Day 42: "The People-Pleaser Trap"

Today is the last day of our journey through the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. It's kinda a bittersweet day for me. This book has a way of doing that to you. Both times...I'd get OVERly excited to read it, then EXHAUSTED from what I learned, then start longing to know MORE, then EVER-so grateful to have walked the journey. I'll tell you now, that I'll have MORE blog posts discussing specific discussion questions & I may go through it again at some point. I really like to document my journey. I also want to THANK everyone that has read, is reading, & has commented & sent messages of how much you APPRECIATE these blogs. The first time around, I was into maybe chapter 3 or so....& just KNEW I'd have to blog about this book. I'm glad it's touched some of you.

Let me tell you.....I went to post this yesterday & this one was my looooongest post so far.... At least it seemed like it. I had worked on it on 4 separate occasions. I didn't want to MISS anything & then......I had to re-load the page and lost A LOT of it. Coincidence? Not hardly. So.......I regrouped & stopped to REALLY meditate on the topic. What I've actually learned along my journey, regarding people-pleasing, so here goes :)

When I made the decision to quit my job & really pursue what I believe to be God's purpose for my life, I had to get myself to a point where my focus was not pleasing others. Then, once I made the decision & felt like I was in the middle of an ocean, able to go in SO many different directions...I started to lean on others thoughts, opinions, advice, etc. Then....I found myself going down a road that, I really knew all along, I didn't have much interest in going down. BUT....I respected the advice and experience of the people that I talked to & began putting lots & LOTS of energy into something where....I had a passion for a piece of it....but it wasn't really what I WANTED to do. The first consignment auction was pretty good for the first one & the second was nothin' to write home about. The circumstances and what not....aren't really what's important in this story. What is important is that I held that second auction, because I felt like I NEEDED to, to make other people happy in one form or another. I also kinda viewed it as a failure if I didn't have another & we had such a good turn out the first time around, that I thought it was what my customer-base might want. So here is my lesson behind it. WE HAVE TO WORK EVERYDAY TO SHIFT OUR FOCUS TO PLEASING GOD... not people. I started out that way & have wandered back and forth to that focus. Here's the other thing I learned. You will NEVER be happy if you don't FOCUS on what you've got in YOUR heart. What I'm talking about when I say "shift your focus to pleasing God" is not going to church everyday or praying a certain set of prayers everyday. How you develop your relationship with God is your business. I mean LISTENING to the TRUTH of YOU. God puts things on your heart for a reason. You were put here for a PURPOSE. Your purpose is different from EVERYONE else's. There are things that light you up inside & there are things that shut you down & nearly repulse you. You've got ALL the capability in the world to explore that piece of you. What I also learned from this is YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOURSELF....your thoughts....your gut.....your feelings....& that God-given spirit you have that guides you. God is just SO GOOD to us, if we allow it. Instead of wasting your time & energy on making other people happy, FOCUS on exploring & following what YOU know & TRUST. TRUST GOD to uphold you.

In the conversion of going from employee to entrepreneur...I had other challenges dealing with people-pleasing along the way. I can tell you that once you make an unconventional decision like I did, you open up a whole lot of things. It's like you break open & all kinds of rays of light start shining in different directions. Many times we ourselves don't know how to handle it, much less the people around us. The hardest place for me to be in, is KNOWING WHY I am making the decisions I'm making, but not being able to really explain it to others. Here is a lesson I learned. You CAN NOT make everyone happy. You can't make everyone understand WHY you do what you do & you can't possibly have 100% approval from everyone. You are trusting in things you don't see, so MANY of the things you do or the way you do them does not...MAKE RATIONAL SENSE to someone looking in. I mean....there are SO many times when it doesn't make rational sense to you either, but you've decided that you aren't looking for rational sense. You are following what you believe to be true & TRUSTING God for it. Unless you are dealing with a person that has made the decision to ACCEPT all people for just how they are & not pass judgement based on their experiences or worldly knowledge....you won't make them happy. You aren't thinking the same way as they are & someone will have to compromise. Will you compromise your belief to please them or will you KEEP THE FAITH?

I encourage you all to go to the Book of Judges and read the story of The Battle of Gideon, where Gideon (through God's grace) wins victory over Midian. Many of us may be familiar with the story, but today is the first time I REALLY read it. Read HERE: http://www.jesusplusnothing.com/studies/online/judges8.htm for an in-depth discussion of this battle & to see where I gathered my thoughts & comparison to my own life. The comparison I draw is the clay jars & the torches, which are 2 of the 3 tools used to defeat the Midianites. (The other was a trumpet). God had already asked Gideon to cut his troops (which were already outnumbered 4:1) down from 32,000 to 300, which made the odds 450:1. On God's command Gideon ordered his troops (who all had gathered around the Midianite camp) to follow his lead, which consisted of sounding their trumpets, smashing their clay jars that covered their torches, & shouting: "A sword for The Lord & for Gideon." Some of the Midianites fled. Many fought each other because they were SO confused by what was happening & how they were being attacked. They didn't have the peace of mind and the FAITH of God's deliverance that Gideon and his men had. So....when you break your clay jar & your light starts dispelling areas of darkness, STAND IN FAITH, clutching your torch...your light. There will be people that will be shaken by it....confused and in a frenzy. I've said many times throughout these blog posts that WE have to make a CHOICE. You can't MAKE people CHOOSE to have FAITH in something they can't see. You can't MAKE them believe what you do. They have to choose it & until they do....you won't EVER please them.

I REALLY want to talk about another people-pleaser trap, we may find ourselves in. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you do your absolute best to show a person your due RESPECT for them, but it isn't returned? They point out your flaws to others, when they have the same ones. They just might be a little better than you are with it. They put themselves above you & diminish your value in one way or another... If so, I'm sure you find yourself waging this inner battle with yourself on how you should handle it. I'm gonna break it down for you. When a relationship (of any sort) lacks MUTUAL respect, it is your duty to shine light on it. I know it's hard. I've been there. There is a tactful way to do it & it's important that you are doing it for the RIGHT reason, which is to help another brother or sister see the hypocrisy, inflated ego, & judgement in their treatment towards you. MANY times people don't even realize they do it. You shining light on it, gives them the opportunity to change their course, which will lead them closer to Jesus.

"Point to Ponder: Happiness is my choice. I don't need anyone's approval to be happy."

Daily Bible Verse: "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close." Psalm 27:10 (NLT)

Daily Question: "Whose opinion matters most to me? Whose approval am I living for?

From My Journal: God's - This book has very much helped me develop my faith and affirm some of my thoughts and concerns.

What I can tell you now....You have to CHOOSE daily...& sometimes minute by minute to work towards God's approval. LEAN on others & God's truth. God BLESS!  

I am SO thankful for this journey. I ENCOURAGE you to BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS! I have learned more in these last several months than I feel like I've learned in a lifetime. YOU CAN simplify your life. God isn't trying to make things hard on you.

Day 41: "The Envy Trap"

Today is Day 41 of our journey through the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. This chapter has been a HUGE help to me. It helped to make A LOT of things clear to me, point out some of my sources of anxiety & made me VERY mindful of the importance of NOT comparing.

I've talked about LOTS of things over the last 40 days....perception, pride, ego, etc. Today we talk about envy. From the book: "Envy is one of the so-called 'Seven Deadly Sins.' These are root sins that many other sins grow out of." The BULK of what I got out of this chapter is how IMPORTANT it is for us UNDERSTAND that we are UniQUe, and that this FACT makes us incomparable.

We ALL know what ENVY is.... It's the whole... "Why is she prettier, richer, more popular? & Why is he stronger, richer, more popular, etc.?" From the book: "Comparing is the root of all envy. Unfortunately, from about the time we each began to walk, we also began to compare." Guys we live in a world of comparisons. I can tell you when you learn, understand, and see how the lessons of envy are outlined throughout the Bible, you can become EASILY frustrated with yourself, & other people. For me personally....I get frustrated at myself when I catch myself in the act of ENVY because I know better, but sometimes it is an automatic reaction. Other times I get frustrated & ESPECIALLY since I learned this lesson, because it really is silly to insult, downplay, compare, build oneself up to knock another down, pass judgement, reject qualities of yourself for what others have made you feel like you lack.... BUT then I think about how I did the same things. Not because I was an ugly person, but because I had been conditioned (by the world) ALL MY LIFE to compare. I was compared to others. Others compared themselves to me. We compared teachers & preachers & singers & athletes & everything & everyone under the sun. I still do it, but now I know I shouldn't & I know how to CATCH myself...divert my attention...build someone up, instead of knock them down.

It's GREAT that one person likes buttoned-down organization, but theirs no need to go around tootin' your horn about it.

It's okay that one person's greatest skill IS NOT keeping their house tidy & spotless. That doesn't devalue them OR anything they've done.

It's okay that you reach God through the Protestant teachings, while another is Catholic or Baptist or Muslim or Buddhist or any other religion or belief. We get SO wound up in the particulars of things. We forget about that part of us that we can't explain....our gut feeling, that place that longs for more. If we'd spend more time working on CONNECTING to The Holy Trinity & other people, we'd accomplish so much more of what REALLY matters.

Another thing that this chapter made a little clearer for me was WHY many times....the people that are closest to you typically ENVY us OR we ENVY them. I've experienced it & when another person is envying me & are being ugly....I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I just could not understand WHY they wouldn't WANT to be a part of our lives or why someone SO close would say extremely hurtful things to multiple people & never say anything directly to us. You've gotta be careful with ENVY & SPEAKING IT OUT. Once you speak it out....it takes it to a whole 'nother level....and not a good one.

I've noticed ENVY among many of my friendships throughout the years. I also believe that I'm not sure how to handle it when someone envies me. If I look back, I can tell you...it is an area where I know I've been envied, but I don't know why. I don't know how to talk about it, and I don't know that talking about it will do any good. But you know...it's not even that I wouldn't talk about it. I just wouldn't know where to start or how to start. I mean a lot of the time you KNOW someone envies something about you, but you have no idea what. I have had a conversation where I did determine "WHAT" they envied, but I didn't even know how to respond, because I had the opposite feeling towards it....like it was NOTHING to be jealous or envious of. Maybe there's a lesson in that. It is simply nothing but WASTED energy. We just shouldn't envy...just be happy with what you've got, because it does NO good. What I also learned in that convo was that once source of envy leads to more sources of envy....and then you realize the other person is in a tangled up mess of it. You have a choice then...to remove yourself from it (for both peoples' sake) or stay around and waddle in it.

I remember being friends with someone & another friend TOTALLY latching on to them  & it affecting me SO much. I started wondering what the heck was wrong with me. What was my flaw? What was wrong with me? Now I know that whatever that connection was...was a blessing to that person....exactly what & WHO they needed in that moment in time. Sometimes I was the person that linked that connection. Sometimes I was a bystander that witnessed it. Nonetheless, it had absolutely NOTHING to do with who I was...It was about the needs of the other, but we are all conditioned from birth to be all about ME.

In some of my past positions, I can look back & see that a lot of my CHAOS was fueled by my envy for another. It wasn't that I disliked the person I envied. In fact, I HIGHLY regarded them & pray for them regularly. I disliked the fact that their journey went so much differently than most anyone else in the company. What is interesting about it is that I NEVER felt any source of anger, negativity, or that this person didn't DESERVE where they were. In fact....they were one of the first people I called & one of the main people that agreed that things were not happening fairly to me. I mean....I didn't even think I should have what they had. I just (looking back) envied the ease of their journey versus the difficulty of MINE. I kinda feel like that person may have too. Regardless, I know now that it was time to move on anyway & it was a stepping stone/transition period that deepened my TRUST in God. AMAZING how God can turn ugly into BEAUTIFUL.

I'm gonna list out the 4 KEY steps to ridding envy in your life. READ the book for more in-depth details.
1-"Stop comparing yourself to others!"
2-"Celebrate God's goodness to others." You know the co-worker that got the position you wanted, brother that scored the winning shot, etc.
3-"Be grateful for who you are and whatever you have." EVERYTHING we currently have is a gift from God.
4-"Trust God when life seems unfair." There is a purpose for everything....as hard as that is to wrap our head around sometimes...it is.

Here's the daily stuff:

"Point to Ponder: I cannot fulfill God's purpose for me if I am envying others."

Daily Bible Verse: "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30 (NIV)

Daily Question: "In what areas of my life do I often compare myself with and envy others?"

From My Journal: My success in business with other auctioneers: If I'm "better," raise more money, if they operate better than me, if they are more well known, if my pricing is fair, popularity & who provides & does more.

I can tell you...I've cut A LOT of that crap out. Still something I'll work on daily. We all will.

Here's a few more things from the book that resonated with me:

"If you don't know how to be happy with what you have, you will never be happy with more."

"Having ambitious dreams, a desire to be better, and faith goals are all good things, if they come from God, benefit others. and are pursued in faith for his glory."

"If you would like to increase the amount of happiness you experience in life, here is one of the secrets: learn to enjoy the successes and joys of others."

"Anytime a relationship seems 'out of order,' you should check for either envy or selfish ambition as a possible cause."

"The Bible clearly states that the religious leaders had Jesus put to death because they deeply envied him."

"The Bible says, 'When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves to themselves, they show how foolish they are.'" 2 Corinthians 10:12 (GWT)

"Envy is actually a form of spiritual rebellion based on ignorance and arrogance. It assumes that I have a better plan for my life than my Creator does!"

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Don't COMPARE anything....just trot along on your journey with Him. You HAVE all you need RIGHT NOW & you are ENOUGH for whatever & wherever you're headed. God Bless!

Day 40: "Living With Purpose"

We are REALLY nearing the end. In the older version of The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Warren...the book ends here. The new version has TWO AWESOME additional chapters...that we'll cover over the next couple of days.

So today's a BIG deal that kind of ties this whole book together. If you LET it...this book can help YOU transform your life & buILD a relationship with our ALMIGHTY Father. It has been LIFE-CHANGING for me.....BOTH times.

ULTIMATELY....this chapter helps us to BEGIN to develop our "LIFE PURPOSE STATEMENT." I will share mine with you. I KNOW it will chAnGE, but here is where it is now.

4/14/14 Draft ONE of My Life Purpose Statement:

The Holy Trinity is the center of my life. When anxiety, trouble, stress, worry, or anything else that is the devil's work creeps up, I will call to Him & He will save me. I relinquish myself to Him to use me for His purpose and to bring glory to Him - therefore blessing others and helping others bless others. I will use all of my talents (known & yet to be discovered) for my life purpose: to be more like Jesus, to share my talents and experiences with my church family, believers, and non-believers, to spread his love to all that will listen and do my best to be heard. I will teach my family and friends to love and grow like God wants, so more and more people can bring glory to God. I will help fellow Catholics and Christians learn from each other and learn how to accept and grow from each others differences. I will share The Good News and the way my church has fanned the flame of my spirit and soul. I will share The Good News through whatever method I am gifted in, that will reach someone. I will serve God by using my knowledge and skills to help others collectively raise needed funds through love and support. I will work to strengthen and grow me and my family's depth of servitude by researching missions. I will bring others in. I will work on being happier and more open to accepting God's blessings and trusting that he has me, holds me, and protects me. God is my refuge, my strength, my grace, and my glory. I am His to be used for His good works. God is my center. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Mark 12:30 Amen.

PLEASE refer to the chapter for the BEST ways of developing YOUR statement. There are a couple of other things from this chapter that I'd like to write about.

"Once you know what God wants you to do, the blessing comes in actually doing it." THIS. IS. HARD. Just when you think you're getting the hang of it.....something makes "doing it" really hard. It can be PEOPLE, FINANCIAL SITUATIONS, FEAR, OTHER PEOPLE'S FEAR, CIRCUMSTANCES, YOUR OWN CRAZY...this list could go on. Just don't beat yourself up about it. I did because I want to do things "right." I put WAY too much pressure on myself.

Also from this chapter: "Don't get discouraged when you stumble. It takes a lifetime to build Christlike character." BELIEVE me when I tell you there are things about yourself that you've forgotten or that you've hidden, or that you THINK you've dealt with....so YOU WILL STUMBLE. You've got this.

Couple quotes to help us work on DIRECTION:

"The Bible says, 'Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground.'" & "Proverbs says, 'An intelligent person aims at wise action, but a fool starts off in many directions."'  Well...I've been a "fool" for a LOOooong time, but I'm workin' on it....& I am making progress.

As a PARENT you can bet that PART of your mission will be to raise your babies to KNOW & LOVE Jesus....& I think to give them the ability/knowledge/etc. to SHARE The Good News. It's not double-duty...It's already PART of your mission......PART.......

"...even Jesus didn't meet the needs of everyone while on earth. You have to choose whom you can best help, based on your shape." I'm sitting here smiling because we ALL want to help EVERYONE & we want EVERYONE to "get us" & we want EVERYONE to like us. Go on & get over it. It ain't gonna happen. You won't even be able to help ALL of the people you run into that you CAN help. They have to be open to it & sometimes you are HELPing by planting a seed that someone else will water. HOWEVER, there is a targeted group of people that you are MADE to HELP. I THINK I'm figurin' mine out, but I'm open for it to be another group of people I'm not thinkin' of. Just don't FORCE it. Really... Step through the door when the OPPORTUNITY flings it open.

Listen here... There really are NO EXCUSES. "What matters most is that you fulfill God's eternal purposes regardless of where you live or work or whom you marry. Those decisions should support your purposes. The Bible says, 'Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.'" Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

The Daily Stuff:

"Point to Ponder: Living with purpose is the only way to really live."

Daily Bible Verse: "For David...served the purpose of God in his own generation." Acts 13:36 (NASB)

Daily Question: "When will I take the time to write down my answers to life's five great questions? When will I put my purpose on paper."

From My Journal: I will start in my journal today. I am thinking about it NOW. Praise God. Praise Jesus. Praise The Holy Spirit.

If you struggle with the chaos of what to do next I would recommend The One Thing by Gary Keller. I'm in chapter three & I'm already ready to find that first domino. ;). Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! He is good, Good, GOOD to us! God Bless!

Day 39: "Balancing Your Life"

Today we move on to day 39 in the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. Today we discuss ways to KEEP balance in our lives.

If you have been reading the chapters you'll have a VERY clear picture that we have a pretty clear cut mission. How we get there & how we do it will vary GREATLY for each person, because we are SO unIQue, but our ultimate goals/purpose/mission are the same: "God wants us to introduce people to Christ, bring them into his fellowship, help them grow to maturity and discover their place of service, and then send them out to reach others, too." As you've probably learned by reading the last 39 chapters....it won't be DONE in 42 days (once you complete this book). What I have found as I've experienced this book & what it teaches is that you really have to work on yourself in some areas, before you can REALLY help.....BUT...once you start doing the work...God will PRESENT people into your life. They will come & almost ASK for you to minister to them. Then...you'll notice yourself LOOKING for ways to minister to people....& before you know it...you'll be ministering to AT LEAST one person a day. Keep in mind....this is my SECOND time around reading this book & my EXPERIENCE the second time around is so much RICHER, but...I've done some of the work that the book HELPED me realize needed to be done.

This chapter talks A LOT, A LOT about SHARING your spiritual journey & the lessons you've learned & writing them down. I am BLESSED in this area because I LOVE to journal & now I LOVE to blog. It has taken me THREE years for me to get to a point where I can be as open & honest as I am in these blogs. When I first started my BUCK UP BABY! blog, I was SO concerned about what people were going to think about me. I can honestly say that one of the things I've learned about myself is that yes....like everyone else...I want people to LIKE me....but somewhere in my thought process (I'm not sure what gets me to that point) I just ABANDON the concern & worry about it...& then usually worry about it later. I can tell you...that when I felt CALLED to do this....I was having a moment about sharing my journal entries. That's probably why it took me so long to start after reading the book the first time. I'm writing about this because I take for granted the fact that I LIKE to write stuff down. Not everyone does & not everyone even wants to. Here is what I can tell you from EXPERIENCE. The lessons I have learned & all that I am currently going through are REINFORCED by me putting it down on paper or typing it out. I mean I can SEE my growth...even from when I just started these posts. I have an advertising background & BELIEVE that people have to see & hear things a certain number of times to REALLY get the message, & I'm pretty sure God uses that same principal with us.

I have a friend that used to journal...probably like I do....just had books and books of journals. She told me that much of what she writes was the NEGATIVE stuff that she really doesn't EVER want anyone to find, so she burned most of them. This book says: "Don't just write down the pleasant things. As David did, record your doubts, fears, and struggles with God." For me....its therapeutic to get it out of me & onto paper. MOST times it shows me a whole different perspective on things, that I couldn't SEE when I was so upset about it. It's one of those things though....you HAVE to break FREE of caring about others' perception of you. Once you do that (or begin to do that) you won't really care who reads them. Here's another thing I learned....just recently. I was VERY similar to my friend in that...I mostly wrote down the BAD stuff. I've been asking God to infuse MORE JOY into my life....I could remember how I once was & started noticing how SO much of it has drained out of me & I started writing "JOY Journal" entries. Ultimately...you give 3 pieces of gratitude: J- A reason you are thankful for JESUS. O- OTHERS...you name a specific person you are thankful for & you state WHY. Y- YOURSELF...what about yourself are you thankful for? Slowly, but surely that JOY is comin' right back to me.

Here's what I'm sorta gettin' at... Right now I have anywhere between 18-40 REGULAR readers of these blog postings (It varies on my consistency) & although that may not seem like a lot...its that many MORE people reading MY experiences to HELP them DEVELOP  A RELATIONSHIP with The Holy Trinity....& I can ALWAYS go back to it & read it. People who just get the book can refer to these posts to help them on their journey....FOREVER. It doesn't hurt :). I'm not saying you have to share it with the world, but write it down, so you feel more comfortable SHARING it with others...through conversation or a short email.

Here's some take-aways from this chapter I'll SHARE with you:

"But you can keep your life balanced and on track by joining a small group for accountability, by regularly evaluating your spiritual health, by recording your progress in a personal journal, and by passing on what you learn to others."

"The Bible says, 'As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other.'"

"I strongly urge you to gather a small group of friends and form a Purpose Driven Life Reading Group to review these chapters on a weekly basis." - I'M DOWN FOR THIS IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED.

"The Bible is intended to be studied by paragraphs, chapters, and even entire books."

"The best way to balance the five purposes in your life is to evaluate yourself periodically."

"The Bible says, 'Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don't drift along taking everything for granted."

"Problems force you to focus on God, draw you closer to others in fellowship, build Christlike character, provide you with a ministry, and give you a testimony."

"You owe it to future generations to preserve the testimony of how God helped you fulfill his purposes on earth. It is a witness that will continue to speak long after you're in heaven."

"Proverbs tells us, 'The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.'"

"In this book I have passed on to you what others taught me about the purpose of life; now it's your duty to pass that on to others."

"The more you know, the more God expects you to use that knowledge to help others."

"Knowledge increases responsibility."

The Daily Stuff:

"Point to Ponder: Blessed are the balanced."

Daily Bible Verse: "Life life with a due sense of responsibility, not as those who do not know the meaning of life but as those who do." Ephesians 5:15 (PH)

Daily Question: "Which of the four activities will I begin in order to stay on track and balance God's five purposes for my life?"

From My Journal: 1) Give myself a spiritual checkup and email the author for a guideline to check myself. 2) Start thinking about the group I'd like to organize. It seems like I can't help, but pass it on to others and I do journal...about EVERYTHING.

I have not emailed the author yet, but I have started the organization of several groups...not necessarily a SPECIFIC group of study partners for this book. These blog posts started out with people commenting & sharing, but now people are MAINLY just reading it, which is fine too. It's HARD to talk about some of these topics.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Record that journey! Put it to paper! God Bless!!

Day 38: "Becoming a World-Class Christian"

Today we continue, as we near the end of our journey, through the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. Today we are on Day 38.

This chapter talks about A LOT of things...like they all do, such as: going on a mission....well not just A mission...MISSIONS...regularly. It also talks about different ways to work for God's CAUSE & minister to God's PEOPLE. I'm going to share an experience I had...just the other night.

It was OVERWHELMING. So....for all of you that don't know. I made the CHOICE to leave 2 very well paying jobs (2 seperate occasions). I had reached some goals that I ALWAYS wanted to reach: be the first of my family to graduate from college, get a good-paying job where I had insurance & benefits, move up in the company & excel, buy a HOUSE, have a boat, be able to afford to send our children to daycare & give them things I didn't have growing up, become involved in organizations, help people, train others.....

Well...I did that...& it just wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I did all those things. I'm proud of myself for doing a lot of those things. I've learned A LOT from all of those things, but....well...I was STRESSED a lot....especially towards the end & a lot of what these companies were asking me to do was either busy work, not the BEST use of my time (from what I thought....an economic & company standpoint). Just an example is: We'd be asked to set a certain number of meetings with a certain number of people about a NEW product/service we were offering....well before the company itself had its head wrapped around. BELIEVE ME....I get the numbers game & having prospects in the pipeline to convert into sales....but to put in plainly.....THE FOCUS SHIFTED FROM THE NEEDS OF THE INDIVIDUALS/COMPANIES/AGENCIES to what our COMPANY needed. I was trained on NEEDS-BASED selling....& when you try & do both you can't. You'll never 100% FULFILL the needs of the client & the company, when your focus SHIFTS to the company & not your consumer. So I found myself in perdicaments. I was in a perdicament with my beliefs & values. I was in perdicaments with novice managers, who's MAIN focus was to IMPRESS everyone up the line OR invent the next cool thing to help them become noticed.....instead of putting their head down & working in the trenches to pull a team, a building, an office out of the gutter & back on dry land & upper management doing nothing about it & I realized that I WAS NOT REALLY ABLE TO HELP ANYONE...THE WAY I KNEW THEY NEEDED HELP. My hands were tied. I was wearing myself out. I was taking it out on my husband, my kids, myself..... I was grumpy.....even with a house & land & a boat & nice cars & MY BEAUTIFUL FAMILY.

So I sit up one night....literally trying to UNDERSTAND the point & REALIZE...amongst other things that THAT JOB & what THEY expected me to be DID NOT DEFINE ME...it couldn't...That's why I was strugGLING with it. I realized that it wouldn't be easy, but that there was A LOT more. I just had to FIGURE IT OUT & God would be there in ALL of it. I LITERALLY acted on my gut, instincts, passion...whatever you wanna call it. I KNEW that staying where I was, was NOT doing myself any favors, but it wasn't doing my husband or my children any favors either....and I was doing it because we had become a slave to the almighty dollar.

So now we find ourselves..."in the trenches," if you will. We are making WAY less money than before. We are NEEDING to DEPEND on people in some areas....where we never had to & took pride in never having to....We bought a trailer house, which I never wanted to do (BUT...I'M REAL HAPPY ABOUT THE DECISION). I'm not "technically" using my college degree to secure that slam dunk job... I'm sure some people think we've lost it.  We were talking about FINANCES the other night. & well something was said (I honestly don't even know EXACTLY what it was), but I heard it differently than how I had been CHOOSING to here it. Well....it UNRAVELED me. It brought to LIGHT...the fact that I was doing all the things I ONCE took PRIDE in not having to do. Of being 100% COMPLETELY capable of handling that & more. My husband went to sleep. The kids fell asleep & I LITERALLY came UNDONE. I mean UN-FREAKIN-DONE boy! Crying to where I couldn't catch my breath & your nose gets all stopped up. QUESTIONING myself: my abilities, my choices, my reasoning, my spiritual journey, my worth.... WHEW! ALL OF IT. Then thinking...."Like hell, I'm gonna WASTE all this WORK & ENERGY....FRUITFUL work & energy I've done all year... What do I do next?" So....I say God just "TAKE IT FROM ME.... All this negative crap. All this worry & fret & frenzy & irrational thoughts....ALL of this misunderstanding & JUNK. Take it from me & let me sleep & awake clear-minded & FULL of purpose."  I mean....ALL I could do in that moment was SLEEP. I didn't wake up with ALL the answers, but I woke up with the KNOWING of what I would compromise & what I wouldn't. I woke up KNOWING that the devil KNEW just how to bring me to my knees... BUT I also knew it hurt a little, but I WOULDN'T GIVE UP what I KNOW now, for anything I once "knew".....I just had to get creATiVE.

I can't put into words how VALUABLE my relationship is with The Holy Trinity. I really can't....just go get you one! I mean...I think about that ATTACK on my pride....that I did myself & how it KNOCKED me down & how.....if I hadn't walked the walk I've been walking....how the devil could have won. How I could have gave in & abandoned the GOD work I had done. There's NO DOUBT that God would have taken me down a different path, but MAN!!! MAN. God took that situation &....I kinda feel like....took every ounce of my PRIDE that I once had (all the JUNK created by the WORLD's expectations)...handed it over to the devil & said..."Here's your souvenier. You can't have that piece of her anymore." As I woke, I was FILLED with the pride that I AM going in the RIGHT direction (even though I don't ever know what to expect next). That I am what I am & what I am is BLESSED. I'm going to be walking with God "moment to moment," like the book says because making these kind of choices opens me up to criticism & people NOT getting it. We can either let PEOPLE & PERCEPTIONS control us OR allow ourselves to CONTROL our circumstances & experiences TRULY based on what God teaches. It's a POWERFUL thing when you UNmuddy the waters....but you gotta swim through the mud first...

So as you sit there WONDERING how this story applies to this chapter....let me share a few important messages this chapter REVEALED to me through this experience:

"World-class Christians are the only fully alive people on the planet."

"...World-class Christians know they were saved to serve and made for a mission. They are eager to receive a personal assignment and excited about the privilege of being used by God."

"Of course, this is a difficult mental shift because we're naturally self-absorbed and almost all advertising encourages us to think of ourselves. The only way we can make this paradigm switch is by a moment-by-moment dependence on God."

"Your goal is to figure out where others are in their spiritual journey and then do whatever will bring them a step closer to knowing Christ."

"Prayer is the most important tool for your mission in the world. People may refuse our love or reject our message, but they are defenseless against our prayers." (Side note: It's SUPER COOL...when you KNOW all you can do is PRAY for them, you do, & then seeing God work in their lives.)

"The Bible tells us to pray for opportunities to witness, for courage to speak up, for those who will believe, for the rapid spread of the message, and for more workers."

"So much of what we waste our energy on will not matter even a year from now, much less for eternity."

"In one of his most misunderstood statements Jesus said, 'I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.' Jesus did not mean for you to 'buy' friends with money. What he meant was that you should use the money God gives you to bring people to Christ. They will then be friends for eternity who will welcome you when you get to heaven!"

"You have probably heard the expression 'You can't take it with you' - but the Bible says you can send it on ahead by investing in people who are going there."

"'Don't say that,' the Lord replied, 'for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don't be afraid of the people, for I will be with yo
u and take care of you.'"

"God doesn't want to use just some of his people; he wants to use all of his people."

"Jesus said, 'Only those who throw away their lives for my sake and for the sake of the Good News will ever know what it means to really live!'"

Here's the DAILY stuff:

"Point to Ponder: The Great Commission is my commission."

Daily Bible Verse: "Send us around the world with the news of your saving power and your eternal plan for all mankind." Psalm 67:2 (LB)

Daily Question: "What steps can I take to prepare to go on a short-term missions experience in the next year?"

From My Journal:
1) Research It.
2) Be somewhere close.
3) Go as a couple.
4) Save Up.
5) Book It.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! There's only FOUR MORE DAYS left in this book, but I KNOW you've already Got LOTS of stuff to keep you buSy.

Day 37: "Sharing Your Life Message"

Today we continue on to Day 37 in Pastor Rick Warren's Book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?

This chapter does a FANTASTIC job of breaking it down to how we can bullet point all the important parts of our life message...thus far. Like I've said before...These chapters are chalked full of SO much good information, so PLEASE read it....really read it. My plan is to go through Pastor Warren's bullet points & SHARE my experiences.

First of all:
"Your Life Message has four parts to it:
-Your testimony: the story of how you began a relationship with Jesus.
-Your life lessons: the most important lessons God has taught you.
-Your godly passions: the issues God shaped you to care about most.
-The Good News: the message of salvation. "

Keep that in mind as we go through this. Here are a few other quotes from the book to help put the IMPORTANCE of this into perspective.

"There is no other story just like yours, so only you can share it."

"Actually, your personal testimony is more effective than a sermon, because unbelievers see pastors as professional salesmen, but see you as a 'satisfied customer,' so they give you more credibility."

"Shared stories build a relational bridge that Jesus can walk across from your heart to theirs."

"The Bible says, 'A warning given by an experienced person to someone willing to listen is more valuable than...jewelry made of the finest gold.'"

The book challenges you to WRITE OUT your testimony & KNOW the key points of it, by asking these four points: (I'll answer with MY answers.)

"1. What my life was like before I met Jesus." - confusing & a little chaotic
"2. How I realized I needed Jesus." - I had questions and issues and concerns that either no one could help me with, no one knew how to help me, no one wanted to help me, or I wasn't comfortable talking to anyone about them.
"3. How I committed my life to Jesus" - I stepped out in FAITH that what I was being taught by my family & my church about Jesus was TRUE. I prayed a very long & personal prayer to him & ASKED him to walk my walk with me. Help me to feel his presence when I was afraid, confused, aggravated, mad, etc. & to HELP me.
"4. The difference Jesus has made in my life" - ALL the difference. I would NEVER be as successful as I am, in the different areas of my life, if it wasn't for Him. I was LOST & felt no other option, but to TRUST that he could lead me in the right direction.

The book also asks you to make a list of your LIFE LESSONS, by answering several questions. So, here goes....

"What has God taught me from failure?" - God has taught me that there is another side to a failure. WHATEVER you are going through....you will get through it & be ALIVE. Then YOU will have a CHOICE....a choice to move forward from it & learn from it & apply it in your life OR let it define you & make you stagnant. I gave the best advice I think I've ever given someone, the other day: "If you KNOW what you are supposed to do, then you have two choices: 1) Do it...even if it is hard...you'll live through it OR 2) Give in."

"What has God taught me from a lack of money?" - I smile as I type this...because...BOY, has he taught me some things.... He's taught me that he will provide just what we need &, if we slow down to look at everything around us...we will figure it out on our own. He's also taught me how to HONOR our hard work & be less frivolous with our money. Probably the biggest thing he's taught me is that...it's really all God's money. I mean...you CAN'T serve God & money. So how do we take this massive value off MONEY & what we do with it & how much we lose & how we compare each other based on how much each other has?? Realize that it is ALL God's money. It's kinda like playing monopoly & we spend our money, based on the circumstances at hand, we use what we are given to do the best we can.... In real life...not Monopoly life we aren't all give the same amount, but we are given enough...for whatever our mission is. Our MAIN focus is supposed to be SHARING THE GOOD NEWS...using the GIFTS, TALENTS, & SKILLS God has given us. So...if you use your money to do things that are God's work...you'll ALWAYS be taken care of.  

"What has God taught me from pain or sorrow or depression?" That Jesus has walked through EVERYTHING we have walked through or may walk through & has given us stories in the Bible to show us. If we can't identify ourselves with Jesus's walk there are numerous saints, disciples, & people of the Bible that we can. Not only that...but, lately, I've learned how foolish I am for thinking that I am ALONE and that no one else has ever experienced the kinds of feelings I am, at ANY given time. We HAVE to share our stories with others, because you never know when you are helping a COMPLETE STRANGER.

"What has God taught me through waiting?" He's taught me patience....& is still teaching me :). He's taught me to PAUSE & LOOK AROUND. He's taught me to slow my hurry & look for what he's trying to show me. He's taught me that its all about His plan & not mine.

"What has God taught me through illness?" - I have to go back to when we realized that my Dad had went into a diabetic coma, later to find out that he needed a liver transplant, how much it was going to cost, the potential prognosis, & everything that happened after that. Through that ENTIRE experience I learned the IMMENSE importance of our web of relationships and connections. I realized how DEPENDENT we were on the open hearts of other people. I experienced REAL personal criticism, from people we had thought were our friends. I experienced GRACE when I was able to talk to those people in a humble & honest way & move past it. He used that experience to pull my family closer together & allow each member of my family to see areas of WORTH...we hadn't paid attention to before. He taught me that people's hearts are GOOD...when COMPLETE STRANGERS started showing up with auction items & bidding on things at auction. Most of all...maybe...he taught me that, when people work together for the good of one...the illness can be overcome. The goal can be reached. The effort is not for naught. That it matters. That we all matter & that he works through EVERY situation...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Thought I'd share a couple souvenirs from our efforts:
Pretty rad koozie to keep our beverages of choice cool.

My Belt Buckle for winning the Jackpot class: Good for holdin' my pants up, while I'm flyin' by the seat of my pants. 

Seein' my Daddy covered up with his grand babies (with his one & only right by his side) EIGHT years later....PRICELESS.

"What has God taught me from disappointment?" - He's taught me to look for the lesson. Look for the opening. Look for the purpose. He's taught me (over time) that He has a better plan. He's taught me that I am worthy. He's taught me that you get through it & that there is MORE on the other side of the disappointment. He's taught me how to focus on me & not necessarily my expectations of others. He's taught me to KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

"What have I learned from my family, my church, my relationships, my small group, and my critics?" - Boy...that's a loaded question. I've learned from my family many things to do & not to do. I've learned about LOVE & loyalty. I've learned about disappointment & moving forward. I've learned to NEVER give up....& (over time) the right times to give in to certain things. I've learned about pride, jealousy, hard-work, some of my talents, communication skills of people of all ages, & SO MUCH MORE. I've learned to appreciate BOTH the negatives & the positives & I've learned how to accept people that think so differently from one another. From my church: I've learned A LOT about The Holy Trinity. I've learned about Mother Mary, the disciples, the saints... I've learned about the importance of baptism, confirmation, communion, marriage & other sacraments. I've learned prayers & stories & songs that all remind me that I am NEVER alone. From my relationships: What I'm good at & not good at. Areas where I need to grow & areas where I need to help others grow. I've developed more of a servant's heart. I've learned the importance of communication & showing affection & spending time together & acknowledging whatever the other is thinking, whether you agree or not. I've learned & taught about RESPECT. I've learned that, when you work as a team, the results are way BETTER, than goin' it alone or without the help and advice of the other. What have I learned from my small groups: (I've been a part of all kinds) I've learned communication is KEY & communication that is open & objective....TOTALLY. I've learned of the importance of getting groups of people together that have different talents & strengths, but are still able to communicate openly & effectively. I've learned when the leadership is weak the group crumbles & when it is strong it flourishes. I've learned the different ways & reasons people make the decisions they make. I've learned that people put importance on things different from me & I've been able to see things from other viewpoints. I've seen the importance of having a PURPOSE to everything you do & if you don't...you may as well not do it. I've learned that if I don't know...I NEED to ask & that there is ALWAYS someone that will have the answer. I've learned to work with people I trust & I've learned how to decrease the static. I've learned when to say no, yes, & maybe. From my critics.....I've learned to look at the criticisms from my critics as windows for areas of growth (THAT TOOK ME A WHILE & I STILL HAVE TO WORK ON IT). I've realized that I don't have to have answers for them right away. I've learned that I don't work to make THEM happy. I've realized A LOT about EGOS (mine, theirs, others). I've learned that when people criticize you....they are usually bringing light to some flaw they see in themselves. I've learned that people that criticize you have a real hard time doing it to your face...which is another weakness of theirs. I've learned that to criticize...instead of encourage is their choice & the ONLY way to combat the negativity is to ENCOURAGE the individual(s) to be open & honest & direct to whomever they are criticizing. I've learned the POWER of critics & the instant ability they hold in STEALING JOY from others. You can have 1000 people toot your horn & sing your praises, but as soon as you have that ONE person that hits you in an area (that you already feel weakness in) they can bring you to your knees. For ME: the best way to combat that power is to SURROUND yourself with GOD'S PEOPLE that can help you, encourage you, & give you the ability to learn from their experiences....& to do LOTS of PRAYING....and work on yourself to flush out those areas of weakness...so NOTHING can prey on them.

Here's a few more important quotes from this chapter:

Talking about your life message: "Whatever it is, you will feel compelled to speak up about it and do what you can to make a difference."

"God uses passionate people to further his kingdom."

"You should not expect everyone else to be passionate about your passion."

If you aren't CERTAIN what "The Good News" is: "'The Good News shows how God makes people right with himself - that it begins and ends with faith.' 'For God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. This is the wonderful message he has given us to tell others.'"

"Most important, you must learn to love lost people the way God does."

"We must care about unbelievers because God does."

"If you've been afraid to share the Good News with those around you, ask God to fill your heart with his love for them."

"The eternal salvation of a single soul is more important than anything else you will ever achieve in life."

Here's the DAILY stuff:

"Point to Ponder: God wants to say something to the world through me."

Daily Bible Verse: "Be ready at all times to answer anyone who asks you to explain the hope you have in you, but do it with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15B (TEV)

Daily Question: "As I reflect on my personal story, who does God want me to share it with?

From My Journal: I think God wants me to share it to anyone who will listen. That is why I feel compelled to have a radio show, keep blogging & sharing my story, video blog, say a prayer or say a message at my auctions. I struggle with the struggle of me looking like I (just) want the attention and God calling me and conditioning me for it. Believe me...I know because I'd love to be in comfy clothes & no make-up everyday, but that will not spread this word. (I wrote this entry after just coming off a criticism...maybe a perceived criticism. I KNOW that I feel like I am being CALLED to share my experiences with others, because there have been numerous times that I wouldn't have minded the easier road. However, someone else gave their two-cents worth to someone about me enjoying the spotlight. I'm not drudging around unhappy about it, but if I didn't feel CALLED to do it, I'd go get my spotlight elsewhere.)

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Kick the critics.....I mean...not literally. Just find you some ENCOURAGERS to surround yourself with & SHARE your story. Jesus left it ALL on the cross, the least we can do is SHARE our message.

God Bless!

Day 36: "Made for a Mission"

Today we begin to learn about the 5th & FINAL purpose Pastor Rick Warren's Book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? discusses. We've learned A LOT so far...right? I mean...I look back on my journal entries, that I've been sharing with you guys, and see how I am thinking WAY differently from what I WAS thinking. Totally shows me MY growth.

I struGGLE finding the right words to drive this home for ya'll. I read the chapter again. I sat on it. I tried to recall some experiences of my own that HELP me to better understand a story Pastor Warren shares with us in this chapter...that is SO moving. I will share that story...it is lengthy & STRAIGHT from the book, but I want as many people to read it as possible....even my readers that may not go and get this book.

When I worked in nursing home sales, I officed with our MDS Coordinator & our Medical Records Coordinator. I became friends with both of these ladies & they have added to my life by sharing their experiences with me & us experiencing some together. One of those experiences was having a resident on our hall that was suffering from Dementia...among other things.

Every person I've encountered, suffers from Dementia differently. You will find some that slowly slide/progress into the disease. There are some that become happier/friendlier as the disease progresses...kind of...pleasantly unaware. Some become anxious or confused or timid...they regress. Then there are some that bitterly & angrily hold on to ALL they can as long as they can.

As I sit here & type this...it just AMAZES me at how we will CONTINUE to TEACH each other...until our final breath...and, by God's will, might be able to go on teaching people even longer.

This resident would scream different, random things all day long....most of the time. Sometimes they would holler for HELP. The 3 of us that shared an office & the other nurses, aids, & staff that were on duty, would take turns checking in with them. When you would go in...you NEVER know where the conversation was going. I can tell you that mine have ranged from conversations about their stuffed animal kitty to real life cats they used to have to our therapy cat to how their house was designed to them being the boss to blood-curdling screams & rants telling you how worthless & ugly you were (cuss words included...all of them). I had conversations with this person that could be about kitty cats one minute & then have them throw me the MOST hateful stare I have EVER gotten.

I share this with you because, you could see glimpses of their personality when you talked to them & I could see how hard they was clinging to whatever it was they still had. You could tell by the conversations what made them the happiest in their life, what made them feel the most secure, and ALL the insecurities they had throughout their life. It can show us what the things are we hang on to the longest.

Well...Now I will SHARE Pastor Warren's story with you. It is called "One More For Jesus"
"My father was a minister for over fifty years, serving mostly in small, rural churches. He was a simple preacher, but he was a man with a mission. His favorite activity was taking teams of volunteers overseas to build church buildings for small congregations. In his lifetime, Dad built over 150 churches around the world. In 1999, my father died of cancer. In the final week of his life the disease kept him awake in a semi-conscious state nearly twenty-four hours a day. As he dreamed, he would talk out loud about what he was dreaming. Sitting by his bedside, I learned a lot about my dad by just listening to his dreams. he relived one church building project after another. One night near the end, while my wife, my niece, and I were by his side, Dad suddenly became very active and tried to get out of bed. Of course, he was too weak, and my wife insisted he lay back down. But he persisted in trying to get out of bed, so my wife finally asked, 'Jimmy, what are you trying to do?' He replied, 'Got to save one more for Jesus! Got to save one more for Jesus! Got to save one more for Jesus!' As I sat by his bed with tears flowing down my cheeks, I bowed my head to thank God for my dad's faith. At that moment Dad reached out and placed his frail hand on my head and said, as if commissioning me, 'Save one more for Jesus! Save one more for Jesus!' I intend for that to be the theme of the rest of my life. I invite you to consider it as a focus for your life, too, because nothing will make a greater difference for eternity. If you want to be used by God, you must care about what God cares about; what he cares about most is the redemption of the people he made. He wants his lost children found! Nothing matters more to God; the Cross proves that. I pray that you will always be on the lookout to reach 'one more for Jesus' so that when you stand before God one day, you can say, 'Mission accomplished!'"

His father's life was given COMPLETELY to "bringing people to Jesus." Me reflecting on these two stories SHOWS me the importance of getting ourselves to Jesus first. WE have got to get there to bring other people to him. Not only that, but we have to get there while we can.

Another thing that STICKS OUT to me is : "one more." Probably the best SALES advice I EVER got were by two different gentleman. One is someone I knew ALL my life. I was selling raffle tickets as a little girl & I was afraid to ask people to buy them & this man said: "There's no need to be afraid. All they can do is tell you no. Then you can just go on to the next person. There is always 'one more' who will." The other was by a gentleman that was a regular at a restaurant I used to work at. He had retired from a career in sales & I believe I was just starting my first REAL job in sales. We were talking about cold-calling & he said: "When you've had a long day...even a bad day...& you didn't set very many appointments...BEFORE you wrap it up for the day...make 'one more' call."

Something that has just come to me.... Like I've told you before...MY VERSE right now is Mark 12:30. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all your soul & with all your mind & with all your strength." It's a process. It takes work to REALLY love with ALL of anything. As I sit here typing out my reflections & take-aways from past experiences, I recognize that the FIRST STEP is to love God with ALL your heart. Once you do that...it will BECOME part of your SOUL. I believe our LONGEST & TOUGHEST battle will be to love with ALL our mind....it's no easy task to rid your mind of the bad & negativity in our world & our reactions to it.... & THEN...one day...when it seems like we have no STRENGTH left...we will MUSTER up ALL WE'VE GOT to give it all to Him.

What I've shared today doesn't even begin to tell you EVERYTHING this chapter holds. Here are some other important lines from the chapter:

"God wants you to have both a ministry in the Body of Christ and a mission in the world. Your ministry is your service to believers, and your mission is your service to unbelievers."

"Being a Christian includes being sent into the world as a representative of Jesus Christ."

"In the Great Commission Jesus said, 'Go to the people of all nations and make them my disciples. Baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to do everything I have told you.' This commission was given to every follower of Jesus, not to pastors and missionaries alone. This is your commission from Jesus, and it is not optional. These words of Jesus are not the Great Suggestion. If you are a part of God's family, your mission is mandatory. To ignore it would be disobedience."

"You are the only Christian some people will ever know, and your mission is to share Jesus with them."

"There are people on this planet whom only you will be able to reach,  because of where you live and what God has made you to be."

"What we do know for sure is this: Jesus will not return until everyone God wants to hear the Good News has heard it. Jesus said, 'The Good News about God's kingdom will be preached in all the world, to every nation. Then the end will come.'"

"You hand God a blank sheet with your name signed at the bottom and tell him to fill in the details."

"Jesus has promised, '[God] will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.'"

Here's the Daily Stuff:

"Point to Ponder: I was made for a mission."

Daily Bible Verse: "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:19 (NIV)

Daily Question: "What fears have kept me from fulfilling the mission God made me to accomplish? What keeps me from telling others the Good News?"

From My Journal: I feel like I am moving forward with His mission. Sometimes I think the things that stop me are: finding the right time, place, and/or way to do it, sometimes peoples perception, timing, over thinking it, inconvenience, fear of being judged, method and timing of delivery for the message, projected acceptance of the message, being overwhelmed by it.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Go get you that "one more" until you can't "one more" anymore.

"Day 35: "God's Power In Your Weakness"

This post will round out the chapters for our 4th Purpose: "You Were Shaped for Serving God." Today we talk about "God's Power In Your Weakness," and move on to Day 35 in the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

As I find myself getting closer to God, Jesus, & The Holy Spirit.... I'm havin' to deal with things. I've always been a "Get'r Done" kinda gal. You know...super duper multi-tasker...regularly frenzied up because I was running from one thing to the next trying to be/find/develop a solution for everybody....and you know...pretty good at it....BUT it was flat exhausting. So as I learn that anxiety and worry are not Godly, and as I reflect back and realize I LIVED through resigning from that position & am here to tell about IT & the journey I've been on, and as I try REAL HARD to be who God wants me to be....I realized something.

I have a pattern. Even though I have UN-frenzied much of my life (& I'm still working on some areas) I kind of adopted the thought process that NOTHING is ever good enough. Now....let me tell ya...it's not like I JUST discovered this. I mean I knew it was a FLAW of mine, but I kind of just went around it, covered it up, ignored it, & discredited it. Well....I also know now that EVERYTHING has a purpose & I CAN'T BE who God wants me to be if I CONSTANTLY find a way to discredit myself...or any extension of myself.

So then I try to stop... I don't know how & IT'S NOT SIMPLE, so don't even go there with me. I mean when you become AWARE...like REALLY AWARE you can stop yourself in one moment, but then realize you just did it a few minutes before and didn't even realize it. I'm tellin' you...it's deep-rooted. So then I pray to God & say: "I'm in a funk. I know you love me. I know you know I'm tryin'. BUT I know somethin' ain't right and I want to make it right & I don't know how. PLEASE allow me to feel that gentle tug from The Holy Spirit to get me THERE...wherever THERE is." So then the Mark 12:30 pops in my head: "Love the Lord your God with all your HEART, & with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Now I didn't get this right away....only later when I watched an interview of 2-time Cancer Survivor Mark Nepo.....that the KEY is the HEART....MY heart...mines the only one that can HELP me. The other things are important, but the HEART is first for a reason. Then, as I sat down to write this post & re-read the chapter this pops out at me: "A weakness is any limitation that you inherited or have no power to change." Hmmmm....well I'm TRYIN' my dangdest, but I CAN'T figure it out! I don't have the answer/solution/etc. Why can't I just be HAPPY?

I'm not sure how many of you readers are familiar with prayer work & generational work, but that's what I was led to. So think about this. Studies have shown that abused and neglected children will sometimes go their ENTIRE life holding onto things, having a plethora of issues, & in mental turmoil from the actions that happened to them. What about someone who's mother, brother, sister, father, friend committed suicide/died in some form of tragedy/was abused/neglected/handicapped...Do you think they will be affected by that in some way? What if that someone has kids & doesn't DEAL with the funk their in? the questions they have? the plethora of emotions? Well...some of that FUNK rubs off on them (the kids)...whatever it is OR whatever way they express it: anger, never measuring up, bitterness, negativity, passing judgements, selfishness....the list could go on. Well (someone that's been studyin' this a long time may beg to differ) BUT that starts a generational thread that will CONTINUALLY be passed down (many times without even knowing it) UNTIL someone puts the brakes on it. From MY experience putting the brakes on it means HONESTLY & OPENLY OWNING your flaws...ALL of them...the REAL ugLY ones...the ones you think aren't so bad & ARE...OWNING the flaws of your PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS & GREAT-GRANDPARENTS & how they've affected YOUR life & how YOU allowed them to, without even knowing it............ I'm tellin' you...I've never done nothin' like it. I mean you OPENLY & HONESTLY KNOW & IDENTIFY a flaw....& have a hard time letting go of it because it's been a defining part of you & you are SCARED of functioning without it. Guess what.... YOU WILL FUNCTION WITHOUT IT. It's just like working for a company for your entire professional career, thinking you'd retire there, deciding to resign, & not bein' sure what's next. You can bet SOMETHING's next. FAITH: Sometimes is easy & a life-line & sometimes it's TOUGH. Just know...if you step out in it.....SOMETHING will replace what you left.

Mark Nepo discussed in the interview I watched that: God is there when we BREAK & he's there when the break opens up.....MAYBE the biggest take away from that interview (there were MANY take-aways) is when he said: "Whatever opens us is never as important as what it opens."

I kinda feel like God is holding my hand a little bit. It's all on time. It all has purpose & I AM ENOUGH right here, right now, & there is NO NEED to hurry, worry, or force. I feel MORE LOVED than ever. I feel worthy. I feel blessed. I feel like an ESSENTIAL, DIVINE piece of God's PLAN. I don't KNOW the plan. I just know I'm NECESSARY....just the way I am & in just the direction I'm going.

One other thing that Mark Nepo talked about that TOTALLY hit home for me was something along these lines: It was after he had beat cancer for the first time. He had tapped into that spiritual KNOWING....kind of like a line of communication & he KNEW he was supposed to wait...not force things. He was a professor and a writer & he wanted to contribute to society. He wanted to be an accomplished poet, but he KNEW he needed to listen and feel for that tug or see that open door. He said it felt so ODD for him. His description (& a good one) is it was like he was in a river and the banks were always his guide, but after he survived cancer the first time & he had developed in his faith and knowing it was like that river came too the mouth of the ocean & his guides were gone...& he didn't know what to do next.

Boy.....do I KNOW that feeling. Lost...you feel lost & lonely...& start second-guessing yourself and your decisions that you HAD felt so passionately about. But then Nepo said this (& I'm TOTALLY paraphrasing from memory) "He then realized that the current was still there. It was just lower & deeper."

These are just a few examples of weakness where GOD uses his power within them (my inability to see VALUE & WHOLENESS in myself, our NEED to control where we go next, and Nepo's journey to beat cancer). I ENCOURAGE all of you to take a good hard look at your weaknesses & pray to God about them and ASK God to USE them for his glory.

"Point to Ponder: God works best when I admit my weakness."

Daily Bible Verse: "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9A (NIV)

Daily Question: "Am I limiting God's power in my life by trying to hide my weaknesses? What do I need to be honest about in order to help others?

From my Journal: (I had NO CLUE the first time around.) I really do feel like I'm pretty open about most things. Some areas of struggle, which I've mentioned before is cleanliness. It's an area of laziness and disinterest for me and I don't like it, but I'm not sure how to fix it. Another area of weakness is time management - which I feel like I'm improving on and probably money management - which I also feel like I'm getting better at. Another weakness is voicing my needs to the people that can help me. Around certain people I gossip more freely and it bothers me because I'm trying not to.

I can tell you now, that EVERYTHING I listed above are surface weaknesses & SOMEHOW (it was some kind of process) I felt the NEED to get honest....REAL honest....honest to myself, God, & a TRUSTED friend.

Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! The first time around he's easy on ya. The second time HE BRINGS YOU TO IT,...but he brings you through it too.

God Bless!

Day 34: "Thinking Like A Servant"

On to day 34 of the The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. Man! This chapter makes my head hurt I'm thinkin' so hard. I mean...the more you develop your relationship with GOD, the more you'll realize how many....layers...there are to EVERYTHING. What you have to remember, to keep your sanity, is that we are ALL different & there is not ONE right way to be a servant. There are SO many ways people serve. I can tell you...my wheels are turnin,' but I KNOW God has this. He knows where I'm at. He knows what I don't know & he knows my HEART...and he's got me.

This chapter hits points that have all been in my thoughts, are things I struggle with, are questions I'm trying to answer, etc...so it OVERWHELMED me a little. I'm just going to go through and share some of those points.

"God is always more interested in why we do something than in what we do. Attitudes count more than achievements."

"Unfortunately, a lot of our service is often self-serving. We serve to get others to like us, to be admired, or to achieve our own goals. That is manipulation, not ministry."

"I am, by nature, selfish. I think most about me. That's why humility is a daily struggle, a lesson I must relearn over and over."

"The Bible says, 'If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life.'"

"Servants remember that God owns it all."

"Living for ministry and living for money are mutually exclusive goals."

"God uses money to test your faithfulness as a servant."

"Wealth Builders continue to amass wealth for themselves no matter how much they make, but Kingdom Builders change the rules of the game. They still try to make as much money as they can, but they do it in order to give it away. They use the wealth to fund God's church and its mission in the world."

"It is also not our job to defend ourselves against criticism. Let your Master handle it."

"If you serve like Jesus, you can expect to be criticized. The world, and even much of the church, does not understand what God values."

"Because they remember they are loved and accepted by grace, servants don't have to prove their worth."

"Insecure people are always worrying about how they appear to others. They fear exposure of their weaknesses and hide beneath layers of protective pride and pretensions."

"When you base your worth and identity on your relationship to Christ, you are freed from the expectations of others, and that allows you to really serve them best."

"Henri Nouwen said, 'In order to be of service to others we have to die to them; that is, we have to give up measuring our meaning and value with the yardstick of others...thus we become free to be compassionate.'"

"Point to Ponder: To be a servant I must think like a servant."

Daily Verse: "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:5 (NIV)

Daily Question: "Am I usually more concerned about being served or finding ways to serve others?"

From My Journal: Finding ways to serve others...undoubtedly. This can range from my husband and children, to friends and family to complete strangers...and God. I get lost, confused, twisted up about things, etc, but I am a servant.

I have a confession :) I typed this blog 4 or 5 days ago, but felt like I was JUST listing the pieces of it that struck home to me, but I didn't know how to convey what I was feeling/thinking/wanting to convey.

I just finished watching an Oprah interview with The Invisible Child Co-Founder & Chief Creative Officer, Jason Russell. To learn more about his movement read HERE: http://invisiblechildren.com/

There were LOTS of things talked about, but THAT interview will HELP me to EXPLAIN my struggle with this whole..."Thinking Like A Servant."

Here's the cliff notes: Jason Russell had a nervous breakdown/psycotic break/meltdown...whatever you wanna call it. Jason & 2 friends decided to film a documentary in East Africa & ultimately... (straight from The Invisible Children website): "They discovered a war in Uganda that had been going on for 20 years where a brutal warlord named Joseph Kony and his rebel army, the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), were abducting children and forcing them to become soldiers." Go check out the website, because what this group of individuals did was TOTALLY coming from the RIGHT place...a place of PASSION for people...for humanity...for wanting to make RIGHT what we know from the CORE of our being is wrong.

They created a video called: KONY 2012. PLEASE watch it when you have some time. It generated an intense, BOLD movement, that my words can't even begin to describe...Questions started being asked that questioned the INTEGRITY of the cause. Jason...feeling SO passionately about it...saw it as questioning HIS integrity right along with it. I can't speak for him, but watching the interview...it seemed as if (from what seemed like a GLOBAL standpoint for him) it was all crumbling. The cause that he believed in was losing it's....value right before his eyes & he felt responsible. He wanted to FIX it & he couldn't sleep. He couldn't do anything, BUT think about the negative reactions...the judgements against the cause (& those he related to himself). It didn't matter that over a million people believed in THE CAUSE, that HE was so passionate about. The judgement of a few (in comparison) &...in my opinion... was the devil's CHANCE to get in and twist things up.

It can happen SO fast. Why is it SO easy to forget all the positive feedback & listen to the negative? Why is that what our natural response has become?

So...I digress a little. In this situation (how I see it) the devil capitalized on Jason's need for positive perception from EVERYONE. He preyed on it...he used it to TRY & defile it all......

Then God stepped in...& Jason's paraphrased words when Oprah asked him about the BIGGER picture of his VERY public breakdown: "It was God's way of plucking my EGO right out of the situation." (He didn't say it quite like that, but that's how I heard it.) All along the way...Jason could have LISTENED to OTHERS when they told him to rest, take a break, reassuring him that his role is coming from the
RIGHT place...he chose not to...(with the devil's help) & God USED that mess that was spiraling out of control to STRIP Jason of his EGO. To make him realize that God's WAY is way easier than the convaluted mess that he's trying to make work....on his own. I mean...GOD uses ALL of us to make his plan work...we are kind of foolish to think that we can go it on our own.

So as we talk about thinking like a servant...How does someone...a leader...that gets bombarded with a plethora of questions daily & who is looked to, to have the answers...How, when questions start bubbling up & that leader doesn't have all the answers, do they NOT hold the responsibility in KNOWING it? I mean...I can see how fast & somewhat easy it could be to get twisted up like Jason did. It happened to me just a few weeks ago on a MUCH smaller level than this & It took me several days to work through it & REALIZE (through prayer & journaling) that I don't have all the answers & how foolish I was to think that I was the ONLY person that had gone through something like this.

The quotes from the book, I made bold, all can be applied to this situation, but I think the one that we ALL need to rest in...especially those that are subject to more criticism is this: "It is also not our job to defend ourselves against criticism. Let your Master handle it." God KNOWS we don't have all the answers. In actuality...we have very little. God will not call us to go it alone...EVER. God wants us to rely on each other...& HIM. I can almost bet money that Jason will be able to hear that inner voice now, enabling him to stop the whirlwind. We may not always like the way God gets his victory, but we're sure glad he got it.

The movement Jason helped start & continues to DEVOTE himself to is so IMPORTANT. It's God's work...no doubt. I admire his tenacity, his strength, his mission, his faith. I admire that he GOT UP after his breakdown & is back at it, full force. I also admire him & his friends ability to: "create with abandon." When I was milling around with the same emotions Jason was dealing with...just muted down, I pulled out a journal that I bought that I hadn't written in yet & along with a lot of other encouraging words...the words "Create with abandon." LEAPED off the page at me. That is what I did. That is what Jason and his friends did. In that moment I TRULY realized it was all okay. It was not as big a deal as what my head was telling me it was. I wasn't going it alone & I not only had friends to support me, but I had friends that new stuff...new stuff to make it BETTER...to REACH more people. If either of us wouldn't have "created with abandon" the people we are helping, wouldn't get the help. I THANK GOD he found a way to speak to me that stopped my whirlwind...& I'm even thankful for Jason's experience. That it could be shared, so people that struggle with the same feelings can learn from it. God knew he could handle it & bounce back WAY stronger.

The leadership role can be a tough one sometimes. You start your work to serve God & serve people, but (because of the role you have) you can start serving your ego & not even know it. Put people in your camp that can "check you."

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! CREATE WITH ABANDON! That's how we WILL change our world & LEARN to TRULY trust God!

Day 33: "How Real Servants Act"

Today we continue on to Day 33 in the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. I am struggling with today's reading. I'm struggling because: I'm a GREAT servant in some areas and a lousy, LOUSY servant in others. I'm doing my best to learn more about The Bible & what it teaches & deepening my relationship with God, but sometimes....I've got a lot more to learn than I thought. BUT THEN, I take a step back...because I realize I'm comparing where I think I was to where I actually am & I need to be content in NOT KNOWING & JUST BE.

I'm working a lot through my head, with this one. Sometimes...some of the things I'm called to do, put me FRONT-&-CENTER. I'm not saying I really WANT that, but sometimes I feel called to be doing just that & this chapter talks about TRUE servants...being content & happy in the shadows. I felt constricted, useless, & just wrong "in the shadows." Kinda like...I was WASTING time & God-given gifts. Right now, where I'm at with it, is that I know all of our ministries & SHAPES are different & some of us will be called to be in more public roles & platforms than others. For that same reason, our role as a SERVANT will be VERY unique to us. I TRULY...don't FULLY understand the who, what, where, why, how to this. I just KNOW it is NECESSARY to become more like Christ. My frustration comes in because there is a fine line we walk with SHARING our experiences with others (which I see as bringing more people to Jesus) & SHARING and losing site of the PURPOSE of sharing.

At this point, I know that God is working on me & giving me more of a SERVANT'S HEART. I can also tell you that I'm A LOT further along than what I was...even two weeks ago, BUT I have a long way to go (yet...also VERY aware that God can speed things up & slow things down...anytime he chooses.) There are several RECENT situations that have happened & PEOPLE that have...re-entered my life in a NEW way...that tests my patience. Like...probably would have avoided these interactions at all costs & could have...relatively easily, but (only by God's grace) I chose not to. I KNOW (in this one particular situation I am talking about) I will have NO CHOICE, but to act as servant. It will be NECESSARY to the safety of the individual.

Something I have learned...the more you KNOW...the more RESPONSIBLE you become. The more successful you become, the more RESPONSIBLE you are for protecting & upholding that success. If you ignore the responsibility than you are ignoring/discarding/forgetting/belittling/down-playing/etc. the KNOWLEDGE & SUCCESS you have. I have ventured from the story a little bit, but I REALLY thought this recent interaction with this one person would be VERY short-lived...& now I view it as a TOTAL BLESSING. I mean...I don't know...if any of you have ever become SO aware of an area of yourself that you need to "work on," but didn't become AWARE of it until you were actually working on it...but that's what happened. Here's a list of some of the things this experience has helped me with: PATIENCE, slowing down, refining a talent/skill that hasn't REALLY been used in quite some time, seeing VALUE in what I bring to the table, seeing how helping another person can allow that person to help me, & CREATING an opportunity to SHARE my walk with God. All that....through one act of serving someone else.

Another thing that comes to mind when I read this chapter is how, in certain circumstances, one of the things I like the very least (washing dishes), I can do HAPPILY in certain situations. I KNOW this may seem silly, but the first time I read this chapter I put forth effort to wash those dishes & other peoples dishes GLADLY. It was WORK to TRY and enjoy it...tough work. Yet, in certain situations I will hop right to it, get it done, & move onto the next thing. In my eyes...the situation where I just do it, is a place where it NEEDS to be done & it needs to be done IN THAT MOMENT. Most other times...I can find LOTS of other things that NEED to be done sooner.

The other thought that really came to mind when reading this chapter is the LEVEL of servitude in my family & friends. I mean I have some friends & family members that are TRUE servants. They don't want anything else, but to help get IT done. Whatever IT might be. I mean...it can be anything from juggling the doctor appointments of 3 family members throughout the week, to riding along with you to HELP....IF you need it, to dropping what they are doing to help someone else accomplish what they NEED to accomplish. Like I said before, God created us all uniquely...right down to the WAY we serve. I think God designed us to long to SERVE others & we all do in some capacity. It's yet another way God created us, to HELP each other.

"Point to Ponder: I serve God by serving others."

Daily Verse: "If you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded." Matthew 10:42 (NLT)

Daily Question: "Which of the six characteristics of real servants offers the greatest challenge to me?

From my Journal: Doing every task with equal dedication. There are some tasks that I don't like doing. This goes through areas of life and work & I really have a hard time with this characteristic.

If I'd have to share my progress from that point to now...I'd say that it has gotten BETTER, but I still have a lot to work on with it. I mean I'm not beaming with enthusiasm or anything, but have started to accept the IMPORTANCE of some tasks...more than what I once did.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! He'll show you WHERE he needs you to serve & when He needs you to, also. God Bless!