The Creative Cure

There is something about a change in scenery; something about showing up to create and being open to let The Holy Spirit, and your gift of creativity from God, lead you.....

Over the years, I have really made a conscience effort to get to know myself better. Instead of questioning my differences (because I sure feel like I have them); I have learned to lean into them and explore them. 

At one point in my life, when my anxiety was at an all-time high, I discovered that CREATING things was like fun and relaxing therapy. I do mean therapy. I felt SO MUCH BETTER emotionally, physically, spiritually. I was renewed....relieved from the burden of stress, and many times was able to look at situations differently - with a new lens.....or maybe a clean and refreshed lens :). 

I knew the benefit because I had taken some random paint classes, took friends and crew members to just go paint. However, when I REALLY understood and felt the long-term benefit was when a friend had a cute little DIY shop and boutique. If you know me, you know I live a busy life. I thrive in it, but I can get myself to a place where I JUST KEEP GOING. I learned to make it a habit to go do something quarterly AT LEAST. Sometimes I would frequent it more. Sometimes I would go alone. 

Life started taking me in a completely different direction geographically and she closed the shop and a new business is in there now. I've had to find other creative ways, but I have not been near as consistent with it. 

Well, this week I FELT the need to CReaTe. I'm on the cusp of a pivot that I have thought about and prayed about and second-guessed myself and prayed some more......cried a few times, felt completely lost/unsure/self-conscious, been tested in ways I saw coming and ways I didn't... AND now....through faith, prayer, and this journey God has taken me on - to determine what I really want. I am talking about the ACTUAL DESIRES of my heart. NOT....what it "should" be. NOT.....what is the typical approach to many people in my same field. NOT....what others think I "should do" or "could do" or "need to do.: I'm talking about what I want to do with my one precious life. Now that there are some CLEAR boundaries on this path and I'm not wandering in the wilderness, the enemy has really come at me. 

For me, the way I know the enemy is meddling is I experience a variety of events and situations that burden me, waste my time, or delay my work. The enemy exploits the weaknesses in me. He exploits the weaknesses in those close to me. Here are some of my examples: insomnia, caffine intake, decisions of family members that end up effecting me somehow, judgement of my weaknesses from others, surprise change in plans or schedule. There are times I feel the nudge, whoa, stop, slow downs of The Holy Spirit and then there are the deliberate hurdles the enemy uses.....that are purely to steal, kill, or destroy plans for God's kingdom work. 

As I reflect this evening, it is not surprising. It is hard to see it, in the thick of things, but: pausing, resting, and reflecting, and finding an opportunity to create helps you to see things differently. I went to my sister's tent at the Antique Show. She has her hat bar set up. (It is called Pink Poodle Patches.) She is in that first lot after the elementary school in Round Top and is set up under some big oak trees, wrapped in lights. I sat there for several hours. Our kids hung out, my oldest worked, and I made two caps for football games and a new bag to keep my religious ed books in for Wednesday's class.  I came home more refreshed and relieved than when I got there. I even got to help a few shoppers design and create and think. During this moment of creativity I realized a few things. There were moments (one in particular) that I allowed the enemy to get the best of me. I let his antics effect me TOO MUCH. There were other moments where he bested me, but through God's wisdom, I was able to recognize  and redeem those moments to some degree. I also remember that this is exactly why I would hard-schedule these creative opportunities AT LEAST once a quarter. It is solid for my mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional health. 

The other thing that I always find SO COOL about cReAtivIty is how God shares it with all of us and we share it with each other. Imagine all the JOY it must bring Him. He is SO good. He loves us SO much. I pray that everyone makes, even the smallest effort, to get to know our Maker. I'm SO grateful for His reminders, even if I have to work myself up in a tizzy to see them. 

These verses resonate with me in this moment: 

Exodus 31:3-6

Ephesians 2:10

Isaiah 43:19

1Peter 4:10-11

My Melissa

So, we lost one of the sweetest souls I may have ever known. When I go, I can only pray that I made people feel the way she has made me, and I know MANY, others feel.

Melissa Wickel was a gem. Everything about her was good. I will miss her dearly, as our entire community will.

As I sat down to reflect on why the grief & shock overtook me when I found out she passed, like it did; all that came to mind was how she really made me feel like somebody. There was this quiet encouragement she gave me.

I recall one of my very first auction adventures : "The Wandering Auctioneer." I had this idea to go from field to field & tent to tent at the Round Top Warrenton Antiques Show as a grassroots PR campaign for Buck Up Auctions. I thought how cool would it be to pull a wagon & a speaker & auction off items to the public that was donated by participating vendors & the money would go to a charity of the donors choice. It would allow people to experience the FUN of an auction, draw attention to the vendor, & raise money for an organization that needed it.

That was the original idea, which transformed into something different where, at both Zapp Hall & Chelsea's Meadow, we raised money for 2 different women battling breast cancer. Almost all the vendors on each field participated.

The original idea could've been a 2 man show + the vendor & the bidders. The new idea required well...a lot more people. I had not planned for that, but I agreed to take a stab at it anyways.

So there I sat making plans & trying to pull things together in less than 7 days time. I was blessed & still am, to have encouragers in my life. At that time, I really had a handful that I thought MIGHT have the ability & the DESIRE to really help me with this...for free. I called Melissa & I remember feeling like I was #1 inconveniencing her & #2 was asking her to do something that was really going to be work, on (likely) her day off. I know I went through the WHOLE spiel with her, thinking I had talked her right into a "No" & she said YES! I was SO grateful, because I had bit off more than I could chew alone & needed the help.

Melissa SO encouraged me when I first got started, as an auctioneer. She was still encouraging me a year ago. She would send me things & ideas that I never saw myself doing & she knew it would get my wheels turning.

She passed my name on to someone in her Bluebonnet family that was organizing a benefit for Mrs. Judy Mikeska, who was also battling cancer. The friends & fellowship & faith & community that filled that room is something I hope I never ever forget. Melissa was all of that. She was a friend to EVERYONE that crossed her path. She would fellowship & bring people together. She was the one keeping her classmates together & having a presence at local fundraising events, She had faith...man, she had faith....faith in people, faith in God, faith in goodness & kindness, faith in the grand design. Lastly, but not least, she was an essential part in every community she was a part of: work, alma mater, family, friends, church, & organizations she believed in.

Yeah...I'm really going to miss her. I believe that God blesses us with the people in our lives for a reason. We each could have been born or landed somewhere totally different than where we are. I am a better person for knowing her & I know she meant A LOT to A LOT of people.

I just felt like sharing My Melissa. What Melissa meant to me in my life & share my thankfulness for her life & the impressions she has left me with.

My Melissa is kind & good & full of faith. She is special & blessed & a blessing. She is a friend & a role model & dependable. She sees good in people. She sees more in people than they see in themselves. She is an encourager in just the right ways. She is someone, that thru her passing, has made me DESIRE to slow down & appreciate people & spend time with them...to take the time, to make the time, for people.

Bible verses that make me think of Melissa:

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

(This next one came to mind several times, as I've been typing this blog. In my flesh it would not be one I'd include, but it belongs here.)

"But he gives us more grace. Therefore it says: 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you...." James 4:6-8

Fly high my friend & Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! I can only imagine the work he has for you in Heaven!