OPERATION GET HEALTHY: Day 9

Something The Daniel Plan Journal said today was: "our brains aren't computers; they can't run different programs simultaneously." I'm pretty sure I operate thinking they can. I'm serious. You can probably ask almost anyone that talks to me even, semi-regularly....I TOGGLE back & forth and too & fro from "one program" to the next. Then I wonder why I lose my train of thought.... I mean... Here's a screenshot of me... RIGHT NOW. I've got LOTS of programs running.

That is 13 programs & 2 images. I'm OBVIOUSLY not working on ALL of them right now...

This journal entry tells us how important it is for us to learn to FOCUS & be MINDFUL of what we are putting into our body....& I have learned....that NEEDS to carry over in ALL aspects of your life for you to get any real PURPOSEFUL success out of them. I bet it EXHAUSTS some of you...just looking at this picture. 

Surprisingly (all those programs open or not) I have learned to hone focus in some areas of my life. I have to REMIND myself quite regularly, but....BIG strides from where I used to be, Now...I just have to work on my FOCUS on what I put in my body...

Today I had a lunch meeting....at a MEXICAN Restaurant of all places & I TOTALLY stuck it! I ordered chicken fajitas for one, told them to keep the tortillas & ate grilled chicken strips and onions and peppers...right off the skillet. It was pretty stinkin' good honestly. It probably helped that I finished my meal replacement shake (that was supposed to be for breakfast) like... 30 minutes before I got there. It's tough for me to get those down. In fact...I felt like I consumed SO MUCH stuff before 2:00 that I didn't have room for much more....and I skipped a snack (between breakfast and lunch). I am looking forward to life after this cleanse...just to see how I'll actually be when I don't have a guideline of what to do. 

My prayer for everyone (including myself) tonight is: Dear Heavenly Father, Allow The Holy Spirit to guide us to a more focused, mindful, and purposeful life. We are here to do the work of Christ Jesus, using the gifts and talents you've given us. Help us to FOCUS as much of our energy on that....in all areas of our lives. We can not do it without your DIVINE guidance. Thank you. I ask this in the name of Christ Jesus, our Lord. Amen.

Day 40: "Living With Purpose"

We are REALLY nearing the end. In the older version of The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Warren...the book ends here. The new version has TWO AWESOME additional chapters...that we'll cover over the next couple of days.

So today's a BIG deal that kind of ties this whole book together. If you LET it...this book can help YOU transform your life & buILD a relationship with our ALMIGHTY Father. It has been LIFE-CHANGING for me.....BOTH times.

ULTIMATELY....this chapter helps us to BEGIN to develop our "LIFE PURPOSE STATEMENT." I will share mine with you. I KNOW it will chAnGE, but here is where it is now.

4/14/14 Draft ONE of My Life Purpose Statement:

The Holy Trinity is the center of my life. When anxiety, trouble, stress, worry, or anything else that is the devil's work creeps up, I will call to Him & He will save me. I relinquish myself to Him to use me for His purpose and to bring glory to Him - therefore blessing others and helping others bless others. I will use all of my talents (known & yet to be discovered) for my life purpose: to be more like Jesus, to share my talents and experiences with my church family, believers, and non-believers, to spread his love to all that will listen and do my best to be heard. I will teach my family and friends to love and grow like God wants, so more and more people can bring glory to God. I will help fellow Catholics and Christians learn from each other and learn how to accept and grow from each others differences. I will share The Good News and the way my church has fanned the flame of my spirit and soul. I will share The Good News through whatever method I am gifted in, that will reach someone. I will serve God by using my knowledge and skills to help others collectively raise needed funds through love and support. I will work to strengthen and grow me and my family's depth of servitude by researching missions. I will bring others in. I will work on being happier and more open to accepting God's blessings and trusting that he has me, holds me, and protects me. God is my refuge, my strength, my grace, and my glory. I am His to be used for His good works. God is my center. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Mark 12:30 Amen.

PLEASE refer to the chapter for the BEST ways of developing YOUR statement. There are a couple of other things from this chapter that I'd like to write about.

"Once you know what God wants you to do, the blessing comes in actually doing it." THIS. IS. HARD. Just when you think you're getting the hang of it.....something makes "doing it" really hard. It can be PEOPLE, FINANCIAL SITUATIONS, FEAR, OTHER PEOPLE'S FEAR, CIRCUMSTANCES, YOUR OWN CRAZY...this list could go on. Just don't beat yourself up about it. I did because I want to do things "right." I put WAY too much pressure on myself.

Also from this chapter: "Don't get discouraged when you stumble. It takes a lifetime to build Christlike character." BELIEVE me when I tell you there are things about yourself that you've forgotten or that you've hidden, or that you THINK you've dealt with....so YOU WILL STUMBLE. You've got this.

Couple quotes to help us work on DIRECTION:

"The Bible says, 'Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground.'" & "Proverbs says, 'An intelligent person aims at wise action, but a fool starts off in many directions."'  Well...I've been a "fool" for a LOOooong time, but I'm workin' on it....& I am making progress.

As a PARENT you can bet that PART of your mission will be to raise your babies to KNOW & LOVE Jesus....& I think to give them the ability/knowledge/etc. to SHARE The Good News. It's not double-duty...It's already PART of your mission......PART.......

"...even Jesus didn't meet the needs of everyone while on earth. You have to choose whom you can best help, based on your shape." I'm sitting here smiling because we ALL want to help EVERYONE & we want EVERYONE to "get us" & we want EVERYONE to like us. Go on & get over it. It ain't gonna happen. You won't even be able to help ALL of the people you run into that you CAN help. They have to be open to it & sometimes you are HELPing by planting a seed that someone else will water. HOWEVER, there is a targeted group of people that you are MADE to HELP. I THINK I'm figurin' mine out, but I'm open for it to be another group of people I'm not thinkin' of. Just don't FORCE it. Really... Step through the door when the OPPORTUNITY flings it open.

Listen here... There really are NO EXCUSES. "What matters most is that you fulfill God's eternal purposes regardless of where you live or work or whom you marry. Those decisions should support your purposes. The Bible says, 'Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.'" Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

The Daily Stuff:

"Point to Ponder: Living with purpose is the only way to really live."

Daily Bible Verse: "For David...served the purpose of God in his own generation." Acts 13:36 (NASB)

Daily Question: "When will I take the time to write down my answers to life's five great questions? When will I put my purpose on paper."

From My Journal: I will start in my journal today. I am thinking about it NOW. Praise God. Praise Jesus. Praise The Holy Spirit.

If you struggle with the chaos of what to do next I would recommend The One Thing by Gary Keller. I'm in chapter three & I'm already ready to find that first domino. ;). Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! He is good, Good, GOOD to us! God Bless!

Day 30: "Shaped for Serving God"

I just LOVE this chapter! LOVE IT!! Welcome to ALL the readers & thanks for following along as we go through the daily chapters of The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

Today we continue to LEARN more about our own PERSONAL ministry. Today BEGINS the discussion of helping us understand our SHAPE.

I remember as a college student I encountered all kinds of students that had all kinds of different beliefs OR were REALLY confused about their beliefs & I remember being questioned by a classmate of mine...one where I really enjoyed his company & the discussion he brought to our class. See...I used to ALWAYS wear a necklace with a cross on it, not the same one...I had one in EVERY color, BUT he asked me, as we were walking from class..."You don't really believe in that, do you?" He pointed & I asked what he was talking about. He said..."Your cross...I just don't want you to be disappointed one day." I said: "You don't believe in it?!" I was TOTALLY shocked. I had a phone call coming in & I walked to my class & he walked to his. Our next class was quite awkward to say the least. I didn't even know how to talk to him after that. I'd be lying if I didn't confess that he got me to thinkin' about things. I never questioned IF God was real or not, but put myself on a journey to try and really wrap my head around some of the tough things. What I concluded & where I am now is the thinking that: God would not have created us how he created us, if there wasn't some PURPOSE behind it. All these emotions & thoughts & relationships & knowledge & skills & talents & EMOTIONS (I know I said it twice!) just can not be for nothing. Why? How could anyone not acknowledge that part of us? I mean if our jobs, our money, our luxuries were stripped away from us...wouldn't we still have WORTH? Wouldn't we still have EMOTIONS? Wouldn't there still be a PURPOSE for them? That is why I believe that when our physical body dies...it turns to dust, but our DEEP innards...you know our SOULS...don't just disappear. I can't understand it all...only our Maker can & I TRUST & have FAITH that he made us for a purpose, because he sure didn't HAVE to.

Another thing this book has taught me, or made me think about is how God PREPARES for the Plan Bs & Cs & Ds & even Es & Fs & Gs in our life. He has our life mapped out. He KNOWS what our purpose is & he knows how to get us to see it (this chapter teaches you that). He also KNOWS that the devil is going to try and detour us EVERY chance he gets. That's what leads to the Plan Bs & Cs, etc. I think about when I REALLY make a plan for something...I mean REALLY put everything into it & do the research (no shortcuts) & KNOW what things could POSSIBLY come at me. There is no way of me knowing if they will, but it is the BEST way I can PREPARE myself to be prepared to COMBAT it. When you study like this...you LEARN your competition (just an example) or your drawback. Many times you become SO educated about it...you could teach a class on it. That is how God is with the devil...at least that is what I believe. First of all he created his being...he knows how he operates. Secondly, he has been dealin' with him for SO LONG that he knows the kind of tricks & kniving schemes he will try and put into play. He knows what member of his army, he'll send after you. God has a counter for EVERY trick the devil can throw at us. Earlier in the book we learned that there are some situations where the SPECIFIC job you're in is not the IMPORTANT part in God's overall plan. For example....You could have offers from 3 different companies, but all 3 of those companies will allow God to develop the skills he wants to develop in you. The specific job you choose is kind of irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. God knows several ways to keep you on your journey to learning & SHARING your purpose.

We are going to start to learn about our SHAPE!! This was REALLY eye-opening to me.

S-Spiritual Gifts
H-Heart
A-Abilities
P-Personality
E-Experience

Today we will learn about our Spiritual Gifts & our Heart, but first I just want to share something. It USED to be REALLY hard for me to understand people who didn't think like I did...and honestly I just couldn't figure out a way to understand their way of thinking. I used to think they were just WRONG and that was it. As I got older...I realized that EVERY person has REASONS for thinking they way they think, or emotions that hang them up on things, or DIffErent experiences that cause them to see things in a different light. This chapter really drives home how we are ALL created COMPLETELY UNIQUELY. Every one of us has a different mixture of the "SHAPE" recipe that makes us uniqUe.

SPIRITUAL GIFTS: "These are special God-empowered abilities for serving him that are given only to believers." How SPECIAL is that?! This chapter goes on to tell us how all of our gifts our different & how our gifts actually help others, just like the gifts of others are meant to help us. God keeps us NEEDING each other! This is a REALLY important part from this chapter: "Two common problems are 'gift-envy' & 'gift-projection.' The first occurs when we compare our gifts with others', feel dissatisfied with what God gave us, and become resentful or jealous of how God uses others. The second problem happens when we expect everyone else to have our gifts, do what we are called to do, and feel as passionate about it as we do." My experience of not understanding others is shown in the second problem. We ALL experience things, but the more AWARE of the problems you become...the quicker you can PUMP THE BRAKES on them.

HEART: "The Bible uses the term heart to describe the bundle of desire, hopes, interests, ambitions, dreams, and affections you have. Your heart represents the source of all your motivations - what you love to do and what you care about most." What Pastor Warren goes on to discuss in this section is SO good. It makes me think of this internal struGgLe I've been having with myself about what direction I should go with my auction business. Let me tell you...there are ALL kinds of auctions...ALL KINDS & sometimes it is hard to know what direction you are meant to go/supposed to go/which one is an opportunity/which way is a diversion.... I've been guided to & from several different ones including: general consignment auctions, benefit/fundraising auctions, & estate auctions. I've learned a lot in the last couple months & have gotten some of the BEST ADVICE from some of the BEST in the industry, that has provided some clarity to me. Here is what I have learned, b/c (BEFORE the convention) I have gone in the WRONG direction (for me) based on the advice of others....others that I fully respect. Just because someone can see ALL the reasons that a certain business direction will work GREAT for you...does not mean that YOU can see how that business direction will work for you. YOU have to know & you have to WANT to do it. I had been guided away from the direction I want to go...because others in my field didn't necessarily see things how I saw it & THEY had experienced certain difficulties that made them want to deter me from that road. There are some areas of this industry that I truly don't know if I'd like or not. There's only one way to figure that out...go & do it. Just because I learn about an area I'm NOT familiar with, DOES NOT mean that I can't grow MY business in the direction that I KNOW I CAN. You can be an ASSET to your company...at the same time you are an ASSET to another. It all depends on your HEART...Do you have a DESIRE? Do you HOPE to grow from the experience? Are you INTERSTed in it? Do you have the AMBITION to go after it? Do you DREAM to be well-rounded in your trade?

I'm gonna share 4 more quotes from the book that really say it all for me:

"Your emotional heartbeat is the second key to understanding your shape for service. DON'T IGNORE YOUR INTERESTS."

"How do you know when you are serving God from your heart? The first telltale sign is enthusiasm."

**Side note on this one. That year when I did VERY few auctions & I called the Ledbetter Fireman's Auction in October...I got in the car with my Uncle & his girlfriend & said: "This is what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing! I just NEED to figure it out. I'm not sure HOW I'm gonna make a living at it, but this is what I'm supposed to be doing."

"When you don't have a heart for what you're doing, you are easily discouraged."

**A PERFECT example of this for me is the JOY I get when doing a benefit auction vs. a consignment auction.

"Whenever you do what God wired you to love to do, you get good at it. Passion drives perfection."

"Point to Ponder: I was shaped for serving God."

Daily Bible Verse: "God works through different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all." 1 Corinthians 12:6 (PH)

Daily Question: "In what way can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it?"

From my journal the first time of reading: Auctions, fundraising, raising money for people and causes, event planning and coordination, spreading God's word to the masses, playing with children and teaching them.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! If you haven't yet...GO GET THIS BOOK!!

God Bless!
Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037

Day 29: "Accepting Your Assignment"

Hey all! I tell you what! It's gettin' harder & harder for me to stay up & get these posts out! I'm gonna try and double up for ya today! Today we move onto our 4th PURPOSE: "You were shaped for serving God."

Today talks about "Accepting Your Assignment." This is Day 29 in Rick Warren's book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?

There are 3 parts of this chapter that I want to discuss, because I have had specific conversations about them OR I just think they are important.

Here is the first: "Another term for serving God that's misunderstood by most people is the word MINISTRY. When most people hear "ministry," they think of pastors, priests, and professional clergy, but God says every member of his family is a minister."

I had a conversation with a VERY dear friend. We actually met for lunch/brainstorming session & that turned into almost a 3-hour long discussion. One of the things I talked to her about was starting a ministry...& calling it "Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus." After our discussion (& lots of thought) I think I will call it a MISSION, but it will accomplish the same thing. Some of the things brought up were: "Is it necessary to use "Jesus" in the name of the ministry & would I be up there PREACHING to people?" We can speak VERY plainly to each other & know that the other has each other's best interests in mind when asking the questions we ask. After the first question...my head initially went to...."If I take his name OUT of it....that will be like taking his name out of the Pledge of Allegiance & out of schools & out of whatever they can get it out of." She stopped me and reminded me that Jesus was humble & doesn't need his name everywhere....& he doesn't. I know she was coming to me from a place of concern & she doesn't want ANYTHING to curtail my business....but he is ALL UP IN my business & I WANT to .

Then she asked: "What would this ministry do?" I told her my ROUGH vision: Have the ability to provide scholarships & grants to students & new business owners because I know how you can feel limited as both, if you don't have the money it takes to do something that you really think needs to be done. I'd like to also be able to provide religious education grants for children and adults. Then I told her how I'd like to take my employees & volunteers on specific missions to help spread our mission. Not only that, but the group of people that work with me have experiences that (if shared) can REALLY help others & I'm not opposed to speaking engagements...alone or as a team. So...to answer the question about if we would be preaching to people....not really. We'd be sharing our experiences with people...and doing for people.

I kind of delved into WHY it concerned her as much as it did & she shared some of her experiences, which were quite eye-opening. She is a BELIEVER...by all means, but LIKE MANY OF US (myself included...once upon a time)...is RESERVED about sharing her experiences or her FAITH because we don't want to offend anyone or rub anyone the wrong way. I agree that...depending on what you want to accomplish...some conversations have to be approached with finesse. She also told me about her childhood growing up & how many parents & adults kind of shoved religion down your throat & TOLD you what you had to be & what was GOOD & BAD...ACCEPTABLE & UNACCEPTABLE...ultimately leaving the impression that you had to be, act, dress, look a certain way to be acceptable to GOD. One example she told me was when she was a little girl one of her neighbors (parents of her little neighbor friend) gave her a Bible & then told her to take it home & tell her Daddy that he OWED them $2 or something for it.

All I want to do is SHARE MY GOOD NEWS WITH OTHERS. SHARE what I have learned & what I BELIEVE & give examples & tell stories & GIVE GOD THE GLORY. I'm not sure WHAT that will look like exactly... I just feel like I'm supposed to do it. I also know that I don't want to SHOVE IT DOWN PEOPLE'S THROATS. It won't mean a thing to them. I want to SHARE with who wants me to share it with them or who THINKS they want to know what I am talking about or who WANTS to be a part of whatever I'm doing. I don't want to FORCE anything. I realize that some people may put a wall up...just by the words I choose to use...but some won't & if something GOOD is coming from it the GOODNESS will spread & continue to spread...even if there are only a handful that want anything to do with it at first.

Here is the second thing I want to share that kind of reiterates what I discussed above. "The Bible says, 'He saved us and called us to be his own people, not because of what we have done, but because of his own purpose.' Peter adds, 'You were chosen to tell about the excellent qualities of God, who called you.' Anytime you use your God-given abilities to help others, you are fulfilling your calling." After typing & re-reading this...something else struck me. In this business I have started I have found that A LOT of people don't UNDERSTAND where I am going with this, what the purpose is, WHY I'm doing it & just don't go out and get a job. HONESTLY...sometimes I'm not sure of the EXACT direction I am going or the EXACT purpose behind ALL these lessons I'm learning, but I KNEW before I went at it FULL-time I was supposed to be doing SOMETHING with it. I KNEW I needed to do more. It has been CONFIRMED to me I don't even know how many times now. I still can't say what it will look like 6 months, a year, or 10 years from now & I STILL have people trying to tell me how I'm supposed to live my life when they have NO CLUE...at all...about what has been done, what is in the works, what I have learned, & what God has GIVEN me. Heck...some of them don't even know what God has GIVEN them. YET...I still march on b/c I UNDERSTAND my PURPOSE for doing it. I share this because....We aren't even close to UNDERSTANDING GOD's purpose for our lives...God's purpose for saving us & blessing us with the gifts he gave no other living creature...what is SO special about us that God CHOSE to save us...WHY we have the experiences & feelings that we have... & (EVEN AFTER HE PAID THE ULTIMATE PRICE) we QUESTION Him & get MAD at him & HIDE from Him, Some of us LOSE our belief in Him, we take his name OUT of things...YET he marches on....blessing families with more babies, loving us through our sins...teaching us to know ourselves when we don't understand WHY he doesn't just tell us. You know.... I don't UNDERSTAND his PURPOSE, but I BELIEVE in his PURPOSE & mine is linked with His.

Here is the THIRD thing I want to share from this chapter: "We must act on what we know and practice what we claim to believe. Impression without expression caused depression. Study without service leads to spiritual stagnation." AMEN!!!!! This happened to me when I took another job, when I KNEW I should pursue something with my auction license. This happened to me when I read the chapter about HARD conversations & SAT on it b/c I didn't want to have them. This happened to me when I didn't feel RIGHT to write posts for a blog called "Buck Up Baby!" when I couldn't even get the nerve to BUCK UP & do what I knew I was supposed to be doing. This happens when I see a friend I haven't seen in years that wants to catch up on old pals...which eventually leads to gossiping. Honestly...this still happens to me from post to post. I share this information with ya'll & some days....even though I KNOW what I SHOULD do....I just don't. I've told you before that I die daily...sometimes several times a day & my faith wains, BUT I can say that the more AWARE of things you become...the more you EXPRESS yourself & the less you put yourself in depressing situations.

READ the chapter. There is LOTS more in there. Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Find your ministry, name it what you want to, & go to sharin' that sucker! Here is the flyer for the BABY stages of my ministry/mission. I am HOPING to give as many $1000 scholarships away as possible to students pursuing a higher level of education, whether that be: a college, university, trade school, licensing school, or religious education school. It will be open to any high-school graduate student, currently enrolled college student, or someone wishing to return to school. The candidates will have to answer 1 of 2 essay questions: 1) Give us an example of an experience where you have had to "BUCK UP" & do something that has pushed you out of your comfort zone & how that made an impact on your life & possibly others OR 2) Tell us about an area/idea/dream that you have, but you have not mustered up the courage yet to "Buck Up." What is holding you back?  

Just realized...I didn't share the daily stuff....

"Point to Ponder: Service is not optional."

Daily Bible Verse: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

Daily Question: "What is holding me back from accepting God's call to serve him?"\

From my journal the first time of reading: In December 2013 I quit my job to pursue my service/talent God has given me. The things that stopped me and still hang me up are: fear, family and friends not understanding, perception, pride, my perceived image, money. I can sit here - happy to say that I can feel the good Lord working in me, blessing others, and melting away some of my previous concerns.

A little more to say now...as some of those concerns melt away...some days others intensify. Daily...I tell you...DAILY you have to work through ALL the processes....of all the things & JUST HOLD FAITH that the PURPOSE you are working towards is worth it.

God Bless Pretties!!
Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037

"Day 23: How We Grow"

On to Day 23 from the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

I feel like there is a line in this chapter that I need to continually read over & OVER again...for the rest of my life! "Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you....We become whatever we are committed to." -Pastor Warren

We all have commitments: our marriages, our families, our careers, our friendships, our church...

When I was working as a marketing liaison for the skilled nursing facility I learned something....& (no doubt) The Holy Spirit was teaching me....& all the people I came in contact with. I took the job for a couple reasons...one was money. I was SO concerned about having enough $$$ to support my family like I was able to with my previous job. The other was that I'd be able to help people on a level that was SO important to them & help them find solutions. Well....mind you...INTERNALLY I wanted to do the same thing, using my auctioneer license....make enough $$ to help create a good life for my family & HELP PEOPLE on a level that they REALLY needed help with. So I went on for almost a year working as a marketing liaison, going into hospitals, talking to patients & families will all kinds of different needs, diagnosis, backgrounds, financial issues, etc. I talked to doctors, floor nurses, case managers, specialists, hospice managers, home health marketers, administrators, social workers, gatekeepers...

So what did I learn (that applies to this chapter)? I learned that although...I was staying bUsY & I was TRYING to help EVERY patient or family I came in contact with....I couldn't....at least not the way I thought someone in my position would be able to. I also learned as I was getting HOUNDED for not having a 144 page market analysis done (which I was required to do BEFORE OR AFTER my 8-5:30 job & before & after my hour long commute each way) & not "staying on top" of 2 of my BOSSES... that what the company was asking me to do....was REALLY just BuSy work too & wasn't ACCOMPLISHING anything....for anybody really. It also made me see that this money that I was making was coming with a HEAVY price on my part. I was accomplishing one goal....having enough $$$ to provide for my family, but it was SO UNHEALTHY...for everything important to me: my family, my friendships (although I picked up some pretty special ones along the way), myself & my health (physical, mental, & emotional), BUT most importantly MY GOD.

My ability, my drive, & my ENERGY of having the ability to call an auction, raise money for people, & run an auction were all DISCOVERED, GOD-GIVEN talents. STRAIGHT UP....the simple thought that came to me through INTENSE prayer was the CATALYST for the chanGE that you are witnessing....& I was abandoning it....to have enough $$$$ to support my family (what I thought...was enough money)... I think I called one auction the entire year I had that job. I was sitting there in this MISERABLE situation I put myself in, with other MISERABLE people (not all of them, but many) & PRAYING to GOD to give me some answers....when he already had.

When I say the journey we are walking with The Holy Trinity is intense...I mean it, BUT the REALLY intense parts...we usually do to ourselves... ALL I have to do is TRUST in GOD's PLAN. So...besides having to go to work everyday the TOUGHEST part of making the break was explaining to my husband what I felt like I needed to do, understanding & accepting how this choice would look to many PEOPLE, & preparing myself for the hard times, which include: being tight financially, going day to day or auction to auction not knowing how successful or unsuccessful they would be, my husband not understanding what I'm doing & what it takes & losing faith, the critics..., & the process of figuring out EXACTLY what I'm supposed to be doing & HOW to do it. BUT...I know it is a process. I know that what God has planned for me is BIGGER than ANY of my problems. I KNOW that my husband is walking his own spiritual journey & I am WELL familiar with the layers that are getting peeled back & the process that he has to work through to understand it. What is SO beautiful to me is that I can see his FAITH increasing as mine is increasing. It may not be quite as strong (in this area) as mine is, but he is right there with me...working more hours & leaving the house around 4AM most mornings. As I walk this walk there are things that I have to change & different opportunities that present themselves & things that I thought would work that don't, but I KNOW it is the RIGHT path.... I'm not so sure that some of the detours are right, but they all still lead back to the RIGHT path... My work as a marketing liaison was not the right path & I felt it, BUT NOTHING is wasted. The LIFE & SPIRITUAL experience I gained in that position are ALL given to God to bring him the glory & add to my tool bag.

In the MOMENT where I sat down & talked to my husband & told him what I was thinking & MOVED PAST all the FEAR & ANXIETY & DOUBT we BOTH became COMMITTED to following God's plan & not our own. I don't expect EVERYONE to "get it," but I'm glad he got it. I still have FEAR & I know he does too, but I NOW have a DEEPER fear of not DEVELOPING my PURPOSE - GIVEN to me by God.    

Here are some lines that are REALLY important to me from this chapter:

"Spiritual growth is not automatic. It takes an intentional commitment. You must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing." (Note: PERSISTING is the tough part.)

"Behind everything you do is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude." (This line is SO important to me because I tend to downplay myself or extensions of myself. I also doubt myself...quite a bit. It is some layer that is DEEP. I'm aware of it, but don't know exactly how to shake it. I know that it is probably one of the devil's biggest defenses against me & he's PISSED that I even know about it. I should probably read this line every day too.)

"You repent whenever you change the way you think by adopting how God thinks - about yourself, sin, God, other people, life, your future, and everything else." (So here is the answer & DEFINITELY easier said than done.)

"The Bible says that selfish thinking is the source of sinful behaviour: 'Those who live following their sinful selves think only about things that their sinful selves want.' -Romans 8:5 (NCV) The second half of thinking like Jesus is to start thinking maturely, which focuses on others, not yourself." (Stop being selfish & think about others.)

"Point to Ponder: It's never too late to start growing."

Daily Bible Verse: "Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and is pleasing to him & is perfect." Romans 12:2B (TEV)

Daily Question: "What is one area where I need to stop thinking my way & start thinking God's way?"

From My Journal From the First Time of Reading: In everything really. The first thing that came to mind was my work/job/creative projects surrounding it.

It really is EVERY area. It AMAZES me on just how much I try to CONTROL on my own.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! TRUST him & he'll take the lead in EVERY avenue of your life. God Bless!

Day 18: "Experiencing Life Together"

WELCOME readers!! Today is Day 18 as we journey through The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

This chapter echoed ALL of my concerns that arose from yesterday's reading & addresses them. I remember myself feeling the same way the first time I read yesterday's chapter. Like I didn't want to DISAGREE with some of his points, but I couldn't help myself. I'm sharing these blogs as openly and honestly as I can, because that is the only way to do it.

This chapter focuses on FELLOWSHIP. It begins by discussing how today's use of the word has taken pretty far out of context to what the Bible says it is. "Real fellowship is so much more than just showing up at services. It is experiencing life together. It includes unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, sympathetic comforting, and all the other 'one another' commands found in the New Testament." This chapter ultimately talks about the importance of small groups. He discusses how even Jesus traveled in a small group of 12 disciples. Pastor Warren urges us to become a member of a small group within our church.

"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." Matthew 18:20 (NASB)

I am blessed to say that I have friends where I DO FELLOWSHIP REGULARLY. Some are members of my church & some are not. I hold these relationships so sacred. I am truly AMAZED by some of them & know that The Holy Spirit was instrumental in joining us together. This is MORE than being a best friend and knowing all the surface things & secrets...this is talking about all the things we don't know about our faith and God. This is praying for other people you don't know, but that are close to your fellowship friend. This is having the courage to say things to the other that you didn't WANT to say to anyone but God. This is asking for HONEST opinions from friends who's answers will be based on FAITH & UNDERSTANDING & FORGIVENESS. These are SACRED. Go get you some FELLOWSHIP.

The next part of this chapter talks about AUTHENTICITY, which was the MAIN thing I was having trouble with in yesterday's reading. "Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in some churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking, and superficial politeness but shallow conversation. People wear masks, keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real fellowship." I'm doing a lot of quoting, but Pastor Warren REALLY explains this perfectly. This is his description of REAL fellowship: "It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help & prayer." I HAVE DONE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS - JUST A FEW DAYS AGO - MULTIPLE TIMES & I'll probably do it again in less than a week's time. I can't do this to everyone...truly...hardly anyone, but I can to a few.

This chapter also discusses CONFESSING, which I want to touch on a minute. A LOT of people get hung up on the Catholic religion because of the focus they put on CONFESSION. Look...I get it. You don't HAVE to (& most probably don't) tell EVERYTHING to a priest, BUT this is a sure act of FELLOWSHIP. Even if you don't share everything. You are taking the time to REALLY talk about things that some people may NEVER talk about to any other human. I'm not sayin' it's gotta be for you. You can participate in FELLOWSHIP other ways. I LOVED the idea of confession before I converted & I love the actual act of it now. I REALLY like it when there are several priests doing confession & I can really take the time I need without feeling rushed b/c someone else is waiting in line. I remember my first face to face confession. It was with a priest that was doing an Easter mission. He had seen very ungodly things & heard very ungodly things. He listened to confessions in a high security prison for sometime. I got my list together of all that I wanted to confess....ALL of it. My heart was beating out of my chest. I guess I thought he'd be a good priest to break the ice with, considering other things he had heard. Let me tell you...I felt relieved walking out, but I also learned a few things...he wasn't easy on me & he hit the nail on the head  in some areas. A sin is a sin. I can also say that all I do now are face to face confessions. Once you start stepping out into the light...you won't want to go back into the darkness.

This chapter also discusses the importance of giving and receiving to one another in fellowship. The importance of sharing our faith with one another in aim to grow each other's even more. Pastor Warren lists out and explains the different levels of fellowship. For the record...let me say...there are SO MANY LEVELS to EVERYTHING. "The simplest levels of fellowship are the fellowship of sharing and the fellowship of studying God's Word together. A deeper level is the fellowship of serving, as when we minister together on mission trips or mercy projects. The deepest, most intense level is the fellowship of suffering, where we enter into each other's pain and grief and carry each other's burdens."

The last section of this chapter really hits home for me. "In real fellowship people experience mercy." MERCY....We all received mercy & we HAVE to give mercy to others & we have to be able to receive it. FORGIVENESS is a big deal here. We have to do it immediately. "Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice." This is SO hard, but sometimes you have to look at what will justice really give you & what will mercy give the other person...and yourself? Are there times when we might need MERCY?

These are the lines that hit home & give me direction. "Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Trust requires a track record. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. They must prove they have changed over time." This is HARD, but it is the ONLY way. Sometimes people may take steps in the right direction, but the amount of hurt they caused is SO DEEP that you can't allow yourself to forget. I've said before that you have to protect yourself & you do. If you allow other people to continually hurt or attack you...you are dealing with situations that aren't God-given. It is taking away time & energy from your purpose.

"Point to Ponder: I need others in my life."

Daily Bible Verse: "Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

Daily Question: "What one step can I take today to connect with another believer at a more genuine, heart-to-heart level?"

From my Journal: I have key people I do this with. Yesterday I talked to my friend for over 1.5 hours about how Awesome God is and what what he is doing in our lives. I also wrote notes in developing my idea of what I can bring to our church.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! Let's FELLOWSHIP! God Bless!

Day 3: "What Drives Your Life?"

Welcome all the new readers & returning readers!!

Today the book talks about what drives your life... You'll be doing some self-analyzin' today.

Day 3: What Drives Your Life?

Point to Ponder: "Living on purpose is the path to peace."

Daily Verse: "You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you." Isaiah 26:3 (TEV)

Daily Question: "What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?"

Here's what I put in my journal: I really think they'd say all different things. Some would say: 1) to have a successful business & something to leave her kids. 2) To be as successful as she was working for others...for herself. 3) Helping others. 4) Auctioning or selling things. 5) Learning. 6) Living out her purpose. 7) The journey. The people that don't agree with what I'm doing OR don't understand it might say: 8) the attention & praise. 9) the perception of success.

I really think and want my driving force to be fulfilling God's plan for me and managing the relationships and responsibilities of the people I love most, the best way I possibly can.

What I have to ADD: I think PERCEPTION is one of the devil's MOST-USED tools.

Each chapter has several other Bible verses that go along with the chapter & this one had this at the beginning: "I observed that the basic motive for success is the driving force of envy & jealousy!" Ecclesiastes 4:4 (LB)

Here are the MOST important things I took away from this chapter. Ya'lls may be different & that is GOOD. We all apply things differently.

1) We are not supposed to do EVERYTHING or be good at EVERYTHING, so we shouldn't focus on it so much.

2) WE SHOULD STOP DABBLING.

3) We are working on our ETERNAL LEGACY. Living a good life here on earth, will make things easier (maybe) for the people we leave behind, BUT what we should FOCUS on is our ETERNAL LEGACY. There is more than what is here & ALL the PERCEPTION & FLUFF that goes along with our legacy here will be STRIPPED AWAY....to get right down to the nuts & bolts of our use with the time God has given us.

Pastor Warren writes in his book about the two questions WE KNOW (from the Bible) God will ask us when we stand before him: 1) "What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ?" Did we develop a relationship with him, accept what he did for us, & learn to trust him & love him? 2) "What did you do with what I gave you?" Think about some of the things he gave you. Think of all the opportunities, people & relationships, talent, gifts, opportunities, resources... God has given me lots of things...and NOW I can look back and see how its ALL connected together to put me right where I am now. I KNOW with EVERY ounce of me that God has commissioned me with the talent of being an auctioneer & all that goes with it. I also know that this talent could have been revealed to me YEARS ago...& saved me a few steps...BUT I needed to walk those steps. Thus I know that....I will walk this path as long as he wants me to. I will walk through ALL of the doors he opens (& it has happened WITHOUT me asking) & I will TRUST that whatever is ahead of me is GREATER than what is behind me. I also KNOW & am CONTENT with the fact that he might have me flying airplanes or swimming with dolphins 20 years from now....and if that is where he thinks I need to be...I WILL GO.

I believe in GOD's plan!

One other thing I want to talk about is PERCEPTION. I have come to believe that it is one of the devil's STRONGEST tools because it can be placed in the minds of others. It can be placed in our own minds. It can create feelings that are false....& BOTTOM LINE it is a falsehood. PERCEPTION IS NOT REAL, but we ALL STRuggle with it.

This is the definition of perception I'm talking about: a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.

I bring this up because it is ALWAYS present & it will ALWAYS try & deter you OR jack you up some how. Here are some examples:

Having a disagreement with someone, kind of mending it, but never really addressing where the words/emotions/thoughts came from & ULTIMATELY not really getting to know that person & why you both reacted the way you did. Based on the actions of OTHERS or the words of OTHERS you perceive MENTALLY that the two of you never will get along & look at the surface of things...and it ends there. UNLESS someone makes the effort to know that the other person felt guarded, was going through something else, felt a twinge of jealousy or frustration & had other things to work out & that you REALLY would not get it at the time.

Here's another: A person doesn't really know God, has no relationship with God, doesn't know how to pray....not because they don't want to, BUT because they don't know HOW. They didn't grow up knowing God. They start dating someone that has gone to church all their life & EXPECTS them to also. They don't know what to do. They're kind of like a lost duck & they just go through the motions to make the other person happy & make themselves be PERCEIVED as satisfying the "wants" of that person. That perception creates a road block to REALLY developing a relationship with GOD & other people as well....because the motions are just a show that hold no meaning.

One more: Two friends start two different businesses. They both enter into it, excited about helping each other. Things start rolling for both of them & one talks to the other about potential investors & what was important for her & what she THOUGHT she REALLY needed to get her business to the next level, which included the friend's business. The natural twinge of jealousy hits. WHY does SHE have that opportunity? She just got started? The perception of what it SEEMS like & what it may actually be - aren't addressed. A road block starts forming. Instead of digging into how & why & what happened for her to get the interest of investors & ALL the work she might have had to do & how long she'd been working on it...the other starts thinking about how the success of HER business will be PERCEIVED in comparison. The relationship of helping each other halts b/c the FOCUS changes from working together to working on how to reach the PERCEIVED success of the other.

WE worry about the perception others may have about: the homes we build, the church we go to, the cars we drive, the food we eat, the places we go, what organizations we are part of, where we work...EVERYTHING. And if you are sittin' there sayin' you don't...it's time to get HONEST with yourself. Are ALL the choices you make FOCUSED on how your actions or decisions will move you forward on your God-given mission?

I HOPE you guys see what I'm getting at. ALL of the thoughts are PERCEIVED thoughts, that are created by filling in the details we DON'T KNOW! We are ALL meant to work with each other....not against each other. Just think about the PROGRESS that could be made IF we worked WITH each other, instead of by ourselves & if we worked for God's purpose & not with the purpose to please others. We all have our own journey & our own timeline - that we really DON'T have control of. The devil doesn't like progress, unless it benefits his cause...to have more souls join his army.

SO.....I KNOW....lots to think about. But NOW to answer the question of: "What do I want the driving force in my life to be?" Here it is: To COMPLETE God's mission & be stronger & smarter for the next one he gives me. To SHARE with MORE people, how to avoid the devil's ploys. To be a GOOD soldier in God's army. To help the people I love become stronger soldiers for CHRIST. To INTRODUCE my children to God's word, SO they can introduce his LOVE to other children EARLY in life. To MINISTER to people when the OPPORTUNITY arises....or CREATE the opportunity. (Once you OPEN yourself up to that...the opportunities PRESENT themselves.) & TO BLESS OTHERS WITH THE BLESSINGS GOD HAS GIVEN ME.

I mean it ya'll! GO get this book!!! We are only on DAY 3!! BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS!! He's got your mount ready!!

Day 2: "You Are Not an Accident"

I hope some of you have come back for Day 2 of our discussion on Finding our GOD-given purpose & I hope that there are new readers!

It is REALLY important to read these chapters to get the most out of them, so I will only hit the highlights so you all understand the topic. 

DAY 2: You are not an accident.

Daily Verse: "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2 (CEV)

Daily Question: "I know that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?"

Here's what I put in my journal the day of reading: Things I struggle to accept: My inability to keep clean spaces (house, office, car), my struggle with PERFECT button-downed time management, the lack of attention I pay to myself, how long I take to say things that need to be said - after an argument or misunderstanding - PRIDE, scheduling time to do certain, specific things I want to do with my family.

Thoughts after reading the book through:

This chapter discussed how GOD DOESN'T MAKE ACCIDENTS...EVER. It discussed how EVERYTHING in our lives is planned for a purpose. I'm not sure where ya'lls minds take you when you hear this, but I started thinking about several things including:

-Children born to crappy parents.

-Children going thru some of the most unthinkable situations...like child abuse.

-Adults going thru some of the most unthinkable situations...like the Holocaust.

-Things about myself that are less than stellar. 

-Sickness & Disease. 

-The process of aging...& dying. 

You think about all these things & it throws you because they are horrific. BUT then I KNOW... the devil NEVER wins. So in that mess....where is the purpose? 

I didn't get this from the book (although it mentions it). I was listening to an interview of Mr. Rick Warren by Oprah. When he spoke these words they hit my soul. "There might be illegitimate parents, but there are no illegitimate children. God needed that specific DNA to CREATE you!!" We ALL have a purpose & we ALL have a chance. No matter what our circumstances are GOD will not give us more than we can handle.

That statement takes my thoughts back to a situation like the Holocaust, where SO many people died...horrible deaths. What I HAVE to bring it back to is: WHATEVER is passed this life is FAR, FAR greater than ANY suffering on this earth. THE DEVIL DOES NOT WIN! I truly feel like we are all warriors fighting a constant battle with the devil.

When I was a Marketing Liaison for a skilled nursing facility I ran into people of all kinds. One lady I went to visit comes to mind during this chapter. I'd say she was probably in her 50s. She was VERY weak, but of sound mind. She had nothing. She had been in hospitals so long she had lost her apartment & didn't even know where her belongings were. Her elderly mother was sending her what little money she could, but she hadn't heard from her in weeks. I went to see if we could meet her needs. She had no insurance of any kind, so I had to assess whether or not she met the requirements for Medicaid in a skilled nursing facility. So everyone knows, these requirements consist of: meeting a financial requirement (which she did) & having medical necessity. Medical necessity pretty much means that you NEED the care of a nurse 24-7. Some of the diagnosis or conditions that typically meet this requirement are: Dementia, Alzheimers, had the inability to safely administer your medications & Wounds...especially those requiring a wound vac. You would only meet medical necessity with a wound until it had healed to a point where Medicaid deemed you could care for it yourself or call someone to care for it. To put it plainly...if you were of sound mind, could list your medications, & had the ability to call someone for help you would not qualify. It does not matter that this lady was almost too weak to walk & had to have her stomach pumped every other day b/c the fluid would build up from her liver condition. I had to break the news to her that she would not qualify. She was broken. SO broken. She cried & asked me: "WHY? I need help!" I stood there and told her that I agreed & that I was sorry & that I WISH there was a way for us to accept her, but that I would talk with her case manager about other POTENTIAL options. I assured her though...that as long as she had a breath, she still had purpose. 

A few weeks later, I was back at the same hospital & as I was on my way up to meet another patient a tech had wheeled the same lady into the elevator I was in. They were going to run some tests. She was talking to the tech & having a REALLY joy-filled conversation. She looked back & saw me. She smiled & talked to me about how good EVERYONE at the hospital was treating her & how, of all the hospitals she's been at, this was her favorite. She apologized for getting so upset when I visited her, but that she really appreciated me coming. 

I got back to the parking garage & just sat in my car for a minute...KNOWING that, although it was not exactly clear to me, there was a PURPOSE for that meeting. That woman's LIFE still had EXTREME PURPOSE...even though her physical body was broken. 

God's creation TRANSCENDS the physical. It is of another realm...on a level that we have to WORK to get to. A level that will be REVEALED to us when we can handle it. 

Although there are things that are BROKEN about ALL of us, those broken pieces fit together to make a whole that works seamlessly. So now... (even though some people challenge me at EVERY encounter) I KNOW that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US has a a UniQue purpose, tailored by GOD & not one other person will EVER fully understand it. That is why we are supposed to LOVE EACH OTHER ANYWAY.   

Buck up baby & ride with JESUS!! He walked the walk to lead the way, to show us that there is MORE & that ALL our suffering will not be in vain!! GO. GET. THIS. BOOK. & join in on the discussion.