Pruning

 Life with God is SUCH an adventure. It is a roller-coaster of emotions. One of my greatest blessings are friends, that love Jesus as much as I do AND love to come together in fellowship over Him.

This week, I had several things happen where I felt: betrayed, blind-sided, and disrespected. All were swarming around the same group of influence, and well....I did not feel cared about, by those I care about. 

And it stung. 

The day before, I received a similar message, that was so much easier for me to release into the hands of Jesus. But the next one stung and I was having a much harder time letting it go. What I mean by "letting it go" is laying it at Jesus's feet and moving on with life....my to-do list.......my project at hand. It was like it kept tapping me on my forehead, and so finally.....I sent a message to two friends; both of which I count as SUCH blessings. When you find friends that you can talk Jesus with, pray for them, bless them, love them, be available to them and count your blessings. One of the coolest things that happens with friends like that, is: as you sit there working out your questions and concerns, discussing The Word and other life experiences, you recognize the movement of The Holy Spirit. Two of us were blessed to experience that together and Oh! How that changed the entire trajectory of the situation. 

I've talked and wrote before about how God blesses our obedience, but He surprises me with it EVERY time. We are just sitting there talking....and we had a lengthy discussion about the pruning process, what it looks like when you trim old growth back to create room for new growth, what God says about pruning in scripture, and so on. We near the end of the conversation, I recline back in my chair and have the SUDDEN REALIZATION that God gave me a DIRECT answer to my obedience. 

Image credit to: Wenke Greenhouses in Kalamazoo, Michigan - LINK HERE

My hang up was, that I would not have chose it for myself. However, I have been through this uncomfortable, and the most recent time, mournful experience before. I resisted and contemplated that first "pruning" hard....or at least the first one that I became aware of how God was working. I, myself didn't really want this person pruned out of my life, but every time I prayed into it I'd get a "whoa." That's what I call it. I'd get the "whoa" when I was about to send that text, or about to make that call. Now, I understand a little better. 

In my most recent situation, where I phoned a friend, I wasn't focusing on that type of pruning. I was looking at it as more of a  "type of work" pruning. It is definitely that, because that is what I layed out my own personal boundaries to, prayed to Him about, and put into motion. What He ALSO did, was bless me with the ability to see the hearts of others. See the hearts of others I have invested my time and energy into. He's teaching me how to prune also, so we can prune together...and maybe more than anything...help me to let it go sooner.

John 15:1-17

Yes, I am left in awe. It is still bittersweet, but I know it is for my good. How our God is so subtle and yet SO powerful. 

Seeing God work, yet physically seeing nothing.....that is the supernatural work of God. It truly is INCREDIBLE. Words don't even do it justice. I want to ENCOURAGE YOU to Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! He sees things we do not and HE MAKES A WAY!

Mental Health as Part of Our Every Day Dialogue

 The words "mental health" might sound like buzz words these days. It has been the topic of so many articles, discussions, & studies this past decade. I personally think it is a GREAT thing. 

People don't talk about what they don't understand. People don't address, what they don't know how to explain. People don't accept behaviors and actions that are not familiar to them. 

I am a person that, my ENTIRE life - self improvement has been my jam....sometimes in healthy ways and sometimes not. That being said, I'm aware that self improvement is not everyone's "jam :)." Thus, the blog post. 

I started this blog about a week ago...and, there was SO much information to share. I knew it was going to wind up being too much for one post. So I sat with it. I came back and read the first part and I think that first part is SO important. 

I'm going to delve in here. I do have a lot to say and a lot to share....and I'm willing to, but we can't really skate over the above, because it is skated over all the time. This has become such an important part of my life journey. It has led me to explore new things and not because of any other reason, besides the fact that I KNOW how important it is. I know we all wrestle with it somehow and I know, for some of us, paying attention to our own mental health has had a weird funky light shining on it. 

So, the first point I'd like to make and HOPE everyone holds onto it, is MENTAL HEALTH is for anyone that has a brain :). It's not JUST people that wrestle with certain things. It doesn't mean you are "unhealthy," if you talk about it. It is an essential part of our being: spiritually, physically, emotionally. 

So many of us wrestle with comparison, shame, perception of others (a blog all in itself) and then some of us, hold onto our own way of thinking so hard that we are not even willing to entertain someone else's perception because, again: "People don't talk about what they don't understand. People don't address, what they don't know how to explain. People don't accept behaviors and actions that are not familiar to them." These are mental health issues. 

Children and adults with ADHD - they go through an entirely different approach to coping, processing information, and struggles, AND they go to school with other kids that do go through the same experiences, yet have a totally different way of coping. Also, things important to some kids are not as important to kids with ADHD and vice versa. Neither can really explain WHY, and one is not better than the other, but they are different. These are mental health issues.

Overworking and belief that we have to "hustle" or "stay busy" or "be involved" in all the things is also a mental health issue. I just did a speech on the importance of making "Think Time" essential. You know, allowing your brain to REST. Listen, I was this person. I didn't listen until my body made me listen. Here are some facts for you. Since Covid, on average, people are clocking an additional 9.2 hours of UNPAID overtime (increasing by 2 hours a week from last year). If that is not enough: working more than 55 hours per week is found to increase the risk of stroke by 35% AND increase the risk of heart-related DEATHS by 17%. (You can find all the facts Here: Unpaid OT ---- Health Risks). So here.....mental health is affecting our physical health....and our mortality. (DATA SOURCES: Meg Walters - "Hustle Culture & Shame" - Made of Millions Blog, Adele Jackson-Gibson - "How to Identify Hustle Culture and What You Can Do to Break Away From It" - Good Housekeeping Health & Wellness Blog, World Health Organization "Long Working Hours Increasing Deaths from Heart Disease and Stroke: WHO, ILO")

Mental health NEEDS to become part of our dialogue. Everyone needs to lay their perceptions, shame, fear, and blind unknowingness to the side. Leaning into the discussion doesn't hurt anyone, but only helps. 

A new project is on my horizon. I'll be sure to share this with you all, as the project unfolds and my confidence builds :). It is one of the products that I deem essential, in my mental health journey. When you neglect something for so long, you really do have a lot of catching up to do. 

Guys....The most well known Biblical figures struggled with mental health issues, including Jesus. If you don't think you do, get over yourself. (I say that lovingly.) 

The enemy is real and we live in a fallen world. We are given free will, because our God does not want to force anything on us. Sins go back through the generations. Yes, this could be an entirely separate blog post, BUT we all must accept our lot and KNOW that God can use EVERYTHING for our good, if we invite Him in and let Him. The kid with ADHD will learn essential skills that bring glory to God that others will not. The person that survived an emotionally and mentally abusive situation, will have testimony that no one else has. The, now adult, that grew up and was affected by a broken marriage, will be able to help others by walking through to the other side of their experiences. We all must accept our lot AND know that we all have a lot to accept. Everyone has one, everyone's is different and we must Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! 

The Moments

I am an avid journaler. Currently, I have a daily devotional and a planner I am using created by Tim Tebow, with A.J. Gregory. 

This week, in my planner, Tim Tebow wrote this: "When you get tired or overwhelmed or uncertain, don't forget the moment God changed your life... Don't forget the moment He challenged you to join the fight."

I want to share my moments with you all. I have had several in my life. What I have learned along my life journey, is when you are obedient; He will challenge you again. I believe these moments may be different for everyone. My own moments have each been different. The way in which Tebow wrote the above quote made me think of one moment in particular, BUT to start...the very first challenge.     

The first time He challenged me was the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year of high school (14, almost 15 years old). I have always been a nerved up human, that thinks, and thinks, and over thinks so many things. The gest of this challenge came about while praying to Jesus. Jesus is the first member of The Holy Trinity that I identified with.  I was EARNESTLY praying. To date, I don't know that I can compare this prayer time with any others I have had. I had a mission and I needed Jesus's help. I prayed for HOURS. There were things that I did not understand. There were things I longed for. There were so many questions in my young adolescent head. Jesus and I sat there and we worked through EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. There was a determination in me and as I was praying (I now know), The Holy Spirit would bring biblical moments and stories to the forefront and I discussed those with Jesus to try and understand....to build up my courage....to find a clearing in the path. That summer....in my being....I went from a timid, shy, unheard, awkward, fearful person to a person that spoke my own truth....thought before I spoke or spoke intentionally KNOWING Jesus was right beside me, because I asked Him to be. I was confident, more brave, more willing to try new things....it was an ADVENTURE. It was the first moment I realized that I have to give The Holy Spirit TIME to work. I can't ask for it and not allow it to unfold in His time. 

The second time, that I recall, was when The Holy Spirit urged me to pick up the Bible a friend had gifted me, that has been sitting on the corner of my desk for 6 months. At this time in my life, I went to the Bible, but I didn't read it like I read it now. Through discussions with a friend, I had shared that I KNOW Jesus. She shared with me a little about her relationship with The Holy Trinity and how The Holy Spirit is SO important in her life. She was brought to tears. I remember us talking about how you can have a relationship with each member, but we have to ENGAGE....put the effort in (like any relationship) to build those bonds. At that time, The Holy Spirit was rad, but I did not feel ready to dive in. I did share that I wanted to know God better. God, at that time, was so BIG....so hard to try and grasp. I had been content just knowing, trusting, and believing. Yet, because I did not dig in, I had questions. This started out as such a gentle nudge, that evolved into this entire system WE had worked out. My goal was to read The Bible, cover to cover, and to get to know GOD along the way. I had a Children's Bible. What I did is I would start out reading Old Testament stories from the Children's Bible, because I found it easier to grasp. Then, I would go to The Bible from my friend, and read from The New Testament. I remember THE MOMENT I realized how directly I was communicating with God. I was reading in the New Testament: 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14. The words that I took offense to more directly..... is 1 Corinthians 14:34-35: "As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."

I will not go into deep detail, but I will say that I spoke out loud to God, asking Him to help me understand. As soon as I asked that, I laid my hands on The Bible, prayed specifically for direction to understand & God lead me to: Galatians 3:28 - "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

I have sporadic moments, where I feel that direct connection. I KNOW He sees me and uses His words to comfort me. Amazing...our God. He is all the things that are good. 

There are two other moments that come to mind. I can't tell you what I specifically said yes to, because I don't know. Interestingly enough, they both happened in very close proximity to each other in my house. Our home has a large den, then you walk through the kitchen, to get to the living room. The first of these two moments (3rd all-together), was a moment where I could feel His presence. It was right on the dividing line of our den and kitchen. I remember telling him Yes, I would follow Him. There were no specifics. His presence and His purpose of being there, the way He was there, was to get my answer. It reminds me of moments I had with previous employees, when we'd embark on a new adventure and I could not tell them what to expect, but I needed their commitment. 

The most recent time, is similar to the one above, but a little more intense. VERY close to the same location as the last, except that I felt led into the kitchen a little more. I can't recall what I was praying about. I can tell you I felt the need to kneel in that threshold between the den and the kitchen. I don't remember what I prayed, but I was praying earnestly and THIS TIME, I could feel...almost envision Jesus sitting there, wanting me to give Him an answer. Somehow, this time, I KNEW that I would still be loved the same if I said no. My awareness of my ability to say no was very apparent, this time. There was an intensity in the air....anticipation. I remember trying to grasp and understand (in my very limited knowledge, thinking about all the things going on in my world, at the time). I FELT the importance. I KNEW He needed me to choose. As I sat in thought and the anticipation and somehow KNOWING this could not be a lofty decision, yet I had all I needed in that moment to make it - I shared my decision....in the wordy, think-everything-out-loud way and when I said YES, the JOY of that moment was like nothing I had ever experienced. Even as I think about it now, I am in awe of it. The intensity of the decision, the thoroughness in being sure I understood as much as I could, the awareness of having a choice & being loved unconditionally - no matter which one I made, and still not fully understanding EXACTLY what I was saying yes to, but KNOWING WHO I was saying yes to. When I type about the joy...when I said yes, it was like I could FEEL the radiance of Jesus's joy. It felt like all of Heaven rejoiced! I experienced the joy, without knowing anything more about the YES, than what I have shared. I know that it was a BIG YES and that....I don't have to do anything special to carry it out....just do me, while loving Jesus. (He has been nurturing that into me also.)

As I am typing these, there is another I recall - and I do not remember, for certain, when it took place. I remember it, like it could have been a year ago, but it has to be closer to 10 years ago, because we haven't had the white couch in the den, in a VERY long time. It was EARLY Easter morning. For two weeks I had been frustrated because, I was wrestling with God about children suffering and childhood cancer and......tirelessly trying to wrap my head around it. The days leading up to Easter, I was just not a happy person. I felt guilt for not being as excited and grateful as I felt I should be. I remember FINALLY giving in to NOT KNOWING....me having that knowledge was NOT part of the plan God had for me and I found myself/felt like I had thrown myself on Jesus's lap and just cried. I remember.....so many things not lining up for me, BUT, the ONLY one that could take that burden from me....showed up when I was mad, sad, hurt, confused, ashamed, and COMFORTED me.....even though my actions leading up to that moment were not worthy of it. This was the moment when I learned that WE DON'T HAVE ALL THE FACTS and that I just have to TRUST and have FAITH. This may be when I found my FAITHBONE. 

Each one of those moments have been LIFE-CHANGinG & life-GIVING. In my walk I DO hold onto them. It is all the blessed moments of WISDOM God has given me on my journey. It helps me release things. It helps me stay focused. It reminds me of the rewards of perseverance and faith. It reminds me that I am capable of things, I would not and could not do on my own. It reminds me that I have a purpose, even if I haven't uncovered it. It reminds me HOW CLOSE God really is to us....how close Jesus is & what He cares about AND the AMAZING, perfect, UN-explainable POWER of The Holy Spirit. I truly LACK NOTHING and I feel that in my bones.....even when I get the wind knocked out of me. 

DON'T be afraid of the MOMENTS. Fear has stopped A LOT of great things. Don't let it stop you from having YOUR Jesus moment. The strange, the unchartered, the funny-feeling part of it all... is GOOD. Buck Up Baby! Relax into it & RIDE WITH JESUS!

Excellence - Thriving vs. Striving

 I am wrestling so much with this post, yet feel the message is SO important to share.

The kids and I visited a different church than we normally go to, but it is the one we normally go to when we don't go to our regular church. After adjusting to the volume of the worship music, Hunter, my youngest was MOVED almost immediately. Pieces of the message also stuck with him. 

I found myself convicted in my stance, on the message. I found myself being concerned for others seeking Jesus, that could be in the congregation. I believe, based on the reaction of my youngest, that the intention was to ENCOURAGE us to be better. To examine our lives and strive for excellence, because excellence was GIVEN to us. I don't just believe this. I know this. This message can and will encourage us and all that heard it. YET......I still feel the importance of what I want to share, just THROBBING to get out of me. 

When I walked into church and we began worshiping and praising, I felt so comfortable in my relationship with The Holy Trinity and I knew that I now knew myself better, than I did the last time I had attended the same church. I know that as much as I know the conviction I felt in my spirit about the message. 

I am wrestling with this share because I believe it may be unpopular. It will reveal thoughts, emotions, and visions that most people won't want to think about, won't want to envision, & don't want to feel the feels.

I don't know how to explain this any other way except the message made me feel like it was coming from a place of entitlement...or directed towards people that came from a place of entitlement. What I mean by that is....how easy is it to tell someone to examine the weak spots in their life and tell them that they should be better, because of the gift Jesus gave us. It made me feel a way.... As things were mentioned that WE ALL STRUGGLE WITH in some form or fashion, and my oldest daughter looked over at me like: "That's me." "That's us." I felt moved to  & immediately leaned over to all three and told them, that they are enough. God wants a relationship with us, but He wants us to THRIVE and not to STRIVE. 

I've been thinking about it all day. Really.... And I think that the reason Holy Spirit CONVICTED my spirit in the way I experienced it is because....God has REALLY impressed upon me the importance of knowing myself and He had to spell out to me that He was NEVER the one to tell me to STRIVE, yet that is what I have done, in some form or fashion, ALL. MY. LIFE. I can't think of a time, except for recently that I was not in a constant.....literally CONSTANT state of striving. ALL of the striving was to win the favor of man: parents, siblings, family, teachers, friends, peers, other professionals.........literally everyone. When The Holy Trinity was kind enough to BLESS ME with the WISDOM (although we are taught this from Sunday School on...) that, what The Holy Trinity has GIVEN us is a GIFT! We didn't ask for it. We didn't and still can't understand it's value. We couldn't and didn't work for it. GOD'S ONLY DESIRE IS THAT WE RECEIVE IT. I mean.....I am laying here, SO HUMBLED. So.....in awe of who our God is....so overwhelmed by His love and kindness & SO THANKFUL that I KNOW it is true. 

No matter what man tells you, REMEMBER that all that is asked of you is that YOU RECEIVE JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR LORD & SAVIOR. If you don't know what that means, God WANTS to show you, teach you, tell you, guide you to not just hearing the words, but GIFTING you the WISDOM to KNOW Him & the meaning of His words. 

I had two other spiritual moments this week that tie into this same line of thought. One was explaining the difference between Christians and Jews to my son, after he saw a commercial about stopping Jewish hate. I went to sources on the Internet, more well-versed than myself, and read it to him, paused for his response and being SO GRATEFUL for how God has conditioned his heart to understand that we view some things differently in our faith, but that the difference in thought does NOT merit hate. 

I also have a professional friend that I was messaging back and forth with on a work project. He let me know that he would be unavailable for much of the next two days celebrating Eid al-Fitr. I have an incredible amount of respect for him as a human. He is so professional, talented, and easy to work with. Because of this respect, I wanted to know more about his faith, so I researched it and was able to share how the viewpoints may differ between Muslims and Christians, with my oldest son. What was amazing is that he noticed all the SIMILARITIES of our beliefs.  

I sit and think about how much energy is wasted on hate. How many relationships NEVER have a chance because of hate. Then I also think about the message I heard today and how my youngest son received it and how I received it. God uses EVERYTHING. His love for ALL HUMANS is SO ABUNDANT. A message that convicts me, positively encourages my youngest son. We are doing life with people that share some of our beliefs and we have the opportunity to understand and RESPECT the differences. I will visit this church again because....even though I do not agree that striving for excellence is God's call, the intentions of that message was to ENCOURAGE and not discourage. He wants us to HONOR the EXCELLENCE God has given us & see it as such. I do agree with that.

It may seem like I'm wandering from the topic, but I'm not. The message in church today seemed directed to an entitled audience that has had to experience the very basic of struggles: dirty house, dirty car, excelling in their careers, focusing on their studies, etc.

What about those battling depression? They may have a messy house, but they got up, went to work, and was a light for someone & provided for their family. Their life may look like a wreck, but GOD SEES THEM SHOWING UP.

What about the boy that feels lost & unwanted, never wanted, yet decides to NOT END HIS LIFE, because he remembers hearing/reading/being told that God created him for a purpose, crying out to Him and putting the gun down. GOD SEES YOU AND THE ANGELS REJOICED IN HEAVEN WHEN YOU PUT IT DOWN. He just wants you to show up for Him. 

What about the young couple, abandoned by their families, fleeing religious persecution, CLINGING to the LOVE & HOPE that God has promised? GOD SEES YOU & WILL BLESS YOU FOR YOUR OBEDIENCE. 

What about the man that lost his ENTIRE FAMILY in a car accident and the ONLY CONVERSATION he still has with God is how mad he is at Him? GOD SEES YOU & is GRATEFUL you are still communicating with Him. 

What about the ER Nurse that witnesses things like: a pre-teen pregnant child being dumped at the ER to deliver a baby in a case of incest....alone...unaware....and broken, a non-English speaking couple accidentally overdosing their baby resulting in DEATH when they thought they were helping, a family of 4 burn victims from a house fire on Christmas Day with one lone survivor with 4th degree burns. GOD SEES YOU & He's SO THANKFUL that you are SHOWING UP for others. He doesn't care if your house is a mess, if you spoil your kids and others don't approve, or if you are less than chipper when you come into work. 

The enemy comes at us and he comes at us HARD. GOD KNOWS! He doesn't discount the struggle. I think He thought about this struggle and so did Jesus, when He decided to be obedient to God & accept the cross to SAVE US....to RELEASE US from the burden of striving. Striving is NOT our yoke. 

SHOW UP & Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! You don't have to have your make-up on. You don't have to have all A's, a full tank of gas, or a regularly detailed car. You don't even have to believe all the things others say about Him. You just have to SHOW UP & ride with Him. Give Him some time. I can testify that Jesus brought me closer to God & HELPED ME to get to know The Holy Spirit.

Angst from Jesus's Perspective - Luke 22:40-44

Easter....the Easter season has seemed so pivotal and transformational to me for the last several years. I KNOW it was, when Jesus finished the work on the cross, but EVERY Easter season for the last....10 years...approximately, I have found myself examining another layer of the importance of the work Jesus did. 

This year, I found myself pondering the angst Jesus experienced....throughout, but mainly before the crucifixion. From the book of Luke:

I don't know if any of you have felt angst. I have on a couple of occasions. Angst is irrational, but the feelings of worry, confusion, feeling lost, aware that whatever could or is getting ready to happen WILL completely change the trajectory of what you know and....the other side of it is....abrupt and swift and NOTHING in life will ever be how it is in the current state of angst. It is like a deep, dreadful......all-encompassing panicked moment of deep mourning BEFORE the change arrives. 

As I transported myself as an observer into this very situation on the Mount of Olives... I imagine Jesus encouraging the disciples to pray, but almost having that feeling of....they are on their own because I need to get myself right. I believe He still very-much cared for them in that moment, but He needed to also care for Himself in that moment.

I can't imagine, in His flesh, that He totally understood why there was not another way....why He had to endure THE WORST FORM OF HUMAN PUNISHMENT known to man, at that time. I imagine Him being so sick to His stomach & weak with worry & also being concerned about discouraging the disciples, while in His current state. 

He KNEW His flesh was going to die and that He would feel every bit of the dying process....every bit of earthly life leaving His body. He imagined what it would feel like. He imagined the pain. He imagined EVERYTHING that was coming ahead. You know....in our flesh....we imagine things much worse than they wind up happening. 

Somehow, as I pondered from this perspective, I came to realize that: Yes. Jesus was crucified on the cross because He loves us & He wanted to save us & join us to Him. But I believe, His FINAL earthly YES was because of His overwhelming LOVE FOR GOD. He was not obedient to us. He was obedient to God. I believe the angel God sent, eased Jesus's worries. I believe that God intervened when He did because of His love for Jesus and His love for us. I believe that Jesus was able to take that massive step of obedient faith because He knew God loved Him and whatever was on the other side of all. that. pain. WAS BETTER. God gave Him the mission. God gave Him the purpose. God gave Him the willingness. God gave Him the way. God gave Him the strength. AND God delivered on His promise. 

He said the most scary, FAITHFUL, obedient YES to God, in history. 

Sitting with this, really strengthens something in me. I don't know what. For sure, my relationships with The Holy Trinity, but also something else. 

If you have never said a fearful yes, to God's call; I encourage you to do it. That yes that Jesus said, is BY FAR the scariest yes I can imagine. I mean......Jesus KNEW that He would lead others like: Peter, Jude, Paul, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, James, James (son of Zebedee), Bartholomew, Andrew, and so many more, down this painful path - by saying His yes. He said yes to torture, ridicule, pain, mental and emotional strife, betrayal, and He also said YES to LIFE for us all FOREVER. They ALL did. He walked through death, so it would have no hold on us. Whatever we suffer, if we have faith in God, the other side will be better. Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! SAY that fearFUL YES!

Vision Boards - Habakkuk 2:2-3

 

The Lord has really been impressing the importance of getting to know myself....the self He created me to be. So.....for the past two years I have worked really hard to do this. It is a lot harder than one would think, but it also has shown me how little I regarded myself in the past. It has been quite an interesting observation and ADVENTURE!

I have had a lot of really hard things to go through, since starting this journey, but I have also had some real eye opening situations, holy moments, and really.....sweet assurances that He hears me. He sees me. He loves me. AND He has good things planned for me.

I have wanted to create a vision board for years & I finally did last year. I completed it about a year ago. I love analyzing data and progress, so I want to share a few interesting facts with you and encourage you to take the time to CREATE your own vision board. 

I am sharing the above verses, and as you all reflect on them, Habakkuk was a prophet. The Book of Habakkuk has 3 chapters. You could listen to it on audio in about 15 minutes. Habakkuk was having, what I call, a mental wrestling match with God. He could not understand why some people were being treated how they were - when they were dishonoring God. God ultimately tells him, to record his vision, so people from all over can know it and share it, be patient, and wait for it to happen. He also let's Habakkuk know that He sees everything. Why people do the things they do and what is on their hearts. You can listen on audio here: Book of Habakkuk

I am amazed at the results of recording my vision for the year. I truly am. Here is the reality of what God & I accomplished through the recording of my vision. 

I COMPLETED 73% of what I put on my vision board! I did NOT complete 27%, BUT of what I did not complete - 83% are in the works. 

Here are the fruits from our journey:

• Created comfortable spaces at home.
• Made a long-term building decision.
• Now have a porch for fellowship.
• Completed a wave of decluttering.
• The kids regularly assist with chores around the house. 
• Have found new ways to be calmer and reduce stress and anxiety.
• I love being at home. 
• We have CREateD LOTS of things. 
• I have full memories of visiting Waco with my son, mother-in-law & nephew.
• I have full memories of visiting Galveston with all 3 kids & my mom.
• I have super awesome memories with Kyle staying in a tree house in the hill country.
• I practiced and benefited from meditation & shared it with others. 
• I traveled more.
• We organized the outside of our home more.
• We updated some of the rooms inside. 
• I've gotten to know our neighbors better. 

The fruits that are still growing, but not ripe yet are:

• Going on a cruise - but I did book one for the future.
• Attending a concert - Plan to on Kylee's Back to School Shopping Trip in Gruene. 
• Remodel Plan for Bathroom.
• Remodel Plan for Kitchen.
• Mastering our food - have something for us to try. 

Visiting Rockport was the only thing we did not do and I believe it would have happened, if God needed it to. Everything really does happen in His perfect timing. We just have to plant the seeds and allow God to care for them. 

I believe that this success should be attributed to a number of different factors: 

• It was positioned LITERALLY right beside my bed. It is one of the first things I see when I wake up and one of the last things I see before I go to bed. When I come to relax in the bedroom.....it is plainly visible for me to ponder. 
• I created the vision board prayerfully. I put A LOT of thought into it and also allowed creativity to flow with materials that I had available. 
• I LOVED what I saw. I enjoyed looking at it and imagining and planning. 

The intention you have for your life matters. God wants to know them. He wants to help you achieve them. We literally took these thoughts and ideas and grew them together, with me. It really is one of the coolest things to reflect on that I have ever reflected on. It is also one of the most exciting things, to create one for this year, knowing the results of the last. Although I was intentional last year, my intensity has grown for this year, because I was able to witness the power of collaborating with The Holy Trinity. 

I also feel responsible to tell you that your vision is NOT for everyone to know. I feel comfortable sharing this because of the results and the testimony that I can share with others. Guard your visions. The enemy is ALWAYS at work and NOTHING is off limits for him. The enemy works through others, through situations, through every fleshy weakness that he can. DO NOT give him any ammunition.

Yes, God encouraged Habakkuk to record it so people could spread the word and share it. Let them share the fruit. Let them share the accomplishments. Let them share the story....the actual story of what God did in your live with your visions....not before. 

Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! CReAtE that vision board.....that road map for the journey you are about to go on!

Training Ground

 This blog will be about getting where I'm going. The lessons have to take place somewhere and people must witness our imperfections. Lately, I've been reflecting on what has gotten me here. 

I think about one of my other titles....Mom.  Kyle and I just had a conversation with our 3 kids. They like to ask questions about each other like...."What was Kylee like as a baby?" "Was Hunter as chunky as Heath was?" Somehow we got on the subject of Kylee being the oldest and she asked why we did something and Kyle said...LOL "You were the first one. We didn't know what we were doing." 

As we enter different stages of our lives we NEED a training ground. As I make an attempt at relating the two and try to truly capture how GRATEFUL I am for my training grounds, hang with me. I hope this allows you all to have some nostalgic moments FULL of gratefulness for YOUR journey. 

I remember when I was teetering on the idea of building my own business, having the flexibility to buILD the life I envisioned for myself and my family, knocking some barriers down - that were in my way and weighing every. single. thing. I mean....EVERYTHING. 

One of the things that hung me up for awhile was that, up until that point, I had prided myself on my quality of work and I KNEW I would not have the background support....you know, like an accounting department, production department, HR department, like I was used to. I also had never done, what I was getting ready to do so.....I was going in with as much education as I could gather, before beginning the journey blind...and taking others with me. What I mean by that is minimal experience. I had my life experiences on the periphreal of the actual nuts and bolts of the business, but no REAL boots on the ground experience. I had experience within departments of PART of the business. Because I am a person that puts the work in, I had to make damn sure - this JOURNEY I was getting ready to take everyone on was a long-term plan and that I was up for a long adventure. I feel like that again, but that's all that seems familiar. I feel like the next leg of the journey could go several different ways. I also know that it could go different directions than what I'm even aware of, because well....our God is BIG. 

All the feels of this space are so familiar. Imagine.....uncertainty...excitement....motivation...fear of acting....holding onto what I know - instead of just acting.... I know God is always right on time and I can't mess it up, but I always find myself thinking I am missing some sort of CLEAR message and I am getting in my own way. 

I digress....

As parents, we are to "raise our children in the way they should go, so they do not stray from it." Each one of our children have very unique traits and characteristics and God took into account Kyle and I being first time parents, when he blessed us with Kylee. He knew we had what it took to have a second child, change careers, and move home & form an LLC....all at the same time. He also knew that another human needed all of what all four of us could give him. As I reflect on the environments we were in with each three....I'm in awe of Him. 

God KNOWS how I think....and think....and overthink. He provided an opportunity for me to EXPLORE. When I talked to Kyle about it, he was open to it.......and ALL the things had to happen in our lives for him to be open to it. What a wonderful training ground He took us to in Rockport. Three and a half hours from home. He removed distractions and allowed us to focus on us and become who He was calling us to. 

As I sit here typing, and being more aware of the things The Good Lord is calling me to do. I see the last 12 or so years of my life as yet, another training ground. One where people had to witness my growth, the growth of my family, the growth of my faith, the successes, the perceived failures, the way in which I move in between them. Just like I was thankful for my Rockport training ground. I am thankful for this one. This one had a few more dips and curves and peaks and valleys. Now, He is calling US to more. We don't know PRECISELY what it is, but He is and we will find out along the way. 

We all have our training ground, and I have come to believe that God may have multiple purposes for us. OBEDIENCE....EXPLORATION....TRUST....FAITH....COURAGE....PERSEVERANCE... When you BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS it takes all of those things. You best, put them in your saddle bags. 

One of the missions God has for me is simply, sharing my story and sharing my faith, with the hope and intention that it will ENCOURAGE someone else to get to know Jesus. This blog itself, is yet another training ground, where I get to use all the tools in bold above. When you make the choice and saddle up...you will experience it ALL. Your life will be FULL....abundant even. There will be cold, exhausting nights, where you are too broke (in a variety of ways) to do anything but rest....in the cold. Then....He will pick you up out of it and you will be stronger and smarter and better prepared for the next part of the journey.....and it will be an ADVENTURE you would never, ever trade. 

Yes....people will come and go, in and out of your life....and it will HURT. It will bring you grief and sadness and turmoil, but only for a short while. You see, God loves them too. He is teaching them something, just as He's teaching you something. He WILL reward your obedience....small acts, large acts, and continual acts. 

I encourage anyone reading to just sit with Him, even for a few brief moments. Let HIM speak to you, however He chooses and be receptive to hearing Him. Then....in His perfect timing, buck up baby & ride with Jesus!