12/27/14 - I have recently finished fasting from ALL liquid. except water. It originally started out as a 40-day fast & turned into a 47-day fast. I had made a decision to start reading The Bible daily & I started by reading from The Golden Book Children's Bible. The majority of this Bible is Old Testament. Even though it is a Children's Bible, it goes into quite a bit of detail & still took some research to really try and understand some of the messages. After I would read an Old Testament story...I would randomly open my New Testament Bible & read whatever story it took me to. A few days into doing this.... "40 days" kept popping up & I just felt led to start my fast.
I learned A LOT from this fast, this Bible time, & I KNOW that I strengthened my relationship with God. The lesson I want to share with you is that 7 days into this fast, I was at an auction. It was a pretty big success (for several reasons) & a very close family friend asked me if they could buy me a beer. I politely declined twice. As they persisted the third time, I told them I really didn't need one, but still allowed them to buy me a beer and drank it. I came home & had my Bible time & dinner as I just sat there and prayed & talked to God about it. I asked for forgiveness, but the whole time...felt an immense amount of joy & peace & thankfulness....for how the auction turned out for everyone involved. I remember thinking how I would have normally been MUCH harder on myself about caving, but....THANKS BE TO GOD....the JOY won out.
Fast forward to Day 40. We were at our friends' house in South Texas. The night before they wanted us all to have a glass of eggnog & I politely declined...kindly passing it off as being tired (which I was), but not sharing WHY I didn't want any. The next day, all us girls went to town shopping & we talked about all kinds of Bible things & my fast included, because I felt comfortable sharing with her. That night...her husband asked me if I wanted eggnog 3 times. I awkwardly turned him down & the third time he poured me a glass. I can tell you that, if I hadn't told my friend earlier in the day & had her support, I am almost positive I would have buckled....on DAY 40. I had mixed emotions about that. Really disappointed that I didn't know how to stand firm, with someone I feel pretty comfortable around....or how to share WHY I was doing it....or being WORRIED about how people would perceive it...or not knowing how to explain it.
So I went to the room we were staying in, started praying & talked to God about the whole thing & brought up the 7th day beer & asked God to just show me if he wanted me to fast 7 more days, or if it should be over. There were two things that popped out to me in my reading for that day. I started reading about Jesus's arrest. The first lesson was about Peter denying Jesus 3 times before the cock crowed. What resonated with me was the number 3 & how bitter he was towards himself. I also read where Pontius Pilate wanted to release Jesus & the third time/chance for him to release Him, he turned to the crowd & condemned Jesus because THE CROWD wanted him dead. (Luke 22:54-23:25) I mean...it was like a reaction...a survival mechanism, but survival from what? I think it was created because of the worry of peoples' perceptions of them. It is so frustrating for me to read stories in The Bible (both Old and New Testaments) where people buckle so quickly from what they feel the need to do(which is The Holy Spirit leading them)...just to please people. Then I turned around and did the same thing. Needless to say.... I decided to go seven more days. Right now, I feel like holding firm a third time puts your feet on solid ground.
A few days later I read about Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan. Jesus had fasted for 40 days and nights. First the devil said to him: "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread." Jesus answered him saying: "It is WRITTEN: Man shall not live by bread alone, buy by every word that comes out of the mouth of God." Then the devil says to Jesus: "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written that He shall put his angels in charge of you to keep you safe, and they shall catch you in their hands, lest you strike your foot against a stone." Jesus said to him: "It is WRITTEN also: You shall not tempt the Lord your God," Then the devil took him to the top of a very big mountain & showed him all the kingdoms & said to Jesus: "All these things I will give you, if you will fall down & worship me." Then Jesus said: "Away, Satan. For it is WRITTEN: You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve." Then the devil LEFT him.....after the third test...& the angels came and ministered to Jesus. (Matthew Chapter 4). I also want to point out that even the Son of God uses Scripture when dealing with the devil.
A few days ago as I was cleaning & getting my house ready for Christmas company.....a note that I had typed on my phone back in May popped up. I don't really think anything is random anymore...it may seem like it, but EVERYTHING has purpose. It was a note I had typed during a T.D. Jakes sermon I had watched. I want to start out by saying that I (just a few days before I saw this note) did not agree with something that was posted on T.D. Jakes's social media site. As I read the comments and realized that A LOT of people also disagreed & some had also made the decision to quit following him all together....I remembered how important forgiveness is & not condemning. I thought about all the forgiveness I've been shown by God and people in my life & made the decision that I don't have to agree with everything everyone says, BUT I can take away & apply what I do agree with.
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." -Proverbs 27:17
This sermon really gave me some structure in what to look for, as I started building my TEAM this year. When I say "TEAM," I think about the people in my corner & the people's corner that I WANT to be in.
"You need people with your rhythm. If they don't have your rhythm; they will find you abusive."
"Create a system that supports your rhythm."
"Develop what you need to sustain you."
"You can't explain to a turtle a giraffe decision." (Important to note that turtles can do things giraffes can't & vice versa.) I've also learned that turtles & giraffes can be in the same rhythm carrying out different tasks.
"There are people that feed you & people that deplete you."
"When you need to get fed....get fed. Then go out and feed others. Go back and get fed when you need it."
1 Corinthians 12:1-11 speaks to this. It discusses how people are given different gifts, but they all work together as one....even though their skills and talents are different.
In many books throughout The Bible (Romans, 1 Corinthians, 1 Peter, Psalms...) we are reminded of the importance to take care of ourselves....mind, body, soul, & spirit. I think one of the key things to doing this (that I didn't really understand, or know how to go about getting there) is creating a support system that can suffice the UniQue needs that you have. The right people are put in our lives for that very purpose.
As this year winds down & I reflect back on my spiritual growth, my growth in relationships closest to me, & growth in my business - which is also part of my ministry & maybe my mission...I really am left in awe. I have to battle different things daily, like: people pleasing, fear of all kinds, judgement of myself and others, learning to forgive - even when I don't want to, letting go of control....amongst other things. However, I am MOST thankful this year, for my courage to leave the working for someone else world to enter the working for myself world. That decision has helped me to really focus on all the things that REALLY matter and allowed me the freedom to do it. I'm still figuring things out, but I will be for the rest of my life. I'm thankful for my awareness. Pay attention to things: talents, the people that fill you up, the people that deplete you, the people that need you, the gifts God is giving you...just be aware.
Buck Up Baby & ride with Jesus.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, December 30, 2024
Tuesday, March 21, 2023
Training Ground
This blog will be about getting where I'm going. The lessons have to take place somewhere and people must witness our imperfections. Lately, I've been reflecting on what has gotten me here.
I think about one of my other titles....Mom. Kyle and I just had a conversation with our 3 kids. They like to ask questions about each other like...."What was Kylee like as a baby?" "Was Hunter as chunky as Heath was?" Somehow we got on the subject of Kylee being the oldest and she asked why we did something and Kyle said...LOL "You were the first one. We didn't know what we were doing."
As we enter different stages of our lives we NEED a training ground. As I make an attempt at relating the two and try to truly capture how GRATEFUL I am for my training grounds, hang with me. I hope this allows you all to have some nostalgic moments FULL of gratefulness for YOUR journey.
I remember when I was teetering on the idea of building my own business, having the flexibility to buILD the life I envisioned for myself and my family, knocking some barriers down - that were in my way and weighing every. single. thing. I mean....EVERYTHING.
One of the things that hung me up for awhile was that, up until that point, I had prided myself on my quality of work and I KNEW I would not have the background support....you know, like an accounting department, production department, HR department, like I was used to. I also had never done, what I was getting ready to do so.....I was going in with as much education as I could gather, before beginning the journey blind...and taking others with me. What I mean by that is minimal experience. I had my life experiences on the periphreal of the actual nuts and bolts of the business, but no REAL boots on the ground experience. I had experience within departments of PART of the business. Because I am a person that puts the work in, I had to make damn sure - this JOURNEY I was getting ready to take everyone on was a long-term plan and that I was up for a long adventure. I feel like that again, but that's all that seems familiar. I feel like the next leg of the journey could go several different ways. I also know that it could go different directions than what I'm even aware of, because well....our God is BIG.
All the feels of this space are so familiar. Imagine.....uncertainty...excitement....motivation...fear of acting....holding onto what I know - instead of just acting.... I know God is always right on time and I can't mess it up, but I always find myself thinking I am missing some sort of CLEAR message and I am getting in my own way.
I digress....
As parents, we are to "raise our children in the way they should go, so they do not stray from it." Each one of our children have very unique traits and characteristics and God took into account Kyle and I being first time parents, when he blessed us with Kylee. He knew we had what it took to have a second child, change careers, and move home & form an LLC....all at the same time. He also knew that another human needed all of what all four of us could give him. As I reflect on the environments we were in with each three....I'm in awe of Him.
God KNOWS how I think....and think....and overthink. He provided an opportunity for me to EXPLORE. When I talked to Kyle about it, he was open to it.......and ALL the things had to happen in our lives for him to be open to it. What a wonderful training ground He took us to in Rockport. Three and a half hours from home. He removed distractions and allowed us to focus on us and become who He was calling us to.
As I sit here typing, and being more aware of the things The Good Lord is calling me to do. I see the last 12 or so years of my life as yet, another training ground. One where people had to witness my growth, the growth of my family, the growth of my faith, the successes, the perceived failures, the way in which I move in between them. Just like I was thankful for my Rockport training ground. I am thankful for this one. This one had a few more dips and curves and peaks and valleys. Now, He is calling US to more. We don't know PRECISELY what it is, but He is and we will find out along the way.
We all have our training ground, and I have come to believe that God may have multiple purposes for us. OBEDIENCE....EXPLORATION....TRUST....FAITH....COURAGE....PERSEVERANCE... When you BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS it takes all of those things. You best, put them in your saddle bags.
One of the missions God has for me is simply, sharing my story and sharing my faith, with the hope and intention that it will ENCOURAGE someone else to get to know Jesus. This blog itself, is yet another training ground, where I get to use all the tools in bold above. When you make the choice and saddle up...you will experience it ALL. Your life will be FULL....abundant even. There will be cold, exhausting nights, where you are too broke (in a variety of ways) to do anything but rest....in the cold. Then....He will pick you up out of it and you will be stronger and smarter and better prepared for the next part of the journey.....and it will be an ADVENTURE you would never, ever trade.
Yes....people will come and go, in and out of your life....and it will HURT. It will bring you grief and sadness and turmoil, but only for a short while. You see, God loves them too. He is teaching them something, just as He's teaching you something. He WILL reward your obedience....small acts, large acts, and continual acts.
I encourage anyone reading to just sit with Him, even for a few brief moments. Let HIM speak to you, however He chooses and be receptive to hearing Him. Then....in His perfect timing, buck up baby & ride with Jesus!
Friday, January 2, 2015
My Prayer for 2015
We had a GREAT New Year's Eve Party at our new place with LOTS of family and friends. It feels good to be in our space and have the ability to invite people into it. I had all the right intentions of sharing this prayer at the party, but there were people in so many different places, plus I'm still learning how to gather everyone together for prayer.
I want to start with a prayer of THANKSGIVING. This year was filled with growth in my business, my marriage, my family, my relationship with The Holy Trinity, my friendships, my ideas...I've read The Bible more this year than I have my entire life. If there is one thing I can encourage everyone to do this year - read The Bible...however you can, in a way that works for you. When Satan tempted Jesus in the desert, Jesus quoted scripture ALL 3 times, which drove him away. Then God sent His angels to comfort and minister to Him. There is POWER in the Word of God. I'm the most thankful for finding the courage and the faith to quit my job in December 2013 and go to work for myself. When I followed thru with it...it was like doors opened that I didn't even know existed. I strengthened so many relationships and met so many amazing people that have helped me and my family develop as human beings. One of the biggest blessings of this year is learning that building your faith and working for God is WAY more important than working for money. It's taken a lot of self-work to own, believe, and have faith in that, but it's been shown to me over and over again and has, surely, given me more peace. I'm thankful for being blessed with our niece Ida. I'm thankful Uncle Fritzi's health was restored and for Grandma Pfeiffer's renewed strength and endurance. I'm thankful for having the opportunity to get to know Nila more. I'm thankful we've found Claire - who LOVES our children & we all LOVE her. I'm thankful for the health and growth of my precious family. I'm thankful for the newest journey I've embarked on - my real estate business. I'm thankful for ALL the lessons I've learned and my eagerness to learn more & I'm thankful for the DIVINE guidance - caring for us when we don't know how to care for ourselves - The Holy Spirit,
More than anything else this year....I want to be a source of encouragement to everyone I come in contact with and urge others to do the same. I've been blessed with a handful of people that have encouraged me thru the criticism I've encountered this past year. Be careful with your words. They can breathe life or kill dreams. Be positive and seek joy.
To everyone that celebrated New Year's Eve with us and to ALL our friends and family...I ask that you continue to pray for us this year....to support us in growing in ALL the areas that are important to us & to serve as a source of encouragement & lift us up as we fall. We will be doing the same for all of you. I urge you to not only pray for us, but for everyone that was there & everyone important to you. We are all human & need others to lift us up where we fall short.
"Just as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17
Here's to 2015, continued growth, and being a blessing and an encourager to other.
May God bless you ALL, in the name of Christ Jesus.
God, I ask that you cover these words with your everlasting LOVE, bless us, the people that read them & shine your light in all the areas of darkness we encounter in 2015.
Amen.
I want to start with a prayer of THANKSGIVING. This year was filled with growth in my business, my marriage, my family, my relationship with The Holy Trinity, my friendships, my ideas...I've read The Bible more this year than I have my entire life. If there is one thing I can encourage everyone to do this year - read The Bible...however you can, in a way that works for you. When Satan tempted Jesus in the desert, Jesus quoted scripture ALL 3 times, which drove him away. Then God sent His angels to comfort and minister to Him. There is POWER in the Word of God. I'm the most thankful for finding the courage and the faith to quit my job in December 2013 and go to work for myself. When I followed thru with it...it was like doors opened that I didn't even know existed. I strengthened so many relationships and met so many amazing people that have helped me and my family develop as human beings. One of the biggest blessings of this year is learning that building your faith and working for God is WAY more important than working for money. It's taken a lot of self-work to own, believe, and have faith in that, but it's been shown to me over and over again and has, surely, given me more peace. I'm thankful for being blessed with our niece Ida. I'm thankful Uncle Fritzi's health was restored and for Grandma Pfeiffer's renewed strength and endurance. I'm thankful for having the opportunity to get to know Nila more. I'm thankful we've found Claire - who LOVES our children & we all LOVE her. I'm thankful for the health and growth of my precious family. I'm thankful for the newest journey I've embarked on - my real estate business. I'm thankful for ALL the lessons I've learned and my eagerness to learn more & I'm thankful for the DIVINE guidance - caring for us when we don't know how to care for ourselves - The Holy Spirit,
More than anything else this year....I want to be a source of encouragement to everyone I come in contact with and urge others to do the same. I've been blessed with a handful of people that have encouraged me thru the criticism I've encountered this past year. Be careful with your words. They can breathe life or kill dreams. Be positive and seek joy.
To everyone that celebrated New Year's Eve with us and to ALL our friends and family...I ask that you continue to pray for us this year....to support us in growing in ALL the areas that are important to us & to serve as a source of encouragement & lift us up as we fall. We will be doing the same for all of you. I urge you to not only pray for us, but for everyone that was there & everyone important to you. We are all human & need others to lift us up where we fall short.
"Just as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17
Here's to 2015, continued growth, and being a blessing and an encourager to other.
May God bless you ALL, in the name of Christ Jesus.
God, I ask that you cover these words with your everlasting LOVE, bless us, the people that read them & shine your light in all the areas of darkness we encounter in 2015.
Amen.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Day 15: "Formed For God's Family"
Welcome! Welcome! Today we continue to Day 15 as we journey through the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.
Today is the beginning of the SECOND purpose the book discusses. So just when you think your mind has hit COMPLETE information OVERLOAD & things are starting to get a little foggy, it switches up on you & you start FOCUSING on ANOTHER important avenue of your life....people & RELATIONSHIPS.
"Point to Ponder: I was formed for God's family."
Daily Verse: "His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ." Ephesians 1:5A (NLT)
Daily Question: "How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family?"
From my Journal: When people hurt me, harm me, love me, loathe me, question me - REMEMBER that they are ALSO a child of God. They are also a unique, beautiful, and perfect being created by God for his love & his plan. They are on their own journey to Him & always be open and ready to let them back in.
I'm telling you now that this second purpose will make you REALLY look at things, IF you apply yourself. I mean the whole book does, BUT now that I have read it & understand the things I understand I am now responsible for how I move forward. Here are a few things this chapter discusses. It briefly points at some VERY important things, so I'll mention a little from them, because it will be discussed more later throughout this section of the book.
Our "spiritual family" lasts forever UNLIKE or physical family. From the book: "Your spiritual family is even more important than your physical family because it will last forever. Our families on earth are wonderful gifts from God, but they are temporary and fragile, often broken by divorce, distance, growing old, and inevitably, death. On the other hand, our spiritual family - our relationship to other believers - will continue throughout eternity." I KNOW.... a lot to take in.
One of my very best friends reminded me of something this weekend. We went to the same couples marriage retreat before we got married. My husband & I went a couple years before her & her husband, but one of the things that was told to us at the beginning of the retreat is that it was our responsibility to get our spouse to Heaven. This chapter didn't SHOW me this right away, but the further I read into this purpose, the MORE I realized that we have a responsibility to each other...not just spouses & parents to children & children to parents, but believer to believer & believer to non-believer & friends & frienimies & long-time friends & acquaintances & strangers....aunt/uncle to niece/nephew, grandparent to grandchildren, siblings...... We have to HELP each other get to Heaven.
The next part of this chapter discusses the BENEFITS of being a member of God's family. This was probably the part that I liked the most. The fourth one hit me to my core: "First, we will get to be with God forever. Second, we will be completely changed to be like Christ. Third, we will be freed from all pain, death, and suffering. Fourth, we will be rewarded and reassigned positions of service. Fifth, we will get to share in Christ's glory." Makes you wonder why so many people OBSESS about their inheritance when God gives us ALL the EQUAL OPPORTUNITY to share in His kingdom.
This chapter also talks about BAPTISM: why it is IMPORTANT, what it means, what it symbolizes. This is a celebration of becoming a part of God's family. The books says: "The only biblical condition is that you believe."
Last night I read about Pentecost in Acts & how thousands received & witnessed The Holy Spirit & how THOUSANDS were UNITED in CHRIST. I LOVE how it made me think that, THAT many more people enlisted in God's army.
Mount Up & Buck UP Baby & Ride with Jesus!! God Bless!!
Today is the beginning of the SECOND purpose the book discusses. So just when you think your mind has hit COMPLETE information OVERLOAD & things are starting to get a little foggy, it switches up on you & you start FOCUSING on ANOTHER important avenue of your life....people & RELATIONSHIPS.
"Point to Ponder: I was formed for God's family."
Daily Verse: "His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ." Ephesians 1:5A (NLT)
Daily Question: "How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family?"
From my Journal: When people hurt me, harm me, love me, loathe me, question me - REMEMBER that they are ALSO a child of God. They are also a unique, beautiful, and perfect being created by God for his love & his plan. They are on their own journey to Him & always be open and ready to let them back in.
I'm telling you now that this second purpose will make you REALLY look at things, IF you apply yourself. I mean the whole book does, BUT now that I have read it & understand the things I understand I am now responsible for how I move forward. Here are a few things this chapter discusses. It briefly points at some VERY important things, so I'll mention a little from them, because it will be discussed more later throughout this section of the book.
Our "spiritual family" lasts forever UNLIKE or physical family. From the book: "Your spiritual family is even more important than your physical family because it will last forever. Our families on earth are wonderful gifts from God, but they are temporary and fragile, often broken by divorce, distance, growing old, and inevitably, death. On the other hand, our spiritual family - our relationship to other believers - will continue throughout eternity." I KNOW.... a lot to take in.
One of my very best friends reminded me of something this weekend. We went to the same couples marriage retreat before we got married. My husband & I went a couple years before her & her husband, but one of the things that was told to us at the beginning of the retreat is that it was our responsibility to get our spouse to Heaven. This chapter didn't SHOW me this right away, but the further I read into this purpose, the MORE I realized that we have a responsibility to each other...not just spouses & parents to children & children to parents, but believer to believer & believer to non-believer & friends & frienimies & long-time friends & acquaintances & strangers....aunt/uncle to niece/nephew, grandparent to grandchildren, siblings...... We have to HELP each other get to Heaven.
The next part of this chapter discusses the BENEFITS of being a member of God's family. This was probably the part that I liked the most. The fourth one hit me to my core: "First, we will get to be with God forever. Second, we will be completely changed to be like Christ. Third, we will be freed from all pain, death, and suffering. Fourth, we will be rewarded and reassigned positions of service. Fifth, we will get to share in Christ's glory." Makes you wonder why so many people OBSESS about their inheritance when God gives us ALL the EQUAL OPPORTUNITY to share in His kingdom.
This chapter also talks about BAPTISM: why it is IMPORTANT, what it means, what it symbolizes. This is a celebration of becoming a part of God's family. The books says: "The only biblical condition is that you believe."
Last night I read about Pentecost in Acts & how thousands received & witnessed The Holy Spirit & how THOUSANDS were UNITED in CHRIST. I LOVE how it made me think that, THAT many more people enlisted in God's army.
Mount Up & Buck UP Baby & Ride with Jesus!! God Bless!!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Beautiful, Precious, Chaotic Life Journeys
I've had a lot going on these last few weeks.
I decided to quit my job. My last paid day was December 20th. I decided to start my own business & have been doing the leg work I need to - to get everything organized the way I want it, so once I find a building I can just go to work on the next set of things I need to do - to hold my first BIG general consignment auction.
I've been wanting to blog & work through my frustrations, BUT I could not figure out how to get it all out in words. I truly believe now that I wasn't ready to. God was working on my heart & was going to take me through some experiences to strengthen me.
I found out one of my dear sweet uncles (Uncle Fritz) has to have heart surgery in the middle of January. Seeing him working through the whole process brought me back a little to the job that I just recently gave my notice to.
I was a Marketing Liaison for a nursing home & a big part of my job was to follow up on patient referrals we would get from the hospital case management teams. That position did more for me personally & spiritually than it probably did professionally. I spoke with patients & families on a VERY personal level. Some of these patients were needing short term rehab services after a knee or hip replacement; some were at the end of life; some had wounds, or traches, or psychiatric issues; some had family; some still abused drugs; some were homeless; some needed more care than what they could get at home, but didn't qualify for government programs to get the assistance; some had insurance, but based on their insurance companies policies - were being sent back to their next level of care (maybe before they were ready) while others had no insurance OR for one reason or another (behaviors, drug-use, lifestyle choices) would not be accepted to the next level of care, so they got top-notch care at some of Austin's best hospitals.
I have talked with doctors, specialists & nurses that experienced some things I would never EVER want to. One nurse that I worked very closely with used to be an ER nurse in the Dallas/Fort Worth area & she told some stories that ranged from: a young girl (literally being pushed out & dropped off by a man) coming in with abdominal pains (not knowing she was pregnant) in active labor & having to help her mentally work through how her life was fixing to change to a young Spanish couple that did not understand English that had given their baby adult Tylenol for her cold (because that is what they understood from the nurse they spoke with) & having to tell them that their baby was going to die b/c the Tylenol had ruined her liver to a family of 4 having their trailer house catch fire on Christmas Eve & talking to a badly burned mother whose ONLY concern was her mother & 2 children (1 of the children died in the fire).
Let me just say that I (once again) feel like the GOOD LORD is conditioning me in a way beyond my understanding. He has caused me to see things I would have never seen & ask questions I would have never asked, meet people I would never have met, & face the true mortality of our lives (which WAS quite scary to me). I have seen (what I think) is the good & bad of the medical industry & insurance companies. I was interjected into peoples' lives & just had to act in the moment & deal with whatever emotion they were dealing with. I also feel like (more than ever) that the Good Lord has some other purpose for me (again - beyond my understanding). I did not act on it right away - in fear of all the worldly things LIKE: Will we have enough money? How will I be perceived if I'm not working? I'm not sure what will happen, so maybe I should just stay pleasantly uncomfortable for FEAR of the bad that could happen. So....(I think he thought): "I'll teach you a thing or two about life....then you'll move on & do what your supposed to do now."
The experiences, connections, & knowledge I gained in my last position seem more like road maps to me than actual job duties. I journal & the journal that I just finished filling the pages to has Bible passages on each page & I tell you what! It seems like wherever I am in my life - those passages speak straight to the situation.
"I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths." - Proverbs 4:11
"Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." - Psalm 55:22
"I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands." - Isaiah 49:15-16
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." - Exodus 14:14
"And he himself has promised us this: eternal life." - 1 John 2:25
So I've talked a lot about my past job & the things I've learned & the clarity it has given me. I also want to talk a little about my internal struggles with the things that I've experienced & how I felt on Christmas Day.
Whew! Well....when I was working in my last position I had a time trying to process all the new experiences & information I was getting. I can say that we ALL need to RESPECT the nurses that we run into. They are working with people at some of the lowest, most difficult, & frustrating times of their lives & have to deal with people of all sorts. I worked in my position a little less than a year. These people continue to CHOOSE to be a nurse. I truly believe they are called to do it and have the ability to work with people on a VERY personal level. Just had to say that. So now....back to processing the new experiences & information....
I felt like I was becoming a bit of a hypochondriac. True story. When you see people that went in the hospital for a knee replacement & come out brain dead or see a young person stroke out or become diagnosed with a rare disease that totally changes their lives forever....it does something to you. I mean...there were times when I'd look at my eyes & both kiddos eyes to see if their pupils were dialted (signs of potential stroke (& probably a dozen other things)). I'd ask the nurses at work about every little bump, ache, skin irritation I stumbled upon.
Do you guys ever KNOW you are being ridiculous, but it's like you can't stop your thought process? Well...I do. Through prayers & reading & journaling & sharing my CrAzY I learned to TRULY understand a few things.
One of which, is our mortality & how it is completely OUT OF OUR HANDS. I can see my Uncle working through it & have talked with my Aunt & can identify with the struggle he is facing. This is the bottom line of it all & it is HARD to accept. We were put on this Earth to be vessels of God's light. Certain people come into our lives & we enter into others to spread our light, teach us lessons, see glimpses of the right & the wrong ways to act, LOVE EACH OTHER, share our experiences, & leave impressions (Good & Bad). GOD is the ONLY person in control. I know that is hard to believe when you see things like war, childhood cancer, well....all cancer, school shootings, gang violence, the list could go on. ALL we can do is work our entire lives to SHARE GOD'S LIGHT: touch people, leave a positive impression in their lives & learn from the negative ones we encounter. We are not in control of a whole lot & that was HARD for me to wrap my head around....even though I've heard the same thing I'm typing hundreds of times. A person can get mighty wrapped up in trying to control things they aren't meant to control.
I truly believe & have seen how hard work pays off into something much more than what you can imagine in the present. I had naysayers & negativity when my husband & I started dating & it has developed into such a STRONG marriage & BEAUTIFUL family. I have had hard times & struggles in past jobs snowball into a thought process MUCH bigger than the problems & I truly believe that the HARD WORK we are doing here on Earth is PREPARING us for our ULTIMATE GOAL: Being able to stand openly & honestly in front of our Maker when our time comes & it will be the most glorious meeting - WAY beyond our comprehension.
So....dilated pupils or not, operations gone bad, unfair diagnosis - JUST remember: "And He Himself has promised us this: eternal life." - 1 John 2:25
We were all sitting around at one of our family Christmas's & my two Uncles tried to give me the gift certificates back that we gave them for Christmas. They wanted us to use it for our family. I told them to take it. It was for them & between the two of them they told us: "Ya'll are a young family getting yourselves situated. We appreciate it, but we don't need it." My comment back was: "Ya'll have done SO MUCH for us & we'll NEVER, EVER be able to repay ya'll - that's just a little something for ya'll." Their response back to me was: "We just love ya'll. We don't care about all that." We finally settled on going to eat with them.
My heart was very FULL when we left. All I can say to you all my friends is PRAY. PRAY for understanding if you don't know what to pray for & open your heart to let it happen. Through prayer I was brought an EXPERIENCE from my AMAZING, CrAzY, sometimes chaotic family that SHOWED me: LOVE is really ALL that matters & we need to handle ourselves & live our lives in a way to bring GLORY to GOD, which will bring GLORY to your FAMILY & your FRIENDS & all the people you encounter.
In church on Sunday the sermon was about the FAMILY. The priest talked about The Holy Family & then discussed the family unit & how we all need to look at our family as an important cell in the make-up of God's creation & make it as strong as possible. That family is the foundation of our being & how the next generations are taught. Make your family STRONG. Forgive when your family doesn't understand. If you can't help them understand - LOVE them until they figure it out for themselves. FOCUS on your cell & THANK GOD for the blessings in your life everyday. There are SO MANY people out there that don't have family to support them when their figurin' things out....or to even disagree with.
Many, Many Blessings to you & yours! Go on... BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS & let your light SHINE!
I decided to quit my job. My last paid day was December 20th. I decided to start my own business & have been doing the leg work I need to - to get everything organized the way I want it, so once I find a building I can just go to work on the next set of things I need to do - to hold my first BIG general consignment auction.
I've been wanting to blog & work through my frustrations, BUT I could not figure out how to get it all out in words. I truly believe now that I wasn't ready to. God was working on my heart & was going to take me through some experiences to strengthen me.
I found out one of my dear sweet uncles (Uncle Fritz) has to have heart surgery in the middle of January. Seeing him working through the whole process brought me back a little to the job that I just recently gave my notice to.
I was a Marketing Liaison for a nursing home & a big part of my job was to follow up on patient referrals we would get from the hospital case management teams. That position did more for me personally & spiritually than it probably did professionally. I spoke with patients & families on a VERY personal level. Some of these patients were needing short term rehab services after a knee or hip replacement; some were at the end of life; some had wounds, or traches, or psychiatric issues; some had family; some still abused drugs; some were homeless; some needed more care than what they could get at home, but didn't qualify for government programs to get the assistance; some had insurance, but based on their insurance companies policies - were being sent back to their next level of care (maybe before they were ready) while others had no insurance OR for one reason or another (behaviors, drug-use, lifestyle choices) would not be accepted to the next level of care, so they got top-notch care at some of Austin's best hospitals.
I have talked with doctors, specialists & nurses that experienced some things I would never EVER want to. One nurse that I worked very closely with used to be an ER nurse in the Dallas/Fort Worth area & she told some stories that ranged from: a young girl (literally being pushed out & dropped off by a man) coming in with abdominal pains (not knowing she was pregnant) in active labor & having to help her mentally work through how her life was fixing to change to a young Spanish couple that did not understand English that had given their baby adult Tylenol for her cold (because that is what they understood from the nurse they spoke with) & having to tell them that their baby was going to die b/c the Tylenol had ruined her liver to a family of 4 having their trailer house catch fire on Christmas Eve & talking to a badly burned mother whose ONLY concern was her mother & 2 children (1 of the children died in the fire).
Let me just say that I (once again) feel like the GOOD LORD is conditioning me in a way beyond my understanding. He has caused me to see things I would have never seen & ask questions I would have never asked, meet people I would never have met, & face the true mortality of our lives (which WAS quite scary to me). I have seen (what I think) is the good & bad of the medical industry & insurance companies. I was interjected into peoples' lives & just had to act in the moment & deal with whatever emotion they were dealing with. I also feel like (more than ever) that the Good Lord has some other purpose for me (again - beyond my understanding). I did not act on it right away - in fear of all the worldly things LIKE: Will we have enough money? How will I be perceived if I'm not working? I'm not sure what will happen, so maybe I should just stay pleasantly uncomfortable for FEAR of the bad that could happen. So....(I think he thought): "I'll teach you a thing or two about life....then you'll move on & do what your supposed to do now."
The experiences, connections, & knowledge I gained in my last position seem more like road maps to me than actual job duties. I journal & the journal that I just finished filling the pages to has Bible passages on each page & I tell you what! It seems like wherever I am in my life - those passages speak straight to the situation.
"I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths." - Proverbs 4:11
"Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." - Psalm 55:22
"I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands." - Isaiah 49:15-16
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." - Exodus 14:14
"And he himself has promised us this: eternal life." - 1 John 2:25
So I've talked a lot about my past job & the things I've learned & the clarity it has given me. I also want to talk a little about my internal struggles with the things that I've experienced & how I felt on Christmas Day.
Whew! Well....when I was working in my last position I had a time trying to process all the new experiences & information I was getting. I can say that we ALL need to RESPECT the nurses that we run into. They are working with people at some of the lowest, most difficult, & frustrating times of their lives & have to deal with people of all sorts. I worked in my position a little less than a year. These people continue to CHOOSE to be a nurse. I truly believe they are called to do it and have the ability to work with people on a VERY personal level. Just had to say that. So now....back to processing the new experiences & information....
I felt like I was becoming a bit of a hypochondriac. True story. When you see people that went in the hospital for a knee replacement & come out brain dead or see a young person stroke out or become diagnosed with a rare disease that totally changes their lives forever....it does something to you. I mean...there were times when I'd look at my eyes & both kiddos eyes to see if their pupils were dialted (signs of potential stroke (& probably a dozen other things)). I'd ask the nurses at work about every little bump, ache, skin irritation I stumbled upon.
Do you guys ever KNOW you are being ridiculous, but it's like you can't stop your thought process? Well...I do. Through prayers & reading & journaling & sharing my CrAzY I learned to TRULY understand a few things.
One of which, is our mortality & how it is completely OUT OF OUR HANDS. I can see my Uncle working through it & have talked with my Aunt & can identify with the struggle he is facing. This is the bottom line of it all & it is HARD to accept. We were put on this Earth to be vessels of God's light. Certain people come into our lives & we enter into others to spread our light, teach us lessons, see glimpses of the right & the wrong ways to act, LOVE EACH OTHER, share our experiences, & leave impressions (Good & Bad). GOD is the ONLY person in control. I know that is hard to believe when you see things like war, childhood cancer, well....all cancer, school shootings, gang violence, the list could go on. ALL we can do is work our entire lives to SHARE GOD'S LIGHT: touch people, leave a positive impression in their lives & learn from the negative ones we encounter. We are not in control of a whole lot & that was HARD for me to wrap my head around....even though I've heard the same thing I'm typing hundreds of times. A person can get mighty wrapped up in trying to control things they aren't meant to control.
I truly believe & have seen how hard work pays off into something much more than what you can imagine in the present. I had naysayers & negativity when my husband & I started dating & it has developed into such a STRONG marriage & BEAUTIFUL family. I have had hard times & struggles in past jobs snowball into a thought process MUCH bigger than the problems & I truly believe that the HARD WORK we are doing here on Earth is PREPARING us for our ULTIMATE GOAL: Being able to stand openly & honestly in front of our Maker when our time comes & it will be the most glorious meeting - WAY beyond our comprehension.
So....dilated pupils or not, operations gone bad, unfair diagnosis - JUST remember: "And He Himself has promised us this: eternal life." - 1 John 2:25
We were all sitting around at one of our family Christmas's & my two Uncles tried to give me the gift certificates back that we gave them for Christmas. They wanted us to use it for our family. I told them to take it. It was for them & between the two of them they told us: "Ya'll are a young family getting yourselves situated. We appreciate it, but we don't need it." My comment back was: "Ya'll have done SO MUCH for us & we'll NEVER, EVER be able to repay ya'll - that's just a little something for ya'll." Their response back to me was: "We just love ya'll. We don't care about all that." We finally settled on going to eat with them.
My heart was very FULL when we left. All I can say to you all my friends is PRAY. PRAY for understanding if you don't know what to pray for & open your heart to let it happen. Through prayer I was brought an EXPERIENCE from my AMAZING, CrAzY, sometimes chaotic family that SHOWED me: LOVE is really ALL that matters & we need to handle ourselves & live our lives in a way to bring GLORY to GOD, which will bring GLORY to your FAMILY & your FRIENDS & all the people you encounter.
In church on Sunday the sermon was about the FAMILY. The priest talked about The Holy Family & then discussed the family unit & how we all need to look at our family as an important cell in the make-up of God's creation & make it as strong as possible. That family is the foundation of our being & how the next generations are taught. Make your family STRONG. Forgive when your family doesn't understand. If you can't help them understand - LOVE them until they figure it out for themselves. FOCUS on your cell & THANK GOD for the blessings in your life everyday. There are SO MANY people out there that don't have family to support them when their figurin' things out....or to even disagree with.
Many, Many Blessings to you & yours! Go on... BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS & let your light SHINE!
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Friday Blessings
This passed Friday was FULL of SO MANY BLESSINGS for me. I started making a list about halfway thru the day because SO many things became APPARENT to me.
Friday was me & my husband's 5th wedding anniversary. We've been together a total of 11 years. We LOVE each other so much more than we did even a year ago. I posted a picture on Facebook of us on our wedding day & a picture from our last Christmas card. 5 years later we are more in love & have 2 beautiful little blessings that we LOVE SO MUCH! It made me realize how much my love has grown for my sweet daughter that just celebrated her 4th birthday & how blessed all 3 of us are for having Baby Heath join our family this year & sharing that LOVE with him. Then I realized how many of our family & friends "liked" my picture & share in our lives. Let's just say an OVERWHELMING feeling of LOVE & BLESSINGS came over me. My husband is a real GEM of a Fella & I KNOW that we are so much better together than we ever would have been on our own. So that was my first......awareness of MANY blessings of the day.
On to the next..... Like I've told all of you. I think A LOT.... sometimes too much. We have so many things we want and need & sometimes it just flat boggles my mind. You know? The feeling where you don't know what is right...or that feeling where you aren't sure you are doing what the GOOD LORD wants you to be doing right now, but you aren't really sure what to do OR when to do it OR how to do it. SIGH.... I'm at that place... In fact, I'm in that place in different avenues within my life & let me tell ya... Sometimes you have to just DO SOMETHING & ask the Good Lord to guide you steps, mind your mouth, & give you the energy you need to do his will. I try not to WORRY because we aren't supposed to, BUT it is ENGRAINED in me...somehow! So I go to worrying about my AUCTION CAREER. Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I goin' about things the right way? Should I do more? So guess what happens.... I get a Facebook message from a fella that heard me call bids at one of the Volunteer Fire Department Fundraising Auctions I helped Uncle Melvin at & they needed someone in a pinch for an event benefiting the Ronald McDonald House. I made a little money, was able to help them out & raise money for an AWESOME charity, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, God answered my question. You are doing what you need to do & all I need to do is all I can. Blessings will come from it. He KNOWS our intentions better than we do & will open more doors than we even know exist.
I have a friend that is leaving the state in a matter of days now. We have been FRIENDS FOR YEARS, but we have really barely seen each other the last few years. I know.... HOW DARE US! BUT.....there are very few people that have friendships like we do.....very few. I guess with all that happened that day her message just sent me over the top & I felt that feeling....that BLESSED feeling & almost could not contain my tears. I know....nothing to cry about. She's only a phone call away. They were happy tears....VERY HAPPY tears. We have both come into our own on our own, but I think we are both well AWARE that we will ALWAYS have someone in our corner...no matter where we are. I wish my Rissa Roo all the best!
Facebook was workin' hard for me on Friday! A little while later I get a message from one of the first responders that took my Dad to the hospital the last time he went a few years ago. She saw the post about our anniversary on Facebook & wanted to check on Daddy. I told her he is doing good & gave her the latest update & she told me that "she will never forget him & that he was was one of the most entertaining people they have ever had to transport." You know....sometimes your family can drive you CraZy & my Daddy sure has at times, BUT... Me and my Pops have ALWAYS been close. Thru the years we've gotten even closer on a different level & I felt SO blessed that someone else APPRECIATED him like I do & that he was able to make a lasting impression on her. You know....when I was pregnant with my little girl, I was nervous as all get out about the whole birthing process & believe it or not...my Daddy is the one that calmed my nerves & helped me to REALLY give it ALL to God. He sure the heck isn't any kind of SAINT, but he is a BELIEVER & is filled with SO MUCH LOVE for his people it just oozes out of him.
With my new job.....Admissions Director at a skilled nursing facility (It's amazing where the GOOD LORD puts you...) I have seen A LOT of things I never thought I would, understand things I never thought I'd have to & deal with families on a MUCH more personal level than I ever have in the past. Last Friday we found out that the husband of one of our little residents was in the hospital. He had been there EVERY DAY without fail & we hadn't seen him in a few days, so my boss (who cares for all of our residents & families like they are her own) found out where he was & sent me to go visit him. Him and his wife have NO LIVING FAMILY. All they HAD was each other. When I went and visited with him he was SO APPRECIATIVE. All I could think about was how worried we were about him, how thankful we were that he was okay, and how else we could help this little man and his wife. That was ANOTHER JESUS MOMENT. It made me APPRECIATE my life & everyone in it. It made me APPRECIATE the LOVE that this little man & woman have for each other. It made me APPRECIATE my job & the people I work with. It just opened my eyes on so many levels.
On the way to my next patient assessment I gave a little homeless man money & told him I hoped it would help him turn things around. I noticed the car behind me gave him some money & I saw the little homeless man look my way & thought how we never know who we will touch and how it will help someone.
Then, on my way up to see my next patient - I ran into a lady that used to live in my hometown that worked at the hospital (I had no idea.) Her kids were around my age, but we weren't necessarily close. However, in a small town EVERYONE is linked somehow & honestly are closer to each other than some people are with their families. I'm not sure what exactly she was on her way to do, but I know it was something that was not necessarily going to be easy & we shared a talk about hardships, prayers, & God's unknown intentions for us.We have each other a hug & I got back on the same elevator we met in. Talk about knowin' the Good Lord is at work & puttin' his people in places they need to be...
THEN.... to top it ALL off. I got a phone call from someone that eased my worries about something that I have been worrying about since August or so.
Between ALL of these wonderful events, the GLORIOUS needed RAIN we received ALL DAY, & the COUNTRY MUSIC from the 1990s I listened to ALL DAY LONG...I'd say I had one of the most BLESSED days I have had.
AND....if anyone reading this thinks like my philosophy professor did once upon a time and thinks these are all "koinkidinks" you can just BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS!
Have a BLESSED day everyone. Each day is a gift.
Friday was me & my husband's 5th wedding anniversary. We've been together a total of 11 years. We LOVE each other so much more than we did even a year ago. I posted a picture on Facebook of us on our wedding day & a picture from our last Christmas card. 5 years later we are more in love & have 2 beautiful little blessings that we LOVE SO MUCH! It made me realize how much my love has grown for my sweet daughter that just celebrated her 4th birthday & how blessed all 3 of us are for having Baby Heath join our family this year & sharing that LOVE with him. Then I realized how many of our family & friends "liked" my picture & share in our lives. Let's just say an OVERWHELMING feeling of LOVE & BLESSINGS came over me. My husband is a real GEM of a Fella & I KNOW that we are so much better together than we ever would have been on our own. So that was my first......awareness of MANY blessings of the day.
On to the next..... Like I've told all of you. I think A LOT.... sometimes too much. We have so many things we want and need & sometimes it just flat boggles my mind. You know? The feeling where you don't know what is right...or that feeling where you aren't sure you are doing what the GOOD LORD wants you to be doing right now, but you aren't really sure what to do OR when to do it OR how to do it. SIGH.... I'm at that place... In fact, I'm in that place in different avenues within my life & let me tell ya... Sometimes you have to just DO SOMETHING & ask the Good Lord to guide you steps, mind your mouth, & give you the energy you need to do his will. I try not to WORRY because we aren't supposed to, BUT it is ENGRAINED in me...somehow! So I go to worrying about my AUCTION CAREER. Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I goin' about things the right way? Should I do more? So guess what happens.... I get a Facebook message from a fella that heard me call bids at one of the Volunteer Fire Department Fundraising Auctions I helped Uncle Melvin at & they needed someone in a pinch for an event benefiting the Ronald McDonald House. I made a little money, was able to help them out & raise money for an AWESOME charity, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, God answered my question. You are doing what you need to do & all I need to do is all I can. Blessings will come from it. He KNOWS our intentions better than we do & will open more doors than we even know exist.
I have a friend that is leaving the state in a matter of days now. We have been FRIENDS FOR YEARS, but we have really barely seen each other the last few years. I know.... HOW DARE US! BUT.....there are very few people that have friendships like we do.....very few. I guess with all that happened that day her message just sent me over the top & I felt that feeling....that BLESSED feeling & almost could not contain my tears. I know....nothing to cry about. She's only a phone call away. They were happy tears....VERY HAPPY tears. We have both come into our own on our own, but I think we are both well AWARE that we will ALWAYS have someone in our corner...no matter where we are. I wish my Rissa Roo all the best!
Facebook was workin' hard for me on Friday! A little while later I get a message from one of the first responders that took my Dad to the hospital the last time he went a few years ago. She saw the post about our anniversary on Facebook & wanted to check on Daddy. I told her he is doing good & gave her the latest update & she told me that "she will never forget him & that he was was one of the most entertaining people they have ever had to transport." You know....sometimes your family can drive you CraZy & my Daddy sure has at times, BUT... Me and my Pops have ALWAYS been close. Thru the years we've gotten even closer on a different level & I felt SO blessed that someone else APPRECIATED him like I do & that he was able to make a lasting impression on her. You know....when I was pregnant with my little girl, I was nervous as all get out about the whole birthing process & believe it or not...my Daddy is the one that calmed my nerves & helped me to REALLY give it ALL to God. He sure the heck isn't any kind of SAINT, but he is a BELIEVER & is filled with SO MUCH LOVE for his people it just oozes out of him.
With my new job.....Admissions Director at a skilled nursing facility (It's amazing where the GOOD LORD puts you...) I have seen A LOT of things I never thought I would, understand things I never thought I'd have to & deal with families on a MUCH more personal level than I ever have in the past. Last Friday we found out that the husband of one of our little residents was in the hospital. He had been there EVERY DAY without fail & we hadn't seen him in a few days, so my boss (who cares for all of our residents & families like they are her own) found out where he was & sent me to go visit him. Him and his wife have NO LIVING FAMILY. All they HAD was each other. When I went and visited with him he was SO APPRECIATIVE. All I could think about was how worried we were about him, how thankful we were that he was okay, and how else we could help this little man and his wife. That was ANOTHER JESUS MOMENT. It made me APPRECIATE my life & everyone in it. It made me APPRECIATE the LOVE that this little man & woman have for each other. It made me APPRECIATE my job & the people I work with. It just opened my eyes on so many levels.
On the way to my next patient assessment I gave a little homeless man money & told him I hoped it would help him turn things around. I noticed the car behind me gave him some money & I saw the little homeless man look my way & thought how we never know who we will touch and how it will help someone.
Then, on my way up to see my next patient - I ran into a lady that used to live in my hometown that worked at the hospital (I had no idea.) Her kids were around my age, but we weren't necessarily close. However, in a small town EVERYONE is linked somehow & honestly are closer to each other than some people are with their families. I'm not sure what exactly she was on her way to do, but I know it was something that was not necessarily going to be easy & we shared a talk about hardships, prayers, & God's unknown intentions for us.We have each other a hug & I got back on the same elevator we met in. Talk about knowin' the Good Lord is at work & puttin' his people in places they need to be...
THEN.... to top it ALL off. I got a phone call from someone that eased my worries about something that I have been worrying about since August or so.
Between ALL of these wonderful events, the GLORIOUS needed RAIN we received ALL DAY, & the COUNTRY MUSIC from the 1990s I listened to ALL DAY LONG...I'd say I had one of the most BLESSED days I have had.
AND....if anyone reading this thinks like my philosophy professor did once upon a time and thinks these are all "koinkidinks" you can just BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS!
Have a BLESSED day everyone. Each day is a gift.
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