I feel like there is a line in this chapter that I need to continually read over & OVER again...for the rest of my life! "Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you....We become whatever we are committed to." -Pastor Warren
We all have commitments: our marriages, our families, our careers, our friendships, our church...
When I was working as a marketing liaison for the skilled nursing facility I learned something....& (no doubt) The Holy Spirit was teaching me....& all the people I came in contact with. I took the job for a couple reasons...one was money. I was SO concerned about having enough $$$ to support my family like I was able to with my previous job. The other was that I'd be able to help people on a level that was SO important to them & help them find solutions. Well....mind you...INTERNALLY I wanted to do the same thing, using my auctioneer license....make enough $$ to help create a good life for my family & HELP PEOPLE on a level that they REALLY needed help with. So I went on for almost a year working as a marketing liaison, going into hospitals, talking to patients & families will all kinds of different needs, diagnosis, backgrounds, financial issues, etc. I talked to doctors, floor nurses, case managers, specialists, hospice managers, home health marketers, administrators, social workers, gatekeepers...
So what did I learn (that applies to this chapter)? I learned that although...I was staying bUsY & I was TRYING to help EVERY patient or family I came in contact with....I couldn't....at least not the way I thought someone in my position would be able to. I also learned as I was getting HOUNDED for not having a 144 page market analysis done (which I was required to do BEFORE OR AFTER my 8-5:30 job & before & after my hour long commute each way) & not "staying on top" of 2 of my BOSSES... that what the company was asking me to do....was REALLY just BuSy work too & wasn't ACCOMPLISHING anything....for anybody really. It also made me see that this money that I was making was coming with a HEAVY price on my part. I was accomplishing one goal....having enough $$$ to provide for my family, but it was SO UNHEALTHY...for everything important to me: my family, my friendships (although I picked up some pretty special ones along the way), myself & my health (physical, mental, & emotional), BUT most importantly MY GOD.
My ability, my drive, & my ENERGY of having the ability to call an auction, raise money for people, & run an auction were all DISCOVERED, GOD-GIVEN talents. STRAIGHT UP....the simple thought that came to me through INTENSE prayer was the CATALYST for the chanGE that you are witnessing....& I was abandoning it....to have enough $$$$ to support my family (what I thought...was enough money)... I think I called one auction the entire year I had that job. I was sitting there in this MISERABLE situation I put myself in, with other MISERABLE people (not all of them, but many) & PRAYING to GOD to give me some answers....when he already had.
When I say the journey we are walking with The Holy Trinity is intense...I mean it, BUT the REALLY intense parts...we usually do to ourselves... ALL I have to do is TRUST in GOD's PLAN. So...besides having to go to work everyday the TOUGHEST part of making the break was explaining to my husband what I felt like I needed to do, understanding & accepting how this choice would look to many PEOPLE, & preparing myself for the hard times, which include: being tight financially, going day to day or auction to auction not knowing how successful or unsuccessful they would be, my husband not understanding what I'm doing & what it takes & losing faith, the critics..., & the process of figuring out EXACTLY what I'm supposed to be doing & HOW to do it. BUT...I know it is a process. I know that what God has planned for me is BIGGER than ANY of my problems. I KNOW that my husband is walking his own spiritual journey & I am WELL familiar with the layers that are getting peeled back & the process that he has to work through to understand it. What is SO beautiful to me is that I can see his FAITH increasing as mine is increasing. It may not be quite as strong (in this area) as mine is, but he is right there with me...working more hours & leaving the house around 4AM most mornings. As I walk this walk there are things that I have to change & different opportunities that present themselves & things that I thought would work that don't, but I KNOW it is the RIGHT path.... I'm not so sure that some of the detours are right, but they all still lead back to the RIGHT path... My work as a marketing liaison was not the right path & I felt it, BUT NOTHING is wasted. The LIFE & SPIRITUAL experience I gained in that position are ALL given to God to bring him the glory & add to my tool bag.
In the MOMENT where I sat down & talked to my husband & told him what I was thinking & MOVED PAST all the FEAR & ANXIETY & DOUBT we BOTH became COMMITTED to following God's plan & not our own. I don't expect EVERYONE to "get it," but I'm glad he got it. I still have FEAR & I know he does too, but I NOW have a DEEPER fear of not DEVELOPING my PURPOSE - GIVEN to me by God.
Here are some lines that are REALLY important to me from this chapter:
"Spiritual growth is not automatic. It takes an intentional commitment. You must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing." (Note: PERSISTING is the tough part.)
"Behind everything you do is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude." (This line is SO important to me because I tend to downplay myself or extensions of myself. I also doubt myself...quite a bit. It is some layer that is DEEP. I'm aware of it, but don't know exactly how to shake it. I know that it is probably one of the devil's biggest defenses against me & he's PISSED that I even know about it. I should probably read this line every day too.)
"You repent whenever you change the way you think by adopting how God thinks - about yourself, sin, God, other people, life, your future, and everything else." (So here is the answer & DEFINITELY easier said than done.)
"The Bible says that selfish thinking is the source of sinful behaviour: 'Those who live following their sinful selves think only about things that their sinful selves want.' -Romans 8:5 (NCV) The second half of thinking like Jesus is to start thinking maturely, which focuses on others, not yourself." (Stop being selfish & think about others.)
"Point to Ponder: It's never too late to start growing."
Daily Bible Verse: "Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and is pleasing to him & is perfect." Romans 12:2B (TEV)
Daily Question: "What is one area where I need to stop thinking my way & start thinking God's way?"
From My Journal From the First Time of Reading: In everything really. The first thing that came to mind was my work/job/creative projects surrounding it.
It really is EVERY area. It AMAZES me on just how much I try to CONTROL on my own.
Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! TRUST him & he'll take the lead in EVERY avenue of your life. God Bless!
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