Jesus Mourned...

A young girl in our community...Emily Fritsch...fourteen & vibrant, passed away a few days ago. It was sudden & unexpected. As a community, we find ourselves mourning for her parents & for ourselves. We ask all the questions of WHY?? We don't understand. We get upset with God. We don't feel safe. We hurt and question on levels we maybe haven't yet.

A friend of mine shared some of his thoughts & feelings he was experiencing, once he heard the news. The link is here: Jesus Wept: A proclamation in grief. It references John 11, where Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. Please read it: John 11:1-44. Lazarus is the brother of Martha & Mary Magdalene. He was out teaching and was sent word, by Martha & Mary, that Lazarus was sick. When he heard, Jesus's words were: "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." He stayed 2 days longer. Martha & Mary ran to Him when he arrived ultimately saying that Lazarus would still be alive, if He had been there. He told Martha that he will be alive again, but she could not understand what He was telling her. She thought He meant at the resurrection. Then when Mary came, and the Jews that were comforting her, Jesus saw how deeply troubled she was. Scripture tells us: "When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." - John 11:33. Then a couple verses later we know: "Jesus wept." - John 11:35 

Jesus goes on to raise Lazarus, after already having died & the burial rituals performed. I remember when I meditated on this story a while back I thought....Why did Jesus weep? He knew that Lazarus was okay. He knew that He would raise him from the dead. He knew that He would give comfort to Martha & Mary. Why did he weep?

I believe He wept because He was mourning with them. This story of the Bible shows that Martha and Mary did not have the ability to fully understand what He was telling them. There isn't anything He could say that would cause them to understand, because of the limitations of their flesh. There were things that He could not share with them. He knew that they had to experience what they were experiencing. There was no other way...& JESUS MOURNED with them. He mourned because they had to suffer. It doesn't mean He liked it, but He knew it had to be, to get to something greater. We live in a world of sin. We are broken, BUT we WILL be restored in the name of Christ Jesus, in the appointed time. Sin will not win. We are all where we need to be. 

I never met Emily, yet her life, her death, & the deep mourning of those that new her, has affected me & many others SO deeply. As we continue to mourn the loss of this young life, I have been SO thankful for the community we live in. This picture was taken at the high school I graduated from & the same school my daughter attends. In tragedy the amazing & powerful gift of The Holy Spirit weaves us all together in love & support & suffering. We suffer together. 

Right after satan entered Judas & he left to condemn Jesus to death.... Jesus said to His disciples: "'My little children, I shall not be with you much longer.'" - John 13:33 He was speaking to the very men that walked and experienced life with Him. We are not made to understand what is to come. He goes on to ENCOURAGE them & He says: "By this love you have for one another, everyone will know that you are my disciples." - John 13:35

He has us in such a BIG & MAJOR way. As we mourn, we also THANK GOD for the blessing of this beautiful life that has touched & CONTINUES to touch so many. 

I ask that anyone who reads this, keep the family & soul & spirit of Emily Fritsch in your prayers. I can only imagine the wrestling that they are experiencing. The Holy Trinity is with them, with us, with Emily &...although it hurts...we shall not fear, for He is with us. Say a prayer for everyone that is mourning a tragedy.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace." - Ephesians 6:12-15

THIS LINK CAN HELP DIRECT YOU ON HOW TO MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO A MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP FUND SET UP IN HER NAME.

OPERATION GET HEALTHY: Day 9

Something The Daniel Plan Journal said today was: "our brains aren't computers; they can't run different programs simultaneously." I'm pretty sure I operate thinking they can. I'm serious. You can probably ask almost anyone that talks to me even, semi-regularly....I TOGGLE back & forth and too & fro from "one program" to the next. Then I wonder why I lose my train of thought.... I mean... Here's a screenshot of me... RIGHT NOW. I've got LOTS of programs running.

That is 13 programs & 2 images. I'm OBVIOUSLY not working on ALL of them right now...

This journal entry tells us how important it is for us to learn to FOCUS & be MINDFUL of what we are putting into our body....& I have learned....that NEEDS to carry over in ALL aspects of your life for you to get any real PURPOSEFUL success out of them. I bet it EXHAUSTS some of you...just looking at this picture. 

Surprisingly (all those programs open or not) I have learned to hone focus in some areas of my life. I have to REMIND myself quite regularly, but....BIG strides from where I used to be, Now...I just have to work on my FOCUS on what I put in my body...

Today I had a lunch meeting....at a MEXICAN Restaurant of all places & I TOTALLY stuck it! I ordered chicken fajitas for one, told them to keep the tortillas & ate grilled chicken strips and onions and peppers...right off the skillet. It was pretty stinkin' good honestly. It probably helped that I finished my meal replacement shake (that was supposed to be for breakfast) like... 30 minutes before I got there. It's tough for me to get those down. In fact...I felt like I consumed SO MUCH stuff before 2:00 that I didn't have room for much more....and I skipped a snack (between breakfast and lunch). I am looking forward to life after this cleanse...just to see how I'll actually be when I don't have a guideline of what to do. 

My prayer for everyone (including myself) tonight is: Dear Heavenly Father, Allow The Holy Spirit to guide us to a more focused, mindful, and purposeful life. We are here to do the work of Christ Jesus, using the gifts and talents you've given us. Help us to FOCUS as much of our energy on that....in all areas of our lives. We can not do it without your DIVINE guidance. Thank you. I ask this in the name of Christ Jesus, our Lord. Amen.

My Prayer for 2015

We had a GREAT New Year's Eve Party at our new place with LOTS of family and friends. It feels good to be in our space and have the ability to invite people into it. I had all the right intentions of sharing this prayer at the party, but there were people in so many different places, plus I'm still learning how to gather everyone together for prayer.

I want to start with a prayer of THANKSGIVING. This year was filled with growth in my business, my marriage, my family, my relationship with The Holy Trinity, my friendships, my ideas...I've read The Bible more this year than I have my entire life. If there is one thing I can encourage everyone to do this year - read The Bible...however you can, in a way that works for you. When Satan tempted Jesus in the desert, Jesus quoted scripture ALL 3 times, which drove him away. Then God sent His angels to comfort and minister to Him. There is POWER in the Word of God. I'm the most thankful for finding the courage and the faith to quit my job in December 2013 and go to work for myself. When I followed thru with it...it was like doors opened that I didn't even know existed. I strengthened so many relationships and met so many amazing people that have helped me and my family develop as human beings. One of the biggest blessings of this year is learning that building your faith and working for God is WAY more important than working for money. It's taken a lot of self-work to own, believe, and have faith in that, but it's been shown to me over and over again and has, surely, given me more peace. I'm thankful for being blessed with our niece Ida. I'm thankful Uncle Fritzi's health was restored and for Grandma Pfeiffer's renewed strength and endurance. I'm thankful for having the opportunity to get to know Nila more. I'm thankful we've found Claire - who LOVES our children & we all LOVE her. I'm thankful for the health and growth of my precious family. I'm thankful for the newest journey I've embarked on - my real estate business. I'm thankful for ALL the lessons I've learned and my eagerness to learn more & I'm thankful for the DIVINE guidance - caring for us when we don't know how to care for ourselves -  The Holy Spirit,

More than anything else this year....I want to be a source of encouragement to everyone I come in contact with and urge others to do the same. I've been blessed with a handful of people that have encouraged me thru the criticism I've encountered this past year. Be careful with your words. They can breathe life or kill dreams. Be positive and seek joy.

To everyone that celebrated New Year's Eve with us and to ALL our friends and family...I ask that you continue to pray for us this year....to support us in growing in ALL the areas that are important to us & to serve as a source of encouragement & lift us up as we fall. We will be doing the same for all of you. I urge you to not only pray for us, but for everyone that was there & everyone important to you. We are all human & need others to lift us up where we fall short.

"Just as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17

Here's to 2015, continued growth, and being a blessing and an encourager to other.

May God bless you ALL, in the name of Christ Jesus.

God, I ask that you cover these words with your everlasting LOVE, bless us, the people that read them & shine your light in all the areas of darkness we encounter in 2015.

Amen.

Day 27: "Defeating Temptation"

Welcome back!! Today we move on to Day 27 in Pastor Rick Warren's book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?

Today we talk about defeating temptation. We are TEMPTED...sometimes it feels like...EVERY minute of EVERY day. Tempted by something...negative thoughts, the thoughts of others, perceptions, things we love, pleasure, worry, time frames, deadlines, confusion.... I know now that it is ALL about the choices we make...the perseverance we have, the clarity of mind, the knowledge of scripture, being surrounded by those that SUPPORT you, SUPPORTING others on their journey, PRAYING...

Sometimes I get SO muddied up it is ridiculous! This book says: "Spiritually, your mind is your most vulnerable organ." It also says: "The battle for sin is won or lost in your mind." Pastor Warren ain't joshin'! Sometimes I think the SOLUTION for EVERYTHING is so stinkin' simple, but we can't handle simple anymore. I think of all the issues or problems or concerns or mess-ups that I've experienced & if I'd have just STOPPED & THOUGHT before acting or initiating or saying or doing....I'd have FIXED my own problem....simply with CLARITY of my own KNOWLEDGE. One thing that I can get caught up with is listening to what OTHER people think I should be doing. It is a process, but just the simple fact that I am AWARE of it, has helped me to GROW out of it. Don't get me wrong...I still struGglE with it....because I know that I don't know everything & I know I need HELP...but GOD has ENTRUSTED me with the skills & knowledge that I have to make MY OWN decisions, but still use the advice, success, and experience of others to help me form them.

Where is your attention? I have EVOLVED in just the short time of reading this book for the first time & now re-reading and sharing with you all. I've evolved because of what I've learned, my experiences & where my attention is. Pastor Warren says: "Whatever gets your attention will get you."

I think of my ANXIETY levels now...compared to what they used to be. What amazes me, as I look back, is I know where my attention is. My attention is protecting, providing, developing, & strengthening what GOD has BLESSED me with. That includes my gifts, my talent, my marriage, my children, my work ethic, my friendships, my TRUST in God and everything he has blessed me with & REVEALED to me....  If you had asked me that when I read this book the first time...my answer PROBABLY would have been FIGURING OUT A WAY to provide for my family and to succeed. The difference in the two answers is what I probably would have said the first time around is self-serving & me goin' it on my own. Where my attention is now gives it ALL to GOD...the success, the way those gifts prosper, the way my talent develops, the way my marriage and friendships strengthen, the way my sweet baby girl talks about Jesus, the way I'm able to share God's message to others, the way I allow others to help me by their experiences...even the failures go to Him...because I know I'm learning a lesson that will allow me to be BLESSED once I get through it.

I URGE everyone of you reading & whoever you will share this with to start learning God's word. However it works best for you. The book encourages a Bible Verse a week. I PRAY that you all become aware that OUR MIND can work for us or against us, BUT it is OUR CHOICE. I URGE you to find a friend that you can talk to about Jesus things....about questions you have...about the flaws you possess....about your experiences and what you think they might mean...AND I URGE you to ACCEPT the FACT that you are MUCH less powerful on your own....MUCH less. ACCEPT the FACT that you NEED God....all the time.

On the first page of this chapter it says: "It may surprise you that nowhere in the Bible are we told to 'resist temptation.' We are told to 'resist the devil.'" Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Don't let the devil use your own thoughts against you.... I know it's easier said than done. Being aware of it is the BEGINNING of DEFEATING it.

"Point to Ponder: There is always a way out."

Daily Bible Verse: "God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it."
 -1 Corinthians 10:13B (NLT)

Daily Question: "Who could I ask to be a spiritual partner to help me defeat a persistent temptation by praying for me?"

From my journal the first time of reading (Now you know ladies ;):

Embracing JOY & kindness - Kaysie Noska
Patience & Self-Control - Christina Pace

Day 26: "Growing Through Tempation"

Well...I'm back from the WONDERFUL Frio River. REALLY...I LOVE that place. Thanks to all you readers that are hangin' in there with me & WELCOME to all the new readers.

Today's discussion topic from the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren is about growING through temptation.

I can not reiterate enough how life-CHANGING this book can be....really. This chapter is chalked FULL of advice & explanations & processes & tools that I'm sure we have ALL searched for. I'm again...going to speak from MY experience....how applying lessons from this chapter have helped me & maybe show some progress from the first time of reading to the second.

What I take away from this chapter is we have a CHOICE...we ALWAYS have a choice & we ALWAYS will. Every situation....every experience....every temptation is an OPPORTUNITY to make the BEST choice, but it is ours to make. What I also take away is just how BEAUTIFUL God's gift of The Holy Spirit is to us.... & how that relationship is....kind of like our lifeblood...mine at least. You know...what REALLY gives you purpose...what guides you...what creates your distinction between right and wrong...what grounds you...what calms you...what nourishes you...what is your life line straight to God.

So...I have a couple stories to share.... One is of my relationship with The Holy Spirit... The other is an example of temptation & what I THINK was the devil trying to tempt me & me winning a victory for God.

The book says this: "When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Pastor Warren took that from Galatians 5:22-23(NLT).

I had a situation happen a few weeks ago that I am hesitant to share, but...well...words aren't going to do it justice & some people really may not understand it....and some may advise against sharing it, but I feel like it happened for a reason & it's not meant to be a secret. So....a few weeks ago, I was driving in my little home town & I passed the cemetery. The cemetery where most everyone from my Dad's side of the family are buried. I was EXTREMELY close to my Grandma Schoenst...as were my siblings & she used to make it a point to go & put flowers on all of the graves at the cemetery.

I think it's important that you have a little back story. I used to work at a daycare in my hometown & every day or every other day I would stop by and visit with my Grandma. Later I had gotten a job at a bank. I didn't stop by near as often. It went from once a week to once every two weeks, etc. Well...to be EXTREMELY blunt about the situation...I was a young, selfish kid that just didn't REALLY get the importance of that time I spent with her & how much it probably meant to her. I beat myself up about it for years. The older I got & the more I developed my understanding of things I just liked myself less and less about the situation. I remember by first face-to -face confession I asked for forgiveness for this and the priest looked at me & said: "That is not a sin. Why are you asking me to forgive it?" & my response was: "Because I was a SO selfish. I mean I LOVED her so much & she loved us UNCONDITIONALLY and I didn't even have enough decency to HONOR that." He bowed his head and told me that I need to find a way to forgive myself. Whew....I had NO CLUE what that meant at the time or how to go about it.

So now back to the story... I drove past the cemetery and, mind you, it had rained quite a bit, so there was water standing EVERYWHERE, but I felt COMPELLED to turn around. I don't know how else to explain it. I really didn't even give it much more thought. I just turned around & went back to the cemetery. I went to the first row of graves where some of our family members are buried. Then I made my way to the last row where my Grandma & Grandpa are buried. I got about two graves away from my Grandma's & was literally OVERCOME. I looked up to Heaven & said "God, I don't know what you're doin,' but just give me the strength to handle it." I sat Indian-style on her grave, because water was literally standing everywhere. I even pulled out my phone thinking: "I'm going to Google a 'special' prayer for her." Then it struck me that I didn't need to Google anything. I had it all within me. I put my hands on her grave & just started talking to her about everyone & my sweet babies...catchin' up talk... & then...my friend calls me. I silence it b/c I'm praying & talking to my Grandma & then I just started pouring out ALL the pent up feelings and emotions I had about myself & how I handled the last period of time we were on earth together & asking her to FORGIVE me & telling her how IMPORTANT she is to me & how she DESERVED better. It felt like 1000 pounds was lifted off my chest & then...without even thinking twice about it....I said these words: " Grandma, I don't know what kind of job God has for you up in Heaven, but if it's His will....there is a girl between here & Heaven & she needs you & Jesus & God & The Holy Spirit & whatever angels you can bring with you to pull her up." Another tidbit of info that is important (& what I thought many people may not understand) is that the friend that called me, had just lost the family member I was praying about, in a TRAGIC gas explosion that left her young baby & husband ALIVE.

As I call her back & check in with her...she asks me if I would say a prayer for the girl I JUST prayed for. NOW...I KNOW what some of you may be thinking.... I know because it is the VERY reason I hesitated with sharing this & was left in COMPLETE AWE... We are SO intertwined with each other on a DEEP SPIRITUAL level....that it is truly BEYOND our understanding. She had NO idea I was at the cemetery. She had NO knowledge of my relationship with my Grandma. She didn't even REALLY know the full story behind the explosion. I'm not even going to begin to try and understand the why behind all of that.

I shared this story with a priest & I have to say....he HELPED me to UNDERSTAND the CAPACITY of what had happened. He said....that the COMPELLING feeling I felt was not a coincidence. It was The Holy Spirit moving me & I listened. When I spoke those words to my Grandma I broke the bounds I placed on myself, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, let my Grandmother's soul rise to be with the angels & she took that sweet young mother's soul with her. He told me to read the book: Anatomy of Spirit.

I can't make you feel what I felt & I can't make you believe what I'm typing. Just spend some time thinking about things.

TEMPTATION is brought to us by the devil. He wants to tie us up. He wants to warp our minds. He wants to do WHATEVER it takes to keep us from Heaven. It opened my eyes to see how important we still are to each other & what the first priest meant by: "finding a way to forgive myself." ALL that negative emotion was NOT a product of God.

I know that is A LOT to take in, but I also want to share one more story...a VERY recent one...on how (I think) the devil was trying to tempt me & (although I couldn't hold back ALL of the emotions) I won one for God.

My husband & I got into an argument. I was some kind of ticked off. I kept trying to ignore it...just deal with it...channel the energy & the thoughts, control myself, be nice & good &graceful & all that jazz, BUT I just couldn't...not say something. When I say I tried....I REALLY did. I went & sat in the bathroom. Just sat there mad. Mad that I was mad. Mad that I said something. Mad that he didn't understand what I was saying to him. MAD. I said a short prayer to God saying: "God, I don't know what your settin' up here & I don't want to give the enemy any ground, but I already said what I said & I meant it. Just help me speak in a way that my husband will TRULY hear me on EVERY level I need to be heard & take care of us." Well...I'm not tellin' you what I said to him because it was kind of vulgar, but he HEARD me. My point to that story is....we will do things that aren't right...might be right, but don't seem right to anyone else... may be WAY OFF in left field...BUT GOD CAN TURN IT. He took that situation that was full of all kind of negative emotions & turned it into a way I could communicate to him to where BOTH of our eyes could be opened...to understand each other.

We aren't perfect & weren't made to be. We will be TEMPTED continuously for the rest of our lives, but we have to learn to grOW through the temptation to develop the character of Jesus. We aren't expected to be perfect & Jesus shares our struggles because he knows the intensity of temptation.

"Point to Ponder: Every temptation is an opportunity to do good."

Daily Bible Verse: "God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12 (NLT)

Daily Question: "What Christ-like character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face?"

From my journal the first time around: I feel like I have lots of things to work on in areas of temptation. I think the main two areas I need to focus on are endurance and moving forward and to not give up - because I do feel like I've been tempted persistently in these departments.

The other is dishonesty...mainly in small situations like where I am EXACTLY (like when I'm running late) or areas where I don't want to hurt someone. I really need to practice complete and utter honesty, but THINK first.

JOY- I feel like I kind of stay a sour puss. I wasn't always like that. I think because I am around negativity and judgement and confusion. God PLEASE help me find joy in everything!!

I have to report my progress :)....don't expect GIVE-UP any time soon. God just LOVES me & sends me people, places, and experiences to fill in all those gaps where the thoughts of give-up tried to live. HONESTY is totally on the forefront....You are fore-warned. If you don't REALLY want to know...don't ask me. JOY....well...I still got a little ways to go with that, BUT I'm on that road. It's amazing when you cut out some of that negativity, judgement, & confusion how much more room you have for JOY.

Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus!! He was tempted JUST like us...but had the strength to endure it all.

Day 25: "Transformed by Trouble"

Welcome to ALL readers!! I had every intention of writing a blog post each day I was at the Texas Auctioneer Association Convention (Thursday thru Sunday), but EVERY day was jam-packed & I can say (with certainty) that it created immense GROWTH in every area of my being. I can't wait to share some of the experiences with you! In fact...I'll share at least one in today's post as we move on to the next chapter in Pastor Rick Warren's book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? 

The very last session that I listened to, at the convention, was a presentation by a God-fearin', straight-talkin' Auctioneer from Alabama named Bryan Knox. He said all kinds of things that I took notes on, but there was one part of his speech that HIT me! I mean...made me see the reason and the purpose behind some of the things that I had to experience to appreciate where I am now & be in awe of God's plan.

His speech was about PROFESSIONALISM & someone had asked him a question (It had something to do with mentors). He answered it by using an example from The Bible....Paul, Barnabas, & Timothy & the road to Damascus. He discussed how God blinded Paul for 3 days to make him REALLY see...to FILL him with The Holy Spirit. He also discussed how Barnabas mentored Paul & Paul later mentored Timothy. 

For those of you that don't know a lot about Paul (originally names Saul), he persecuted many Christians before he was blinded (for 3 days) by Christ. Total non-believer.... BUT God CHOSE (no matter his past) to FILL him with The Holy Spirit....so much so that wherever he went and spoke it poured out of him & he is considered one of the most (if not the most) influential person in the early church. Paul (thru the vision of Christ & the help of The Holy Spirit) channeled his natural DETERMINATION, that was once used to persecute God's people, to earnestly urge others to also FOLLOW Christ. 

Ok...so you're wondering...where am I going with this? Obviously Paul was totally transformed by trouble, but all of you steady readers know that I like to apply things to my own life. 

There are two MILESTONE areas of TrouBLE that got cleared up in my mind when Mr. Knox shared that story. You guys also know one of my favorite quotes is below:

Yes...I know that many say Steve Jobs was not a Christian when he passed. We aren't gonna know. What I do know is that this man advanced technology & created a break through in communication with the iPhone that allows the immediate SHARING of information....that includes the teachings of The Bible, the open communication of spiritual discussion, & he has linked MORE people together to give us the ability to share our experiences. I'm cuttin' him some slack, because I pray God will cut me some too. 

The combination of that story & this quote made the light bulb turn on. The last two professional positions, where I was working for someone else, were maybe some of the toughest, most mentally-draining & self-analyzing situations I have EVER dealt with. I won't go into ALL the details again, because I've blogged about them before. Just know that I loved the first company SO much that I really thought I'd retire there....LOVED it...loved the job...I was good at it...I felt appreciated & then... all that changed. I was in a situation where I was being to asked to work harder for less money. I was dealing with jealousy & resentment. The SUPPORT that I once had...left. I probably prayed the HARDEST during that time. The money was good, but the VALUE that I held for myself was flying out the window piece by piece every day. Here was my exact prayer to God...at 2AM in the morning...tears rolling down my cheeks: "God, I know I was supposed to be here. I know I'm not supposed to be here anymore, but I don't know where you want me. I just want to do something where I can use the skills you've given me, love my husband, provide for our family, & give back to people & bring you the glory." So....as I'm sitting there listening..."connecting the dots," I realize that, that time of struggle got me to a milestone in my life...where I took the thought God brought me in prayer (becoming an auctioneer) & made the conscious decision to ACT on it.

Although I acted on it...God still had to WORK on me....but maybe he was just PREPARING me :). I stayed working in that job a little while longer...in fear of not having the money I thought we needed. Then we made the move back home & of course...the situation with work didn't get any better, but we were in a place where we had more SUPPORT. I was still afraid of not having the money WE felt like WE needed & took another job in medical sales (skilled nursing). Man...that job was tough on so many different levels for me. I was doing a lot of "work" that didn't make sense to me...in the sense of how important it really was. I also had to learn & get familiar with all kinds of different diagnosis & the Medicare & Medicaid & insurance processes & travel to hospitals to meet with patients & families & encounter REALLY tough situations. I became familiar with home health & hospice agencies & specialists & nurses & doctors. While doing all that... I had two bosses that REALLY didn't care for each other, but I had to report to both of them. I could NEVER make both of them happy....Ever...EVER. It was MISERABLE & just SO draining. What is really interesting is the thing that I really wanted to do: be of service to common, normal people when they REALLY needed it....I really couldn't be because my hands were tied by Medicare & Medicaid & insurance guidelines & the admittance & dismissal dates of hospitals & the orders from the patients' doctors OR my company itself. So what was I REALLY accomplishing? What was the purpose? So again....as I was listening & "connecting the dots," I can see how God was SHOWING me that I can NEVER....EVER serve two people...or two Gods & have any POSITIVE effect on anything. I didn't have that exact thought when I gave my notice. I just truly felt like the longer I stayed there, the longer I was working against God & his plan for my life & I reached a point where the money didn't matter anymore. I can NOW also see how God USED that process to open my eyes. Talk about being transformed by trouble....

Sometimes I feel like people think I'm "preachin'" to them when I write these posts. Guys...I'm not trying to preach to you. I am tying to SHARE with you how God acted & continues to act in my life. I have been left in AWE so many times since I quit that job that it is HUMBLING. There is NO DOUBT in my mind that God really does have a path for all of us to walk & as we continue to peel back & work through our junk (OUR perceived needs & wants & pre-conceived notions of what WE think we should be) & just let God lead us, more & more will be revealed to us...& the walk will get easier. 

God led me to that convention last week & took me to a place (internally) that had me READY to soak in every ounce of it. It struck a cord with every level of my being: professionally (how to run a business, how to build a business, how to develop my skill, how to lead my team), my confidence & self assurance, my ability & capacity to figure out how to allow all the pieces of my life fit together, & throughout the ENTIRE convention....EVERYONE continued to LIFT it all up for God's glory....which is the ONLY reason I am on this path.  

"Point to Ponder: There is purpose behind every problem."

Daily Bible Verse: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28(NIV)

Daily Question: "What problem in my life has caused the greatest growth in me?"

From my journal the first day of reading: The constant, or ever-present feeling that I can ALWAYS do better, or that I don't measure up in certain areas. It's like I try to master it, or at least really spend some time with it. It has developed lots of things in me: perseverance, understanding of human nature, self-growth, spiritual growth, etc. - because I am constantly looking out and up. 

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! He will ALWAYS lead you out of your TroUBle if you let him. God Bless!