Today is the last day of our journey through the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. It's kinda a bittersweet day for me. This book has a way of doing that to you. Both times...I'd get OVERly excited to read it, then EXHAUSTED from what I learned, then start longing to know MORE, then EVER-so grateful to have walked the journey. I'll tell you now, that I'll have MORE blog posts discussing specific discussion questions & I may go through it again at some point. I really like to document my journey. I also want to THANK everyone that has read, is reading, & has commented & sent messages of how much you APPRECIATE these blogs. The first time around, I was into maybe chapter 3 or so....& just KNEW I'd have to blog about this book. I'm glad it's touched some of you.
Let me tell you.....I went to post this yesterday & this one was my looooongest post so far.... At least it seemed like it. I had worked on it on 4 separate occasions. I didn't want to MISS anything & then......I had to re-load the page and lost A LOT of it. Coincidence? Not hardly. So.......I regrouped & stopped to REALLY meditate on the topic. What I've actually learned along my journey, regarding people-pleasing, so here goes :)
When I made the decision to quit my job & really pursue what I believe to be God's purpose for my life, I had to get myself to a point where my focus was not pleasing others. Then, once I made the decision & felt like I was in the middle of an ocean, able to go in SO many different directions...I started to lean on others thoughts, opinions, advice, etc. Then....I found myself going down a road that, I really knew all along, I didn't have much interest in going down. BUT....I respected the advice and experience of the people that I talked to & began putting lots & LOTS of energy into something where....I had a passion for a piece of it....but it wasn't really what I WANTED to do. The first consignment auction was pretty good for the first one & the second was nothin' to write home about. The circumstances and what not....aren't really what's important in this story. What is important is that I held that second auction, because I felt like I NEEDED to, to make other people happy in one form or another. I also kinda viewed it as a failure if I didn't have another & we had such a good turn out the first time around, that I thought it was what my customer-base might want. So here is my lesson behind it. WE HAVE TO WORK EVERYDAY TO SHIFT OUR FOCUS TO PLEASING GOD... not people. I started out that way & have wandered back and forth to that focus. Here's the other thing I learned. You will NEVER be happy if you don't FOCUS on what you've got in YOUR heart. What I'm talking about when I say "shift your focus to pleasing God" is not going to church everyday or praying a certain set of prayers everyday. How you develop your relationship with God is your business. I mean LISTENING to the TRUTH of YOU. God puts things on your heart for a reason. You were put here for a PURPOSE. Your purpose is different from EVERYONE else's. There are things that light you up inside & there are things that shut you down & nearly repulse you. You've got ALL the capability in the world to explore that piece of you. What I also learned from this is YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOURSELF....your thoughts....your gut.....your feelings....& that God-given spirit you have that guides you. God is just SO GOOD to us, if we allow it. Instead of wasting your time & energy on making other people happy, FOCUS on exploring & following what YOU know & TRUST. TRUST GOD to uphold you.
In the conversion of going from employee to entrepreneur...I had other challenges dealing with people-pleasing along the way. I can tell you that once you make an unconventional decision like I did, you open up a whole lot of things. It's like you break open & all kinds of rays of light start shining in different directions. Many times we ourselves don't know how to handle it, much less the people around us. The hardest place for me to be in, is KNOWING WHY I am making the decisions I'm making, but not being able to really explain it to others. Here is a lesson I learned. You CAN NOT make everyone happy. You can't make everyone understand WHY you do what you do & you can't possibly have 100% approval from everyone. You are trusting in things you don't see, so MANY of the things you do or the way you do them does not...MAKE RATIONAL SENSE to someone looking in. I mean....there are SO many times when it doesn't make rational sense to you either, but you've decided that you aren't looking for rational sense. You are following what you believe to be true & TRUSTING God for it. Unless you are dealing with a person that has made the decision to ACCEPT all people for just how they are & not pass judgement based on their experiences or worldly knowledge....you won't make them happy. You aren't thinking the same way as they are & someone will have to compromise. Will you compromise your belief to please them or will you KEEP THE FAITH?
I encourage you all to go to the Book of Judges and read the story of The Battle of Gideon, where Gideon (through God's grace) wins victory over Midian. Many of us may be familiar with the story, but today is the first time I REALLY read it. Read HERE: http://www.jesusplusnothing.com/studies/online/judges8.htm for an in-depth discussion of this battle & to see where I gathered my thoughts & comparison to my own life. The comparison I draw is the clay jars & the torches, which are 2 of the 3 tools used to defeat the Midianites. (The other was a trumpet). God had already asked Gideon to cut his troops (which were already outnumbered 4:1) down from 32,000 to 300, which made the odds 450:1. On God's command Gideon ordered his troops (who all had gathered around the Midianite camp) to follow his lead, which consisted of sounding their trumpets, smashing their clay jars that covered their torches, & shouting: "A sword for The Lord & for Gideon." Some of the Midianites fled. Many fought each other because they were SO confused by what was happening & how they were being attacked. They didn't have the peace of mind and the FAITH of God's deliverance that Gideon and his men had. So....when you break your clay jar & your light starts dispelling areas of darkness, STAND IN FAITH, clutching your torch...your light. There will be people that will be shaken by it....confused and in a frenzy. I've said many times throughout these blog posts that WE have to make a CHOICE. You can't MAKE people CHOOSE to have FAITH in something they can't see. You can't MAKE them believe what you do. They have to choose it & until they do....you won't EVER please them.
I REALLY want to talk about another people-pleaser trap, we may find ourselves in. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you do your absolute best to show a person your due RESPECT for them, but it isn't returned? They point out your flaws to others, when they have the same ones. They just might be a little better than you are with it. They put themselves above you & diminish your value in one way or another... If so, I'm sure you find yourself waging this inner battle with yourself on how you should handle it. I'm gonna break it down for you. When a relationship (of any sort) lacks MUTUAL respect, it is your duty to shine light on it. I know it's hard. I've been there. There is a tactful way to do it & it's important that you are doing it for the RIGHT reason, which is to help another brother or sister see the hypocrisy, inflated ego, & judgement in their treatment towards you. MANY times people don't even realize they do it. You shining light on it, gives them the opportunity to change their course, which will lead them closer to Jesus.
"Point to Ponder: Happiness is my choice. I don't need anyone's approval to be happy."
Daily Bible Verse: "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close." Psalm 27:10 (NLT)
Daily Question: "Whose opinion matters most to me? Whose approval am I living for?
From My Journal: God's - This book has very much helped me develop my faith and affirm some of my thoughts and concerns.
What I can tell you now....You have to CHOOSE daily...& sometimes minute by minute to work towards God's approval. LEAN on others & God's truth. God BLESS!
I am SO thankful for this journey. I ENCOURAGE you to BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS! I have learned more in these last several months than I feel like I've learned in a lifetime. YOU CAN simplify your life. God isn't trying to make things hard on you.
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