced some words, tried to fill other spaces in some form or fashion, put some kind of limit on myself in some kind of way, BUT - In the back of my mind I just kept thinking....be slow to speak & keep your mouth shut unless you need to say something. 

I did just that & it was VERY successful. It's hard to explain...but I'll try. It was like the energy was different. Like if my role was a cup...it runneth over. I didn't TRY that hard. I just worked off what I had, where I was, with the people that were there...& had a support person there. I received GREAT referrals & feedback & more business off of it. 

Here is the lesson...that I have to remind myself of on a regular basis (still before every auction IF I keep myself aware of it). We are THE ONLY PERSON that can carry out our role. We have exactly what we need, where we are, with the right people around us. We are called to walk, one foot in front of the other, owning our AWESOME. There is NO ONE else that can do what you are doing! There is not one of those wealthy, intelligent, successful people that could have done what The Holy Spirit did through me. There is something I said before I got there that just intrigues me: "I'm just gonna have to let The Holy Spirit lead me on this one." Now I say..."Holy Spirit don't leave me & help me submit to you." It is hard. It really is a battle between our flesh (the impulses & thoughts & ideas of this world) & our spirit (that part of us that surpasses our fleshy understanding that has this divine connection to our maker). It's like a battle of CONTROL vs. SUBMISSION & we win, when we submit...which is not what the world tells us.

 At The Gathering that night...there is NO DOUBT in my mind that The Holy Spirit filled every one of those ladies up, with all the right STUFF to share their story in the name of JESUS! Every single speaker shared words that resonated with me & I'm sure those same speakers resonated with each person there, differently! That is the mysterious, AWESOME power of The Holy Spirit!

Buck Up Baby! Ride With Jesus, & OWN your awesome!! You are the ONLY person that can carry out the mission at hand. You are the only person that can share your piece of Jesus to others & help them to know Him better. DO NOT let the enemy rob you, manipulate you, trick you, or diminish you. Rebuke your menagerie of crazy & stand BOLDLY in the place where you are called. Because of our flesh, there is no doubt that we will continually wrestle with this, BUT you have been chosen. You are enough. You are needed. You are equipped. You are called. You are protected. You will prosper. You will provide. You will fulfill.You can not be compared to ANYONE. More will happen through you than anything you can even imagine. 

 

God Bless!

 

I want to share my testimony.

Just a few days ago, I attended The Gathering @ Round Top - held at The Pie Haven. I will say....without a doubt...it was JUST what I needed.

You know when you can feel a....SHIFT....coming on? Like you've been through the fire, but you didn't know you were going through it, until you're on the other side & you turn around and just know...that something has shifted.

I'm SO thankful and EXCITED for the shift. I used to try and UNDERSTAND the shift...piece together ALL the parts that led up to the shift...BE the shift. Now I smile & JUST BE who God is calling me to be. When the shifts happen they are ALWAYS way cooler & CreAtiVE than anything I could ever dream up.

I recently came to a place where I was so worn out...I was GRATEFUL to just BE STILL & pray & look & listen & discern where The Holy Spirit wanted to lead me.

I'm always AMAZED at how The Good Lord weaves things together...everything...His people...the thoughts of His people...the actions of His people...all of it. I had The Gathering on my calendar & had the awareness of how my schedule had been lately....which was....unless I was NEEDED...there was NO GUARANTEE that I'd be there....but I REALLY wanted to be, so I put it on there. My friend Tara shared the reminder on her Facebook Page & well...it was the prompting I needed to walk where The Holy Spirit was calling me.

There were approximately a dozen speakers...all businesswomen or people that are part of a business team, sharing their testimony. I have a notebook page and a half filled with topics that moved me....simply by these wonderful women GATHERING together to SHARE their testimonies. Because of this...I will be blogging on each of those points that I wrote down on that notebook paper. Why? Because no one else can share my testimony & no one else can help who God needs me help, the way I can help them.

I've been absent in the blogging world...compared to how I once was, BUT I made the decision...that if I have to FORCE the content...then I'm straying from what led me to blogs in the first place...WHICH IS the DIVINE guidance of The Holy Spirit. With that... I will SHARE my testimony...thus far.

It's hard to know where to start, because...like I stated earlier...The Good Lord has been weaving things together....MY ENTIRE LIFE...but I think the best place to start is sharing where some pretty important seeds were planted & what happened when they started sprouting ;).

I'm a small town girl from Carmine, Texas. I was by no means the most popular girl in school, but somehow managed to win Homecoming Queen my Senior Year. My parents, little sister, brother & I, lived in a double-wide, right between my Uncle & my Grandma. My Daddy has been on crutches since I was in 2nd grade & my Mom was a stay-at-home Mom when we were young. She later, started waiting tables at Klump's in Round Top & now works for Burton Sausage. My sister & I competed in cutting horse competitions when I was 11 roughly...(She was 9). My brother would just come along and play with other kiddos at the shows. When I was twelve I started working at the cattle auction in Giddings, that my uncle was the auctioneer at...where he later became one of the owners that bought it out. There was a girl named B.J. that worked there too. She ENCOURAGED me to hop back there (literally from the cat walk) & go to work. So...every Monday I could, from that summer...until I was probably 16ish...I punched cattle in the back of the sale barn. I also showed heifers & market lambs in 4H & FFA.

The day I graduated high school I started dating an under-classman. He was becoming a Jr, as I was leaving. We...by the grace of God...stayed together for 6 years & got married on our 6 yr dating anniversary. Almost...but not quite...a year later we had our first child...a little girl & 3 & 1/2 years later we had a son. Boy did a lot happen in that time....They'll be parts of this I'll touch on in future blog posts, BUT...for the time-being...I think it's important that I share the following:

• I attended Blinn College in Brenham, later transferring to Texas State University -where I commuted to and from school 3 days a week, ALWAYS having at least 2 part-time jobs. 
• Those jobs were: store clerk at 2 trendy little shops in Round Top (La Finca & Next Stop...Paris), waiting tables at Klumps & Cafe Pie In The Sky during Antique Shows, punching cattle, working in the office, or waiting tables at the sale barn, pulling weeds in someone else's garden, being a bank teller at a mobile bank, cashier at a lumber yard, & working at a daycare.
• My last semester at Texas State I had an Ad Campaigns Class. We put together 2 campaigns that semester. One was for a non-profit (Austin Cycling Association) & the other for a business (McCoy's Building Supply). My job title was Account Executive - which was ultimately managing and/or leading the other people on my team, to ensure that everything got carried out and executed that needed to. I failed the first time & knocked it out of the park the next time, with our group winning the pitch for McCoy's building supply...being the first pitch to go of the evening!
• My Dad had to have a liver transplant to stay alive in 2006. We held several fundraisers to help generate the funds. He is still alive & kickin' & his grandkids love him. The LIVE auctions...by far...is what generated the majority of the funds raised. All of the money raised and donations given were from ordinary people that loved or liked my Dad & wanted to support him & us....with a handful of complete strangers.This whole thing planted a GINORMOUS seed in me. 
• BEFORE I got my degree I started looking for a job in my degree field (Advertising). I submitted a resume to Suddenlink Media in College Station for an Account Executive position selling TV air time.
• When I applied for the job, I had ABSOLUTELY no idea what that job entailed, but was TOTALLY CONFIDENT that I was qualified. I could do it...no problem...& didn't really want to take "no" for an answer.
• I got an interview. I did not get hired for the job I applied for, but the manager told me that he may have a position for me elsewhere in the company & they may "create" one. All I can say is... if he wasn't serious...he became serious when I called him at the end of every week for 4 weeks...until he gave me another interview...after telling him...I was being interviewed again for a job with another company & if he was serious I wanted him to be aware. He later told me...it was my persistence that made the impression on him. 
• I was hired. I SUCCEEDED. I learned A LOT of VALUABLE lessons about professionalism, business, persistence, customer service, presentation, working with other departments, meeting & exceeding goals, creating marketing pieces & advertising schedules, working within client budgets. 
• I took another position with the company in Rockport, Texas. After accepting the job, found out I was pregnant with our daughter... Went through all the emotions of what management would think and be concerned with. 
• Worked from home & worked harder than I ever did in the office. 
• Within the next 6 years things started changing. Looking back...I believe God was stretching me & molding me...and I wasn't fitting the mold the position was calling for anymore.  Navigating that was a booger....because I was resisting God, but I didn't even know it. In fact...I thought for a loooooooooong time that I didn't have a thing to do with it, because I was doing what SOCIETY expected me to do & things just weren't gelin'.
• By all means...I made some GREAT friends, learned LOTS of things, worked with businesses in all industries, worked with ad agencies of all sizes, made some good money...but I was a square peg...well maybe a trapezoid or something....trying to fit into a round hole....& I was REALLY trying to jam it in there. 
• In 2011 (amongst those 6 years) after praying HARD....& into the wee hours of the morning, with tears of frustration rolling down my face...I said to God. "I know you brought me here (Rockport). I know I was supposed to be here, but I don't know if I'm still supposed to be here. All I want God is to have my work pay off for someone...for it to actually matter, & to be appreciated. I have no clue what that looks like. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. I just want a good quality of life for my family & to enjoy what I do & do what you want me to do." It was really like a light bulb went off...the THOUGHT of being an auctioneer scampered across my brain. I wrote it down in my journal....& yet...once again....I had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into, but felt TOTALLY confident that I could do whatever the next step was at least.
• I called and told my Dad my completely off-the-wall idea, that literally came to be DURING prayer. He asked me to "do a little bit" on the phone. I said: "A little of what?" He said: "Sell something." I was freakin' embarassed & we were on the phone! I didn't have a chant AT ALL, but I just sold something & he said..."Well, you don't really sound bad." I told him NOT to call my Uncle....
• My Uncle Melvin called within the hour & told me I was going to be selling at the Plum Church Feast. I was like...."No I'm not! I don't even have a chant." He asked me to sell something. He said..."you sound all right. You can meet me at the house and ride with me."
• I knew, in that moment, that I couldn't NOT go....IF I was serious....IF I believed in the power of prayer... IF I didn't want to run the risk of telling GOD "no" to something....I had to go...sink or swim...do or die...brave or embarassed...It was go time.
• So I got on You Tube & watched ALL the videos of female auctioneers I could find & paid special attention to a couple videos of John Korrey & Cookie Lockhart.
• I came up with my filler words, worked on my chant, practiced selling to my family, & counted LOTS of fenceposts as I was driving down the road. 
• Long story, short......I was ENCOURAGED at the next 4 auctions I went to with Uncle Melvin & was ENCOURAGED to go get my auction license....so I did in November 2011.
• SIDE NOTE: 2011 was also the year I finished my Bachelor of Arts Degree. 

• Well...I FINALLY quit Suddenlink. Boy that was exhausting. It was like I REALLY thought life as I knew it would end. BUT....I did NOT just dive into an auction career. Why? Because I was SCARED. My husband already thought I was crazy...along with his family...I'm sure of it. I didn't think we could "make it." I'M HERE TO TELL YOU....YOU CAN ALWAYS MAKE IT. MAYBE NOT HOW YOU ENVISION IT. STOP ENVISIONING & LET GOD PAINT THE PICTURE.
• So...for a year I was a marketing liaison for a skilled nursing facility. I am still astonished at this one. Like....REALLY astonished. I have/had some VERY DEEP rooted fears of illness & for a year...almost everyday...I walked into hospitals & nursing homes coming face to face with illness. Not just coming face to face with it....studying it, learning about medications, and diagnosis, and Medicare & Medicaid & the medical business & insurance business (YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO GET ME STARTED ON THIS UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT I THINK).
• Not only did I deal with the things listed above. I met people of all ages. I talked with families that had a loved one going in for a knee replacement & something happening in surgery causing them to have brain damage. I met with the family of a young homeless man, hit by a vehicle going 50+ mph, & watched his progress as they were trying to find placement for him. I will never EVER forget what a person looks like when a piece of their skull is removed to alleviate brain swelling. I met with a lady that had to have her stomach pumped at least 3 times a week for kidney failure & had to tell her that we could not accept her because she did not meet medical necessity based on Medicaid guidelines for a skilled nursing facility. I met with a man and his family....he was rear-ended & now is in a state where physically...he can't walk, talk, move on his own, but his memory is there....It's like he is trapped inside a body that doesn't work. I met with a mother, with a son my age that is autistic & diabetic & COMPLETELY dependent on her. I met with an elderly couple that had NO relatives left....all they have is each other...& she's fading & he's hanging on with ALL he's got. I had the opportunity to visit with a nurse, who's son is mentally  handicapped & she speaks of the coming of Jesus, with such fervent HOPE...that it shook me to my core. We sat there being thankful for God's silver lining in difficult situations like: the only words her son is able to speak is "Mommy, Mommy, I love you Mommy."
• There are some detours we take as we go along on our journey, that we never even knew existed. This is one of those & this was ALWAYS in God's plan. He planted a seed in that year - that I'm not quite sure what he's gonna do with it ....but...NO DOUBT...it is there. 
• We HAVE to care about His people. Not the money....Not the insurance companies...Not the bottom line. I had to leave because....I was once again a trapezoid peg trying to be shoved in a round hole, but this time....I wasn't going to beat it to pieces.  
• So...FINALLY.  I completely & FULLY said YES to God. I said YES to His plan. I submitted to Him. I trusted Him to care for me. I trusted Him to provide for us. I said YES to bearing the weight of people not "getting" it....not understanding it, judging us for it, condemning us for it. I said YES & did my best to prepare myself for EVERY possible hardship that I could encounter...as the result of me saying YES...(for the record...you'll still encounter things that in that moment you don't have the capacity to see yet.)
• I learned the importance of pouring grace & mercy on others & asking God to pour it on me & being thankful He does.
• I learned that worldly friendships have a season....all are important...always. Those friendships wax & wain & have to be placed in the hands of God also.
• I learned that everyone can't handle authentic...& that's okay. I couldn't either a few years ago. 
• I learned that God will bring the right people into your life. 
• I learned that there is nothing easy about saying YES to God's plan....mainly because of the struggle between our Spirit and our flesh.
• I learned that we know nothing. We control nothing. We have no say. We have no right. We are not justified in anything EXCEPT, by Christ's death on the cross, He has reconciled us to The Father & SIN HAS NO CONTROL OVER US....AS LONG AS WE CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT.
• We have NO LIMITS...except the limits we place on ourselves...or let the enemy trick us into believing. 
• So...NOW...I'm still figurin' it out :).
• I am working as an auctioneer FULL-Time, with our company  Buck Up Auctions. We specialize in fundraising & asset liquidation auctions. I am also a Realtor with Schultz Homes & Land. That was another door that was flung WIDE open & all I had to do was walk through it. 
• I never had an interest when I first got into the auction business, to mess with estates AT ALL. The whole brain-eating disease you can get from rat feces TOTALLY freaked me out & turned me off from it, BUT God had other plans. I mean...He has to chuckle to himself up there sometimes. A lot of our estate clients have come to a place where STUFF IS A BURDEN to them & they need our help to get the most money they can out of it, in the fastest way possible. There are literally times when I can see the weight being lifted off their shoulders as the items are being sold. It's a God thing...
• My PERSONAL passion...are the fundraisers & galas because....you are working with organizations that have groups of people that SUPPORT their cause & what they are raising money for....& it doesn't take millionaires to make a difference in another person's life or in the success of an organization. By all means...it can make things a little easier...but ANY group of people can come together with their love & support & make BIG things happen. This is a model of God's love & can be spread through groups of people everywhere. There's sure to be more posts on this topic.
• The real estate....I can't really explain it...but it just ties in so well with my life & I enjoy it so much, It's like all 3 of the different scenarios I find myself in, keep me excited about the others. It allows me to help SO many different types of people with multiple different needs...& ENJOY it. 

At the Friends of Winedale Gala last month.

In one of the MANY dusty old barns we've been in this past year.

Doin' work!

On some of God's wide open country...

How do I wrap up this looooooooooooooooooong story of why I KNOW sharing my testimony is IMPORTANT? God has filled me up with A LOT of stuff. Just like the gift of being an auctioneer.... How am I really helping...if I don't say YES?! If I don't do it & share it? It is part of God's mysterious and fascinating story that can ONLY be told through me!

HUGE thank you to the ladies at The Gathering @ Round Top for truly letting The Holy Spirit guide them & speaking from a true honest place. They were His vessels allowing Him to SHARE His story through their lives.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! You REALLY have to Buck Up & it really is a ride.

Heather Kaspar

Buck Up Auctions TXL 17037

Realtor with Schultz Homes & Land