Pruning

 Life with God is SUCH an adventure. It is a roller-coaster of emotions. One of my greatest blessings are friends, that love Jesus as much as I do AND love to come together in fellowship over Him.

This week, I had several things happen where I felt: betrayed, blind-sided, and disrespected. All were swarming around the same group of influence, and well....I did not feel cared about, by those I care about. 

And it stung. 

The day before, I received a similar message, that was so much easier for me to release into the hands of Jesus. But the next one stung and I was having a much harder time letting it go. What I mean by "letting it go" is laying it at Jesus's feet and moving on with life....my to-do list.......my project at hand. It was like it kept tapping me on my forehead, and so finally.....I sent a message to two friends; both of which I count as SUCH blessings. When you find friends that you can talk Jesus with, pray for them, bless them, love them, be available to them and count your blessings. One of the coolest things that happens with friends like that, is: as you sit there working out your questions and concerns, discussing The Word and other life experiences, you recognize the movement of The Holy Spirit. Two of us were blessed to experience that together and Oh! How that changed the entire trajectory of the situation. 

I've talked and wrote before about how God blesses our obedience, but He surprises me with it EVERY time. We are just sitting there talking....and we had a lengthy discussion about the pruning process, what it looks like when you trim old growth back to create room for new growth, what God says about pruning in scripture, and so on. We near the end of the conversation, I recline back in my chair and have the SUDDEN REALIZATION that God gave me a DIRECT answer to my obedience. 

Image credit to: Wenke Greenhouses in Kalamazoo, Michigan - LINK HERE

My hang up was, that I would not have chose it for myself. However, I have been through this uncomfortable, and the most recent time, mournful experience before. I resisted and contemplated that first "pruning" hard....or at least the first one that I became aware of how God was working. I, myself didn't really want this person pruned out of my life, but every time I prayed into it I'd get a "whoa." That's what I call it. I'd get the "whoa" when I was about to send that text, or about to make that call. Now, I understand a little better. 

In my most recent situation, where I phoned a friend, I wasn't focusing on that type of pruning. I was looking at it as more of a  "type of work" pruning. It is definitely that, because that is what I layed out my own personal boundaries to, prayed to Him about, and put into motion. What He ALSO did, was bless me with the ability to see the hearts of others. See the hearts of others I have invested my time and energy into. He's teaching me how to prune also, so we can prune together...and maybe more than anything...help me to let it go sooner.

John 15:1-17

Yes, I am left in awe. It is still bittersweet, but I know it is for my good. How our God is so subtle and yet SO powerful. 

Seeing God work, yet physically seeing nothing.....that is the supernatural work of God. It truly is INCREDIBLE. Words don't even do it justice. I want to ENCOURAGE YOU to Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! He sees things we do not and HE MAKES A WAY!

Everything is God's

I am making my way through the Bible & yesterday I finished the Book of First Chronicles. The book ends re-addressing all the plans The Holy Spirit impressed on King David about the Temple. It recaps that King David's son Solomon will become King and actually be in charge of building the temple. It explains why & what God's reasons were. It lists out all the different people appointed to all the different jobs. It discusses all the supplies and labor needed and where it came from. All the important details were listed there.

There are two things that stick with me as I meditate on the lessons in this book.

1) God being impartial to the specific people that were assigned a job. Jobs were assigned by clans or tribes, but lots were drawn (regardless of age and experience) as to who got what duty.

2) David acknowledges & proclaims that EVERYTHING is God's. All the supplies and laborers that he lined up were already God's. He blessed him and others with certain skills and abilities, but all of everything already belongs to God. Not only did King David know this, but he proclaimed it to the ENTIRE kingdom. He also acknowledge weaknesses of man & that God did and will provide in our weakness. He proclaimed this in the assembly, almost seeming in a way, to be sure these facts were VERY clear to everyone.

These two points have been VERY helpful to me over the last week. God has blessed me with the ability to apply these lessons and discern in my own personal situations where they should apply.

No matter how much as a business-owner you don't want to micro-manage, you've learned that sometimes, in some situations, you really need to. Yet, there is this constant struggle of what to turn loose of a little bit & what to focus on. I found myself there, even in team building & the different skills that team members possess. I'm still contemplating my current situation and all the ways the first lesson applies, but it is definitely shedding light on the situation.

As my business has gone through different growth phases, my view has had to get bigger and bigger and bigger. You learn there are risks you have to take for the potential to offer more services - producing more income, knowing that you aren't producing more income yet. You learn how valuable your time is when the workload increases, but your time doesn't. You figure out that you need to hire someone to help you, not really knowing what that looks like because you've never done it. I believe these types of situations are the ingredients for the wisdom He wants to download to us, to develop us for whatever He has waiting ahead of us.

I also have to remember to stay looking ahead, not to the right or left at what someone else is doing. That is not my business, not my journey, and not my call. He has put me on this path, to carry out this plan, with the help of the people He places on it. It can be a hard thing when you know your heart is being conditioned towards a new direction, but you know your current work is right where you're at. Imagine excitement toward a new goal & confusion for what to do next where you are at. You have to figure out the next step now to get to the new goal. That is where I find myself. I see the bigger vision, where both situations co-exist. I'm just not exactly sure how to get there, BUT I know I'll get there....& it will be better than I think it will be.

What has ALWAYS helped me is that I truly believe that this is God's plan for my life. Not mine. I dig His plan. It is one that I did not expect & it has been an incredibly rewarding ride. With all that, I believe that as long as my heart, towards the plan, in grounded in helping people and doing the best job possible in my given situation, He will take care of the rest. He always has. I'm not saying it hasn't been frustrating or confusing or inconvenient. It has, but it has always led me to a place I hadn't planned on going.

Just like the message I believe King David was proclaiming in that assembly, we can do NOTHING alone. God's hand & will & strength & love is in everything. It is all a gift to us to draw us closer to Him. It is all for our benefit...a benefit we are unable to fathom in our flesh.

Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! All things are His and He is giving it to you.

"Day 23: How We Grow"

On to Day 23 from the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

I feel like there is a line in this chapter that I need to continually read over & OVER again...for the rest of my life! "Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you....We become whatever we are committed to." -Pastor Warren

We all have commitments: our marriages, our families, our careers, our friendships, our church...

When I was working as a marketing liaison for the skilled nursing facility I learned something....& (no doubt) The Holy Spirit was teaching me....& all the people I came in contact with. I took the job for a couple reasons...one was money. I was SO concerned about having enough $$$ to support my family like I was able to with my previous job. The other was that I'd be able to help people on a level that was SO important to them & help them find solutions. Well....mind you...INTERNALLY I wanted to do the same thing, using my auctioneer license....make enough $$ to help create a good life for my family & HELP PEOPLE on a level that they REALLY needed help with. So I went on for almost a year working as a marketing liaison, going into hospitals, talking to patients & families will all kinds of different needs, diagnosis, backgrounds, financial issues, etc. I talked to doctors, floor nurses, case managers, specialists, hospice managers, home health marketers, administrators, social workers, gatekeepers...

So what did I learn (that applies to this chapter)? I learned that although...I was staying bUsY & I was TRYING to help EVERY patient or family I came in contact with....I couldn't....at least not the way I thought someone in my position would be able to. I also learned as I was getting HOUNDED for not having a 144 page market analysis done (which I was required to do BEFORE OR AFTER my 8-5:30 job & before & after my hour long commute each way) & not "staying on top" of 2 of my BOSSES... that what the company was asking me to do....was REALLY just BuSy work too & wasn't ACCOMPLISHING anything....for anybody really. It also made me see that this money that I was making was coming with a HEAVY price on my part. I was accomplishing one goal....having enough $$$ to provide for my family, but it was SO UNHEALTHY...for everything important to me: my family, my friendships (although I picked up some pretty special ones along the way), myself & my health (physical, mental, & emotional), BUT most importantly MY GOD.

My ability, my drive, & my ENERGY of having the ability to call an auction, raise money for people, & run an auction were all DISCOVERED, GOD-GIVEN talents. STRAIGHT UP....the simple thought that came to me through INTENSE prayer was the CATALYST for the chanGE that you are witnessing....& I was abandoning it....to have enough $$$$ to support my family (what I thought...was enough money)... I think I called one auction the entire year I had that job. I was sitting there in this MISERABLE situation I put myself in, with other MISERABLE people (not all of them, but many) & PRAYING to GOD to give me some answers....when he already had.

When I say the journey we are walking with The Holy Trinity is intense...I mean it, BUT the REALLY intense parts...we usually do to ourselves... ALL I have to do is TRUST in GOD's PLAN. So...besides having to go to work everyday the TOUGHEST part of making the break was explaining to my husband what I felt like I needed to do, understanding & accepting how this choice would look to many PEOPLE, & preparing myself for the hard times, which include: being tight financially, going day to day or auction to auction not knowing how successful or unsuccessful they would be, my husband not understanding what I'm doing & what it takes & losing faith, the critics..., & the process of figuring out EXACTLY what I'm supposed to be doing & HOW to do it. BUT...I know it is a process. I know that what God has planned for me is BIGGER than ANY of my problems. I KNOW that my husband is walking his own spiritual journey & I am WELL familiar with the layers that are getting peeled back & the process that he has to work through to understand it. What is SO beautiful to me is that I can see his FAITH increasing as mine is increasing. It may not be quite as strong (in this area) as mine is, but he is right there with me...working more hours & leaving the house around 4AM most mornings. As I walk this walk there are things that I have to change & different opportunities that present themselves & things that I thought would work that don't, but I KNOW it is the RIGHT path.... I'm not so sure that some of the detours are right, but they all still lead back to the RIGHT path... My work as a marketing liaison was not the right path & I felt it, BUT NOTHING is wasted. The LIFE & SPIRITUAL experience I gained in that position are ALL given to God to bring him the glory & add to my tool bag.

In the MOMENT where I sat down & talked to my husband & told him what I was thinking & MOVED PAST all the FEAR & ANXIETY & DOUBT we BOTH became COMMITTED to following God's plan & not our own. I don't expect EVERYONE to "get it," but I'm glad he got it. I still have FEAR & I know he does too, but I NOW have a DEEPER fear of not DEVELOPING my PURPOSE - GIVEN to me by God.    

Here are some lines that are REALLY important to me from this chapter:

"Spiritual growth is not automatic. It takes an intentional commitment. You must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing." (Note: PERSISTING is the tough part.)

"Behind everything you do is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude." (This line is SO important to me because I tend to downplay myself or extensions of myself. I also doubt myself...quite a bit. It is some layer that is DEEP. I'm aware of it, but don't know exactly how to shake it. I know that it is probably one of the devil's biggest defenses against me & he's PISSED that I even know about it. I should probably read this line every day too.)

"You repent whenever you change the way you think by adopting how God thinks - about yourself, sin, God, other people, life, your future, and everything else." (So here is the answer & DEFINITELY easier said than done.)

"The Bible says that selfish thinking is the source of sinful behaviour: 'Those who live following their sinful selves think only about things that their sinful selves want.' -Romans 8:5 (NCV) The second half of thinking like Jesus is to start thinking maturely, which focuses on others, not yourself." (Stop being selfish & think about others.)

"Point to Ponder: It's never too late to start growing."

Daily Bible Verse: "Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and is pleasing to him & is perfect." Romans 12:2B (TEV)

Daily Question: "What is one area where I need to stop thinking my way & start thinking God's way?"

From My Journal From the First Time of Reading: In everything really. The first thing that came to mind was my work/job/creative projects surrounding it.

It really is EVERY area. It AMAZES me on just how much I try to CONTROL on my own.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! TRUST him & he'll take the lead in EVERY avenue of your life. God Bless!