Delta Dawn

Ever since I was a little girl Delta Dawn was one of my go-to songs. I used to walk around with one of these little cassette players. There was a handful of cassettes that I would cycle through it & this was on one of the greatest hits cassettes. I had a few "secret" places as a kid that I would just sit, be by myself, & listen to music. This song is one that stuck with me.

As I got older, we became more involved with horses. We started out trail-riding & then we became pretty involved with cutting horses. Almost everyday we would ride. We wouldn't necessarily work them on cattle everyday (which means penning & sorting them). Many times my sister and I rode together, but when we didn't, I would walk circles cooling my horse down & sing a cycle of songs:
"Amazing Grace"
"Have You Ever" by Brandy
"Delta Dawn"
& SOMETIMES I'd add in "All God's Creatures Got a Place in the Choir"

As I've gotten older, these are still my go-tos that I still sing when I'm by myself & I just need to.

The last couple weeks have quite possibly been our busiest ever. It's hard to say for sure, because we stay pretty busy, BUT my mind & body were done. I had been going ALL day. It was one of those days that even in the "down time" I was tying up loose ends via text or email. I had been thinking about Mother's Day & Star Tests & Kylee's birthday & 1st Communion & Heath's Pre-K Graduation & year end parties & the online auctions & onsite auctions that are lining up & real estate closings & the feasts and fundraisers I'll need to be at & the proposals I need to be working on & when Kyle was working & who'd be able to watch the baby &........

HEAR ME when I say I. AM. NOT. COMPLAINING.  I am blessed. I'm working on how to manage it all. Adjusting to life with a newborn has....honestly...seemed easier this time around in some ways, while still adding new dynamics that we all have to learn to navigate. I am giving you a glimpse into my reality. Even though the reality is a blessing, it can still be quite overwhelming at times.

On this day let's say it was 9 o'clock at night. Kyle was working nights. We had gotten back from somewhere & I thought I had everyone settled & situated. Imagine a continuous motion of DOING all. day. long.....constant & I went to sit in the bedroom. Kylee was holding the itty bitty & she said "Hunter wants his Momma." (still in constant motion...) I just took my sweet, crying, cutie with me, sat on the bed, & tried to nurse him. That wasn't his jam....just NOT what he was wanting. So I just put the crying baby on my chest & as if it flowed out of me....started singing Delta Dawn.

It seemed like before I could get "Delta Dawn" out of my mouth, the baby calmed down & then I got choked up...LOL. It was like my soul & spirit had a meeting of the minds & Jesus happened. "...A peace that surpasses all understanding..."(Philippians 4:7) came over me...actually both of us.

It made me stop & reflect on that song, the lyrics, the singer, the story, the feeling that it gives me all the times in my life I've sang it....how appreciative I was of it, in that moment, when the combination of the song & the affect it has on me calmed my crying baby. In that moment I FELT the POWER of the connection. I can't put it into words that will do it justice. I can't say that the actual lyrics directly connect to anything in my life. I can't even say that I have spent a ton of time thinking about the fact that the song has stuck with me for decades. I can tell you, that when I sing that song...I experience a different kind of peace.

Everything is bigger than what we are able to comprehend in our flesh. I don't have the answer & I don't know the answers to all the whys? & hows? I just KNOW that, that song, to me - means more than the words, more than the rhythm & I don't have to know why or how. I just sat there, rocking my baby, grateful for it.....all of it. Every. single. thing. it meant to me in my life & anything and anyone that was a vehicle in bringing it to me: Tanya Tucker, the songwriter, the muse, the radio...

It also helped me realize HOW the gifts God blesses us with, touches others. In the 40+ years, since this song was written...think of the MILLIONS that it has touched...the generations....& it's just. one. song.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Don't take those nuggets in your life for granted; even something as simple as a song. You don't have to understand it. Just be thankful for it.

A Shepherd Smells Like His Sheep

A little over two weeks ago I was sitting in the cry room at church. If you guys have never had the pleasure of sitting in a cry room filled with God's little angels....you would not know that, as a parent, you have to REALLY have your listening skills turned up to hear the message. For me sometimes...I have to just grab the key words I can catch and meditate on them.

The Priest was talking about Jesus as a leader of the people & one thing that stuck out to me....and hasn't left my mind yet is "A shepherd smells like his sheep."

Small tangent here...but I used to show lambs through 4-H & FFA. If you have never been around sheep, they have an odor about them. When my sister & I were out working with them, someone would be able to tell we had been. It's different than a goat or a cow or a horse. It's a distinct smell.

So then....I thought about that.

#1 - Jesus CHOSE us to shepherd. He made the choice to be like us, smell like us, hurt with us, rejoice with us, protect us at all costs.

#2 - He chose ALL of us & He searched far & wide, without discrimination of any kind, to find His lost sheep. HE PUT THE WORK IN. The grimy, dirty, dusty, painful, treacherous, scary, confusing WORK. He knew who He was looking for.

#3 - He walked into places that were unknown & met unwelcoming strangers. He not only walked...He BOLDLY walked.

So as I still sit here with "A shepherd smells like his sheep" burned into my mind....I ask Jesus to come into MY shoes....where I'm currently walking. I talk to him about my "sheep" that I am leading in any sense of the word...along the path of my calling & tell Him, I WANT to be like Him. I want to KNOW my sheep.

Being a business owner and an employer does not always lead you down clear cut paths. In fact, in my walk, there has been A LOT of walking by blind faith; Having faith that a decision I make now, will make sense later.

See...We aren't Jesus. Sometimes your sheep...or your tribe come to you. PRAISE JESUS when that happens....well...praise Him always, but acknowledge those godsends. We don't always see the "wolves" like Jesus could. We have to learn how to identify them, but I believe we have to learn how, so we know what to look for & we can better protect our flock/tribe. Those are not the shoes I'm asking Jesus to wear for me today.

I'm asking Him to put on the pair where I am trying to be everything to everyone. I'm running after other people's sheep AND my own & not because I need them or want them, but because I think I'm supposed to because I have the skills, knowledge, wisdom, & means to provide for their needs effectively. What I'm not thinking about is what I need. I think that is how I qualify my sheep.

 So as I stand at this intersection...where there is like a....market or a plaza along each road....and  I'm standing their holding our new baby, with my family & my crew - I need His DIVINE guidance to take me down the path that doesn't have the most people needing services that I can provide, but the one that has the RIGHT people needing services I can provide, but in the plaza that can also sustain all the needs of the flock coming with me & POSSIBLY provide opportunities for me to be a sheep and not a shepherd.

I want to walk SO boldly knowing that I not only will be walking with a well-nourished, well-fed, well-loved flock by my side, but that I'm in an environment where I will be fed, nourished, loved & have the ability to feed, nourish, & love on more of God's people.

We aren't Jesus & we aren't called to be everything to everyone. That's how I know I'm at a crossroad. I've finally looked up. I do not & never did have the ability to meet the needs of everyone. I was SO busy hearing the needs of man, that I hadn't REALLY stopped. (I stopped & asked, but not long enough to listen.) I want to be the shepherd to the people Jesus calls me to & those alone. I am your sheep. Come & get me & lead me in YOUR ways & not the ways of man.

Jesus, Help me to always remember that YOU care for ME. I have to obey YOU, so I can care for THEM. AMEN.

Yep. That's how He broke through to me. Buck Up Baby & Ride With JESUS! Look for him amongst the noise. He not only will find you...He'll teach you how to ride through all the noisy places in life.