Fasting and Rhythm

 12/27/14 - I have recently finished fasting from ALL liquid. except water. It originally started out as a 40-day fast & turned into a 47-day fast. I had made a decision to start reading The Bible daily & I started by reading from The Golden Book Children's Bible. The majority of this Bible is Old Testament. Even though it is a Children's Bible, it goes into quite a bit of detail & still took some research to really try and understand some of the messages. After I would read an Old Testament story...I would randomly open my New Testament Bible & read whatever story it took me to. A few days into doing this.... "40 days" kept popping up & I just felt led to start my fast.

I learned A LOT from this fast, this Bible time, & I KNOW that I strengthened my relationship with God. The lesson I want to share with you is that 7 days into this fast, I was at an auction. It was a pretty big success (for several reasons) & a very close family friend asked me if they could buy me a beer. I politely declined twice. As they persisted the third time, I told them I really didn't need one, but still allowed them to buy me a beer and drank it. I came home & had my Bible time & dinner as I just sat there and prayed & talked to God about it. I asked for forgiveness, but the whole time...felt an immense amount of joy & peace & thankfulness....for how the auction turned out for everyone involved. I remember thinking how I would have normally been MUCH harder on myself about caving, but....THANKS BE TO GOD....the JOY won out.

Fast forward to Day 40. We were at our friends' house in South Texas. The night before they wanted us all to have a glass of eggnog & I politely declined...kindly passing it off as being tired (which I was), but not sharing WHY I didn't want any. The next day, all us girls went to town shopping & we talked about all kinds of Bible things & my fast included, because I felt comfortable sharing with her. That night...her husband asked me if I wanted eggnog 3 times. I awkwardly turned him down & the third time he poured me a glass. I can tell you that, if I hadn't told my friend earlier in the day & had her support, I am almost positive I would have buckled....on DAY 40. I had mixed emotions about that. Really disappointed that I didn't know how to stand firm, with someone I feel pretty comfortable around....or how to share WHY I was doing it....or being WORRIED about how people would perceive it...or not knowing how to explain it.

So I went to the room we were staying in, started praying & talked to God about the whole thing & brought up the 7th day beer & asked God to just show me if he wanted me to fast 7 more days, or if it should be over. There were two things that popped out to me in my reading for that day. I started reading about Jesus's arrest. The first lesson was about Peter denying Jesus 3 times before the cock crowed. What resonated with me was the number 3 & how bitter he was towards himself. I also read where Pontius Pilate wanted to release Jesus & the third time/chance for him to release Him, he turned to the crowd & condemned Jesus because THE CROWD wanted him dead.  (Luke 22:54-23:25) I mean...it was like a reaction...a survival mechanism, but survival from what? I think it was created because of the worry of peoples' perceptions of them. It is so frustrating for me to read stories in The Bible (both Old and New Testaments) where people buckle so quickly from what they feel the need to do(which is The Holy Spirit leading them)...just to please people. Then I turned around and did the same thing. Needless to say.... I decided to go seven more days. Right now, I feel like holding firm a third time puts your feet on solid ground.

A few days later I read about Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan.  Jesus had fasted for 40 days and nights. First the devil said to him: "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread." Jesus answered him saying: "It is WRITTEN: Man shall not live by bread alone, buy by every word that comes out of the mouth of God." Then the devil says to  Jesus: "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written that He shall put his angels in charge of you to keep you safe, and they shall catch you in their hands, lest you strike your foot against a stone." Jesus said to him: "It is WRITTEN also: You shall not tempt the Lord your God," Then the devil took him to the top of a very big mountain & showed him all the kingdoms & said to Jesus: "All these things I will give you, if you will fall down & worship me." Then Jesus said: "Away, Satan. For it is WRITTEN: You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve." Then the devil LEFT him.....after the third test...& the angels came and ministered to Jesus. (Matthew Chapter 4). I also want to point out that even the Son of God uses Scripture when dealing with the devil.

A few days ago as I was cleaning & getting my house ready for Christmas company.....a note that I had typed on my phone back in May popped up. I don't really think anything is random anymore...it may seem like it, but EVERYTHING has purpose. It was a note I had typed during a T.D. Jakes sermon I had watched. I want to start out by saying that I (just a few days before I saw this note) did not agree with something that was posted on T.D. Jakes's social media site. As I read the comments and realized that A LOT of people also disagreed & some had also made the decision to quit following him all together....I remembered how important forgiveness is & not condemning. I thought about all the forgiveness I've been shown by God and people in my life & made the decision that I don't have to agree with everything everyone says, BUT I can take away & apply what I do agree with.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." -Proverbs 27:17

This sermon really gave me some structure in what to look for, as I started building my TEAM this year. When I say "TEAM," I think about the people in my corner & the people's corner that I WANT to be in.

"You need people with your rhythm. If they don't have your rhythm; they will find you abusive."

"Create a system that supports your rhythm."

"Develop what you need to sustain you."

"You can't explain to a turtle a giraffe decision." (Important to note that turtles can do things giraffes can't & vice versa.) I've also learned that turtles & giraffes can be in the same rhythm carrying out different tasks.

"There are people that feed you & people that deplete you."

"When you need to get fed....get fed. Then go out and feed others. Go back and get fed when you need it."

 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 speaks to this. It discusses how people are given different gifts, but they all work together as one....even though their skills and talents are different.

In many books throughout The Bible (Romans, 1 Corinthians, 1 Peter, Psalms...) we are reminded of the importance to take care of ourselves....mind, body, soul, & spirit. I think one of the key things to doing this (that I didn't really understand, or know how to go about getting there) is creating a support system that can suffice the UniQue needs that you have. The right people are put in our lives for that very purpose.

As this year winds down & I reflect back on my spiritual growth, my growth in relationships closest to me, & growth in my business - which is also part of my ministry & maybe my mission...I really am left in awe. I have to battle different things daily, like: people pleasing, fear of all kinds, judgement of myself and others, learning to forgive - even when I don't want to, letting go of control....amongst other things. However, I am MOST thankful this year, for my courage to leave the working for someone else world to enter the working for myself world. That decision has helped me to really focus on all the things that REALLY matter and allowed me the freedom to do it. I'm still figuring things out, but I will be for the rest of my life. I'm thankful for my awareness. Pay attention to things: talents, the people that fill you up, the people that deplete you, the people that need you, the gifts God is giving you...just be aware.

Buck Up Baby & ride with Jesus.

Pruning

 Life with God is SUCH an adventure. It is a roller-coaster of emotions. One of my greatest blessings are friends, that love Jesus as much as I do AND love to come together in fellowship over Him.

This week, I had several things happen where I felt: betrayed, blind-sided, and disrespected. All were swarming around the same group of influence, and well....I did not feel cared about, by those I care about. 

And it stung. 

The day before, I received a similar message, that was so much easier for me to release into the hands of Jesus. But the next one stung and I was having a much harder time letting it go. What I mean by "letting it go" is laying it at Jesus's feet and moving on with life....my to-do list.......my project at hand. It was like it kept tapping me on my forehead, and so finally.....I sent a message to two friends; both of which I count as SUCH blessings. When you find friends that you can talk Jesus with, pray for them, bless them, love them, be available to them and count your blessings. One of the coolest things that happens with friends like that, is: as you sit there working out your questions and concerns, discussing The Word and other life experiences, you recognize the movement of The Holy Spirit. Two of us were blessed to experience that together and Oh! How that changed the entire trajectory of the situation. 

I've talked and wrote before about how God blesses our obedience, but He surprises me with it EVERY time. We are just sitting there talking....and we had a lengthy discussion about the pruning process, what it looks like when you trim old growth back to create room for new growth, what God says about pruning in scripture, and so on. We near the end of the conversation, I recline back in my chair and have the SUDDEN REALIZATION that God gave me a DIRECT answer to my obedience. 

Image credit to: Wenke Greenhouses in Kalamazoo, Michigan - LINK HERE

My hang up was, that I would not have chose it for myself. However, I have been through this uncomfortable, and the most recent time, mournful experience before. I resisted and contemplated that first "pruning" hard....or at least the first one that I became aware of how God was working. I, myself didn't really want this person pruned out of my life, but every time I prayed into it I'd get a "whoa." That's what I call it. I'd get the "whoa" when I was about to send that text, or about to make that call. Now, I understand a little better. 

In my most recent situation, where I phoned a friend, I wasn't focusing on that type of pruning. I was looking at it as more of a  "type of work" pruning. It is definitely that, because that is what I layed out my own personal boundaries to, prayed to Him about, and put into motion. What He ALSO did, was bless me with the ability to see the hearts of others. See the hearts of others I have invested my time and energy into. He's teaching me how to prune also, so we can prune together...and maybe more than anything...help me to let it go sooner.

John 15:1-17

Yes, I am left in awe. It is still bittersweet, but I know it is for my good. How our God is so subtle and yet SO powerful. 

Seeing God work, yet physically seeing nothing.....that is the supernatural work of God. It truly is INCREDIBLE. Words don't even do it justice. I want to ENCOURAGE YOU to Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! He sees things we do not and HE MAKES A WAY!

Believers & Nonbelievers

On my way home yesterday evening, I had a little over an hour drive time and I found myself pondering how the Holy Spirit brings believers and nonbelievers together.

I took part in an education program that consisted of one week of intense, advanced industry education, over a three year period. This industry, is a male dominated industry and me and my roommate were blessed to spend two of those three years together.

We bonded. We identified with each other on so many levels, but one area where we were on opposite ends of the spectrum was our faith.

We opened up conversation about faith, when she saw me reading my Bible & journaling. Approximately a year before I met her I decided to work towards something that had been placed on my heart, which is reading the Bible cover to cover.

Her question to me was: “What makes you feel so strongly that God exists.” She shared that she was not a believer.

My answer was: “ There have been significant moments in my life that I KNOW could have only been turned around by the power of Jesus. It transcended human ability and understanding.”

At that point, I didn’t go into detail, but she thanked me for being able to openly talk about what both of us believe in & that, in all of her experiences with sharing her beliefs, she had felt condemned or judged.

I can say in all truth, that NOTHING she told me made me think of her any less, at all. In fact, I think it made our bond grow stronger and I believe we will always be each other‘s cheerleader in life. Wherever her beliefs are, I love her right where she’s at, just how she is. She is building a beautiful life for herself, attacking her dreams & I am SO proud of her.

God is slowly but surely teaching me to just walk and be obedient and be kind and to guard my heart and mind.

Buck up Baby and say YES to Jesus! Say YES to love! Say YES to fellowship! Say YES!

I believe that God loves all people and he loves all people so much that he sent Jesus for us all to have the opportunity to know Him without hindrance, without shame, & without the judgment of sin.

Day 11: "Becoming Best Friends With God"

Welcome Readers!! Today is Day 11 on our journey through the book: A Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

This is such a beautiful chapter. It discusses how we can all DEVELOP a friendship with GOD, JESUS, & THE HOLY SPIRIT & gives us examples from the Bible to help us along the way.

So I have a DIffeRent type of friendship with EACH member of The Holy Trinity. The summer between my Freshman & Sophomore year of high school I had...what is probably my DEEPEST & LONGEST prayer session with God to date. It changed my life. I REALLY developed my FAITH that night. We are ALL HIS, but....GOD took hold of me that day & I KNEW...no matter how HARD things would get...HE HAD ME. From that point though...my relationship with The Holy Spirit began to develop. I was YOUNG, so I didn't know a whole lot about them, BUT I knew what I needed to. I understood in that prayer session that The Holy Spirit would ALWAYS be with me...to guide me, to help me form the RIGHT words and actions, to PROTECT me & I would CONSCIOUSLY acknowledge that throughout my day. I look back now & it may seem like I did it in a selfish way, BUT it was the way God knew I needed him.

Then...as I started to go to church with my boyfriend...husband now...I REALLY came to know Jesus. I credit this to St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Fayetteville, TX & my Mother-In-Law. I had a different experience than what it seems like most people have with the Catholic Church. I wasn't Catholic. I was Lutheran...& a Lutheran that hadn't been to church in years. Not that I didn't VALUE my relationship with God (really at that time my relationship with The Holy Spirit), but I would venture to say I'm analytical & I WANT to KNOW MORE...always. I remember the first time I went to church with him. I was EXCITED & NERVOUS, but I felt so OVERWHELMING drawn in to the church & accepted. It is hard to explain really. I went to church there for nearly 6 years before I decided to convert to Catholicism during Kyle & I's engagement. I didn't kneel, or do the sign of the cross, or say the Catholic dinner prayer at meals UNTIL I was confirmed in the church on Easter Saturday. I NEVER felt JUDGED. I really do know how that can sound a bit contradicting. I mean...I didn't kneel like the Catholics, didn't receive communion, didn't pray the same prayers, BUT I began to get this feeling like they wanted me to....like they WANTED me to be a part of it...like I was respected on a level I needed. I'm older than my husband & was in Jr. College when he was going to his CCD classes. It seemed like I ALWAYS had studying to do & I'd go along with him & sit in the truck & study. I was invited in to work inside a couple times, but I REALLY didn't want to for any other reason than I like to study all cramped up like that. Then Kyle's class was going to go see The Passion. His teacher told him to invite me. That I may have to pay for my ticket, but I was WELCOME to come. I was TOTALLY down for it. When we got to the church his teacher told me that the church was paying for it. I offered SEVERAL times to pay, but he said Father Jack approved it. We were in a van & I'm not kidding when I say that I don't think I stopped talking the ENTIRE way home. His teacher opened up discussion & I just went to discussin'. I KNOW this time in my life helped me to know Jesus....helped me to become CLOSE friends with Jesus...really BEST FRIENDS.

A few weeks ago I started meditating on how I know Jesus, but who I really need to spend some time getting to know is God. I'm being 100% HONEST here. I felt a mild sense of loss because I knew that would mean less time for Jesus. I mean...when I prayed it was to God, but by the end of it...I was talkin' to Jesus & giving it ALL to him. I also felt afraid...like I wasn't worthy...like I needed to do more work...like God would JUDGE me more harshly. Then...as I was shopping at Sam's with my Mother-In-Law I saw this book standing out on the shelf with NO other books beside it. I picked it up & read the first few pages. I looked to find another because it challenges you to read as a team. I found her....kind of told her I wanted her to read the book with me & here we are....& NOW I am building my friendship with God. Looking back...I can see WHY my friendships have developed the way they have. HE WILL NOT GIVE US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE.

Here's what it's like for me: The Holy Spirit is like the friend that LOVES you unconditionally...TOTALLY. Like the friend that is holding your hair back & dragging you back to the hotel after too many drinks & then acts like NOTHING happened the next morning.

Jesus is the friend that is forgiving because he's been through ALL of it. He UNDERSTANDS why you do the things you do & KNOWS that you didn't know any better. Kind of like a mentor or a big brother.

God...now God. He is the friend that LOVES you unconditionally & will ALWAYS PUSH you to be MORE. It's not enough for Him to ease your troubles & have your back when no one else will. It's not enough to understand that life is tough and settle with that. HE WANTS US TO BE ALL HE MADE US TO BE! HE SEES POTENTIAL & knows, to be a good friend, he has to PUSH us. And my friends, you've gotta have some grit to ya. He is (what sometimes seems) BRUTALLY HONEST with you. He will show you things about yourself that you disliked SO much you forgot about'm. He will REVEAL things about you & your experiences that you didn't even know happened. His LIGHT is SO bright that NOTHING goes uncovered. Then....he'll MAKE you face them. Then...when you drag your feet...he will place a sense of urgency on you...that makes you VERY aware. One of my best friends just shared this video of a little girl telling the story of Jonah....& (I'm just sayin') I don't want it to get that far.

My best advice is: Don't force it. It will all come naturally to you. When I was in high school, I wasn't even THINKING about Jesus's journey. I was worried about my own. A few weeks ago I was draggin' my feet on REALLY gettin' to know God & He wasn't havin' that! God will GIVE you what YOU need & he knows EXACTLY what that is.

There is SO much more in this chapter that will help you develop your friendships with The Holy Trinity. One of the BEST & biggest take aways I got from this chapter is this: "If you know how to worry, you already know how to meditate! You just need to switch your attention from your problems to Bible verses." This book urges you to write down these daily verses & keep them with you & work on memorizing them. This is EXACTLY the tool I needed. This is my second time reading the book & there is only one verse that I have memorized (from the book) to where I don't have to double-check the chapter & verse number: "Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Mark 12:30

Here's the Daily Info:

"Point to Ponder: God wants to be my best friend."

Daily Verse: "Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him." Psalm 25:14A (LB)

Daily Question: "What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to him more often throughout the day."

From my journal the first day of reading: I feel like this is something I learned to develop the summer between my Freshman & Sophomore year of high school & I am blessed to still do it. The one thing I NEED and want to do is learn his word. I need to get my note cards & put Bible verses on there, so I can really start letting God speak to me more often.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! He'll take you to GOD & do some teachin' along the way! God Bless!