Day 25: "Transformed by Trouble"

Welcome to ALL readers!! I had every intention of writing a blog post each day I was at the Texas Auctioneer Association Convention (Thursday thru Sunday), but EVERY day was jam-packed & I can say (with certainty) that it created immense GROWTH in every area of my being. I can't wait to share some of the experiences with you! In fact...I'll share at least one in today's post as we move on to the next chapter in Pastor Rick Warren's book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? 

The very last session that I listened to, at the convention, was a presentation by a God-fearin', straight-talkin' Auctioneer from Alabama named Bryan Knox. He said all kinds of things that I took notes on, but there was one part of his speech that HIT me! I mean...made me see the reason and the purpose behind some of the things that I had to experience to appreciate where I am now & be in awe of God's plan.

His speech was about PROFESSIONALISM & someone had asked him a question (It had something to do with mentors). He answered it by using an example from The Bible....Paul, Barnabas, & Timothy & the road to Damascus. He discussed how God blinded Paul for 3 days to make him REALLY see...to FILL him with The Holy Spirit. He also discussed how Barnabas mentored Paul & Paul later mentored Timothy. 

For those of you that don't know a lot about Paul (originally names Saul), he persecuted many Christians before he was blinded (for 3 days) by Christ. Total non-believer.... BUT God CHOSE (no matter his past) to FILL him with The Holy Spirit....so much so that wherever he went and spoke it poured out of him & he is considered one of the most (if not the most) influential person in the early church. Paul (thru the vision of Christ & the help of The Holy Spirit) channeled his natural DETERMINATION, that was once used to persecute God's people, to earnestly urge others to also FOLLOW Christ. 

Ok...so you're wondering...where am I going with this? Obviously Paul was totally transformed by trouble, but all of you steady readers know that I like to apply things to my own life. 

There are two MILESTONE areas of TrouBLE that got cleared up in my mind when Mr. Knox shared that story. You guys also know one of my favorite quotes is below:

Yes...I know that many say Steve Jobs was not a Christian when he passed. We aren't gonna know. What I do know is that this man advanced technology & created a break through in communication with the iPhone that allows the immediate SHARING of information....that includes the teachings of The Bible, the open communication of spiritual discussion, & he has linked MORE people together to give us the ability to share our experiences. I'm cuttin' him some slack, because I pray God will cut me some too. 

The combination of that story & this quote made the light bulb turn on. The last two professional positions, where I was working for someone else, were maybe some of the toughest, most mentally-draining & self-analyzing situations I have EVER dealt with. I won't go into ALL the details again, because I've blogged about them before. Just know that I loved the first company SO much that I really thought I'd retire there....LOVED it...loved the job...I was good at it...I felt appreciated & then... all that changed. I was in a situation where I was being to asked to work harder for less money. I was dealing with jealousy & resentment. The SUPPORT that I once had...left. I probably prayed the HARDEST during that time. The money was good, but the VALUE that I held for myself was flying out the window piece by piece every day. Here was my exact prayer to God...at 2AM in the morning...tears rolling down my cheeks: "God, I know I was supposed to be here. I know I'm not supposed to be here anymore, but I don't know where you want me. I just want to do something where I can use the skills you've given me, love my husband, provide for our family, & give back to people & bring you the glory." So....as I'm sitting there listening..."connecting the dots," I realize that, that time of struggle got me to a milestone in my life...where I took the thought God brought me in prayer (becoming an auctioneer) & made the conscious decision to ACT on it.

Although I acted on it...God still had to WORK on me....but maybe he was just PREPARING me :). I stayed working in that job a little while longer...in fear of not having the money I thought we needed. Then we made the move back home & of course...the situation with work didn't get any better, but we were in a place where we had more SUPPORT. I was still afraid of not having the money WE felt like WE needed & took another job in medical sales (skilled nursing). Man...that job was tough on so many different levels for me. I was doing a lot of "work" that didn't make sense to me...in the sense of how important it really was. I also had to learn & get familiar with all kinds of different diagnosis & the Medicare & Medicaid & insurance processes & travel to hospitals to meet with patients & families & encounter REALLY tough situations. I became familiar with home health & hospice agencies & specialists & nurses & doctors. While doing all that... I had two bosses that REALLY didn't care for each other, but I had to report to both of them. I could NEVER make both of them happy....Ever...EVER. It was MISERABLE & just SO draining. What is really interesting is the thing that I really wanted to do: be of service to common, normal people when they REALLY needed it....I really couldn't be because my hands were tied by Medicare & Medicaid & insurance guidelines & the admittance & dismissal dates of hospitals & the orders from the patients' doctors OR my company itself. So what was I REALLY accomplishing? What was the purpose? So again....as I was listening & "connecting the dots," I can see how God was SHOWING me that I can NEVER....EVER serve two people...or two Gods & have any POSITIVE effect on anything. I didn't have that exact thought when I gave my notice. I just truly felt like the longer I stayed there, the longer I was working against God & his plan for my life & I reached a point where the money didn't matter anymore. I can NOW also see how God USED that process to open my eyes. Talk about being transformed by trouble....

Sometimes I feel like people think I'm "preachin'" to them when I write these posts. Guys...I'm not trying to preach to you. I am tying to SHARE with you how God acted & continues to act in my life. I have been left in AWE so many times since I quit that job that it is HUMBLING. There is NO DOUBT in my mind that God really does have a path for all of us to walk & as we continue to peel back & work through our junk (OUR perceived needs & wants & pre-conceived notions of what WE think we should be) & just let God lead us, more & more will be revealed to us...& the walk will get easier. 

God led me to that convention last week & took me to a place (internally) that had me READY to soak in every ounce of it. It struck a cord with every level of my being: professionally (how to run a business, how to build a business, how to develop my skill, how to lead my team), my confidence & self assurance, my ability & capacity to figure out how to allow all the pieces of my life fit together, & throughout the ENTIRE convention....EVERYONE continued to LIFT it all up for God's glory....which is the ONLY reason I am on this path.  

"Point to Ponder: There is purpose behind every problem."

Daily Bible Verse: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28(NIV)

Daily Question: "What problem in my life has caused the greatest growth in me?"

From my journal the first day of reading: The constant, or ever-present feeling that I can ALWAYS do better, or that I don't measure up in certain areas. It's like I try to master it, or at least really spend some time with it. It has developed lots of things in me: perseverance, understanding of human nature, self-growth, spiritual growth, etc. - because I am constantly looking out and up. 

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! He will ALWAYS lead you out of your TroUBle if you let him. God Bless!

Day 3: "What Drives Your Life?"

Welcome all the new readers & returning readers!!

Today the book talks about what drives your life... You'll be doing some self-analyzin' today.

Day 3: What Drives Your Life?

Point to Ponder: "Living on purpose is the path to peace."

Daily Verse: "You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you." Isaiah 26:3 (TEV)

Daily Question: "What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?"

Here's what I put in my journal: I really think they'd say all different things. Some would say: 1) to have a successful business & something to leave her kids. 2) To be as successful as she was working for others...for herself. 3) Helping others. 4) Auctioning or selling things. 5) Learning. 6) Living out her purpose. 7) The journey. The people that don't agree with what I'm doing OR don't understand it might say: 8) the attention & praise. 9) the perception of success.

I really think and want my driving force to be fulfilling God's plan for me and managing the relationships and responsibilities of the people I love most, the best way I possibly can.

What I have to ADD: I think PERCEPTION is one of the devil's MOST-USED tools.

Each chapter has several other Bible verses that go along with the chapter & this one had this at the beginning: "I observed that the basic motive for success is the driving force of envy & jealousy!" Ecclesiastes 4:4 (LB)

Here are the MOST important things I took away from this chapter. Ya'lls may be different & that is GOOD. We all apply things differently.

1) We are not supposed to do EVERYTHING or be good at EVERYTHING, so we shouldn't focus on it so much.

2) WE SHOULD STOP DABBLING.

3) We are working on our ETERNAL LEGACY. Living a good life here on earth, will make things easier (maybe) for the people we leave behind, BUT what we should FOCUS on is our ETERNAL LEGACY. There is more than what is here & ALL the PERCEPTION & FLUFF that goes along with our legacy here will be STRIPPED AWAY....to get right down to the nuts & bolts of our use with the time God has given us.

Pastor Warren writes in his book about the two questions WE KNOW (from the Bible) God will ask us when we stand before him: 1) "What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ?" Did we develop a relationship with him, accept what he did for us, & learn to trust him & love him? 2) "What did you do with what I gave you?" Think about some of the things he gave you. Think of all the opportunities, people & relationships, talent, gifts, opportunities, resources... God has given me lots of things...and NOW I can look back and see how its ALL connected together to put me right where I am now. I KNOW with EVERY ounce of me that God has commissioned me with the talent of being an auctioneer & all that goes with it. I also know that this talent could have been revealed to me YEARS ago...& saved me a few steps...BUT I needed to walk those steps. Thus I know that....I will walk this path as long as he wants me to. I will walk through ALL of the doors he opens (& it has happened WITHOUT me asking) & I will TRUST that whatever is ahead of me is GREATER than what is behind me. I also KNOW & am CONTENT with the fact that he might have me flying airplanes or swimming with dolphins 20 years from now....and if that is where he thinks I need to be...I WILL GO.

I believe in GOD's plan!

One other thing I want to talk about is PERCEPTION. I have come to believe that it is one of the devil's STRONGEST tools because it can be placed in the minds of others. It can be placed in our own minds. It can create feelings that are false....& BOTTOM LINE it is a falsehood. PERCEPTION IS NOT REAL, but we ALL STRuggle with it.

This is the definition of perception I'm talking about: a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.

I bring this up because it is ALWAYS present & it will ALWAYS try & deter you OR jack you up some how. Here are some examples:

Having a disagreement with someone, kind of mending it, but never really addressing where the words/emotions/thoughts came from & ULTIMATELY not really getting to know that person & why you both reacted the way you did. Based on the actions of OTHERS or the words of OTHERS you perceive MENTALLY that the two of you never will get along & look at the surface of things...and it ends there. UNLESS someone makes the effort to know that the other person felt guarded, was going through something else, felt a twinge of jealousy or frustration & had other things to work out & that you REALLY would not get it at the time.

Here's another: A person doesn't really know God, has no relationship with God, doesn't know how to pray....not because they don't want to, BUT because they don't know HOW. They didn't grow up knowing God. They start dating someone that has gone to church all their life & EXPECTS them to also. They don't know what to do. They're kind of like a lost duck & they just go through the motions to make the other person happy & make themselves be PERCEIVED as satisfying the "wants" of that person. That perception creates a road block to REALLY developing a relationship with GOD & other people as well....because the motions are just a show that hold no meaning.

One more: Two friends start two different businesses. They both enter into it, excited about helping each other. Things start rolling for both of them & one talks to the other about potential investors & what was important for her & what she THOUGHT she REALLY needed to get her business to the next level, which included the friend's business. The natural twinge of jealousy hits. WHY does SHE have that opportunity? She just got started? The perception of what it SEEMS like & what it may actually be - aren't addressed. A road block starts forming. Instead of digging into how & why & what happened for her to get the interest of investors & ALL the work she might have had to do & how long she'd been working on it...the other starts thinking about how the success of HER business will be PERCEIVED in comparison. The relationship of helping each other halts b/c the FOCUS changes from working together to working on how to reach the PERCEIVED success of the other.

WE worry about the perception others may have about: the homes we build, the church we go to, the cars we drive, the food we eat, the places we go, what organizations we are part of, where we work...EVERYTHING. And if you are sittin' there sayin' you don't...it's time to get HONEST with yourself. Are ALL the choices you make FOCUSED on how your actions or decisions will move you forward on your God-given mission?

I HOPE you guys see what I'm getting at. ALL of the thoughts are PERCEIVED thoughts, that are created by filling in the details we DON'T KNOW! We are ALL meant to work with each other....not against each other. Just think about the PROGRESS that could be made IF we worked WITH each other, instead of by ourselves & if we worked for God's purpose & not with the purpose to please others. We all have our own journey & our own timeline - that we really DON'T have control of. The devil doesn't like progress, unless it benefits his cause...to have more souls join his army.

SO.....I KNOW....lots to think about. But NOW to answer the question of: "What do I want the driving force in my life to be?" Here it is: To COMPLETE God's mission & be stronger & smarter for the next one he gives me. To SHARE with MORE people, how to avoid the devil's ploys. To be a GOOD soldier in God's army. To help the people I love become stronger soldiers for CHRIST. To INTRODUCE my children to God's word, SO they can introduce his LOVE to other children EARLY in life. To MINISTER to people when the OPPORTUNITY arises....or CREATE the opportunity. (Once you OPEN yourself up to that...the opportunities PRESENT themselves.) & TO BLESS OTHERS WITH THE BLESSINGS GOD HAS GIVEN ME.

I mean it ya'll! GO get this book!!! We are only on DAY 3!! BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS!! He's got your mount ready!!