I've talked about LOTS of things over the last 40 days....perception, pride, ego, etc. Today we talk about envy. From the book: "Envy is one of the so-called 'Seven Deadly Sins.' These are root sins that many other sins grow out of." The BULK of what I got out of this chapter is how IMPORTANT it is for us UNDERSTAND that we are UniQUe, and that this FACT makes us incomparable.
We ALL know what ENVY is.... It's the whole... "Why is she prettier, richer, more popular? & Why is he stronger, richer, more popular, etc.?" From the book: "Comparing is the root of all envy. Unfortunately, from about the time we each began to walk, we also began to compare." Guys we live in a world of comparisons. I can tell you when you learn, understand, and see how the lessons of envy are outlined throughout the Bible, you can become EASILY frustrated with yourself, & other people. For me personally....I get frustrated at myself when I catch myself in the act of ENVY because I know better, but sometimes it is an automatic reaction. Other times I get frustrated & ESPECIALLY since I learned this lesson, because it really is silly to insult, downplay, compare, build oneself up to knock another down, pass judgement, reject qualities of yourself for what others have made you feel like you lack.... BUT then I think about how I did the same things. Not because I was an ugly person, but because I had been conditioned (by the world) ALL MY LIFE to compare. I was compared to others. Others compared themselves to me. We compared teachers & preachers & singers & athletes & everything & everyone under the sun. I still do it, but now I know I shouldn't & I know how to CATCH myself...divert my attention...build someone up, instead of knock them down.
It's GREAT that one person likes buttoned-down organization, but theirs no need to go around tootin' your horn about it.
It's okay that one person's greatest skill IS NOT keeping their house tidy & spotless. That doesn't devalue them OR anything they've done.
It's okay that you reach God through the Protestant teachings, while another is Catholic or Baptist or Muslim or Buddhist or any other religion or belief. We get SO wound up in the particulars of things. We forget about that part of us that we can't explain....our gut feeling, that place that longs for more. If we'd spend more time working on CONNECTING to The Holy Trinity & other people, we'd accomplish so much more of what REALLY matters.
Another thing that this chapter made a little clearer for me was WHY many times....the people that are closest to you typically ENVY us OR we ENVY them. I've experienced it & when another person is envying me & are being ugly....I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I just could not understand WHY they wouldn't WANT to be a part of our lives or why someone SO close would say extremely hurtful things to multiple people & never say anything directly to us. You've gotta be careful with ENVY & SPEAKING IT OUT. Once you speak it out....it takes it to a whole 'nother level....and not a good one.
I've noticed ENVY among many of my friendships throughout the years. I also believe that I'm not sure how to handle it when someone envies me. If I look back, I can tell you...it is an area where I know I've been envied, but I don't know why. I don't know how to talk about it, and I don't know that talking about it will do any good. But you know...it's not even that I wouldn't talk about it. I just wouldn't know where to start or how to start. I mean a lot of the time you KNOW someone envies something about you, but you have no idea what. I have had a conversation where I did determine "WHAT" they envied, but I didn't even know how to respond, because I had the opposite feeling towards it....like it was NOTHING to be jealous or envious of. Maybe there's a lesson in that. It is simply nothing but WASTED energy. We just shouldn't envy...just be happy with what you've got, because it does NO good. What I also learned in that convo was that once source of envy leads to more sources of envy....and then you realize the other person is in a tangled up mess of it. You have a choice then...to remove yourself from it (for both peoples' sake) or stay around and waddle in it.
I remember being friends with someone & another friend TOTALLY latching on to them & it affecting me SO much. I started wondering what the heck was wrong with me. What was my flaw? What was wrong with me? Now I know that whatever that connection was...was a blessing to that person....exactly what & WHO they needed in that moment in time. Sometimes I was the person that linked that connection. Sometimes I was a bystander that witnessed it. Nonetheless, it had absolutely NOTHING to do with who I was...It was about the needs of the other, but we are all conditioned from birth to be all about ME.
In some of my past positions, I can look back & see that a lot of my CHAOS was fueled by my envy for another. It wasn't that I disliked the person I envied. In fact, I HIGHLY regarded them & pray for them regularly. I disliked the fact that their journey went so much differently than most anyone else in the company. What is interesting about it is that I NEVER felt any source of anger, negativity, or that this person didn't DESERVE where they were. In fact....they were one of the first people I called & one of the main people that agreed that things were not happening fairly to me. I mean....I didn't even think I should have what they had. I just (looking back) envied the ease of their journey versus the difficulty of MINE. I kinda feel like that person may have too. Regardless, I know now that it was time to move on anyway & it was a stepping stone/transition period that deepened my TRUST in God. AMAZING how God can turn ugly into BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna list out the 4 KEY steps to ridding envy in your life. READ the book for more in-depth details.
1-"Stop comparing yourself to others!"
2-"Celebrate God's goodness to others." You know the co-worker that got the position you wanted, brother that scored the winning shot, etc.
3-"Be grateful for who you are and whatever you have." EVERYTHING we currently have is a gift from God.
4-"Trust God when life seems unfair." There is a purpose for everything....as hard as that is to wrap our head around sometimes...it is.
Here's the daily stuff:
"Point to Ponder: I cannot fulfill God's purpose for me if I am envying others."
Daily Bible Verse: "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30 (NIV)
Daily Question: "In what areas of my life do I often compare myself with and envy others?"
From My Journal: My success in business with other auctioneers: If I'm "better," raise more money, if they operate better than me, if they are more well known, if my pricing is fair, popularity & who provides & does more.
I can tell you...I've cut A LOT of that crap out. Still something I'll work on daily. We all will.
Here's a few more things from the book that resonated with me:
"If you don't know how to be happy with what you have, you will never be happy with more."
"Having ambitious dreams, a desire to be better, and faith goals are all good things, if they come from God, benefit others. and are pursued in faith for his glory."
"If you would like to increase the amount of happiness you experience in life, here is one of the secrets: learn to enjoy the successes and joys of others."
"Anytime a relationship seems 'out of order,' you should check for either envy or selfish ambition as a possible cause."
"The Bible clearly states that the religious leaders had Jesus put to death because they deeply envied him."
"The Bible says, 'When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves to themselves, they show how foolish they are.'" 2 Corinthians 10:12 (GWT)
"Envy is actually a form of spiritual rebellion based on ignorance and arrogance. It assumes that I have a better plan for my life than my Creator does!"
Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Don't COMPARE anything....just trot along on your journey with Him. You HAVE all you need RIGHT NOW & you are ENOUGH for whatever & wherever you're headed. God Bless!
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