Moth Ponderings

 I recently completed a journey through the Bible. As a result, the dedicated time I spent reading, journaling, and studying, has freed up. Mondays, almost always, start with a layer of anxiety different than all the other days of the week. In an attempt to NOT let the anxiety win out, I try to start Mondays in meditation, prayer, Bible story narrations, and sometimes a combination of them. 

Those of you that follow my blogs or my Facebook Page, may be aware of how sometimes God reveals a topic. One of my more popular vlogs was about Jonah and the Whale. Well, a couple weeks ago, I could not get the idea of MOTHS out of my head. Now, two weeks later, I don't really recall the scripture, story, prompting. I do remember the lessons and my findings though! What an amazing adventure He takes us on! There is truly SO much to explore!

Moths represent a lot of things, but in literal Biblical terms - they are most closely categorized with the destruction of earthly riches/possessions. However, that is not what was not the direction I was getting from my ponderings. It was MORE....the not so literal contexts. 

Photo Cred: Kite's Custom Cleaners

This led me down what some would characterize as a "rabbit hole," but it really led me to what would later REALLY resonate with me and what I'm sharing here in this blog. I know moths are associated with destruction, but they are God's creation and God's plans are not for destruction. Somehow, in my Internet surfing, I found that "moths" are referenced in scripture 7 times. This may not mean a lot to everyone, but for me - the number 7 is divine. It was like finding a bread crumb that let me know my thoughts were moving in the right direction. Moths represent MORE than destruction. 

Then, I started pondering the differences and connections between moths and butterflies. Butterflies evolved from moths. In the grand scheme of creation - both are VERY important regarding pollination and playing their part in the food chain. However, if you were to compare the two: moths have been around longer; if comparing their pollinations skills - moths win out; and  the cocoons of a moth produce silk...and an abundance of it, where you gather very little from the chrysallises of butterflies in silk production. Nowhere, in scripture, are butterflies mentioned. Yes, they were around. I did the math. In no way am I attempting to downplay the importance and symbolism of butterflies. Most of those same symbolism's like "new life," can also be attributed to moths. Butterflies came from moths. Moths are the "root." I believe that is why they are referenced in scripture and not butterflies. Butterflies are beautiful, but in actuality, SO much more is produced from the moth. Yes, they also destroy; which may be another lesson to unpack, but my focus was lead to just how much "showy" doesn't matter to God. It is what we produce.

I shared my ponderings....a few days later with my friend/prayer partner++. She sent me a link to a teaching from Nancy Dufresne. As I listened to this, I was reminded of the anxiety I was experiencing, that ultimately led me to my moth ponderings and how, ultimately, these ponderings pushed some of the anxieties out and how together - The Holy Trinity and I - took care of my mind. 

I know there could be a lot to unpack here. There ALWAYS is, in anything inspired by God. But for the last two weeks, the lessons God has taught me through: scripture, His creation, and other believers are abundant. 

• God is not interested in the showy. He is interested in the substance. 
• There are divine and holy lessons through moths (& SO MANY more creations) to explore.
• Moths destroy, but they also produce - like humans.
• Focus on the "root" or the beginning of things and not so much on showy, evolutionary things. 
• Don't discount the less showy/more humble of anything.
• Place more focus on what you produce and less focus on how it looks. 
• Working on ourself is SO MUCH more important than the outside things we produce. 

I still LOVE butterflies and the wonder I feel when I see them. (If you've never been you should all go to The Butterfly Palace in Branson, Missouri.) However, I have a new appreciation for moths. 

Fasting and Rhythm

 12/27/14 - I have recently finished fasting from ALL liquid. except water. It originally started out as a 40-day fast & turned into a 47-day fast. I had made a decision to start reading The Bible daily & I started by reading from The Golden Book Children's Bible. The majority of this Bible is Old Testament. Even though it is a Children's Bible, it goes into quite a bit of detail & still took some research to really try and understand some of the messages. After I would read an Old Testament story...I would randomly open my New Testament Bible & read whatever story it took me to. A few days into doing this.... "40 days" kept popping up & I just felt led to start my fast.

I learned A LOT from this fast, this Bible time, & I KNOW that I strengthened my relationship with God. The lesson I want to share with you is that 7 days into this fast, I was at an auction. It was a pretty big success (for several reasons) & a very close family friend asked me if they could buy me a beer. I politely declined twice. As they persisted the third time, I told them I really didn't need one, but still allowed them to buy me a beer and drank it. I came home & had my Bible time & dinner as I just sat there and prayed & talked to God about it. I asked for forgiveness, but the whole time...felt an immense amount of joy & peace & thankfulness....for how the auction turned out for everyone involved. I remember thinking how I would have normally been MUCH harder on myself about caving, but....THANKS BE TO GOD....the JOY won out.

Fast forward to Day 40. We were at our friends' house in South Texas. The night before they wanted us all to have a glass of eggnog & I politely declined...kindly passing it off as being tired (which I was), but not sharing WHY I didn't want any. The next day, all us girls went to town shopping & we talked about all kinds of Bible things & my fast included, because I felt comfortable sharing with her. That night...her husband asked me if I wanted eggnog 3 times. I awkwardly turned him down & the third time he poured me a glass. I can tell you that, if I hadn't told my friend earlier in the day & had her support, I am almost positive I would have buckled....on DAY 40. I had mixed emotions about that. Really disappointed that I didn't know how to stand firm, with someone I feel pretty comfortable around....or how to share WHY I was doing it....or being WORRIED about how people would perceive it...or not knowing how to explain it.

So I went to the room we were staying in, started praying & talked to God about the whole thing & brought up the 7th day beer & asked God to just show me if he wanted me to fast 7 more days, or if it should be over. There were two things that popped out to me in my reading for that day. I started reading about Jesus's arrest. The first lesson was about Peter denying Jesus 3 times before the cock crowed. What resonated with me was the number 3 & how bitter he was towards himself. I also read where Pontius Pilate wanted to release Jesus & the third time/chance for him to release Him, he turned to the crowd & condemned Jesus because THE CROWD wanted him dead.  (Luke 22:54-23:25) I mean...it was like a reaction...a survival mechanism, but survival from what? I think it was created because of the worry of peoples' perceptions of them. It is so frustrating for me to read stories in The Bible (both Old and New Testaments) where people buckle so quickly from what they feel the need to do(which is The Holy Spirit leading them)...just to please people. Then I turned around and did the same thing. Needless to say.... I decided to go seven more days. Right now, I feel like holding firm a third time puts your feet on solid ground.

A few days later I read about Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan.  Jesus had fasted for 40 days and nights. First the devil said to him: "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread." Jesus answered him saying: "It is WRITTEN: Man shall not live by bread alone, buy by every word that comes out of the mouth of God." Then the devil says to  Jesus: "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written that He shall put his angels in charge of you to keep you safe, and they shall catch you in their hands, lest you strike your foot against a stone." Jesus said to him: "It is WRITTEN also: You shall not tempt the Lord your God," Then the devil took him to the top of a very big mountain & showed him all the kingdoms & said to Jesus: "All these things I will give you, if you will fall down & worship me." Then Jesus said: "Away, Satan. For it is WRITTEN: You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve." Then the devil LEFT him.....after the third test...& the angels came and ministered to Jesus. (Matthew Chapter 4). I also want to point out that even the Son of God uses Scripture when dealing with the devil.

A few days ago as I was cleaning & getting my house ready for Christmas company.....a note that I had typed on my phone back in May popped up. I don't really think anything is random anymore...it may seem like it, but EVERYTHING has purpose. It was a note I had typed during a T.D. Jakes sermon I had watched. I want to start out by saying that I (just a few days before I saw this note) did not agree with something that was posted on T.D. Jakes's social media site. As I read the comments and realized that A LOT of people also disagreed & some had also made the decision to quit following him all together....I remembered how important forgiveness is & not condemning. I thought about all the forgiveness I've been shown by God and people in my life & made the decision that I don't have to agree with everything everyone says, BUT I can take away & apply what I do agree with.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." -Proverbs 27:17

This sermon really gave me some structure in what to look for, as I started building my TEAM this year. When I say "TEAM," I think about the people in my corner & the people's corner that I WANT to be in.

"You need people with your rhythm. If they don't have your rhythm; they will find you abusive."

"Create a system that supports your rhythm."

"Develop what you need to sustain you."

"You can't explain to a turtle a giraffe decision." (Important to note that turtles can do things giraffes can't & vice versa.) I've also learned that turtles & giraffes can be in the same rhythm carrying out different tasks.

"There are people that feed you & people that deplete you."

"When you need to get fed....get fed. Then go out and feed others. Go back and get fed when you need it."

 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 speaks to this. It discusses how people are given different gifts, but they all work together as one....even though their skills and talents are different.

In many books throughout The Bible (Romans, 1 Corinthians, 1 Peter, Psalms...) we are reminded of the importance to take care of ourselves....mind, body, soul, & spirit. I think one of the key things to doing this (that I didn't really understand, or know how to go about getting there) is creating a support system that can suffice the UniQue needs that you have. The right people are put in our lives for that very purpose.

As this year winds down & I reflect back on my spiritual growth, my growth in relationships closest to me, & growth in my business - which is also part of my ministry & maybe my mission...I really am left in awe. I have to battle different things daily, like: people pleasing, fear of all kinds, judgement of myself and others, learning to forgive - even when I don't want to, letting go of control....amongst other things. However, I am MOST thankful this year, for my courage to leave the working for someone else world to enter the working for myself world. That decision has helped me to really focus on all the things that REALLY matter and allowed me the freedom to do it. I'm still figuring things out, but I will be for the rest of my life. I'm thankful for my awareness. Pay attention to things: talents, the people that fill you up, the people that deplete you, the people that need you, the gifts God is giving you...just be aware.

Buck Up Baby & ride with Jesus.

Moments of Obedience vs. Walking in Obedience

Me & the fam are spending a few days camping at our deer lease, mainly enjoying wide open spaces & each other’s company & I find myself pondering something I read in Isaiah yesterday.

“If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; but if you resist & rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” For the mouth of The Lord has spoken. Isaiah 1:19-20

The lessons I took away from this are:

1) If you resist, you are rebelling at the same time.

2) Doing something begrudgingly is NOT obedience.

3) Resisting and obedience are opposite of each other. They cannot simultaneously exist in you.

Learning to walk in obedience is much different than moments of obedience. The moments get us there. They strengthen our faith, as we learn to walk in obedience, but they are moments.

I do believe God rewards moments of obedience. He is helping us to understand the kind of blessings that can come, when we confirm our willingness to being obedient to His work and His plan.

Also, another thought I’ve had on the matter is: maybe what I consider blessings, are actually us living in union with God, how He has always intended. Then, when we revert back to our old ways, access to His peace leaves us and we are resting on what we know, and not God.

These thoughts have also had me pondering several people from testimonies in The Bible.

Paul walked in obedience after meeting Jesus on the road to Damascus.

Peter had moments of obedience when he was one of Jesus’s disciples, but his denial of Jesus shows, he was not walking in complete obedience to Jesus. Once Jesus was raised from the dead and visited His disciples is, likely, when Peter began walking in obedience for The Lord.

Elijah walked in obedience, sacrificing his own well-being for God and His plan.

Esther was called to more and reached a place where she made the choice, to walk in obedience with God.

Judas Iscariot may have had moments of obedience, but, surely, did not walk in obedience with God.

John the Baptist understood his assignment and walked in complete obedience to God’s plan.

Noah walked in obedience.

I am certain my experiences, thus far, are the results of moments of obedience. In many cases some major event occurred to encourage these individuals to walk in obedience with Jesus, and transition past moments of obedience.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Ponder with Him & talk it out. He wants us too!

Angst from Jesus's Perspective - Luke 22:40-44

Easter....the Easter season has seemed so pivotal and transformational to me for the last several years. I KNOW it was, when Jesus finished the work on the cross, but EVERY Easter season for the last....10 years...approximately, I have found myself examining another layer of the importance of the work Jesus did. 

This year, I found myself pondering the angst Jesus experienced....throughout, but mainly before the crucifixion. From the book of Luke:

I don't know if any of you have felt angst. I have on a couple of occasions. Angst is irrational, but the feelings of worry, confusion, feeling lost, aware that whatever could or is getting ready to happen WILL completely change the trajectory of what you know and....the other side of it is....abrupt and swift and NOTHING in life will ever be how it is in the current state of angst. It is like a deep, dreadful......all-encompassing panicked moment of deep mourning BEFORE the change arrives. 

As I transported myself as an observer into this very situation on the Mount of Olives... I imagine Jesus encouraging the disciples to pray, but almost having that feeling of....they are on their own because I need to get myself right. I believe He still very-much cared for them in that moment, but He needed to also care for Himself in that moment.

I can't imagine, in His flesh, that He totally understood why there was not another way....why He had to endure THE WORST FORM OF HUMAN PUNISHMENT known to man, at that time. I imagine Him being so sick to His stomach & weak with worry & also being concerned about discouraging the disciples, while in His current state. 

He KNEW His flesh was going to die and that He would feel every bit of the dying process....every bit of earthly life leaving His body. He imagined what it would feel like. He imagined the pain. He imagined EVERYTHING that was coming ahead. You know....in our flesh....we imagine things much worse than they wind up happening. 

Somehow, as I pondered from this perspective, I came to realize that: Yes. Jesus was crucified on the cross because He loves us & He wanted to save us & join us to Him. But I believe, His FINAL earthly YES was because of His overwhelming LOVE FOR GOD. He was not obedient to us. He was obedient to God. I believe the angel God sent, eased Jesus's worries. I believe that God intervened when He did because of His love for Jesus and His love for us. I believe that Jesus was able to take that massive step of obedient faith because He knew God loved Him and whatever was on the other side of all. that. pain. WAS BETTER. God gave Him the mission. God gave Him the purpose. God gave Him the willingness. God gave Him the way. God gave Him the strength. AND God delivered on His promise. 

He said the most scary, FAITHFUL, obedient YES to God, in history. 

Sitting with this, really strengthens something in me. I don't know what. For sure, my relationships with The Holy Trinity, but also something else. 

If you have never said a fearful yes, to God's call; I encourage you to do it. That yes that Jesus said, is BY FAR the scariest yes I can imagine. I mean......Jesus KNEW that He would lead others like: Peter, Jude, Paul, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, James, James (son of Zebedee), Bartholomew, Andrew, and so many more, down this painful path - by saying His yes. He said yes to torture, ridicule, pain, mental and emotional strife, betrayal, and He also said YES to LIFE for us all FOREVER. They ALL did. He walked through death, so it would have no hold on us. Whatever we suffer, if we have faith in God, the other side will be better. Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! SAY that fearFUL YES!

Training Ground

 This blog will be about getting where I'm going. The lessons have to take place somewhere and people must witness our imperfections. Lately, I've been reflecting on what has gotten me here. 

I think about one of my other titles....Mom.  Kyle and I just had a conversation with our 3 kids. They like to ask questions about each other like...."What was Kylee like as a baby?" "Was Hunter as chunky as Heath was?" Somehow we got on the subject of Kylee being the oldest and she asked why we did something and Kyle said...LOL "You were the first one. We didn't know what we were doing." 

As we enter different stages of our lives we NEED a training ground. As I make an attempt at relating the two and try to truly capture how GRATEFUL I am for my training grounds, hang with me. I hope this allows you all to have some nostalgic moments FULL of gratefulness for YOUR journey. 

I remember when I was teetering on the idea of building my own business, having the flexibility to buILD the life I envisioned for myself and my family, knocking some barriers down - that were in my way and weighing every. single. thing. I mean....EVERYTHING. 

One of the things that hung me up for awhile was that, up until that point, I had prided myself on my quality of work and I KNEW I would not have the background support....you know, like an accounting department, production department, HR department, like I was used to. I also had never done, what I was getting ready to do so.....I was going in with as much education as I could gather, before beginning the journey blind...and taking others with me. What I mean by that is minimal experience. I had my life experiences on the periphreal of the actual nuts and bolts of the business, but no REAL boots on the ground experience. I had experience within departments of PART of the business. Because I am a person that puts the work in, I had to make damn sure - this JOURNEY I was getting ready to take everyone on was a long-term plan and that I was up for a long adventure. I feel like that again, but that's all that seems familiar. I feel like the next leg of the journey could go several different ways. I also know that it could go different directions than what I'm even aware of, because well....our God is BIG. 

All the feels of this space are so familiar. Imagine.....uncertainty...excitement....motivation...fear of acting....holding onto what I know - instead of just acting.... I know God is always right on time and I can't mess it up, but I always find myself thinking I am missing some sort of CLEAR message and I am getting in my own way. 

I digress....

As parents, we are to "raise our children in the way they should go, so they do not stray from it." Each one of our children have very unique traits and characteristics and God took into account Kyle and I being first time parents, when he blessed us with Kylee. He knew we had what it took to have a second child, change careers, and move home & form an LLC....all at the same time. He also knew that another human needed all of what all four of us could give him. As I reflect on the environments we were in with each three....I'm in awe of Him. 

God KNOWS how I think....and think....and overthink. He provided an opportunity for me to EXPLORE. When I talked to Kyle about it, he was open to it.......and ALL the things had to happen in our lives for him to be open to it. What a wonderful training ground He took us to in Rockport. Three and a half hours from home. He removed distractions and allowed us to focus on us and become who He was calling us to. 

As I sit here typing, and being more aware of the things The Good Lord is calling me to do. I see the last 12 or so years of my life as yet, another training ground. One where people had to witness my growth, the growth of my family, the growth of my faith, the successes, the perceived failures, the way in which I move in between them. Just like I was thankful for my Rockport training ground. I am thankful for this one. This one had a few more dips and curves and peaks and valleys. Now, He is calling US to more. We don't know PRECISELY what it is, but He is and we will find out along the way. 

We all have our training ground, and I have come to believe that God may have multiple purposes for us. OBEDIENCE....EXPLORATION....TRUST....FAITH....COURAGE....PERSEVERANCE... When you BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS it takes all of those things. You best, put them in your saddle bags. 

One of the missions God has for me is simply, sharing my story and sharing my faith, with the hope and intention that it will ENCOURAGE someone else to get to know Jesus. This blog itself, is yet another training ground, where I get to use all the tools in bold above. When you make the choice and saddle up...you will experience it ALL. Your life will be FULL....abundant even. There will be cold, exhausting nights, where you are too broke (in a variety of ways) to do anything but rest....in the cold. Then....He will pick you up out of it and you will be stronger and smarter and better prepared for the next part of the journey.....and it will be an ADVENTURE you would never, ever trade. 

Yes....people will come and go, in and out of your life....and it will HURT. It will bring you grief and sadness and turmoil, but only for a short while. You see, God loves them too. He is teaching them something, just as He's teaching you something. He WILL reward your obedience....small acts, large acts, and continual acts. 

I encourage anyone reading to just sit with Him, even for a few brief moments. Let HIM speak to you, however He chooses and be receptive to hearing Him. Then....in His perfect timing, buck up baby & ride with Jesus!

Perseverance

 Sometimes things just suck. When I look at myself - I think if God put a person by a word...I would be right beside the word perseverance. 

I don't want this post to be depressing, but no promises. 

I am grateful that this word really does describe me. I do know rewards come on the other side of perseverance. I am just really not enjoying this leg of the race. 

For every negative truth I'm getting ready to write.....there are SO many more blessings and I know that. For whatever reason, all I really want to do right now is write this.  For that, I'm sure God will use it to bless someone. Praise God for how he does that!

I'm not really sure if describing the last two years-ish of my life as major change on multiple levels covers it, but for now.....I'll go with it. 

Maybe the most ground-shaking for me was my Dad dying. Even though I believe with all my heart that God is using him right now and he is in a much better place.....and ultimately we are to, I have changed. I'm not entirely sure how and I don't believe the change is complete. What I do know is that I am learning a lot more about myself and the people around me. I feel an overwhelming relief on some layer of my being and I don't know how to be in a state of relief. It doesn't feel right. I also have moments where I REALLY grieve his presence, his advice, the lessons that he taught us. Lately, I've been spending quite a bit of time appreciating the lessons he taught us and how they have shaped our lives. 

The next momentous change in my life has been what I have described several ways, (it depends on the day): 

-A slow crumble to the foundation & then standing in the middle not knowing where and how to rebuild.

-A shaking out of all that needed to be and pivoting with more tools than when I started.

-A next level transition period that has been my most overwhelming to date, as a business owner.

-A pause, looking up and being surrounded by all the decisions I made, bad & good and needing to JUST STOP, and take an accounting of my goals and priorities. 

-A COMPLETE CHANGE from how I do things to how I will do things and just getting geared up for the journey.....and already being wiped out. 

My priorities and my business are morphing and......I'm in the gap. I've gone from having 15+/- employees to me....where I started & by choice and necessity. Making choices....even if they are the best ones for you are not always pleasant or easy. 

These are the two MOST momentous, however.....we go to the next layer.

I've lost a couple other people this year that took the wind out of me. Randy "The Lone Wolf" Martin from Texas Flip'N'Move and Wendy that has worked on the Texas Cotton Gin Fundraising Committee for the last several years. A sadness still comes over me as I type this. I'm not sad for them. They both KNEW Jesus and LOVED HIM BIG. I'm sad for myself, the people in their lives and that their people are hurting. Also....because I want to do or say more, but I, nor anyone else, can be or do anything other than be ourselves and just keep going. Really....there is just a sadness that I am carrying and I know it will get lighter. I'm blessed these beautiful people were a part of my life and I will miss their light. They were lights for me. 

I completed my 6th year on the Texas Association Board of Directors and could not be at the convention, because Dad was on the decline and I was needed at home. I'm really not sure why this has been SO hard for me. I really did enjoy serving. It was time for me to take a break, but I was really looking forward to seeing my auction family and it slightly feels like something is missing....even though I know it is not. 

Markets, across the board, in all the industries I serve, are changing. In real estate we came off of a fast and furious, hard to keep up kind of atmosphere....to one that has drastically slowed down. Personal property has been a completely different animal since during/after the COVID outbreak, and Fundraising has had a positive incline, but components are changing. Covid changed people and anyone that works in an industry dealing with the public has felt that. 

This next layer makes me feel like I am whining, but when part of your livlihood is getting up in front of people and a dental implant procedure that is supposed to take 8 months, winds up taking 2+ years (has nothing to do with the provider) because an under the gum infection requires you to start over and you juggle a mouthpiece, missing tooth, and chipping veneers.....You just don't want to sometimes.

As this backstory is going on there are some SUPER POSITIVE things that are happening in our lives, which helps me to KNOW.....that although the backstory looks like a hot mess, GOOD is coming from it & GOD IS GOOD. I get lost sometimes in whether or not these are attacks from the enemy or if God is allowing them to bring me closer to who He has created me to be. Either way....PERSEVERANCE will get me to the other side. I might be wore out and dog tired, but I will get there. 

And you know....what it interesting about this place is that, after I allow myself to feel, relief happens and new energy is born. The truth is, we all have these wrestles and we all have wrestles that pile up on top of us. It doesn't make them any easier knowing that, and because we've all been through it, we should work on really offering grace to others in the gap. 

I had a friend call me yesterday. By all accounts, he looks like he is killin' it in life and in business. Bottom line....we shared our burdens, and while our burdens weren't the same; we were able to listen and share openly and honestly with one another. He is killin' it, but he's also needing a pause. It's taken some self-discovery  to accept that both of those things can be true simultaneously, but it is so. We can ROCK & be tired at the same time. Being tired doesn't make you less than who you are. It shows you are human and allows you to relate to other humans. It also teaches you lessons that YOU MUST GO THROUGH to get to the NEXT LEVEL God has planned for you. You can mourn the person....the business...the dream of who you were, while you are getting stronger and stepping more firmly into the place God is holding for you. God wastes NOTHING! 

FOLKS, it is REALLY important that we are nice to each other right now. While there might be a picture of me beside perseverance, everybody's won't be. I've talked about one of my managers before. He used to tell me that I seem to always do multiple high stress things at the same time. It is just how things have fallen in my life. Over time I have learned just how abnormal that is. I wasn't even aware until he had brought it to my attention. While I am grateful for my own life experience, helping me in this... just......ever-changing place I have found myself in ---- it would be a REALLY hard place to navigate without experience, without faith, and without perseverance. 

I truly do pray that this helps somebody in some way. Although it is overwhelmingly transparent on my end, it also feels VERY good to put this out into the atmosphere. Holy Spirit, take it where You will, in Jesus Name. Amen!

Words & Deeds

 There is power in your words and even more power in your actions. In almost every situation, every decision that has to be made you have the power...yes YOU have the power to either encourage, enhance, motivate and show kindness OR partner with the enemy and seek to steal, kill, & destroy (John 10:10). It really is that simple. If that decision is grounded in the love of the Father, it will be LIFE-GIVING. 

Review your day.... Think about decisions you made: conversations you had, speaking without considering how the other person may receive it, posting something, not communicating an important update.... What were they grounded in?: love, hope, faith, or fear, anger, self-seeking desire, money... Think about it folks. 

Drill all the way down on it. Did you make the decision you did because you have done all you know to do and this decision is what you believe is best for all involved OR did you make the decision you made out of disagreement and judgement and not uncover the complete truth of the situation? Did you act on emotions invoked by half-truths or facts and whole-truths? Be brave enough to be honest with yourself and KNOW that God loves you no matter what. 

People that I love dearly and others I respect, have done and said and posted things lately and I'm not so sure they understand the POWER of their words and/or actions. Stop telling people what they should do, how they should do it, using people, manipulating people and situations and think that you have the authority to do it! GOD gives each and every one of us free-will and we should do the same for each other. 

You are either dividing or bringing together. You are either encouraging out of love, out of fear, or out of selfish motives. Love the people you want to love on and leave everyone else alone. 

When you operate in a place of fear, anger, money, self-seeking desires.....you are partnering with the enemy. You are allowing the enemy to use you. 

Have you guys seen what's going on in the world???? Nobody's got time for that. There is plenty of hate and fear in the world right now. Buck Up & GET. IT. TOGETHER. 

For real....we all have many, many choices every single day. Choose who you want to work with (Jesus or Satan). Your decisions show your heart. The wonderful, wonderful, BEAUTIFUL gift God has given us in Jesus, not only gives us power, but also gives us the blessed gift of FORGIVENESS! Did you make a decision rooted in sin? Guess what......turn your heart to Jesus, repent, & it is TOTALLY FORGIVEN! WIPED CLEAN!!! If you get bucked off....BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS! He will get you back in the saddle over and over and over again.....as many times as you need to build  YOUR trust in Him. 

May We All Have the Courage to Find Jesus in the Desert

In Exodus 3:1-10 Moses was watching Jethro, his father-in-law's, sheep. God appeared to him in a burning bush. Our Bible study, this week, has challenged us to listen for God in the desert. I caught myself trying to replace the word "desert" with "wilderness."

The "wilderness" to me is beautiful. There are trees and grass and streams and breezes....places to seclude ourselves and enjoy nature. That is not what I think about when I think about the desert. I think of sand and wind and sand getting in my eyes and mouth and having limited beauty of creation to enjoy and surely no place to hide or seclude ourselves. 

I knew God wanted me to mediate on the "desert" and not the "wilderness." In my flesh I did not want to, but in my spirit I truly long for the moments, like Moses received in the desert. How amazing to witness a burning bush, that would not burn away & to hear the voice of God speaking DIRECTLY to him. God longing for his attention so deeply, that he created a wonder, that drew his attention and then spoke a message that He knew Moses would never forget. There were very limited distractions, allowing the message God had for him to be much clearer. It makes the desert seem like an okay place. 

As I continue to meditate on this....the thoughts that keep coming to mind, is just. how. hard. walking through the desert is. 

When I think figuratively about the desert...I think about being alone. I think about wandering. I think about being delirious with nothing and the continual motion of nothing. I think about traveling long periods of time and seeing nothing. 

But then...when I think about FINALLY seeing SOMETHING in the desert I imagine latching on, exploring, looking at EVERY detail, being encouraged, rejuvinated...

I've been in the desert before....figuratively.....(and literally in New Mexico). It is ALL the things I have listed above.

Right now.....not giving into trying to be warm and fuzzy about things....what comes to mind about MY experience in the desert is...it was EXHAUSTING. I was forced to take a hard look at myself and correct my way of thinking to be more in line with God's word & not the ways of the world. I'm talking stripping down strongholds that would seem relatively normal, like working hard and working well & calling it the things it can be....an idol, distraction, an excuse... I don't always like what I see in the desert. I don't always understand the things in the desert. I don't always want to do the things God calls me to do in the desert, and not because I want to disobey Him....but because I don't feel ready. It makes my soul weary & although I can tell you that it does this to me, I can't tell you why, because each journey through the desert is different. The journey helps us understand the message, but we don't know what the message is, until we journey through the desert. 

So, right now, today....the dessert is about FAITH & OBEDIENCE & WONDER.

Not knowing what is ahead may not be exhausting to everyone, but it is exhausting to me. I'm in the desert right now and I'm exhausted. I know He is preparing me, but for what - I do not know. I do trust Him for only good things. I believe that what I will find in the desert will be so clear and amazing, that it will make the journey worth it.  My friends....that does not mean I enjoy the journey.

This is proof that you can love something, without actually enjoying it. 

What I can also tell you about my last walk in the desert is; I am SO glad I took the journey. It FOREVER changed my life & made my life much fuller than my vision, at the time, would allow. That is also how I know I will get serious about this journey & latch on, when God presents the opportunity.

Saddle up for the HARD ride. Buck up baby & ride with Jesus! It may be hard, but He promises to get us to the other side.

Believers & Nonbelievers

On my way home yesterday evening, I had a little over an hour drive time and I found myself pondering how the Holy Spirit brings believers and nonbelievers together.

I took part in an education program that consisted of one week of intense, advanced industry education, over a three year period. This industry, is a male dominated industry and me and my roommate were blessed to spend two of those three years together.

We bonded. We identified with each other on so many levels, but one area where we were on opposite ends of the spectrum was our faith.

We opened up conversation about faith, when she saw me reading my Bible & journaling. Approximately a year before I met her I decided to work towards something that had been placed on my heart, which is reading the Bible cover to cover.

Her question to me was: “What makes you feel so strongly that God exists.” She shared that she was not a believer.

My answer was: “ There have been significant moments in my life that I KNOW could have only been turned around by the power of Jesus. It transcended human ability and understanding.”

At that point, I didn’t go into detail, but she thanked me for being able to openly talk about what both of us believe in & that, in all of her experiences with sharing her beliefs, she had felt condemned or judged.

I can say in all truth, that NOTHING she told me made me think of her any less, at all. In fact, I think it made our bond grow stronger and I believe we will always be each other‘s cheerleader in life. Wherever her beliefs are, I love her right where she’s at, just how she is. She is building a beautiful life for herself, attacking her dreams & I am SO proud of her.

God is slowly but surely teaching me to just walk and be obedient and be kind and to guard my heart and mind.

Buck up Baby and say YES to Jesus! Say YES to love! Say YES to fellowship! Say YES!

I believe that God loves all people and he loves all people so much that he sent Jesus for us all to have the opportunity to know Him without hindrance, without shame, & without the judgment of sin.

A Shepherd Smells Like His Sheep

A little over two weeks ago I was sitting in the cry room at church. If you guys have never had the pleasure of sitting in a cry room filled with God's little angels....you would not know that, as a parent, you have to REALLY have your listening skills turned up to hear the message. For me sometimes...I have to just grab the key words I can catch and meditate on them.

The Priest was talking about Jesus as a leader of the people & one thing that stuck out to me....and hasn't left my mind yet is "A shepherd smells like his sheep."

Small tangent here...but I used to show lambs through 4-H & FFA. If you have never been around sheep, they have an odor about them. When my sister & I were out working with them, someone would be able to tell we had been. It's different than a goat or a cow or a horse. It's a distinct smell.

So then....I thought about that.

#1 - Jesus CHOSE us to shepherd. He made the choice to be like us, smell like us, hurt with us, rejoice with us, protect us at all costs.

#2 - He chose ALL of us & He searched far & wide, without discrimination of any kind, to find His lost sheep. HE PUT THE WORK IN. The grimy, dirty, dusty, painful, treacherous, scary, confusing WORK. He knew who He was looking for.

#3 - He walked into places that were unknown & met unwelcoming strangers. He not only walked...He BOLDLY walked.

So as I still sit here with "A shepherd smells like his sheep" burned into my mind....I ask Jesus to come into MY shoes....where I'm currently walking. I talk to him about my "sheep" that I am leading in any sense of the word...along the path of my calling & tell Him, I WANT to be like Him. I want to KNOW my sheep.

Being a business owner and an employer does not always lead you down clear cut paths. In fact, in my walk, there has been A LOT of walking by blind faith; Having faith that a decision I make now, will make sense later.

See...We aren't Jesus. Sometimes your sheep...or your tribe come to you. PRAISE JESUS when that happens....well...praise Him always, but acknowledge those godsends. We don't always see the "wolves" like Jesus could. We have to learn how to identify them, but I believe we have to learn how, so we know what to look for & we can better protect our flock/tribe. Those are not the shoes I'm asking Jesus to wear for me today.

I'm asking Him to put on the pair where I am trying to be everything to everyone. I'm running after other people's sheep AND my own & not because I need them or want them, but because I think I'm supposed to because I have the skills, knowledge, wisdom, & means to provide for their needs effectively. What I'm not thinking about is what I need. I think that is how I qualify my sheep.

 So as I stand at this intersection...where there is like a....market or a plaza along each road....and  I'm standing their holding our new baby, with my family & my crew - I need His DIVINE guidance to take me down the path that doesn't have the most people needing services that I can provide, but the one that has the RIGHT people needing services I can provide, but in the plaza that can also sustain all the needs of the flock coming with me & POSSIBLY provide opportunities for me to be a sheep and not a shepherd.

I want to walk SO boldly knowing that I not only will be walking with a well-nourished, well-fed, well-loved flock by my side, but that I'm in an environment where I will be fed, nourished, loved & have the ability to feed, nourish, & love on more of God's people.

We aren't Jesus & we aren't called to be everything to everyone. That's how I know I'm at a crossroad. I've finally looked up. I do not & never did have the ability to meet the needs of everyone. I was SO busy hearing the needs of man, that I hadn't REALLY stopped. (I stopped & asked, but not long enough to listen.) I want to be the shepherd to the people Jesus calls me to & those alone. I am your sheep. Come & get me & lead me in YOUR ways & not the ways of man.

Jesus, Help me to always remember that YOU care for ME. I have to obey YOU, so I can care for THEM. AMEN.

Yep. That's how He broke through to me. Buck Up Baby & Ride With JESUS! Look for him amongst the noise. He not only will find you...He'll teach you how to ride through all the noisy places in life.

Rejoice! Lessons from my 2015 focus word...

A friend of mine introduced me, at the end of 2014, to having a focus word for the year. 2014 was the year that I really began to delve into scripture. By God's grace He took care of me, navigated me through the Bible to where I....well I could enjoy it....grasp it. It was a year of big change also & I was kind of trying to bring my JOY back, but at the same time knew that sometimes JOY would not be present. Reading through scripture the word REJOICE stuck out to me. What also stuck out to me, is that a lot of times the word REJOICE would show up in reference to struggle or hardship. Here are some examples:

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials." 1 Peter 1:6 (This book talks a lot about persecution & suffering & that we should expect  it in our earthly walk.)

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12 (This chapter in Romans starts talking about how mature Christians should try to live. To me it is dying to our fleshy self & carrying our cross where God is calling us, while on earth.)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3 (I am drawn to this book in the Bible. James encourages us to put our faith into action.)

Luke 1:26-38 doesn't use the word REJOICE in it, but I believe that is what Mary did. This passage is about the angel coming to Mary to tell her that she is going to give birth to Jesus. I encourage you to go read it & then put yourself in her shoes. I think "confusion" would be putting it mildly. She had questions & the answers she got, probably didn't make sense to her either. She sat in faith & hope, for what the angel was telling her.

SIDEBAR....JUST FOR A MOMENT: Several of my friends have shared their struGGLE of 2015 & how they are ready for a new year & new opportunity. When I was first reading those messages I thought.... I LOVED 2015. Lots of pretty cool things happened. And then I remembered...there were some REALLY tough things too. Maybe some of the toughest I've faced in at least 10 years....from a....well...just some of the toughest.

So to recap what the year 2015 taught me about the meaning of REJOICE.... (Life & the divine guidance of The Holy Trinity through scripture has shown me this.)

Sometimes it's about small victories. Sometimes it is about hardships that are just the beginning of a journey to a blessing that no one else could give you but God. Sometimes it is being so pissed off at the enemy that all you can do is REJOICE because you KNOW God will win. Yes...even in the midst of death & disease & perversion & terrorists & extremists...God will win. The fact that all God wants us to do is trust Him, love Him, love His people, submit to His will (which is better than ANYTHING we could dream up), & keep seeking Him....keep seeking peace - is reason to REJOICE!

There are people that face situations that make me cringe....make me sad...make me angry....disgust me... How can they rejoice?

Someone...somewhere on this earth has been touched by each and every person God created. We all have purpose. From the point of conception we are affecting someone & we keep affecting people the longer we are here....and more people. Others need what we have. We may not know who they are, what it is, & at times we may not even understand the affect someone has on us & vice versa, but The Holy Spirit is moving & working among us. God does not waste anything....not a thing.

REJOICE is a verb & after a year of meditating on it, I believe, it is a verb powered by our hope & faith. We have to choose to rejoice & we are able to rejoice in any situation & in any circumstance.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! It is not easy, but if you choose to, He will GIVE you MANY, MANY more reasons & fuel for REJOICING!

My focus word for 2016 is RELATIONSHIPS. I want to focus on developing the relationships God has blessed me with. My focus Bible verses will be: "I give you a new commandment: love one another; you must love one another just as I have loved you. It is by your love for one another, that everyone will recognize you as my disciples." - John 13:34-35

Keep Pushing Towards Your Dream....Even If You Don't Know What it LOOKS Like.

A couple months ago I was sitting at this AWESOME gathering. It was a meeting of the minds of lots of business-minded women, who were sharing their LOVE for Jesus Christ. One of the speakers said: "Keep pushing towards your dream." I thought to myself....."I'm not sure what that looks like anymore." That thought kind of struck me & I've been meditating/wrestling/just letting it sit up there somewhere...marinating.

I thought to myself...."My word Heather! You kind of need to know what that looks like, to know how to proceed!" I shared this thought with a friend & she said: "Think about what you did when you first went into business for yourself and you didn't know what it was going to look like."

I had that DUH! moment...although it wasn't quite the same.

Here is what I wanted when I stepped out in faith & decided to pursue the DREAM of working for myself & helping others, with the gifts God has blessed me with, while providing for my family & having a better quality of life..............I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE I WAS ASKING FOR A LOT! However....God has given me all of that.

Scripture tells us: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened" Matthew 7:7-8

"Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

So when I took myself back to that time...when I felt like I was drifting in the sea...on a ship...by myself....& I had to make decisions & friendships & partnerships & purchases that I weren't sure where RIGHT....

I just kept going...asking...seeking...knocking.

And all of a sudden....my dream took shape. Not anything like I envisioned.... More. MUCH more. In fact things were added to my dream that I didn't even know existed.

So...as I find myself on this ship....that now has new crew members & allies & gadgets & tools....I'm going to do those things all over again...ask...seek...knock. I find myself not even trying to envision it...just living it...because what will happen is more than I have the capacity to see.

Sometimes you won't always know what your dream LOOKS like. Sometimes you'll just remember what you hope for & when what you hope for starts happening...you'll be able to identify what it FEELS like....& just keep going.

Get your heart right. Then Buck UP Baby & Ride with Jesus! Keep going in TRUST & FAITH.

Stepping Out In Faith....SAY YES!

I had a busy week, last week & there was a moment....after I got off the phone, with a client...that I just sat back & APPRECIATED where I was. I thought...on what life could be like if I would not have said YES to God...when he was calling me to something MORE. My week has involved discussions for five fundraising galas, four different liquidation auctions, and 5 different real estate transactions. Sometimes those discussions weren't the most exciting, but I had to sit back a minute... This could have been a TOTALLY different story than what I'm typing.

I am THANKFUL. Thankful for the opportunities...YES! Even more THANKFUL though....for the peace of mind I have now....for the flexible time schedule to have MORE time with my family...for the new friendships I've made, that I would have TOTALLY missed out on....for this REAL spiritual development that God is doing in me...there is SO MUCH to be thankful for.

I'm really GRATEFUL that The Holy Spirit kept nudging me & nudged me in just the right ways to get my attention....even when those nudges were NOT so fun... I mean REALLY... Sometimes I would kind of like it if there would just be directional signs. BUT God needs to develop our character in Christ...for what is yet to come.

Turning the focus to YOU (yes, YOU, who is reading this)... If you have reached a point where you KNOW you are supposed to SAY YES to God....just go on & do it!

You will have no clue what it looks like.
It is totally different than anything you are capable of imagining right now.
You will survive on the other side of it.
He has equipped you for exactly where He is taking you.
It won't be easy. In fact...sometimes, it will be down right scary.
Sometimes, you will want to change your mind.
Sometimes, you will want to pull a blanket over your head & not speak to anyone....for DAYS.
You will cry.
You will laugh.
You will overthink & over-analyze.
You will make bad decisions on accident.
You will make bad decisions....that seem like the right ones.
You will trust people more than you should.
Then...you will not trust people enough.
You will have everyone and their momma....& sometimes their daddy...tell you how to do things.
People will criticize you.
People won't get you.
You could drift away from friends.
You could lose friends.
You will gain friends.
God WILL put the people in your path that are needed to carry out HIS missions.
You will LEARN things about yourself....that you just flat didn't know.
You will LEARN things about things that you didn't even know existed.
You will LEARN things about EVERYTHING!
You will do & accomplish & experience things you NEVER thought were even a possibility.
You will GO ON THE JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME...YOUR journey!
It will get complicated....BUT...if you REMEMBER TO PAUSE & PRAY....the clutter will just peel away.
You will prosper.
You will shine.
You will touch lives.
You will change lives.
You will transform into who God is calling you to be.
You will begin to break the boundaries you have up that keep you small....and it will be A LOT of FuN!

For me...the MOST REWARDING part of ALL of this, is that: I am slooooooowly LEARNING how to ACCEPT God's grace over my life, and that JESUS carried EVERYTHING that is holding me back RIGHT NOW...to the cross. He has SAVED ME from it! What I toil & worry about is on me...because it is not of God.  I INVITE The Holy Spirit to MOVE & WORK in my life & ask that He nudge those who interact & work with me, in ANY capacity.

I'm in the mood for GRATITUDE :).... To end this post, in this moment....I think I am the MOST thankful that I can look at my children...& tell them to pray, and when they pray LISTEN...to whatever their inner self is telling them, BUCK UP (no matter how long it takes) & step out in FAITH, & SAY YES to what every instinct in you is telling you to do (not your logical thinking head ;)). Those instincts are gifts & no matter what...THANK GOD. Give it ALL to Him. Praise Him in the rain & praise Him in the sunshine.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! It'll be the ride of a lifetime!

Own Your Awesome....Don't be Intimidated

In my most recent post, I shared my experience after leaving The Gathering (which for you new readers, was an AWESOME gathering of women...many in business, sharing their journeys & their Jesus). I was SO encouraged by these ladies & this gathering & the number of ladies that showed up to hear these testimonies.That being said, a few days after The Gathering...I wrote down some of the topics that just stuck with me after being there. I will blog about ALL of them & have prayed that I tell this story how God needs me to & write about these topics how He wants me to & in His order...not my own. On my own...I would have moved this a little further down the list, but as I sat with them & prayed for guidance...this is the one I feel compelled to share. I don't say any of what I'm getting ready to share in judgement &, quite frankly, applaud each lady that got up there & SHARED. I've been in this place that I'm fixing to talk about & still go to that place & I KNOW (in my case) the enemy is trying to steal my sunshine & I just feel led to share my experience & my reactions.

At The Gathering ....a few of the speakers would get up there & start to discredit or disqualify themselves, right off the bat. Boy was I familiar with that. It's like, in a way, we think we are being humble, but really we are letting the enemy toy with our worthiness. 

I couldn't quite put my finger on it right away, but the more people got up to speak the more I could feel a gentle brush of agitation, every time someone would say something questioning their own worthiness. I think my Spirit was getting agitated & I couldn't quite put my finger on it, in my flesh...until I prayed on it. It was like...when a razorback curr dog gets a little agitated & the hair starts standing up on it's back...right before it barks...(Yeah...I know I just country-fied this post, but that was the image that came to my head to describe it.)

It didn't take away from what they had to say (for me), but it bothered me that they felt like they should put that limit on themselves & it bothered me that I was so familiar with it. 

Here's an example of what I'm talking about: "I haven't studied this as much as so & so." OR "I've only been in business X number of years." OR "I'm sure other people might do it differently."

HERE ME: I was that person EVERY time I had to get in front of a group of people....and I get in front of groups of people A LOT, being an auctioneer. If I could paint a picture of what my head is like a couple days before a big auction...it would be a bright & dull, menagerie of all kinds of random, made-up CraZY. ALL kinds of things go through my head like: "I'm not an expert on antiques OR coins OR guns OR furniture & here I am selling this stuff to people." OR "These people know more about this stuff than I do." "Will people show up? Did I think of everything? What am I missing?" OR "I am in a room FULL of rich, intelligent, successful people. They are going to look at me...like 'Who does she think she is?'" OR "Will these rich, intelligent, successful people take me seriously? How will they respond to me? Should I be doing this? Am I out of my league?" "Will my crew act professional? Did I tell them all they need to know? Do I need more people?" "Will they know this dress is from Target? Do I know what I am doing?"

Boy, I tell you.....It was exhausting. I say "WAS" because just this past year, I walked into a situation that had me in a place where preparation was not really an option & the person that hired me knew it. I had already planned an estate auction (where we had less than 2 weeks to organize, from the contract date). I had preview day on Saturday & the auction was on Sunday. I had a friend call, that was in a jam. She's a pretty well-respected lady, that had a pretty fancy gala coming up, where the auctioneer couldn't come, last minute. She asked if I could help. I told her on the upfront, what I had going on, got the specifics on date/time/place & told her I'd call her back. 

I took this one straight to prayer. I don't do things like this, very much, anymore. I like to help from start (planning) to finish (post-auction results). If I told her yes it would be going against my plans on how I do things & jammin' up my schedule, & (if not done correctly) could take away from the upcoming auction I had. So.......in spite of what my fleshy self thought it should do...I told her I could make it...ironed out all the details & moved forward. The day came.....It had rained at our preview day & I literally had 55 minutes by the time we shut everything down to change and get from Point A to Point B & take the mic. I called a friend that lived close to Point A...changed clothes (I didn't need a shower. I got rained on.) Me & my assistant (aka World Transitioner) loaded up & caravaned to Point B. On the drive over...we talked about the auction items....our concerns...good starting bids & said...."Well, this is about as unprepared as I've ever been. I'm just gonna have to let The Holy Spirit lead me on this one." I felt this internal prompting the whole day to be slow to speak & keep my mouth shut unless I NEEDED to speak. We got there. I met with my contact. Met the emcees & ring men, looked over the list of items, walked around to see what kind of event we were at & sat patiently...with the my World Transitioner...until I needed to do my part.

Well....I was up there with a couple BIG personalities. They were very nice, worked well with each other & with me, kept the crowd entertained, said what they had to say & then turned it over to me. I would normally, in that situation, forced some words, tried to fill other spaces in some form or fashion, put some kind of limit on myself in some kind of way, BUT - In the back of my mind I just kept thinking....be slow to speak & keep your mouth shut unless you need to say something. 

I did just that & it was VERY successful. It's hard to explain...but I'll try. It was like the energy was different. Like if my role was a cup...it runneth over. I didn't TRY that hard. I just worked off what I had, where I was, with the people that were there...& had a support person there. I received GREAT referrals & feedback & more business off of it. 

Here is the lesson...that I have to remind myself of on a regular basis (still before every auction IF I keep myself aware of it). We are THE ONLY PERSON that can carry out our role. We have exactly what we need, where we are, with the right people around us. We are called to walk, one foot in front of the other, owning our AWESOME. There is NO ONE else that can do what you are doing! There is not one of those wealthy, intelligent, successful people that could have done what The Holy Spirit did through me. There is something I said before I got there that just intrigues me: "I'm just gonna have to let The Holy Spirit lead me on this one." Now I say..."Holy Spirit don't leave me & help me submit to you." It is hard. It really is a battle between our flesh (the impulses & thoughts & ideas of this world) & our spirit (that part of us that surpasses our fleshy understanding that has this divine connection to our maker). It's like a battle of CONTROL vs. SUBMISSION & we win, when we submit...which is not what the world tells us.

 At The Gathering that night...there is NO DOUBT in my mind that The Holy Spirit filled every one of those ladies up, with all the right STUFF to share their story in the name of JESUS! Every single speaker shared words that resonated with me & I'm sure those same speakers resonated with each person there, differently! That is the mysterious, AWESOME power of The Holy Spirit!

Buck Up Baby! Ride With Jesus, & OWN your awesome!! You are the ONLY person that can carry out the mission at hand. You are the only person that can share your piece of Jesus to others & help them to know Him better. DO NOT let the enemy rob you, manipulate you, trick you, or diminish you. Rebuke your menagerie of crazy & stand BOLDLY in the place where you are called. Because of our flesh, there is no doubt that we will continually wrestle with this, BUT you have been chosen. You are enough. You are needed. You are equipped. You are called. You are protected. You will prosper. You will provide. You will fulfill.You can not be compared to ANYONE. More will happen through you than anything you can even imagine. 

 

God Bless!

 

OPERATION GET HEALTHY: Day 3

Yesterday was day 3 & my little boy was still sick.... He actually felt worse than he did the day before, which meant - he NEEDED to be loved on more.

When I started the Advocare 24-Day Challenge...I had EVERY intention of TOTALLY sticking to it...eating all the meals they listed in the plan....all the snacks...all the meals...all of it. Well...let's just say that when you have a little one that just doesn't feel good & you're waking up with him & you don't get very good sleep... Sleep becomes more important than food, or staying on your schedule, or any of that. I stayed on it to the very best of my ability.

I woke up to get my little girl to school, but my little boy woke up with me and just wanted to be held. I couldn't get his HIGH fever (103.8) to break, so I just held him & we both nodded back off... I finally sneaked away & let him sleep to have my Spark & my fiber drink, but by the time I finished those...Heath woke up and it was almost time for lunch, so then I had some greek yougurt for my snack and had a late lunch of whole grain organic spaghetti, 93/7 ground beef & a salad. All circumstances perfect...I wouldn't have had the same meal again for supper, but with a sick little one...it's just the way it was. I'm TOTALLY good with it. Lot's healthier than how I would have normally ate & enjoyed it just as much. Since I had more starch than what I would've liked to have...I skipped the snack between lunch and dinner & then wound up skipping the last one....because I had a little boy laying on me & I was exhausted. I didn't feel overly hungry though..... I've been talking to a couple of friends who have told me that they can feel a difference in their energy since starting. I can say that I don't feel that yet... MAINLY because I'm not getting enough sleep. It will come...I feel healthier for sure. I did have some cravings for some of the comfort foods I usually would have went for, but totally resisted and just went and cuddled with little man. Good news is his fever is GONE & he's back to himself.

Chapter 3 in The Daniel Plan talks all about FAITH & how that is the foundation for our success...not only in our health journey, but every journey, I can speak to this because I had a situation that COMPLETELY caused me to step out in FAITH & I'm thankful for that experience because I understand the potential rewards that come from it. Have any of you ever had the thought: "I just wish someone who KNOWS more than I do, would tell me what to do next." I reached that point in a FIERCE way at the end of 2013. I knew I was in a job that didn't have much to do with my God-given purpose...no matter which way I spun it. I also knew God wasn't going to waste the experience, but I had to get off that path. However, getting off that path looked SCARY. I'm talkin' pay cuts, people thinkin' I'm crazy, stepping out into LOTS of unknowns, puttin' lots of puzzles together - which means trial and error, criticism, a nervous husband, nervous family....TOTALLY steppin' off the path I'd been on (which lots of people can understand) onto a new one, which I didn't even totally understand, much less anyone else.... BUT I DID IT. I really don't know how to put it into words, but I wish I could. I'll just list out some of the ways it has changed my life: less fear, less nervousness, less worry, money doesn't control my life anymore, I have a deeper (& getting deeper every day) relationship with The Holy Trinity, self-esteem is way better, my husband's relationship with Christ is growing & so are my kids, I want to know MORE, I'm able to help people more, I know I'm capable of WAY more than I thought I was, I'm less fearful, I PRAY more, I'm able to help others in more ways than I did before, I've added to tools to my toolbag & I'm good with them, I witnessed the value others saw in my....at maybe one of the lowest points I've been at in years, I've gained more people that believe in this journey I've set out on, & I know that I have a different relationship with God, Jesus, & The Holy Spirit. ALL of EQUAL importance & all continuing to grOW. That's not even all of'm. FAITH is one of the most powerful tools to have in your toolbag. I can say that I know I am protected on this health journey & I'm supported not only with The Holy Trinity, but by my friends and family - in all the ways I need them.

The Daniel Plan & The Purpose Driven Life, will both tell you that the BEST way to deepen your faith is to read The Bible. If you want to, but don't know how...just tell God. The Holy Spirit will go to work & before you know it, you will have a plan, a friend, and develop a routine that leads to another routine. Just INVITE God in, Through the scripture you read...The Holy Spirit will pull at your heart & soul & spirit and just MOVE you. You probably won't understand it until you do it. I'm not gonna tell you how, because God will show you how. Everyone has a different way to get there. My very good friend always says: "The Holy Spirit is a gentleman. You have to invite Him in." He wants to know you want Him. You will than have the guidance in your life from God Almighty that knows EVERYTHING you need to know.

I'll end this post by urging you to think about ten ways you would finish this sentence. (This is an exercise out of The Daniel Plan.): "It's just like me to...." Some of them may have some truth & some of them may be unGodly beliefs you have about yourself. Either way...once you identify them...Pray that God helps you work those out. Invite him in & THANK HIM in advance,

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! The fun ride starts when you open that Bible! God bless!

Day 31:"Understanding Your Shape"

Thanks guys for hangin' in with me! Its been a BusY couple weeks. Tonight I felt EXTREMELY compelled to write this blog. I've fallen behind, so hopefully everyone that needed to catch up with the posts, has & we will carry on to Day 31 of the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. In the last post, we STARTED discussing our SHAPE. We discussed our Spiritual gifts & listening to our Heart.

Today we learn how to uncover, determine, figure out, & think about the rest of what creates our SHAPE. There is SO much in this book & so many ways this book can reach you, so PLEASE read it for yourself. I will share the things that just FLEW off the page at me.

We'll start with applying our Abilities. First off, the book says: "Your abilities are the natural talents you were born with." Let me tell ya...sometimes you don't even know you have'm. THIS is the most helpful thing for me (in terms of the guidance I was seeking) that this chapter had to offer: (Pastor Warren is discussing some people's ability to run a business.) "First, realize your ability came from God and give him the credit. Second, use your business to serve a need of others and too share your faith with unbelievers. Third, return at least a tithe (10 per cent) of the profit to God as an act of worship. Finally, make your goal to be a Kingdom Builder rather than just a Wealth Builder."

I have said before (in a number of different settings) that the MAIN reason I CONTINUE to pursue this whole auction career is because, through PRAYER, the thought came to my mind, I pursued it....cautiously at first, then proceeded to LEARN more about it & get my license. Many other "God" things have happened regarding it, since then. Here is what I strUGGle with. I WANT to give God the glory, but I don't know how.... I mean YES.... I SHARE my story with people, BUT I want to give him the glory in the act & I have not figured out HOW. I mean....how to do it where it will be EFFECTIVE.....where people will be RECEPTIVE to it....where people will KNOW it is GENUINE & where all the.....static of this world doesn't cloud...or hinder my actions.

Here's the part I'm struggling with: "Second, use your business to serve a need of others and too share your faith with unbelievers." - Here is how I see it & what I have a HARD time CONVEYING to others: (I will just speak plainly.) In the small communities, surrounding my hometown, I have WITNESSED how support systems (communities, families & friends, cause supporters, local business owners, etc.) have come together to shine light in the darkness & GENERATE life-changing funds for causes, organizations, and individuals that NEED it....through the LIVE Auction method. BELIEVE ME...there is an overwhelming need EVERYWHERE for what a LIVE AUCTION can bring & every single one of us has a web of connections that can be used to SUPPORT any NEED out there.

Where I struggle is ACTUALLY sharing my faith...IN THE ACT. It is not that I don't want to...it can be a number of different things such as: the intensity of event day & all the announcements that need to be made, all the people that want/need to make announcements, the numerous small fires that have to be put out like equipment malfunctions, lack of connectivity, people not showing up, etc. I KNOW the MAIN part of this is me though....& how (& why) I'm holding back.....it's the "unbelievers." Not JUST the unbelievers of CHRIST, but the unbelievers in WHAT I'm doing, WHY I'm doing it, HOW I'm doing it, WHEN I'm doing it..... This whole "doing something MOST people don't get" business is the hardest thing I've ever done. NO DOUBT....but.....I would do it over AGAIN in a heartbeat....and it seems like most people just don't get that. This whole MINISTERING to others business ain't easy. I mean....you THINK you are a believer...& THEN...you come to a VERY EVIDENT crossroad...that makes you talk to people, go places, & do things you either didn't want to do OR had NO IDEA you'd have the time or ABILITY to do them......and you just stand there, looking in both directions KNOWING which way you HAVE to go, but not wanting to...& you take the step anyway. That is FAITH my friends & you will be rewarded for it. Just typing this has revealed to me how much CONTROL outside things have over us & how much work I have to do on myself to not let the "unbelievers" hinder the vision that I see & the use of MY God-given ABILITIES.

The next part of our SHAPE this chapter discusses is our Personality. We all know what our personality is like, but let me explain how I applied this part. As a licensed auctioneer there are ALL KINDS of auctions that I could call: auto, livestock, benefit/charity, real estate, estate liquidations, business liquidations, storage units...you get my drift. The simplest way for me to know what direction my SHAPE is taking me is to look at all those options & go to what I would like to do. It doesn't have to be just one & it could change throughout my life. I will use my SHAPE: Spiritual Gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, & (later we'll talk about Experiences) to continue to share my MINISTRY with others. Another way to look at is this way: 2 Auctioneers, selling in the same industry....let's just say...2 estate auction companies... Each auctioneer can bring totally different gifts to their customers by their personalities. One may bring knowledge, guidance, & services & be very well-respected, while the other brings fresh marketing ideas, enthusiasm, & has a unique way of connecting with a crowd.  

The last part of our SHAPE is our Experiences. Here are the experiences the book asks us to examine: family experiences, educational experiences, vocational experiences (jobs you were good at), spiritual experiences, ministry experiences (ways you've served God), & painful experiences. Yeah...go ahead and make that list & say a prayer. It'll sure help you connect the dots. Also know this: "Only shared experiences can help others." The book goes on to discuss how God uses those painful experiences to stretch us & grow us & our need to share them with others. I know....they are the toughest ones to share.

Here's our daily stuff:

"Point to Ponder: Nobody else can be me."

Daily Bible Verse: "God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings." 1 Peter 4:10 (LB)

Daily Question: "What God-given ability or personal experience can I offer to my church?"

From my journal the first time of reading: Blogging, writing, sharing open & honest experiences, auctions, asking tough questions

Yeah....now I know that I can offer all kinds of gifts, abilities, & experiences to my church, my family, my friends, & complete strangers.

God BLESS you all! Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! LEARN your SHAPE. It takes a little deep-diggin,' but you'll be glad you did.

Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037