He Fled Away Naked....

 Mark 14:51-52 is a verse I've been pondering for years. The Holy Spirit highlighted it to me as I was reading through the Bible, cover to cover, the first time around. I like to understand things, but I could never quite grasp "WHY" The Holy Spirit led me there, led me to research it numerous times in different ways, led me to examine my life, led me to discuss it with other believers. Yet...the ONLY thing that was clear is He wanted me aware of it. 

The verse reads: "A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving the garment behind." Mark 14:51-52 (NIV) 

Monday, I went for a walk on our place. My life finds me in an interesting place. A place, where I find myself yielding or trying to yield (both happen) to The Holy Spirit. Are there overwhelming things in my life? Yes. Has He blessed me with the MOST beautiful blessings to navigate challenges with, for and about? You bet! AND....some incredible gifts I am grateful to have. I realized SO MUCH on that walk. He has equipped me for ALL The Holy Spirit has shown me. Yes, thinking about it overwhelms me. There really isn't a logical timeline.....at all really, yet it is happening. There is no control I really have, if I'm to be obedient....even though it has taken me a while in some regards. I had so many moments of wrestling in this/these life transitions I am experiencing. Last week, I reflected on how I have reached a place that is familiar to me. I have thought, prayed, figured, researched, worked myself into states of frustration and agitation, until I am called to YIELD. Then, when I yield I look around. Almost always, when I get to the place where I yield, a blessing of knowledge, awareness, a piece of God's wisdom is revealed to me. 

I wish I could tell you how to get to that place. At times, I wish I could skip the wrestling part. If I understand, I'll move much quicker. But He's been developing a layer of my faith, which I want more than the satisfaction of knowing and acting without FULLY understanding. 

Well....on this walk, The Holy Spirit took me on a journey that was spurred with the Bible verse and quote in my planner for the day. Then it led me down other places, and before you know it I was having a conversation with Chat GPT about Biblical timelines, detailed information about John Mark (the author of The Book of Mark), his life, the life of other Biblical figures and SO much more. 

God blessed me with divine wisdom. I don't need anyone to agree with me, argue it with me, or anything of the sort. I've been carrying this Biblical fact with me long enough to know that it was written for a time such as this, in my life. I think this information I uncovered is important. It was important to me. 

Before sharing the revelation, I want to share the moment I "knew" it was divine wisdom. As I was reading the Chat GPT response regarding the age of John Mark (Mark) in comparison to Matthew; tears just rolled from my eyes. There is NOTHING sad or completely earth-shattering about that fact, but I believe without a shadow of a doubt, that I felt that truth in MY spirit, even if I didn't fully grasp it yet in my flesh. 

Now for all the lessons and bread crumbs that I experienced before getting to this moment....

Up until this moment...this day... I lacked so much knowledge about John Mark and lacked the desire to understand. I was looking at all the ways that verse tied back to me, not him. I looked for God's message to me...the significance of the words, of the book, of how it mattered in my life in all the moments it was brought to my attention. This time, I turned my focus to the author. It took a few breadcrumbs and experiences to get there, and honestly, I can't say that there is a way to convey or map these lessons to the ultimate outcome, but they led me there and they were lessons that I REALLY needed for a variety of things going on in life. 

I start out on my walk. I had realized, a few days earlier, that my medicine dosage had accidentally been off, and my emotions and anxiety were starting to level out again. I remember starting my conversation with God, and thinking about how we must be SO hard to work with, yet He still chooses to. I remember being upset in my flesh, with how it derailed me. I was feeling like I lost ground. Yet, somehow in that moment, I accepted that He decided to continue to encourage me - no matter the weakness of my flesh. I don't know how to explain this release...submission....acceptance of His grace, but it happened with a grateful heart. This is when the research began. 

At this point is was light, curious research. The Holy Spirit had brought Mark 14:51-52 back to the forefront of my mind. I have walked all of the easy paths on our property, so I've started exploring some of the cow trails that are a little less traveled. I had music playing...Lauren Daigle and as I left the more traveled path to the less traveled path, I had focused on dodging spider webs. I get to the other side, where there was a clearing and realized I lost my phone somewhere along the way. I remember thinking...."Man! my phone didn't record all of those steps." Then, I made my way back to my phone, but I hit SO many spider webs on the way back and I decided I didn't want to go back that way.....although I had a gentle tug, so I knew how many steps I had actually walked. I felt nudged to go another direction. 

As I was standing there, pondering the decision of what way to go; The Holy Spirit helped me to reflect that.....not everything gets recorded. That does not mean it didn't happen, because clearly....it just happened....even though I had no record of it. Okay.... :). Then I felt led to walk a little closer to the tank (pond) than I normally do. I had my glasses on my forehead, so my peripheral vision was blurry. As I was walking by....I saw something large and reddish-gray. At first, I thought it was a dead cow. I got a little closer and realized that it was a mound of dirt under a tree that was growing in the tank. We hadn't gotten rain in a while and the pond was low enough to expose dirt, that was typically under water. 

I pull out my phone and ask Chat GPT why some dirt would have a red ring around it.....explained all the conditions, etc. As I was reading the scientific reason some of the dirt on the same mound would appear red versus gray, understanding that the oxygen hitting the iron in the ground quicker than normal for that area produces that red ring......almost simultaneously I get "I'm always here. Not everything is going to be recorded and everything is not going to be visible to the human eye. That does not mean that I am not there. I will be seen when I need to be seen....when the environment is right." I smile as I type this. I needed this encouragement and reassurance that I can't mess up His timing. 

These are the gently moments where I am left in awe of God's gentleness and GREATNESS. After this moment, on the way back, is when the dominoes started falling. One question led to another question and it just kept going. I don't know how I got back to  "A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment...." again, but I did. In my research I was reminded of yet another verse that has always stuck out to me and how it is ONLY found in the Book of Mark: "As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed." Mark 16:5 This had COMPLETELY engaged my mind. 

I'm thinking: Both of these accounts are ONLY found in The Book of Mark. What if.........(insert mind blown emoji here). Then, I zoned in on who is Mark? He was NOT one of Jesus's 12 disciples ----- which was an assumption I think many of us make. His full name is John Mark. He was the apprentice to Peter, which is one of the original 12 disciples. The Book of Mark is thought to be the account of Peter, written by the hand of John Mark. John Mark was the son of Mary, and part of a well-off Jewish family in Jerusalem that hosted many church gatherings in the beginning of Jesus's ministry. Based on various timelines, at the time of Jesus's death, John Mark would have been in his late teens or early 20s. This fact, coupled with, him being part of a well-off family.....he could have very much been: "A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment"  AND "a young man dressed in a white robe." It would have ONLY been in The Book of Mark, because it was Mark's direct testimony - marked with humility (similar to how John is in his account - referring to himself as "the one Jesus loves" instead of mentioning himself directly.)

I go further.....asking for an account of the timelines in the order in which the books were written. (Insert another mind blown emoji here.) The Book of Mark is thought to have been written BEFORE any of the other accounts. Many scholars also think that both Matthew and Luke drew references FROM the Book of Mark. I would gather, that John also adopted a similar writing style. I even asked WHY Matthew was placed before Mark. When the Bible was being put together, scholars believed that The Book of Matthew, gave a more full and detailed account of the Gospel story, thus coming to an agreement that it would give readers a more FULL context. My tears started flowing around this time. I take that as a sign of divine wisdom. 

Then....I wanted a better understanding of why John Mark would find himself in this space. The space of being a YOUNG,  person OUTSIDE the inner circle, witness to Jesus Christ, who - ULTIMATELY, is the first author of the account of Jesus Christ.

Just as a young man having access to linen cloth was likely due to the family's wealth, so is his ability to scribe FOR Peter. Wealthy Jewish families would have made it a priority to educate the young men in their family in 2 to 3 languages. As a teenage/young man who had witnessed and experienced the activity of Jesus and being captured in the garden....you best believe that he likely wanted to WITNESS Jesus's words. Would He ACTUALLY rise from the dead, when He said he would? Why would the women NOT tell anyone? Well....envision that the son of Mary, the wealthy Jewish woman hosting many of the gatherings was the first person found and Jesus was no where to be found. That leads to a host of potential: "uh-ohs," "what do we dos," and "maybe silence is betters." Yet, The Holy Spirit leads me deeper. In my research, I was reminded of "THE REASON" Paul and Barnabas split from each other, when in ministry together. 

The REASON for the split was JOHN MARK. This scripture never really sat well with me. It felt.....unfinished or incomplete. This is the scripture I am referencing: "And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, 'Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.' Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord." Acts 15:36-40   It leaves a picture of Paul being "right" and John Mark being someone that abandoned a ministry, which I do not believe is the full story. 

One of the wonderful things about scripture, is as you read, you get to know these Biblical characters and get a feel for their personalities and see factors that help them in their decision-making. I remember REALLY being drawn to Barnabas. I think this is why I didn't like the picture this scripture painted. It is Paul's truth, but not the full context (I believe). At the time, I did not know that Barnabas and John Mark were cousins. Barnabas would have been a better judge of John Mark's heart. Bigger than this though....and nothing that can be confirmed nor denied. I believe that John Mark, whether documented or not MAY have realized (or had a divine encounter) that his gifts would not be best used in ministry with Paul. Paul was educated. He had been a Pharisee. He was COMPLETELY entrenched in the other side of the coin and preaching from a place of experience to those that already believed, that John Mark would not be able to in the same way. Paul's message was reinforcing believers and churches and continuous encouragement. John Mark's gifts allowed him to reach people that were totally unfamiliar. Paul and John Mark's perspectives came from different directions. This is important because John Mark would have been able to write from a firm understanding of Jewish customs and had the education to translate this into a language that the Romans would understand. In regards to the spreading of information, Rome was THE hub of information. As The Holy Spirit moved all things together to create the best circumstances to spread the Gospel: Paul was able to encourage and share, while imprisoned in Rome, with information being sent out (and possibly penned by John Mark) from Rome to other parts of the ancient world. Him leaving Paul and Barnabas years prior, allowed us to see the documented reconciliation IN Rome AND allowed John Mark to pen the very first Gospel account to then be dispersed from Rome, in a way that anyone reading it could understand. 

What a blessing. What an understanding God has blessed me with. How great to have such a deeper understanding of Mark, his significance....his struggles....his character.....an understanding that has helped me to understand the other disciples differently. What a blessed reminder that He is always with us and while all the details may not be recorded, it does not negate His presence and His knowing. (This was reinforced to me by another God wink, the week before.) This experience was all these things, plus this gentle nudge to move forward. 

Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! Yield, observe, be present. Rest in the humility like John Mark. Sit in His truth without having to be seen, known, and measured by anyone, but The Holy Trinity. He knows that we will come to the end of ourselves and our abilities.....flee away naked....yield to The Holy Spirit and NEED Him. Allow Him to do things only He can do. We have to LET HIM work in our lives. 

Fasting and Rhythm

 12/27/14 - I have recently finished fasting from ALL liquid. except water. It originally started out as a 40-day fast & turned into a 47-day fast. I had made a decision to start reading The Bible daily & I started by reading from The Golden Book Children's Bible. The majority of this Bible is Old Testament. Even though it is a Children's Bible, it goes into quite a bit of detail & still took some research to really try and understand some of the messages. After I would read an Old Testament story...I would randomly open my New Testament Bible & read whatever story it took me to. A few days into doing this.... "40 days" kept popping up & I just felt led to start my fast.

I learned A LOT from this fast, this Bible time, & I KNOW that I strengthened my relationship with God. The lesson I want to share with you is that 7 days into this fast, I was at an auction. It was a pretty big success (for several reasons) & a very close family friend asked me if they could buy me a beer. I politely declined twice. As they persisted the third time, I told them I really didn't need one, but still allowed them to buy me a beer and drank it. I came home & had my Bible time & dinner as I just sat there and prayed & talked to God about it. I asked for forgiveness, but the whole time...felt an immense amount of joy & peace & thankfulness....for how the auction turned out for everyone involved. I remember thinking how I would have normally been MUCH harder on myself about caving, but....THANKS BE TO GOD....the JOY won out.

Fast forward to Day 40. We were at our friends' house in South Texas. The night before they wanted us all to have a glass of eggnog & I politely declined...kindly passing it off as being tired (which I was), but not sharing WHY I didn't want any. The next day, all us girls went to town shopping & we talked about all kinds of Bible things & my fast included, because I felt comfortable sharing with her. That night...her husband asked me if I wanted eggnog 3 times. I awkwardly turned him down & the third time he poured me a glass. I can tell you that, if I hadn't told my friend earlier in the day & had her support, I am almost positive I would have buckled....on DAY 40. I had mixed emotions about that. Really disappointed that I didn't know how to stand firm, with someone I feel pretty comfortable around....or how to share WHY I was doing it....or being WORRIED about how people would perceive it...or not knowing how to explain it.

So I went to the room we were staying in, started praying & talked to God about the whole thing & brought up the 7th day beer & asked God to just show me if he wanted me to fast 7 more days, or if it should be over. There were two things that popped out to me in my reading for that day. I started reading about Jesus's arrest. The first lesson was about Peter denying Jesus 3 times before the cock crowed. What resonated with me was the number 3 & how bitter he was towards himself. I also read where Pontius Pilate wanted to release Jesus & the third time/chance for him to release Him, he turned to the crowd & condemned Jesus because THE CROWD wanted him dead.  (Luke 22:54-23:25) I mean...it was like a reaction...a survival mechanism, but survival from what? I think it was created because of the worry of peoples' perceptions of them. It is so frustrating for me to read stories in The Bible (both Old and New Testaments) where people buckle so quickly from what they feel the need to do(which is The Holy Spirit leading them)...just to please people. Then I turned around and did the same thing. Needless to say.... I decided to go seven more days. Right now, I feel like holding firm a third time puts your feet on solid ground.

A few days later I read about Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan.  Jesus had fasted for 40 days and nights. First the devil said to him: "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread." Jesus answered him saying: "It is WRITTEN: Man shall not live by bread alone, buy by every word that comes out of the mouth of God." Then the devil says to  Jesus: "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written that He shall put his angels in charge of you to keep you safe, and they shall catch you in their hands, lest you strike your foot against a stone." Jesus said to him: "It is WRITTEN also: You shall not tempt the Lord your God," Then the devil took him to the top of a very big mountain & showed him all the kingdoms & said to Jesus: "All these things I will give you, if you will fall down & worship me." Then Jesus said: "Away, Satan. For it is WRITTEN: You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve." Then the devil LEFT him.....after the third test...& the angels came and ministered to Jesus. (Matthew Chapter 4). I also want to point out that even the Son of God uses Scripture when dealing with the devil.

A few days ago as I was cleaning & getting my house ready for Christmas company.....a note that I had typed on my phone back in May popped up. I don't really think anything is random anymore...it may seem like it, but EVERYTHING has purpose. It was a note I had typed during a T.D. Jakes sermon I had watched. I want to start out by saying that I (just a few days before I saw this note) did not agree with something that was posted on T.D. Jakes's social media site. As I read the comments and realized that A LOT of people also disagreed & some had also made the decision to quit following him all together....I remembered how important forgiveness is & not condemning. I thought about all the forgiveness I've been shown by God and people in my life & made the decision that I don't have to agree with everything everyone says, BUT I can take away & apply what I do agree with.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." -Proverbs 27:17

This sermon really gave me some structure in what to look for, as I started building my TEAM this year. When I say "TEAM," I think about the people in my corner & the people's corner that I WANT to be in.

"You need people with your rhythm. If they don't have your rhythm; they will find you abusive."

"Create a system that supports your rhythm."

"Develop what you need to sustain you."

"You can't explain to a turtle a giraffe decision." (Important to note that turtles can do things giraffes can't & vice versa.) I've also learned that turtles & giraffes can be in the same rhythm carrying out different tasks.

"There are people that feed you & people that deplete you."

"When you need to get fed....get fed. Then go out and feed others. Go back and get fed when you need it."

 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 speaks to this. It discusses how people are given different gifts, but they all work together as one....even though their skills and talents are different.

In many books throughout The Bible (Romans, 1 Corinthians, 1 Peter, Psalms...) we are reminded of the importance to take care of ourselves....mind, body, soul, & spirit. I think one of the key things to doing this (that I didn't really understand, or know how to go about getting there) is creating a support system that can suffice the UniQue needs that you have. The right people are put in our lives for that very purpose.

As this year winds down & I reflect back on my spiritual growth, my growth in relationships closest to me, & growth in my business - which is also part of my ministry & maybe my mission...I really am left in awe. I have to battle different things daily, like: people pleasing, fear of all kinds, judgement of myself and others, learning to forgive - even when I don't want to, letting go of control....amongst other things. However, I am MOST thankful this year, for my courage to leave the working for someone else world to enter the working for myself world. That decision has helped me to really focus on all the things that REALLY matter and allowed me the freedom to do it. I'm still figuring things out, but I will be for the rest of my life. I'm thankful for my awareness. Pay attention to things: talents, the people that fill you up, the people that deplete you, the people that need you, the gifts God is giving you...just be aware.

Buck Up Baby & ride with Jesus.

Moments of Obedience vs. Walking in Obedience

Me & the fam are spending a few days camping at our deer lease, mainly enjoying wide open spaces & each other’s company & I find myself pondering something I read in Isaiah yesterday.

“If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; but if you resist & rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” For the mouth of The Lord has spoken. Isaiah 1:19-20

The lessons I took away from this are:

1) If you resist, you are rebelling at the same time.

2) Doing something begrudgingly is NOT obedience.

3) Resisting and obedience are opposite of each other. They cannot simultaneously exist in you.

Learning to walk in obedience is much different than moments of obedience. The moments get us there. They strengthen our faith, as we learn to walk in obedience, but they are moments.

I do believe God rewards moments of obedience. He is helping us to understand the kind of blessings that can come, when we confirm our willingness to being obedient to His work and His plan.

Also, another thought I’ve had on the matter is: maybe what I consider blessings, are actually us living in union with God, how He has always intended. Then, when we revert back to our old ways, access to His peace leaves us and we are resting on what we know, and not God.

These thoughts have also had me pondering several people from testimonies in The Bible.

Paul walked in obedience after meeting Jesus on the road to Damascus.

Peter had moments of obedience when he was one of Jesus’s disciples, but his denial of Jesus shows, he was not walking in complete obedience to Jesus. Once Jesus was raised from the dead and visited His disciples is, likely, when Peter began walking in obedience for The Lord.

Elijah walked in obedience, sacrificing his own well-being for God and His plan.

Esther was called to more and reached a place where she made the choice, to walk in obedience with God.

Judas Iscariot may have had moments of obedience, but, surely, did not walk in obedience with God.

John the Baptist understood his assignment and walked in complete obedience to God’s plan.

Noah walked in obedience.

I am certain my experiences, thus far, are the results of moments of obedience. In many cases some major event occurred to encourage these individuals to walk in obedience with Jesus, and transition past moments of obedience.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Ponder with Him & talk it out. He wants us too!

Mental Health as Part of Our Every Day Dialogue

 The words "mental health" might sound like buzz words these days. It has been the topic of so many articles, discussions, & studies this past decade. I personally think it is a GREAT thing. 

People don't talk about what they don't understand. People don't address, what they don't know how to explain. People don't accept behaviors and actions that are not familiar to them. 

I am a person that, my ENTIRE life - self improvement has been my jam....sometimes in healthy ways and sometimes not. That being said, I'm aware that self improvement is not everyone's "jam :)." Thus, the blog post. 

I started this blog about a week ago...and, there was SO much information to share. I knew it was going to wind up being too much for one post. So I sat with it. I came back and read the first part and I think that first part is SO important. 

I'm going to delve in here. I do have a lot to say and a lot to share....and I'm willing to, but we can't really skate over the above, because it is skated over all the time. This has become such an important part of my life journey. It has led me to explore new things and not because of any other reason, besides the fact that I KNOW how important it is. I know we all wrestle with it somehow and I know, for some of us, paying attention to our own mental health has had a weird funky light shining on it. 

So, the first point I'd like to make and HOPE everyone holds onto it, is MENTAL HEALTH is for anyone that has a brain :). It's not JUST people that wrestle with certain things. It doesn't mean you are "unhealthy," if you talk about it. It is an essential part of our being: spiritually, physically, emotionally. 

So many of us wrestle with comparison, shame, perception of others (a blog all in itself) and then some of us, hold onto our own way of thinking so hard that we are not even willing to entertain someone else's perception because, again: "People don't talk about what they don't understand. People don't address, what they don't know how to explain. People don't accept behaviors and actions that are not familiar to them." These are mental health issues. 

Children and adults with ADHD - they go through an entirely different approach to coping, processing information, and struggles, AND they go to school with other kids that do go through the same experiences, yet have a totally different way of coping. Also, things important to some kids are not as important to kids with ADHD and vice versa. Neither can really explain WHY, and one is not better than the other, but they are different. These are mental health issues.

Overworking and belief that we have to "hustle" or "stay busy" or "be involved" in all the things is also a mental health issue. I just did a speech on the importance of making "Think Time" essential. You know, allowing your brain to REST. Listen, I was this person. I didn't listen until my body made me listen. Here are some facts for you. Since Covid, on average, people are clocking an additional 9.2 hours of UNPAID overtime (increasing by 2 hours a week from last year). If that is not enough: working more than 55 hours per week is found to increase the risk of stroke by 35% AND increase the risk of heart-related DEATHS by 17%. (You can find all the facts Here: Unpaid OT ---- Health Risks). So here.....mental health is affecting our physical health....and our mortality. (DATA SOURCES: Meg Walters - "Hustle Culture & Shame" - Made of Millions Blog, Adele Jackson-Gibson - "How to Identify Hustle Culture and What You Can Do to Break Away From It" - Good Housekeeping Health & Wellness Blog, World Health Organization "Long Working Hours Increasing Deaths from Heart Disease and Stroke: WHO, ILO")

Mental health NEEDS to become part of our dialogue. Everyone needs to lay their perceptions, shame, fear, and blind unknowingness to the side. Leaning into the discussion doesn't hurt anyone, but only helps. 

A new project is on my horizon. I'll be sure to share this with you all, as the project unfolds and my confidence builds :). It is one of the products that I deem essential, in my mental health journey. When you neglect something for so long, you really do have a lot of catching up to do. 

Guys....The most well known Biblical figures struggled with mental health issues, including Jesus. If you don't think you do, get over yourself. (I say that lovingly.) 

The enemy is real and we live in a fallen world. We are given free will, because our God does not want to force anything on us. Sins go back through the generations. Yes, this could be an entirely separate blog post, BUT we all must accept our lot and KNOW that God can use EVERYTHING for our good, if we invite Him in and let Him. The kid with ADHD will learn essential skills that bring glory to God that others will not. The person that survived an emotionally and mentally abusive situation, will have testimony that no one else has. The, now adult, that grew up and was affected by a broken marriage, will be able to help others by walking through to the other side of their experiences. We all must accept our lot AND know that we all have a lot to accept. Everyone has one, everyone's is different and we must Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! 

The Moments

I am an avid journaler. Currently, I have a daily devotional and a planner I am using created by Tim Tebow, with A.J. Gregory. 

This week, in my planner, Tim Tebow wrote this: "When you get tired or overwhelmed or uncertain, don't forget the moment God changed your life... Don't forget the moment He challenged you to join the fight."

I want to share my moments with you all. I have had several in my life. What I have learned along my life journey, is when you are obedient; He will challenge you again. I believe these moments may be different for everyone. My own moments have each been different. The way in which Tebow wrote the above quote made me think of one moment in particular, BUT to start...the very first challenge.     

The first time He challenged me was the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year of high school (14, almost 15 years old). I have always been a nerved up human, that thinks, and thinks, and over thinks so many things. The gest of this challenge came about while praying to Jesus. Jesus is the first member of The Holy Trinity that I identified with.  I was EARNESTLY praying. To date, I don't know that I can compare this prayer time with any others I have had. I had a mission and I needed Jesus's help. I prayed for HOURS. There were things that I did not understand. There were things I longed for. There were so many questions in my young adolescent head. Jesus and I sat there and we worked through EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. There was a determination in me and as I was praying (I now know), The Holy Spirit would bring biblical moments and stories to the forefront and I discussed those with Jesus to try and understand....to build up my courage....to find a clearing in the path. That summer....in my being....I went from a timid, shy, unheard, awkward, fearful person to a person that spoke my own truth....thought before I spoke or spoke intentionally KNOWING Jesus was right beside me, because I asked Him to be. I was confident, more brave, more willing to try new things....it was an ADVENTURE. It was the first moment I realized that I have to give The Holy Spirit TIME to work. I can't ask for it and not allow it to unfold in His time. 

The second time, that I recall, was when The Holy Spirit urged me to pick up the Bible a friend had gifted me, that has been sitting on the corner of my desk for 6 months. At this time in my life, I went to the Bible, but I didn't read it like I read it now. Through discussions with a friend, I had shared that I KNOW Jesus. She shared with me a little about her relationship with The Holy Trinity and how The Holy Spirit is SO important in her life. She was brought to tears. I remember us talking about how you can have a relationship with each member, but we have to ENGAGE....put the effort in (like any relationship) to build those bonds. At that time, The Holy Spirit was rad, but I did not feel ready to dive in. I did share that I wanted to know God better. God, at that time, was so BIG....so hard to try and grasp. I had been content just knowing, trusting, and believing. Yet, because I did not dig in, I had questions. This started out as such a gentle nudge, that evolved into this entire system WE had worked out. My goal was to read The Bible, cover to cover, and to get to know GOD along the way. I had a Children's Bible. What I did is I would start out reading Old Testament stories from the Children's Bible, because I found it easier to grasp. Then, I would go to The Bible from my friend, and read from The New Testament. I remember THE MOMENT I realized how directly I was communicating with God. I was reading in the New Testament: 1 Corinthians, Chapter 14. The words that I took offense to more directly..... is 1 Corinthians 14:34-35: "As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."

I will not go into deep detail, but I will say that I spoke out loud to God, asking Him to help me understand. As soon as I asked that, I laid my hands on The Bible, prayed specifically for direction to understand & God lead me to: Galatians 3:28 - "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

I have sporadic moments, where I feel that direct connection. I KNOW He sees me and uses His words to comfort me. Amazing...our God. He is all the things that are good. 

There are two other moments that come to mind. I can't tell you what I specifically said yes to, because I don't know. Interestingly enough, they both happened in very close proximity to each other in my house. Our home has a large den, then you walk through the kitchen, to get to the living room. The first of these two moments (3rd all-together), was a moment where I could feel His presence. It was right on the dividing line of our den and kitchen. I remember telling him Yes, I would follow Him. There were no specifics. His presence and His purpose of being there, the way He was there, was to get my answer. It reminds me of moments I had with previous employees, when we'd embark on a new adventure and I could not tell them what to expect, but I needed their commitment. 

The most recent time, is similar to the one above, but a little more intense. VERY close to the same location as the last, except that I felt led into the kitchen a little more. I can't recall what I was praying about. I can tell you I felt the need to kneel in that threshold between the den and the kitchen. I don't remember what I prayed, but I was praying earnestly and THIS TIME, I could feel...almost envision Jesus sitting there, wanting me to give Him an answer. Somehow, this time, I KNEW that I would still be loved the same if I said no. My awareness of my ability to say no was very apparent, this time. There was an intensity in the air....anticipation. I remember trying to grasp and understand (in my very limited knowledge, thinking about all the things going on in my world, at the time). I FELT the importance. I KNEW He needed me to choose. As I sat in thought and the anticipation and somehow KNOWING this could not be a lofty decision, yet I had all I needed in that moment to make it - I shared my decision....in the wordy, think-everything-out-loud way and when I said YES, the JOY of that moment was like nothing I had ever experienced. Even as I think about it now, I am in awe of it. The intensity of the decision, the thoroughness in being sure I understood as much as I could, the awareness of having a choice & being loved unconditionally - no matter which one I made, and still not fully understanding EXACTLY what I was saying yes to, but KNOWING WHO I was saying yes to. When I type about the joy...when I said yes, it was like I could FEEL the radiance of Jesus's joy. It felt like all of Heaven rejoiced! I experienced the joy, without knowing anything more about the YES, than what I have shared. I know that it was a BIG YES and that....I don't have to do anything special to carry it out....just do me, while loving Jesus. (He has been nurturing that into me also.)

As I am typing these, there is another I recall - and I do not remember, for certain, when it took place. I remember it, like it could have been a year ago, but it has to be closer to 10 years ago, because we haven't had the white couch in the den, in a VERY long time. It was EARLY Easter morning. For two weeks I had been frustrated because, I was wrestling with God about children suffering and childhood cancer and......tirelessly trying to wrap my head around it. The days leading up to Easter, I was just not a happy person. I felt guilt for not being as excited and grateful as I felt I should be. I remember FINALLY giving in to NOT KNOWING....me having that knowledge was NOT part of the plan God had for me and I found myself/felt like I had thrown myself on Jesus's lap and just cried. I remember.....so many things not lining up for me, BUT, the ONLY one that could take that burden from me....showed up when I was mad, sad, hurt, confused, ashamed, and COMFORTED me.....even though my actions leading up to that moment were not worthy of it. This was the moment when I learned that WE DON'T HAVE ALL THE FACTS and that I just have to TRUST and have FAITH. This may be when I found my FAITHBONE. 

Each one of those moments have been LIFE-CHANGinG & life-GIVING. In my walk I DO hold onto them. It is all the blessed moments of WISDOM God has given me on my journey. It helps me release things. It helps me stay focused. It reminds me of the rewards of perseverance and faith. It reminds me that I am capable of things, I would not and could not do on my own. It reminds me that I have a purpose, even if I haven't uncovered it. It reminds me HOW CLOSE God really is to us....how close Jesus is & what He cares about AND the AMAZING, perfect, UN-explainable POWER of The Holy Spirit. I truly LACK NOTHING and I feel that in my bones.....even when I get the wind knocked out of me. 

DON'T be afraid of the MOMENTS. Fear has stopped A LOT of great things. Don't let it stop you from having YOUR Jesus moment. The strange, the unchartered, the funny-feeling part of it all... is GOOD. Buck Up Baby! Relax into it & RIDE WITH JESUS!

Believers & Nonbelievers

On my way home yesterday evening, I had a little over an hour drive time and I found myself pondering how the Holy Spirit brings believers and nonbelievers together.

I took part in an education program that consisted of one week of intense, advanced industry education, over a three year period. This industry, is a male dominated industry and me and my roommate were blessed to spend two of those three years together.

We bonded. We identified with each other on so many levels, but one area where we were on opposite ends of the spectrum was our faith.

We opened up conversation about faith, when she saw me reading my Bible & journaling. Approximately a year before I met her I decided to work towards something that had been placed on my heart, which is reading the Bible cover to cover.

Her question to me was: “What makes you feel so strongly that God exists.” She shared that she was not a believer.

My answer was: “ There have been significant moments in my life that I KNOW could have only been turned around by the power of Jesus. It transcended human ability and understanding.”

At that point, I didn’t go into detail, but she thanked me for being able to openly talk about what both of us believe in & that, in all of her experiences with sharing her beliefs, she had felt condemned or judged.

I can say in all truth, that NOTHING she told me made me think of her any less, at all. In fact, I think it made our bond grow stronger and I believe we will always be each other‘s cheerleader in life. Wherever her beliefs are, I love her right where she’s at, just how she is. She is building a beautiful life for herself, attacking her dreams & I am SO proud of her.

God is slowly but surely teaching me to just walk and be obedient and be kind and to guard my heart and mind.

Buck up Baby and say YES to Jesus! Say YES to love! Say YES to fellowship! Say YES!

I believe that God loves all people and he loves all people so much that he sent Jesus for us all to have the opportunity to know Him without hindrance, without shame, & without the judgment of sin.

My Melissa

So, we lost one of the sweetest souls I may have ever known. When I go, I can only pray that I made people feel the way she has made me, and I know MANY, others feel.

Melissa Wickel was a gem. Everything about her was good. I will miss her dearly, as our entire community will.

As I sat down to reflect on why the grief & shock overtook me when I found out she passed, like it did; all that came to mind was how she really made me feel like somebody. There was this quiet encouragement she gave me.

I recall one of my very first auction adventures : "The Wandering Auctioneer." I had this idea to go from field to field & tent to tent at the Round Top Warrenton Antiques Show as a grassroots PR campaign for Buck Up Auctions. I thought how cool would it be to pull a wagon & a speaker & auction off items to the public that was donated by participating vendors & the money would go to a charity of the donors choice. It would allow people to experience the FUN of an auction, draw attention to the vendor, & raise money for an organization that needed it.

That was the original idea, which transformed into something different where, at both Zapp Hall & Chelsea's Meadow, we raised money for 2 different women battling breast cancer. Almost all the vendors on each field participated.

The original idea could've been a 2 man show + the vendor & the bidders. The new idea required well...a lot more people. I had not planned for that, but I agreed to take a stab at it anyways.

So there I sat making plans & trying to pull things together in less than 7 days time. I was blessed & still am, to have encouragers in my life. At that time, I really had a handful that I thought MIGHT have the ability & the DESIRE to really help me with this...for free. I called Melissa & I remember feeling like I was #1 inconveniencing her & #2 was asking her to do something that was really going to be work, on (likely) her day off. I know I went through the WHOLE spiel with her, thinking I had talked her right into a "No" & she said YES! I was SO grateful, because I had bit off more than I could chew alone & needed the help.

Melissa SO encouraged me when I first got started, as an auctioneer. She was still encouraging me a year ago. She would send me things & ideas that I never saw myself doing & she knew it would get my wheels turning.

She passed my name on to someone in her Bluebonnet family that was organizing a benefit for Mrs. Judy Mikeska, who was also battling cancer. The friends & fellowship & faith & community that filled that room is something I hope I never ever forget. Melissa was all of that. She was a friend to EVERYONE that crossed her path. She would fellowship & bring people together. She was the one keeping her classmates together & having a presence at local fundraising events, She had faith...man, she had faith....faith in people, faith in God, faith in goodness & kindness, faith in the grand design. Lastly, but not least, she was an essential part in every community she was a part of: work, alma mater, family, friends, church, & organizations she believed in.

Yeah...I'm really going to miss her. I believe that God blesses us with the people in our lives for a reason. We each could have been born or landed somewhere totally different than where we are. I am a better person for knowing her & I know she meant A LOT to A LOT of people.

I just felt like sharing My Melissa. What Melissa meant to me in my life & share my thankfulness for her life & the impressions she has left me with.

My Melissa is kind & good & full of faith. She is special & blessed & a blessing. She is a friend & a role model & dependable. She sees good in people. She sees more in people than they see in themselves. She is an encourager in just the right ways. She is someone, that thru her passing, has made me DESIRE to slow down & appreciate people & spend time with them...to take the time, to make the time, for people.

Bible verses that make me think of Melissa:

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

(This next one came to mind several times, as I've been typing this blog. In my flesh it would not be one I'd include, but it belongs here.)

"But he gives us more grace. Therefore it says: 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you...." James 4:6-8

Fly high my friend & Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! I can only imagine the work he has for you in Heaven!   

Rejoice! Lessons from my 2015 focus word...

A friend of mine introduced me, at the end of 2014, to having a focus word for the year. 2014 was the year that I really began to delve into scripture. By God's grace He took care of me, navigated me through the Bible to where I....well I could enjoy it....grasp it. It was a year of big change also & I was kind of trying to bring my JOY back, but at the same time knew that sometimes JOY would not be present. Reading through scripture the word REJOICE stuck out to me. What also stuck out to me, is that a lot of times the word REJOICE would show up in reference to struggle or hardship. Here are some examples:

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials." 1 Peter 1:6 (This book talks a lot about persecution & suffering & that we should expect  it in our earthly walk.)

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12 (This chapter in Romans starts talking about how mature Christians should try to live. To me it is dying to our fleshy self & carrying our cross where God is calling us, while on earth.)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3 (I am drawn to this book in the Bible. James encourages us to put our faith into action.)

Luke 1:26-38 doesn't use the word REJOICE in it, but I believe that is what Mary did. This passage is about the angel coming to Mary to tell her that she is going to give birth to Jesus. I encourage you to go read it & then put yourself in her shoes. I think "confusion" would be putting it mildly. She had questions & the answers she got, probably didn't make sense to her either. She sat in faith & hope, for what the angel was telling her.

SIDEBAR....JUST FOR A MOMENT: Several of my friends have shared their struGGLE of 2015 & how they are ready for a new year & new opportunity. When I was first reading those messages I thought.... I LOVED 2015. Lots of pretty cool things happened. And then I remembered...there were some REALLY tough things too. Maybe some of the toughest I've faced in at least 10 years....from a....well...just some of the toughest.

So to recap what the year 2015 taught me about the meaning of REJOICE.... (Life & the divine guidance of The Holy Trinity through scripture has shown me this.)

Sometimes it's about small victories. Sometimes it is about hardships that are just the beginning of a journey to a blessing that no one else could give you but God. Sometimes it is being so pissed off at the enemy that all you can do is REJOICE because you KNOW God will win. Yes...even in the midst of death & disease & perversion & terrorists & extremists...God will win. The fact that all God wants us to do is trust Him, love Him, love His people, submit to His will (which is better than ANYTHING we could dream up), & keep seeking Him....keep seeking peace - is reason to REJOICE!

There are people that face situations that make me cringe....make me sad...make me angry....disgust me... How can they rejoice?

Someone...somewhere on this earth has been touched by each and every person God created. We all have purpose. From the point of conception we are affecting someone & we keep affecting people the longer we are here....and more people. Others need what we have. We may not know who they are, what it is, & at times we may not even understand the affect someone has on us & vice versa, but The Holy Spirit is moving & working among us. God does not waste anything....not a thing.

REJOICE is a verb & after a year of meditating on it, I believe, it is a verb powered by our hope & faith. We have to choose to rejoice & we are able to rejoice in any situation & in any circumstance.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! It is not easy, but if you choose to, He will GIVE you MANY, MANY more reasons & fuel for REJOICING!

My focus word for 2016 is RELATIONSHIPS. I want to focus on developing the relationships God has blessed me with. My focus Bible verses will be: "I give you a new commandment: love one another; you must love one another just as I have loved you. It is by your love for one another, that everyone will recognize you as my disciples." - John 13:34-35

REJOICE!!

Good Morning!!! I really feel like SHARING some thoughts today. REJOICE is my focus word for the year. I came across it while reading scripture in the New Testament. I started Paul's Letter to the Philippians & the word REJOICE was EVERYWHERE!! So then I decided to read the entire letter, which is quite ENCOURAGING. It ALWAYS amazes me at how EXTREMELY relevant scripture is ALL THE TIME.

One of the things I've been praying specifically for, for the last year or so, is JOY. When I look back at my life, I feel like there were so many moments in my youth where I exuded JOY. I mean...I refer to myself often as bright-eyed, optimistic, & TRUSTING. Over the years I've felt elements of that JOY slowly seeping out of me. Not because I don't want to be JOYful, but because of some of the experiences I've had. TRUSTING...just to be let down. Optimistic for ChanGe....just to become aware that the unanswered optimism slowly sucked the zeal and motivation I once had from me. Anger & Frustration because I felt trapped & LIMITED by my PERCEIVED options and opportunities....

There's always been something about me though.... I mean I used to sit up & plague myself with wOrRy & get all worked-UP & in a FreNZy about so many things that didn't matter....but I'd always get to this MOMENT where I realized it didn't HAVE to be the way it was. I would then USUALLY get myself all TISSIED-Up again trying to FIGURE OUT what "that" was.

I've PRAYED the majority of my life & as I look back...I think of how my PRAYERS have evolved...how my relationship with The Holy Trinity has deepened....how I think about so many things now, with SO MUCH MORE PURPOSE than what I used to think about... How my PRIORITIES have TOTALLY swapped around.... and how I still become cOnfUsed, but at least now I'm confused about things that ACTUALLY matter & am able to REST from the worry because I know that I'm accepted just the way I am & that confusion isn't from God. It may not make other PEOPLE happy, but I'm gonna be okay & The Good Lord is still gonna take me where he wants to, as long as I continue to submit to that.

Over the last couple days I sat & talked in some mighty deep discussions about politics, the troubles of our youth, homosexuality, the medical industry & insurance & pharmaceutical companies, The Bible, ISIS, evil, war, our military men & women, the end times....
The truth is....being in kind of an open forum with more than 5 people in each setting....left me exhausted mentally...because the troubles can seem overwhelming...

Through ENCOURAGEMENT I'm trying to be more FOCUSED as I read in The Bible & as I read...I'm focusing on my FOCUS word this year, which is REJOICE.

What I find interesting is Paul was a prisoner when he wrote the Letter to the Philippians, yet REJOICE is what he continued to say, because he was REJOICING in the PROGRESS God was making...Paul accepted the MISSION of bringing more people to BELIEVE in CHRIST, so his JOY came from the forward motion of that mission...whether it be witnessing a group of people making progress because of The Spirit inside them or because his inprisionment was ENCOURAGING others to speak more boldly about Christ. As I reflect on it....it makes me think about all of our Christian brothers and sisters being killed because of their love of Christ. I remember looking at the face of one of the men to be executed on television & his expression had such RESOLVE... It struck me because it was a FIERCE look...not a look of weakness or fear...even though his time was drawing near & would not be able to PHYSICALLY carry anything out on this earth....but READY for whatever God had planned for him next....

A couple days ago...I read in Luke 8:26-39 about the man possessed by demons (many, which called themselves Legion). I've read this passage several times, but there are several things I took away from it this time. One thought I thought is....why did all these demons CHOOSE this man? Let me be clear that we all have demons we wrestle with...alcoholism, pride, depression......and there are SO many others....

Another thing I took away was the MERCY Jesus showed....EVEN TO THE DEMONS, that BEGGED him to "not cast them into the bottomless pit, but into the herd of pigs." The pigs later, burst out of the pen & all drowned....I'm sure there is LOTS of symbolism there & LOTS of things I'm not able to wrap my head around yet, BUT Jesus showed the demons mercy...

There's a lot of things in this world that REPULSE us as individuals. I do not understand WHY some people have the demons that they have. I'm so thankful that I don't have them, but we MUST be mindful & show MERCY...just like Jesus. We are carrying our crosses on this earthly walk and all of ours is UNIQUE. We aren't called to understand each other. We are called to LOVE each other.

When I reflected on the word REJOICE in this passage...I thought of the man that had just been FREED of the demons...how he sat at Jesus's feet & listened & loved Him. I thought of how BADLY he must have wanted to GO WITH JESUS.... I could almost feel the longing for him. Then I thought of how he must have felt when Jesus told him that he must stay and share with his family all that God had done for him. He just went & did it....REJOICING!! I learned in that moment....that even though we don't necessarily get to do what WE want, what God CALLS us to do will be much more rewarding.

When you know a little more about the entirety of the situations of some of these people in The Bible...you gain a better appreciation for the importance of what they do. This story took place in a land that worshiped other gods...the likelihood that those pigs were to be used as a sacrifice for other gods was HIGHLY likely. It's not so hard to then understand why the people that witnessed this asked Jesus to leave. They were SO confused & baffled & afraid & mixed up to SEE the power of the hand of God & to then try and wrap their heads around the way they had been worshiping. Thus...the importance of that, once, demon-filled man to STAY there & SHARE his salvation was of the UTMOST importance. It takes a little ember to catch fire and make a flame.

Then today I read about the birth of John the Baptist in Luke 1:57-80. I REFLECTED again on the word REJOICE & spent a little time thinking about Elizabeth & Zechariah. Both of them were older & without children, yet VERY MUCH loved God. Zechariah was a priest & both were descendants of David. When the Angel of the Lord told Zechariah that he they would have a child, to call him John, & that he would pave the way for Jesus, the Son of God...Zechariah DOUBTED & because of his doubt, became a MUTE. When Elizabeth had the baby many close friends and family came over to bless his circumcision & REJOICE with them for the BLESSINGS God had given them. When they asked what his name should be Elizabeth told them John....which surprised ALL of them. I can just imagine the chatter in that room. It was custom for the child to take on a name of the father or...at least a family member, but there was no one in their family named John. Then they turned to Zechariah, who asked for a tablet because he could not speak yet. He wrote the name John & his mouth was opened & his first words were REJOICING PRAISE TO GOD.

So let's think about this.... (PARENT'S: Think about this from as many perspectives as you can)... If I put myself in their shoes....I would first be astonished & in disbelief that I would become pregnant when we had been trying for years....then humbled when my husband spoke out of turn & was muted.... I think we'd definitely be paying attention. I would feel this overwhelming obligation & IMMENSE amount of importance in MY life & the life of my unborn child. I would be ENCOURAGED everyday by the promise that the life inside me holds. Once I would gave given birth...I would be in this OVERWHELMING AWE of the UN-explainable BLESSING...this UN-Explainable FAVOR...this UN-explainable IMPORTANCE that just happened.... ALL OF IT!: This beautiful MIRACLE of life, the KNOWING of how important his life will be BECAUSE of the promises already fulfilled to them, the MYSTERY between all of the things that led up to what they just WITNESSED...mind, body, soul, & spirit, this OVERWHELMING feeling that we explain as LOVE....because ALL of what is being felt is GOOD. I mean.....it's highly likely that we would be conFusEd as heck, BUT we would be REJOICING!!!! We couldn't make a choice not to....even if we tried....it would be AUTOMATIC....just like Elizabeth & Zechariah's response to the name of their child. I also just want to make note of how they BOTH agreed with each other on the name. The union of marriage is another MYSTERY, but a STRONG one when decisions are made and action is carried out by 2 & not just 1.

What I also took from this reading today is somehow humbling & empowering all at the same time. John was sent BEFORE Jesus to pave the way, to ready the minds, to condition the hearts of God's people. Jesus IS coming again my friends & he WANTS as many people to KNOW him....by THEIR choice...as possible. Just like John the Baptist....WE ARE CALLED TO LEAD PEOPLE TO JESUS! Not only are we called, but our children are called. After having the two discussions I've had this weekend I can say with conviction that MORE PEOPLE NEED TO BE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW JESUS! We live in a world where young people want something to hold on to...to give some sort of glimpse of meaning to all that they don't understand, yet they grow up in households where their parents don't know Jesus & they find evil make-believe characters that open a doorway to hate versus love. There is no set of criteria that makes you "worthy" to share the love of Christ. You are FULL, COMPLETE, & CAPABLE right now...if you believe that Jesus suffered & died for you, because HE LOVES YOU, UNDERSTANDS YOU, AND WANTS YOU in His Father's kingdom with Him. We don't have to know or understand WHY. It is part of that glorious, merciful MYSTERY that was GIVEN to us.

No matter how deep this may seem...there is a battle of good & evil going on right now that we are fighting in. Which side do you think you are on? We have to examine how we treat people....all people....the one's we agree with & the one's that we don't. The FOCUS has to start on you as an individual & your family. Our FOCUS can not be about how we can CHANGE or CONDEMN the things we don't like about other people. The FOCUS has to be on creATING an environment where those people can CHOOSE to change themselves. If everyone FOCUSED on FULFILLING their MINISTRY & MISSION that God has blessed each and every life with, versus FOCUSING on how other's need to change.....I think REAL progress would happen.

When Jesus called Matthew to follow him He was criticized because Matthew was a tax-collector. At that time tax collectors were frowned upon as the lowest of people & worst of most all the sinners. The Pharisees saw him eating at Matthew's house, with all the tax collectors & other "sinners" & it got them all in a tissy, When Jesus heard how the Pharisees questioned Him, here is what He had to say: "Healthy people do not need a doctor, but sick people do. Go and find out what this means: What I want is mercy, not sacrifice. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners." (Matthew 9:12-13)

I'm just sayin'.....some of those people that some of us tend to condemn & shun & turn our nose up at...are the very people that Jesus probably would have wanted to have lunch with.

OPERATION GET HEALTHY: Day 3

Yesterday was day 3 & my little boy was still sick.... He actually felt worse than he did the day before, which meant - he NEEDED to be loved on more.

When I started the Advocare 24-Day Challenge...I had EVERY intention of TOTALLY sticking to it...eating all the meals they listed in the plan....all the snacks...all the meals...all of it. Well...let's just say that when you have a little one that just doesn't feel good & you're waking up with him & you don't get very good sleep... Sleep becomes more important than food, or staying on your schedule, or any of that. I stayed on it to the very best of my ability.

I woke up to get my little girl to school, but my little boy woke up with me and just wanted to be held. I couldn't get his HIGH fever (103.8) to break, so I just held him & we both nodded back off... I finally sneaked away & let him sleep to have my Spark & my fiber drink, but by the time I finished those...Heath woke up and it was almost time for lunch, so then I had some greek yougurt for my snack and had a late lunch of whole grain organic spaghetti, 93/7 ground beef & a salad. All circumstances perfect...I wouldn't have had the same meal again for supper, but with a sick little one...it's just the way it was. I'm TOTALLY good with it. Lot's healthier than how I would have normally ate & enjoyed it just as much. Since I had more starch than what I would've liked to have...I skipped the snack between lunch and dinner & then wound up skipping the last one....because I had a little boy laying on me & I was exhausted. I didn't feel overly hungry though..... I've been talking to a couple of friends who have told me that they can feel a difference in their energy since starting. I can say that I don't feel that yet... MAINLY because I'm not getting enough sleep. It will come...I feel healthier for sure. I did have some cravings for some of the comfort foods I usually would have went for, but totally resisted and just went and cuddled with little man. Good news is his fever is GONE & he's back to himself.

Chapter 3 in The Daniel Plan talks all about FAITH & how that is the foundation for our success...not only in our health journey, but every journey, I can speak to this because I had a situation that COMPLETELY caused me to step out in FAITH & I'm thankful for that experience because I understand the potential rewards that come from it. Have any of you ever had the thought: "I just wish someone who KNOWS more than I do, would tell me what to do next." I reached that point in a FIERCE way at the end of 2013. I knew I was in a job that didn't have much to do with my God-given purpose...no matter which way I spun it. I also knew God wasn't going to waste the experience, but I had to get off that path. However, getting off that path looked SCARY. I'm talkin' pay cuts, people thinkin' I'm crazy, stepping out into LOTS of unknowns, puttin' lots of puzzles together - which means trial and error, criticism, a nervous husband, nervous family....TOTALLY steppin' off the path I'd been on (which lots of people can understand) onto a new one, which I didn't even totally understand, much less anyone else.... BUT I DID IT. I really don't know how to put it into words, but I wish I could. I'll just list out some of the ways it has changed my life: less fear, less nervousness, less worry, money doesn't control my life anymore, I have a deeper (& getting deeper every day) relationship with The Holy Trinity, self-esteem is way better, my husband's relationship with Christ is growing & so are my kids, I want to know MORE, I'm able to help people more, I know I'm capable of WAY more than I thought I was, I'm less fearful, I PRAY more, I'm able to help others in more ways than I did before, I've added to tools to my toolbag & I'm good with them, I witnessed the value others saw in my....at maybe one of the lowest points I've been at in years, I've gained more people that believe in this journey I've set out on, & I know that I have a different relationship with God, Jesus, & The Holy Spirit. ALL of EQUAL importance & all continuing to grOW. That's not even all of'm. FAITH is one of the most powerful tools to have in your toolbag. I can say that I know I am protected on this health journey & I'm supported not only with The Holy Trinity, but by my friends and family - in all the ways I need them.

The Daniel Plan & The Purpose Driven Life, will both tell you that the BEST way to deepen your faith is to read The Bible. If you want to, but don't know how...just tell God. The Holy Spirit will go to work & before you know it, you will have a plan, a friend, and develop a routine that leads to another routine. Just INVITE God in, Through the scripture you read...The Holy Spirit will pull at your heart & soul & spirit and just MOVE you. You probably won't understand it until you do it. I'm not gonna tell you how, because God will show you how. Everyone has a different way to get there. My very good friend always says: "The Holy Spirit is a gentleman. You have to invite Him in." He wants to know you want Him. You will than have the guidance in your life from God Almighty that knows EVERYTHING you need to know.

I'll end this post by urging you to think about ten ways you would finish this sentence. (This is an exercise out of The Daniel Plan.): "It's just like me to...." Some of them may have some truth & some of them may be unGodly beliefs you have about yourself. Either way...once you identify them...Pray that God helps you work those out. Invite him in & THANK HIM in advance,

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! The fun ride starts when you open that Bible! God bless!

OPERATION GET HEALTHY: Day One

Hi All! Be ready for MORE daily blog posts!

In 2014 I spent more time reading The Bible than I have my ENTIRE life....& it has changed my life. It is AMAZING to me how The Holy Spirit works inside of us & MOVES us. I've been gently nudged and made aware of so many things that I probably would've passed up or not paid any attention to in the past. Over the last several weeks my health and my eating habits have been at the forefront of my thoughts. I am pretty weak in these areas....as far as...knowledge on HOW to be healthier and actually FOLLOW-THRU with it.

Before Christmas I bought the Daniel Plan Book & Journal & I bought another set for my VERY dear friend down in South Texas...in hopes that we could ENCOURAGE each other to be healthier based on what the Bible tells us about our bodies, deepen our friendship, & deepen our FAITH & UNDERSTANDING of God's LOVE for us. She agreed....but like things usually go for me - with these plans I didn't know how to start & if I was "ready."

God has BLESSED me with one very persistent friend that is a STRONG believer in Advocare. I've told her NO a lot, but the last time we saw each other I just felt like this 24 day challenge she was talking about was something I should do. Really,...sometimes the whole - in the middle - of how I get from Point A to Point B astonishes me. I was really not into it & then I just was. Anyways.... since I decided to do the 24 Day Challenge, which started today, I decided to also start The Daniel Plan and my journal.

I've decided to share this journey with you like I did when I read through: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?

I SO strongly URGE all of you to find a way to get closer to The Holy Trinity. I can't explain all the POSITIVE changes happening in my life, but the doors that open up are way better than I can explain, It doesn't have to be all "holy-roller-ish." If you believe in God - your Creator....all you have to do is TALK to him. I'm tellin' you...give him a little & he'll give you a lot...more than you ask for...& don't think that you have to be QUALIFIED to do it. (ex. Go to church every Sunday.) He WELCOMES you just as you are, just where you are. I've talked Jesus around a beer pong table & the two of us that were talkin' are better for it, Maybe not physically HEALTHIER, but spiritually stronger.

So to be clear. I think one of the BIGGEST reasons I agreed to the 24-day challenge, was that I KNEW I would have someone that would hold me VERY accountable & someone that was accessible to HELP me when I needed it. Through this challenge & with the help of my friend I will LEARN to eat healthier. From reading Pastor Warren's book: I also know that it takes about 40 days to FORM a new habit. That is why I decided to couple the Advocare challenge with The Daniel Plan.

Today was the first day of the cleanse. Besides the products I took (shakes, cleanse formula, etc.) here are the foods I ate: (I share this with you - in case it could help you.)

Breakfast: Chocolate Mocha Meal Replacement Shake
1st Snack: Kiwi
Lunch: Salad with Super Berry Vinegarette & 6 small organic turkey meatballs
2nd Snack: Pear
Dinner: Smoked Turkey, Sweet Potatoes, Steamed squash,red bell pepper, & zucchini mix
3rd Snack: A little smoked turkey & baby carrots

I did 50 jumping jacks & need to drink more water than I did today.

If you want to make a change in your life & you need MORE than willpower & a persistent friend or several....go get THIS book. You will realize that you have masses of people praying for you & INVITE God to walk with you EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!

The first chapter of The Daniel Plan discussed why Pastor Warren felt MOVED to address this very issue of our society. It is filled with scripture & medical facts & statistics. On page 19 & 20 I found the very thought that has crossed my mind multiple times over the last several weeks: "If you want to know how valuable your life is to God, just look at the cross. With his arms outstretched, nailed to the cross, Jesus was sayng, 'This is how valuable you are to me. I love you this much! I'd rather die than live without you.' Now, if you are worth dying for, don't you think God wants you to take better care of yourself?" I'd feel twinges of guilt, because I know, like many of you know, that we NEED to be healthier.... We need to BUCK UP....quit making excuses! We need to BUCK UP & RIDE WITH JESUS! At least I do on this one....

I feel extremely blessed because I have a posse of about 7 people that are surrounding me to support me and encourage me, like I will them. Some are doing the 24 day Advocare Challenge, One is doing The Daniel Plan, & some are doing their own OR are just supporting me through it.

I will end today's blog with a prayer that Pastor Warren is praying over everyone on this journey. It is from 3 John 2: "Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." Amen.

Day 31:"Understanding Your Shape"

Thanks guys for hangin' in with me! Its been a BusY couple weeks. Tonight I felt EXTREMELY compelled to write this blog. I've fallen behind, so hopefully everyone that needed to catch up with the posts, has & we will carry on to Day 31 of the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. In the last post, we STARTED discussing our SHAPE. We discussed our Spiritual gifts & listening to our Heart.

Today we learn how to uncover, determine, figure out, & think about the rest of what creates our SHAPE. There is SO much in this book & so many ways this book can reach you, so PLEASE read it for yourself. I will share the things that just FLEW off the page at me.

We'll start with applying our Abilities. First off, the book says: "Your abilities are the natural talents you were born with." Let me tell ya...sometimes you don't even know you have'm. THIS is the most helpful thing for me (in terms of the guidance I was seeking) that this chapter had to offer: (Pastor Warren is discussing some people's ability to run a business.) "First, realize your ability came from God and give him the credit. Second, use your business to serve a need of others and too share your faith with unbelievers. Third, return at least a tithe (10 per cent) of the profit to God as an act of worship. Finally, make your goal to be a Kingdom Builder rather than just a Wealth Builder."

I have said before (in a number of different settings) that the MAIN reason I CONTINUE to pursue this whole auction career is because, through PRAYER, the thought came to my mind, I pursued it....cautiously at first, then proceeded to LEARN more about it & get my license. Many other "God" things have happened regarding it, since then. Here is what I strUGGle with. I WANT to give God the glory, but I don't know how.... I mean YES.... I SHARE my story with people, BUT I want to give him the glory in the act & I have not figured out HOW. I mean....how to do it where it will be EFFECTIVE.....where people will be RECEPTIVE to it....where people will KNOW it is GENUINE & where all the.....static of this world doesn't cloud...or hinder my actions.

Here's the part I'm struggling with: "Second, use your business to serve a need of others and too share your faith with unbelievers." - Here is how I see it & what I have a HARD time CONVEYING to others: (I will just speak plainly.) In the small communities, surrounding my hometown, I have WITNESSED how support systems (communities, families & friends, cause supporters, local business owners, etc.) have come together to shine light in the darkness & GENERATE life-changing funds for causes, organizations, and individuals that NEED it....through the LIVE Auction method. BELIEVE ME...there is an overwhelming need EVERYWHERE for what a LIVE AUCTION can bring & every single one of us has a web of connections that can be used to SUPPORT any NEED out there.

Where I struggle is ACTUALLY sharing my faith...IN THE ACT. It is not that I don't want to...it can be a number of different things such as: the intensity of event day & all the announcements that need to be made, all the people that want/need to make announcements, the numerous small fires that have to be put out like equipment malfunctions, lack of connectivity, people not showing up, etc. I KNOW the MAIN part of this is me though....& how (& why) I'm holding back.....it's the "unbelievers." Not JUST the unbelievers of CHRIST, but the unbelievers in WHAT I'm doing, WHY I'm doing it, HOW I'm doing it, WHEN I'm doing it..... This whole "doing something MOST people don't get" business is the hardest thing I've ever done. NO DOUBT....but.....I would do it over AGAIN in a heartbeat....and it seems like most people just don't get that. This whole MINISTERING to others business ain't easy. I mean....you THINK you are a believer...& THEN...you come to a VERY EVIDENT crossroad...that makes you talk to people, go places, & do things you either didn't want to do OR had NO IDEA you'd have the time or ABILITY to do them......and you just stand there, looking in both directions KNOWING which way you HAVE to go, but not wanting to...& you take the step anyway. That is FAITH my friends & you will be rewarded for it. Just typing this has revealed to me how much CONTROL outside things have over us & how much work I have to do on myself to not let the "unbelievers" hinder the vision that I see & the use of MY God-given ABILITIES.

The next part of our SHAPE this chapter discusses is our Personality. We all know what our personality is like, but let me explain how I applied this part. As a licensed auctioneer there are ALL KINDS of auctions that I could call: auto, livestock, benefit/charity, real estate, estate liquidations, business liquidations, storage units...you get my drift. The simplest way for me to know what direction my SHAPE is taking me is to look at all those options & go to what I would like to do. It doesn't have to be just one & it could change throughout my life. I will use my SHAPE: Spiritual Gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, & (later we'll talk about Experiences) to continue to share my MINISTRY with others. Another way to look at is this way: 2 Auctioneers, selling in the same industry....let's just say...2 estate auction companies... Each auctioneer can bring totally different gifts to their customers by their personalities. One may bring knowledge, guidance, & services & be very well-respected, while the other brings fresh marketing ideas, enthusiasm, & has a unique way of connecting with a crowd.  

The last part of our SHAPE is our Experiences. Here are the experiences the book asks us to examine: family experiences, educational experiences, vocational experiences (jobs you were good at), spiritual experiences, ministry experiences (ways you've served God), & painful experiences. Yeah...go ahead and make that list & say a prayer. It'll sure help you connect the dots. Also know this: "Only shared experiences can help others." The book goes on to discuss how God uses those painful experiences to stretch us & grow us & our need to share them with others. I know....they are the toughest ones to share.

Here's our daily stuff:

"Point to Ponder: Nobody else can be me."

Daily Bible Verse: "God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings." 1 Peter 4:10 (LB)

Daily Question: "What God-given ability or personal experience can I offer to my church?"

From my journal the first time of reading: Blogging, writing, sharing open & honest experiences, auctions, asking tough questions

Yeah....now I know that I can offer all kinds of gifts, abilities, & experiences to my church, my family, my friends, & complete strangers.

God BLESS you all! Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! LEARN your SHAPE. It takes a little deep-diggin,' but you'll be glad you did.

Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037