Delta Dawn

Ever since I was a little girl Delta Dawn was one of my go-to songs. I used to walk around with one of these little cassette players. There was a handful of cassettes that I would cycle through it & this was on one of the greatest hits cassettes. I had a few "secret" places as a kid that I would just sit, be by myself, & listen to music. This song is one that stuck with me.

As I got older, we became more involved with horses. We started out trail-riding & then we became pretty involved with cutting horses. Almost everyday we would ride. We wouldn't necessarily work them on cattle everyday (which means penning & sorting them). Many times my sister and I rode together, but when we didn't, I would walk circles cooling my horse down & sing a cycle of songs:
"Amazing Grace"
"Have You Ever" by Brandy
"Delta Dawn"
& SOMETIMES I'd add in "All God's Creatures Got a Place in the Choir"

As I've gotten older, these are still my go-tos that I still sing when I'm by myself & I just need to.

The last couple weeks have quite possibly been our busiest ever. It's hard to say for sure, because we stay pretty busy, BUT my mind & body were done. I had been going ALL day. It was one of those days that even in the "down time" I was tying up loose ends via text or email. I had been thinking about Mother's Day & Star Tests & Kylee's birthday & 1st Communion & Heath's Pre-K Graduation & year end parties & the online auctions & onsite auctions that are lining up & real estate closings & the feasts and fundraisers I'll need to be at & the proposals I need to be working on & when Kyle was working & who'd be able to watch the baby &........

HEAR ME when I say I. AM. NOT. COMPLAINING.  I am blessed. I'm working on how to manage it all. Adjusting to life with a newborn has....honestly...seemed easier this time around in some ways, while still adding new dynamics that we all have to learn to navigate. I am giving you a glimpse into my reality. Even though the reality is a blessing, it can still be quite overwhelming at times.

On this day let's say it was 9 o'clock at night. Kyle was working nights. We had gotten back from somewhere & I thought I had everyone settled & situated. Imagine a continuous motion of DOING all. day. long.....constant & I went to sit in the bedroom. Kylee was holding the itty bitty & she said "Hunter wants his Momma." (still in constant motion...) I just took my sweet, crying, cutie with me, sat on the bed, & tried to nurse him. That wasn't his jam....just NOT what he was wanting. So I just put the crying baby on my chest & as if it flowed out of me....started singing Delta Dawn.

It seemed like before I could get "Delta Dawn" out of my mouth, the baby calmed down & then I got choked up...LOL. It was like my soul & spirit had a meeting of the minds & Jesus happened. "...A peace that surpasses all understanding..."(Philippians 4:7) came over me...actually both of us.

It made me stop & reflect on that song, the lyrics, the singer, the story, the feeling that it gives me all the times in my life I've sang it....how appreciative I was of it, in that moment, when the combination of the song & the affect it has on me calmed my crying baby. In that moment I FELT the POWER of the connection. I can't put it into words that will do it justice. I can't say that the actual lyrics directly connect to anything in my life. I can't even say that I have spent a ton of time thinking about the fact that the song has stuck with me for decades. I can tell you, that when I sing that song...I experience a different kind of peace.

Everything is bigger than what we are able to comprehend in our flesh. I don't have the answer & I don't know the answers to all the whys? & hows? I just KNOW that, that song, to me - means more than the words, more than the rhythm & I don't have to know why or how. I just sat there, rocking my baby, grateful for it.....all of it. Every. single. thing. it meant to me in my life & anything and anyone that was a vehicle in bringing it to me: Tanya Tucker, the songwriter, the muse, the radio...

It also helped me realize HOW the gifts God blesses us with, touches others. In the 40+ years, since this song was written...think of the MILLIONS that it has touched...the generations....& it's just. one. song.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Don't take those nuggets in your life for granted; even something as simple as a song. You don't have to understand it. Just be thankful for it.

Day 36: "Made for a Mission"

Today we begin to learn about the 5th & FINAL purpose Pastor Rick Warren's Book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? discusses. We've learned A LOT so far...right? I mean...I look back on my journal entries, that I've been sharing with you guys, and see how I am thinking WAY differently from what I WAS thinking. Totally shows me MY growth.

I struGGLE finding the right words to drive this home for ya'll. I read the chapter again. I sat on it. I tried to recall some experiences of my own that HELP me to better understand a story Pastor Warren shares with us in this chapter...that is SO moving. I will share that story...it is lengthy & STRAIGHT from the book, but I want as many people to read it as possible....even my readers that may not go and get this book.

When I worked in nursing home sales, I officed with our MDS Coordinator & our Medical Records Coordinator. I became friends with both of these ladies & they have added to my life by sharing their experiences with me & us experiencing some together. One of those experiences was having a resident on our hall that was suffering from Dementia...among other things.

Every person I've encountered, suffers from Dementia differently. You will find some that slowly slide/progress into the disease. There are some that become happier/friendlier as the disease progresses...kind of...pleasantly unaware. Some become anxious or confused or timid...they regress. Then there are some that bitterly & angrily hold on to ALL they can as long as they can.

As I sit here & type this...it just AMAZES me at how we will CONTINUE to TEACH each other...until our final breath...and, by God's will, might be able to go on teaching people even longer.

This resident would scream different, random things all day long....most of the time. Sometimes they would holler for HELP. The 3 of us that shared an office & the other nurses, aids, & staff that were on duty, would take turns checking in with them. When you would go in...you NEVER know where the conversation was going. I can tell you that mine have ranged from conversations about their stuffed animal kitty to real life cats they used to have to our therapy cat to how their house was designed to them being the boss to blood-curdling screams & rants telling you how worthless & ugly you were (cuss words included...all of them). I had conversations with this person that could be about kitty cats one minute & then have them throw me the MOST hateful stare I have EVER gotten.

I share this with you because, you could see glimpses of their personality when you talked to them & I could see how hard they was clinging to whatever it was they still had. You could tell by the conversations what made them the happiest in their life, what made them feel the most secure, and ALL the insecurities they had throughout their life. It can show us what the things are we hang on to the longest.

Well...Now I will SHARE Pastor Warren's story with you. It is called "One More For Jesus"
"My father was a minister for over fifty years, serving mostly in small, rural churches. He was a simple preacher, but he was a man with a mission. His favorite activity was taking teams of volunteers overseas to build church buildings for small congregations. In his lifetime, Dad built over 150 churches around the world. In 1999, my father died of cancer. In the final week of his life the disease kept him awake in a semi-conscious state nearly twenty-four hours a day. As he dreamed, he would talk out loud about what he was dreaming. Sitting by his bedside, I learned a lot about my dad by just listening to his dreams. he relived one church building project after another. One night near the end, while my wife, my niece, and I were by his side, Dad suddenly became very active and tried to get out of bed. Of course, he was too weak, and my wife insisted he lay back down. But he persisted in trying to get out of bed, so my wife finally asked, 'Jimmy, what are you trying to do?' He replied, 'Got to save one more for Jesus! Got to save one more for Jesus! Got to save one more for Jesus!' As I sat by his bed with tears flowing down my cheeks, I bowed my head to thank God for my dad's faith. At that moment Dad reached out and placed his frail hand on my head and said, as if commissioning me, 'Save one more for Jesus! Save one more for Jesus!' I intend for that to be the theme of the rest of my life. I invite you to consider it as a focus for your life, too, because nothing will make a greater difference for eternity. If you want to be used by God, you must care about what God cares about; what he cares about most is the redemption of the people he made. He wants his lost children found! Nothing matters more to God; the Cross proves that. I pray that you will always be on the lookout to reach 'one more for Jesus' so that when you stand before God one day, you can say, 'Mission accomplished!'"

His father's life was given COMPLETELY to "bringing people to Jesus." Me reflecting on these two stories SHOWS me the importance of getting ourselves to Jesus first. WE have got to get there to bring other people to him. Not only that, but we have to get there while we can.

Another thing that STICKS OUT to me is : "one more." Probably the best SALES advice I EVER got were by two different gentleman. One is someone I knew ALL my life. I was selling raffle tickets as a little girl & I was afraid to ask people to buy them & this man said: "There's no need to be afraid. All they can do is tell you no. Then you can just go on to the next person. There is always 'one more' who will." The other was by a gentleman that was a regular at a restaurant I used to work at. He had retired from a career in sales & I believe I was just starting my first REAL job in sales. We were talking about cold-calling & he said: "When you've had a long day...even a bad day...& you didn't set very many appointments...BEFORE you wrap it up for the day...make 'one more' call."

Something that has just come to me.... Like I've told you before...MY VERSE right now is Mark 12:30. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all your soul & with all your mind & with all your strength." It's a process. It takes work to REALLY love with ALL of anything. As I sit here typing out my reflections & take-aways from past experiences, I recognize that the FIRST STEP is to love God with ALL your heart. Once you do that...it will BECOME part of your SOUL. I believe our LONGEST & TOUGHEST battle will be to love with ALL our mind....it's no easy task to rid your mind of the bad & negativity in our world & our reactions to it.... & THEN...one day...when it seems like we have no STRENGTH left...we will MUSTER up ALL WE'VE GOT to give it all to Him.

What I've shared today doesn't even begin to tell you EVERYTHING this chapter holds. Here are some other important lines from the chapter:

"God wants you to have both a ministry in the Body of Christ and a mission in the world. Your ministry is your service to believers, and your mission is your service to unbelievers."

"Being a Christian includes being sent into the world as a representative of Jesus Christ."

"In the Great Commission Jesus said, 'Go to the people of all nations and make them my disciples. Baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to do everything I have told you.' This commission was given to every follower of Jesus, not to pastors and missionaries alone. This is your commission from Jesus, and it is not optional. These words of Jesus are not the Great Suggestion. If you are a part of God's family, your mission is mandatory. To ignore it would be disobedience."

"You are the only Christian some people will ever know, and your mission is to share Jesus with them."

"There are people on this planet whom only you will be able to reach,  because of where you live and what God has made you to be."

"What we do know for sure is this: Jesus will not return until everyone God wants to hear the Good News has heard it. Jesus said, 'The Good News about God's kingdom will be preached in all the world, to every nation. Then the end will come.'"

"You hand God a blank sheet with your name signed at the bottom and tell him to fill in the details."

"Jesus has promised, '[God] will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.'"

Here's the Daily Stuff:

"Point to Ponder: I was made for a mission."

Daily Bible Verse: "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:19 (NIV)

Daily Question: "What fears have kept me from fulfilling the mission God made me to accomplish? What keeps me from telling others the Good News?"

From My Journal: I feel like I am moving forward with His mission. Sometimes I think the things that stop me are: finding the right time, place, and/or way to do it, sometimes peoples perception, timing, over thinking it, inconvenience, fear of being judged, method and timing of delivery for the message, projected acceptance of the message, being overwhelmed by it.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Go get you that "one more" until you can't "one more" anymore.

Day 4: "Made To Last Forever."

Welcome Back!! For NEW readers this is the book that we are discussing & we will for the next 38 days.

I know yesterday was a humdinger. I mean...it got the brain muscle workin'. There will be days in this book that MIGHT mentally drain you. He usually goes easier on you the next day or so after that :).

Day 4: "Made To Last Forever"

"Point to Ponder: There is more to life than just here & now."

Daily Verse: "This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will love forever." 1 John 2:17 (NLT)

Daily Question: "Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?"

From my journal the first day of reading:

Stop: Worrying, waiting, being guarded, over-analyzing

Start: Moving forward with the things that God has placed in my heart & forgive people & forgive myself.

This is my FAVORITE part of this chapter & YES...I'm going to type the whole thing out: "Life on earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production. You will spend far more time on the other side of death - in eternity - than you will here. Earth is the staging area, the preschool, the tryout for you life in eternity. It is the practice workout before the actual game; the warm-up lap before the race begins. This life is preparation for the next."

I am Catholic & I went to to a mission about a year and a half ago that talked about purgatory. At the time it was somewhat fascinating to me & I was trying to wrap my head around it. I converted from Lutheran when I married my husband, so I never really KNEW what purgatory was all about. What if purgatory is the bundle of layers our souls travel to...to get to Heaven? I think about all of us & how it just seems IMPOSSIBLE for us to FULLY understand all there is to understand about how & why & when things happen. What about the MOSTLY life-long atheist that receives GOD on his deathbed? I'm thinkin' he's not goin' straight to Heaven with the saints, BUT I think God will save him & his soul will have to go the course of whatever journey God has in store for him; to reveal what needs to be revealed, to give him the opportunity to KNOW & LEARN & DEVELOP a relationship with Jesus Christ. Just like the priest said at that mission: "There is gonna be a lot of disappointed Christians, if we all think we are going straight to Heaven." It takes MORE than going to church every SUNDAY, & MORE than living a GOOD life by the accounts of society.

Remember: The two questions God is likely to ask: "What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ?" & "What did you do with what I gave you?" Are you bringing others to Jesus? Are you bringing yourself to Jesus?

I can say that this chapter has made me look at EVERYTHING differently...in a good way. I've gotten a lot better at not sweatin' the small stuff & being DIRECT about the big stuff & YES...I believe there is MUCH, MUCH, MUCH more past this life. I don't need to KNOW what exactly. I find PEACE knowing that there is!

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus & with all of us too!! Thanks to ALL that have participated in discussion thus far!!