Fasting and Rhythm

 12/27/14 - I have recently finished fasting from ALL liquid. except water. It originally started out as a 40-day fast & turned into a 47-day fast. I had made a decision to start reading The Bible daily & I started by reading from The Golden Book Children's Bible. The majority of this Bible is Old Testament. Even though it is a Children's Bible, it goes into quite a bit of detail & still took some research to really try and understand some of the messages. After I would read an Old Testament story...I would randomly open my New Testament Bible & read whatever story it took me to. A few days into doing this.... "40 days" kept popping up & I just felt led to start my fast.

I learned A LOT from this fast, this Bible time, & I KNOW that I strengthened my relationship with God. The lesson I want to share with you is that 7 days into this fast, I was at an auction. It was a pretty big success (for several reasons) & a very close family friend asked me if they could buy me a beer. I politely declined twice. As they persisted the third time, I told them I really didn't need one, but still allowed them to buy me a beer and drank it. I came home & had my Bible time & dinner as I just sat there and prayed & talked to God about it. I asked for forgiveness, but the whole time...felt an immense amount of joy & peace & thankfulness....for how the auction turned out for everyone involved. I remember thinking how I would have normally been MUCH harder on myself about caving, but....THANKS BE TO GOD....the JOY won out.

Fast forward to Day 40. We were at our friends' house in South Texas. The night before they wanted us all to have a glass of eggnog & I politely declined...kindly passing it off as being tired (which I was), but not sharing WHY I didn't want any. The next day, all us girls went to town shopping & we talked about all kinds of Bible things & my fast included, because I felt comfortable sharing with her. That night...her husband asked me if I wanted eggnog 3 times. I awkwardly turned him down & the third time he poured me a glass. I can tell you that, if I hadn't told my friend earlier in the day & had her support, I am almost positive I would have buckled....on DAY 40. I had mixed emotions about that. Really disappointed that I didn't know how to stand firm, with someone I feel pretty comfortable around....or how to share WHY I was doing it....or being WORRIED about how people would perceive it...or not knowing how to explain it.

So I went to the room we were staying in, started praying & talked to God about the whole thing & brought up the 7th day beer & asked God to just show me if he wanted me to fast 7 more days, or if it should be over. There were two things that popped out to me in my reading for that day. I started reading about Jesus's arrest. The first lesson was about Peter denying Jesus 3 times before the cock crowed. What resonated with me was the number 3 & how bitter he was towards himself. I also read where Pontius Pilate wanted to release Jesus & the third time/chance for him to release Him, he turned to the crowd & condemned Jesus because THE CROWD wanted him dead.  (Luke 22:54-23:25) I mean...it was like a reaction...a survival mechanism, but survival from what? I think it was created because of the worry of peoples' perceptions of them. It is so frustrating for me to read stories in The Bible (both Old and New Testaments) where people buckle so quickly from what they feel the need to do(which is The Holy Spirit leading them)...just to please people. Then I turned around and did the same thing. Needless to say.... I decided to go seven more days. Right now, I feel like holding firm a third time puts your feet on solid ground.

A few days later I read about Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan.  Jesus had fasted for 40 days and nights. First the devil said to him: "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread." Jesus answered him saying: "It is WRITTEN: Man shall not live by bread alone, buy by every word that comes out of the mouth of God." Then the devil says to  Jesus: "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written that He shall put his angels in charge of you to keep you safe, and they shall catch you in their hands, lest you strike your foot against a stone." Jesus said to him: "It is WRITTEN also: You shall not tempt the Lord your God," Then the devil took him to the top of a very big mountain & showed him all the kingdoms & said to Jesus: "All these things I will give you, if you will fall down & worship me." Then Jesus said: "Away, Satan. For it is WRITTEN: You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve." Then the devil LEFT him.....after the third test...& the angels came and ministered to Jesus. (Matthew Chapter 4). I also want to point out that even the Son of God uses Scripture when dealing with the devil.

A few days ago as I was cleaning & getting my house ready for Christmas company.....a note that I had typed on my phone back in May popped up. I don't really think anything is random anymore...it may seem like it, but EVERYTHING has purpose. It was a note I had typed during a T.D. Jakes sermon I had watched. I want to start out by saying that I (just a few days before I saw this note) did not agree with something that was posted on T.D. Jakes's social media site. As I read the comments and realized that A LOT of people also disagreed & some had also made the decision to quit following him all together....I remembered how important forgiveness is & not condemning. I thought about all the forgiveness I've been shown by God and people in my life & made the decision that I don't have to agree with everything everyone says, BUT I can take away & apply what I do agree with.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." -Proverbs 27:17

This sermon really gave me some structure in what to look for, as I started building my TEAM this year. When I say "TEAM," I think about the people in my corner & the people's corner that I WANT to be in.

"You need people with your rhythm. If they don't have your rhythm; they will find you abusive."

"Create a system that supports your rhythm."

"Develop what you need to sustain you."

"You can't explain to a turtle a giraffe decision." (Important to note that turtles can do things giraffes can't & vice versa.) I've also learned that turtles & giraffes can be in the same rhythm carrying out different tasks.

"There are people that feed you & people that deplete you."

"When you need to get fed....get fed. Then go out and feed others. Go back and get fed when you need it."

 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 speaks to this. It discusses how people are given different gifts, but they all work together as one....even though their skills and talents are different.

In many books throughout The Bible (Romans, 1 Corinthians, 1 Peter, Psalms...) we are reminded of the importance to take care of ourselves....mind, body, soul, & spirit. I think one of the key things to doing this (that I didn't really understand, or know how to go about getting there) is creating a support system that can suffice the UniQue needs that you have. The right people are put in our lives for that very purpose.

As this year winds down & I reflect back on my spiritual growth, my growth in relationships closest to me, & growth in my business - which is also part of my ministry & maybe my mission...I really am left in awe. I have to battle different things daily, like: people pleasing, fear of all kinds, judgement of myself and others, learning to forgive - even when I don't want to, letting go of control....amongst other things. However, I am MOST thankful this year, for my courage to leave the working for someone else world to enter the working for myself world. That decision has helped me to really focus on all the things that REALLY matter and allowed me the freedom to do it. I'm still figuring things out, but I will be for the rest of my life. I'm thankful for my awareness. Pay attention to things: talents, the people that fill you up, the people that deplete you, the people that need you, the gifts God is giving you...just be aware.

Buck Up Baby & ride with Jesus.

Own Your Awesome....Don't be Intimidated

In my most recent post, I shared my experience after leaving The Gathering (which for you new readers, was an AWESOME gathering of women...many in business, sharing their journeys & their Jesus). I was SO encouraged by these ladies & this gathering & the number of ladies that showed up to hear these testimonies.That being said, a few days after The Gathering...I wrote down some of the topics that just stuck with me after being there. I will blog about ALL of them & have prayed that I tell this story how God needs me to & write about these topics how He wants me to & in His order...not my own. On my own...I would have moved this a little further down the list, but as I sat with them & prayed for guidance...this is the one I feel compelled to share. I don't say any of what I'm getting ready to share in judgement &, quite frankly, applaud each lady that got up there & SHARED. I've been in this place that I'm fixing to talk about & still go to that place & I KNOW (in my case) the enemy is trying to steal my sunshine & I just feel led to share my experience & my reactions.

At The Gathering ....a few of the speakers would get up there & start to discredit or disqualify themselves, right off the bat. Boy was I familiar with that. It's like, in a way, we think we are being humble, but really we are letting the enemy toy with our worthiness. 

I couldn't quite put my finger on it right away, but the more people got up to speak the more I could feel a gentle brush of agitation, every time someone would say something questioning their own worthiness. I think my Spirit was getting agitated & I couldn't quite put my finger on it, in my flesh...until I prayed on it. It was like...when a razorback curr dog gets a little agitated & the hair starts standing up on it's back...right before it barks...(Yeah...I know I just country-fied this post, but that was the image that came to my head to describe it.)

It didn't take away from what they had to say (for me), but it bothered me that they felt like they should put that limit on themselves & it bothered me that I was so familiar with it. 

Here's an example of what I'm talking about: "I haven't studied this as much as so & so." OR "I've only been in business X number of years." OR "I'm sure other people might do it differently."

HERE ME: I was that person EVERY time I had to get in front of a group of people....and I get in front of groups of people A LOT, being an auctioneer. If I could paint a picture of what my head is like a couple days before a big auction...it would be a bright & dull, menagerie of all kinds of random, made-up CraZY. ALL kinds of things go through my head like: "I'm not an expert on antiques OR coins OR guns OR furniture & here I am selling this stuff to people." OR "These people know more about this stuff than I do." "Will people show up? Did I think of everything? What am I missing?" OR "I am in a room FULL of rich, intelligent, successful people. They are going to look at me...like 'Who does she think she is?'" OR "Will these rich, intelligent, successful people take me seriously? How will they respond to me? Should I be doing this? Am I out of my league?" "Will my crew act professional? Did I tell them all they need to know? Do I need more people?" "Will they know this dress is from Target? Do I know what I am doing?"

Boy, I tell you.....It was exhausting. I say "WAS" because just this past year, I walked into a situation that had me in a place where preparation was not really an option & the person that hired me knew it. I had already planned an estate auction (where we had less than 2 weeks to organize, from the contract date). I had preview day on Saturday & the auction was on Sunday. I had a friend call, that was in a jam. She's a pretty well-respected lady, that had a pretty fancy gala coming up, where the auctioneer couldn't come, last minute. She asked if I could help. I told her on the upfront, what I had going on, got the specifics on date/time/place & told her I'd call her back. 

I took this one straight to prayer. I don't do things like this, very much, anymore. I like to help from start (planning) to finish (post-auction results). If I told her yes it would be going against my plans on how I do things & jammin' up my schedule, & (if not done correctly) could take away from the upcoming auction I had. So.......in spite of what my fleshy self thought it should do...I told her I could make it...ironed out all the details & moved forward. The day came.....It had rained at our preview day & I literally had 55 minutes by the time we shut everything down to change and get from Point A to Point B & take the mic. I called a friend that lived close to Point A...changed clothes (I didn't need a shower. I got rained on.) Me & my assistant (aka World Transitioner) loaded up & caravaned to Point B. On the drive over...we talked about the auction items....our concerns...good starting bids & said...."Well, this is about as unprepared as I've ever been. I'm just gonna have to let The Holy Spirit lead me on this one." I felt this internal prompting the whole day to be slow to speak & keep my mouth shut unless I NEEDED to speak. We got there. I met with my contact. Met the emcees & ring men, looked over the list of items, walked around to see what kind of event we were at & sat patiently...with the my World Transitioner...until I needed to do my part.

Well....I was up there with a couple BIG personalities. They were very nice, worked well with each other & with me, kept the crowd entertained, said what they had to say & then turned it over to me. I would normally, in that situation, forced some words, tried to fill other spaces in some form or fashion, put some kind of limit on myself in some kind of way, BUT - In the back of my mind I just kept thinking....be slow to speak & keep your mouth shut unless you need to say something. 

I did just that & it was VERY successful. It's hard to explain...but I'll try. It was like the energy was different. Like if my role was a cup...it runneth over. I didn't TRY that hard. I just worked off what I had, where I was, with the people that were there...& had a support person there. I received GREAT referrals & feedback & more business off of it. 

Here is the lesson...that I have to remind myself of on a regular basis (still before every auction IF I keep myself aware of it). We are THE ONLY PERSON that can carry out our role. We have exactly what we need, where we are, with the right people around us. We are called to walk, one foot in front of the other, owning our AWESOME. There is NO ONE else that can do what you are doing! There is not one of those wealthy, intelligent, successful people that could have done what The Holy Spirit did through me. There is something I said before I got there that just intrigues me: "I'm just gonna have to let The Holy Spirit lead me on this one." Now I say..."Holy Spirit don't leave me & help me submit to you." It is hard. It really is a battle between our flesh (the impulses & thoughts & ideas of this world) & our spirit (that part of us that surpasses our fleshy understanding that has this divine connection to our maker). It's like a battle of CONTROL vs. SUBMISSION & we win, when we submit...which is not what the world tells us.

 At The Gathering that night...there is NO DOUBT in my mind that The Holy Spirit filled every one of those ladies up, with all the right STUFF to share their story in the name of JESUS! Every single speaker shared words that resonated with me & I'm sure those same speakers resonated with each person there, differently! That is the mysterious, AWESOME power of The Holy Spirit!

Buck Up Baby! Ride With Jesus, & OWN your awesome!! You are the ONLY person that can carry out the mission at hand. You are the only person that can share your piece of Jesus to others & help them to know Him better. DO NOT let the enemy rob you, manipulate you, trick you, or diminish you. Rebuke your menagerie of crazy & stand BOLDLY in the place where you are called. Because of our flesh, there is no doubt that we will continually wrestle with this, BUT you have been chosen. You are enough. You are needed. You are equipped. You are called. You are protected. You will prosper. You will provide. You will fulfill.You can not be compared to ANYONE. More will happen through you than anything you can even imagine. 

 

God Bless!

 

Day 37: "Sharing Your Life Message"

Today we continue on to Day 37 in Pastor Rick Warren's Book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?

This chapter does a FANTASTIC job of breaking it down to how we can bullet point all the important parts of our life message...thus far. Like I've said before...These chapters are chalked full of SO much good information, so PLEASE read it....really read it. My plan is to go through Pastor Warren's bullet points & SHARE my experiences.

First of all:
"Your Life Message has four parts to it:
-Your testimony: the story of how you began a relationship with Jesus.
-Your life lessons: the most important lessons God has taught you.
-Your godly passions: the issues God shaped you to care about most.
-The Good News: the message of salvation. "

Keep that in mind as we go through this. Here are a few other quotes from the book to help put the IMPORTANCE of this into perspective.

"There is no other story just like yours, so only you can share it."

"Actually, your personal testimony is more effective than a sermon, because unbelievers see pastors as professional salesmen, but see you as a 'satisfied customer,' so they give you more credibility."

"Shared stories build a relational bridge that Jesus can walk across from your heart to theirs."

"The Bible says, 'A warning given by an experienced person to someone willing to listen is more valuable than...jewelry made of the finest gold.'"

The book challenges you to WRITE OUT your testimony & KNOW the key points of it, by asking these four points: (I'll answer with MY answers.)

"1. What my life was like before I met Jesus." - confusing & a little chaotic
"2. How I realized I needed Jesus." - I had questions and issues and concerns that either no one could help me with, no one knew how to help me, no one wanted to help me, or I wasn't comfortable talking to anyone about them.
"3. How I committed my life to Jesus" - I stepped out in FAITH that what I was being taught by my family & my church about Jesus was TRUE. I prayed a very long & personal prayer to him & ASKED him to walk my walk with me. Help me to feel his presence when I was afraid, confused, aggravated, mad, etc. & to HELP me.
"4. The difference Jesus has made in my life" - ALL the difference. I would NEVER be as successful as I am, in the different areas of my life, if it wasn't for Him. I was LOST & felt no other option, but to TRUST that he could lead me in the right direction.

The book also asks you to make a list of your LIFE LESSONS, by answering several questions. So, here goes....

"What has God taught me from failure?" - God has taught me that there is another side to a failure. WHATEVER you are going through....you will get through it & be ALIVE. Then YOU will have a CHOICE....a choice to move forward from it & learn from it & apply it in your life OR let it define you & make you stagnant. I gave the best advice I think I've ever given someone, the other day: "If you KNOW what you are supposed to do, then you have two choices: 1) Do it...even if it is hard...you'll live through it OR 2) Give in."

"What has God taught me from a lack of money?" - I smile as I type this...because...BOY, has he taught me some things.... He's taught me that he will provide just what we need &, if we slow down to look at everything around us...we will figure it out on our own. He's also taught me how to HONOR our hard work & be less frivolous with our money. Probably the biggest thing he's taught me is that...it's really all God's money. I mean...you CAN'T serve God & money. So how do we take this massive value off MONEY & what we do with it & how much we lose & how we compare each other based on how much each other has?? Realize that it is ALL God's money. It's kinda like playing monopoly & we spend our money, based on the circumstances at hand, we use what we are given to do the best we can.... In real life...not Monopoly life we aren't all give the same amount, but we are given enough...for whatever our mission is. Our MAIN focus is supposed to be SHARING THE GOOD NEWS...using the GIFTS, TALENTS, & SKILLS God has given us. So...if you use your money to do things that are God's work...you'll ALWAYS be taken care of.  

"What has God taught me from pain or sorrow or depression?" That Jesus has walked through EVERYTHING we have walked through or may walk through & has given us stories in the Bible to show us. If we can't identify ourselves with Jesus's walk there are numerous saints, disciples, & people of the Bible that we can. Not only that...but, lately, I've learned how foolish I am for thinking that I am ALONE and that no one else has ever experienced the kinds of feelings I am, at ANY given time. We HAVE to share our stories with others, because you never know when you are helping a COMPLETE STRANGER.

"What has God taught me through waiting?" He's taught me patience....& is still teaching me :). He's taught me to PAUSE & LOOK AROUND. He's taught me to slow my hurry & look for what he's trying to show me. He's taught me that its all about His plan & not mine.

"What has God taught me through illness?" - I have to go back to when we realized that my Dad had went into a diabetic coma, later to find out that he needed a liver transplant, how much it was going to cost, the potential prognosis, & everything that happened after that. Through that ENTIRE experience I learned the IMMENSE importance of our web of relationships and connections. I realized how DEPENDENT we were on the open hearts of other people. I experienced REAL personal criticism, from people we had thought were our friends. I experienced GRACE when I was able to talk to those people in a humble & honest way & move past it. He used that experience to pull my family closer together & allow each member of my family to see areas of WORTH...we hadn't paid attention to before. He taught me that people's hearts are GOOD...when COMPLETE STRANGERS started showing up with auction items & bidding on things at auction. Most of all...maybe...he taught me that, when people work together for the good of one...the illness can be overcome. The goal can be reached. The effort is not for naught. That it matters. That we all matter & that he works through EVERY situation...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Thought I'd share a couple souvenirs from our efforts:
Pretty rad koozie to keep our beverages of choice cool.

My Belt Buckle for winning the Jackpot class: Good for holdin' my pants up, while I'm flyin' by the seat of my pants. 

Seein' my Daddy covered up with his grand babies (with his one & only right by his side) EIGHT years later....PRICELESS.

"What has God taught me from disappointment?" - He's taught me to look for the lesson. Look for the opening. Look for the purpose. He's taught me (over time) that He has a better plan. He's taught me that I am worthy. He's taught me that you get through it & that there is MORE on the other side of the disappointment. He's taught me how to focus on me & not necessarily my expectations of others. He's taught me to KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

"What have I learned from my family, my church, my relationships, my small group, and my critics?" - Boy...that's a loaded question. I've learned from my family many things to do & not to do. I've learned about LOVE & loyalty. I've learned about disappointment & moving forward. I've learned to NEVER give up....& (over time) the right times to give in to certain things. I've learned about pride, jealousy, hard-work, some of my talents, communication skills of people of all ages, & SO MUCH MORE. I've learned to appreciate BOTH the negatives & the positives & I've learned how to accept people that think so differently from one another. From my church: I've learned A LOT about The Holy Trinity. I've learned about Mother Mary, the disciples, the saints... I've learned about the importance of baptism, confirmation, communion, marriage & other sacraments. I've learned prayers & stories & songs that all remind me that I am NEVER alone. From my relationships: What I'm good at & not good at. Areas where I need to grow & areas where I need to help others grow. I've developed more of a servant's heart. I've learned the importance of communication & showing affection & spending time together & acknowledging whatever the other is thinking, whether you agree or not. I've learned & taught about RESPECT. I've learned that, when you work as a team, the results are way BETTER, than goin' it alone or without the help and advice of the other. What have I learned from my small groups: (I've been a part of all kinds) I've learned communication is KEY & communication that is open & objective....TOTALLY. I've learned of the importance of getting groups of people together that have different talents & strengths, but are still able to communicate openly & effectively. I've learned when the leadership is weak the group crumbles & when it is strong it flourishes. I've learned the different ways & reasons people make the decisions they make. I've learned that people put importance on things different from me & I've been able to see things from other viewpoints. I've seen the importance of having a PURPOSE to everything you do & if you don't...you may as well not do it. I've learned that if I don't know...I NEED to ask & that there is ALWAYS someone that will have the answer. I've learned to work with people I trust & I've learned how to decrease the static. I've learned when to say no, yes, & maybe. From my critics.....I've learned to look at the criticisms from my critics as windows for areas of growth (THAT TOOK ME A WHILE & I STILL HAVE TO WORK ON IT). I've realized that I don't have to have answers for them right away. I've learned that I don't work to make THEM happy. I've realized A LOT about EGOS (mine, theirs, others). I've learned that when people criticize you....they are usually bringing light to some flaw they see in themselves. I've learned that people that criticize you have a real hard time doing it to your face...which is another weakness of theirs. I've learned that to criticize...instead of encourage is their choice & the ONLY way to combat the negativity is to ENCOURAGE the individual(s) to be open & honest & direct to whomever they are criticizing. I've learned the POWER of critics & the instant ability they hold in STEALING JOY from others. You can have 1000 people toot your horn & sing your praises, but as soon as you have that ONE person that hits you in an area (that you already feel weakness in) they can bring you to your knees. For ME: the best way to combat that power is to SURROUND yourself with GOD'S PEOPLE that can help you, encourage you, & give you the ability to learn from their experiences....& to do LOTS of PRAYING....and work on yourself to flush out those areas of weakness...so NOTHING can prey on them.

Here's a few more important quotes from this chapter:

Talking about your life message: "Whatever it is, you will feel compelled to speak up about it and do what you can to make a difference."

"God uses passionate people to further his kingdom."

"You should not expect everyone else to be passionate about your passion."

If you aren't CERTAIN what "The Good News" is: "'The Good News shows how God makes people right with himself - that it begins and ends with faith.' 'For God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. This is the wonderful message he has given us to tell others.'"

"Most important, you must learn to love lost people the way God does."

"We must care about unbelievers because God does."

"If you've been afraid to share the Good News with those around you, ask God to fill your heart with his love for them."

"The eternal salvation of a single soul is more important than anything else you will ever achieve in life."

Here's the DAILY stuff:

"Point to Ponder: God wants to say something to the world through me."

Daily Bible Verse: "Be ready at all times to answer anyone who asks you to explain the hope you have in you, but do it with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15B (TEV)

Daily Question: "As I reflect on my personal story, who does God want me to share it with?

From My Journal: I think God wants me to share it to anyone who will listen. That is why I feel compelled to have a radio show, keep blogging & sharing my story, video blog, say a prayer or say a message at my auctions. I struggle with the struggle of me looking like I (just) want the attention and God calling me and conditioning me for it. Believe me...I know because I'd love to be in comfy clothes & no make-up everyday, but that will not spread this word. (I wrote this entry after just coming off a criticism...maybe a perceived criticism. I KNOW that I feel like I am being CALLED to share my experiences with others, because there have been numerous times that I wouldn't have minded the easier road. However, someone else gave their two-cents worth to someone about me enjoying the spotlight. I'm not drudging around unhappy about it, but if I didn't feel CALLED to do it, I'd go get my spotlight elsewhere.)

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Kick the critics.....I mean...not literally. Just find you some ENCOURAGERS to surround yourself with & SHARE your story. Jesus left it ALL on the cross, the least we can do is SHARE our message.

God Bless!

Day 32: "Using What God Gave You"

We continue on to Day 32 of the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren. This chapter talks all about our SHAPE & how to understand it & USE it.

Here is the first thing that jumped right off the page at me: "It was only after I began accepting opportunities to speak that I saw the result, received confirmation from others, and realized, 'God has gifted me to do this!'" Pastor Warren was talking about his ability to teach. We've talked about each of us having LOTS of gifts. We've also talked about how sometimes we didn't know we had them. I can tell you...after some of my life experiences...that I wonder what I've still got bottled up inside me.

I took a job in sales...didn't even know there was such a thing like it, until I applied for it. Really...had NO CLUE on how to sell what I'd be selling. They taught me how. I listened & placed in our annual sales competition EVERY year, but not only that...I realized (& so did my bosses) that I had a knack for connecting will people...all kinds of people...& not just to make friends, but to build campaigns & work with people in a business setting. That's my first example of a spiritual gift I discovered.

Here's another...had the IDEA come to me about being an auctioneer. I NEVER called an auction before. Never really had any interest to try. I called my Dad, who called my Uncle who TOLD me I was going to go with him to a Church Feast in Plum, Texas & help him....in TWO weeks. I didn't have a chant. I hadn't practiced. Heck...I was still working through the thoughts of if I REALLY wanted to do it & what some people might think about it. I hadn't even told my husband. I could have NOT gone. Uncle Mele still would have loved me :)....BUT...I WENT. For two weeks, I watched You Tube videos, chose my filler words, practiced with my family, counted fence posts as I went down the road & SCARED OUT OF MY MIND.....WENT. Uncle Mele told me to spot first, so I could see where the main bidders were. I did. Then I got up there & sold. Not only did people compliment me, but asked me where I learned how to do it...when I told them You Tube videos & practice they about fell over. Then I did another & people URGED me on with MORE compliments & not only compliments, BUT advice to pursue it. I went to another & thought...okay these people don't HAVE to be nice to me & decided to get my license & here I am PURSUING it. That is example 2.

I was working a full-time job when I started this whole auctioneer journey. I mean I was busy, but I had just unlocked a door to a whole world full of new thoughts & emotions that I had NEVER had. I had a friend that had a Blog called: Pistols & Cupcakes & she wrote a blog about us winning a Halloween Contest with our Ninja Turtle Costumes. HONESTLY...before that I had NEVER read a blog. I didn't really understand the point of them...until I read hers. I can tell you...It was the PERFECT place for me to UNLOAD all of my thoughts about my journey...ALL of them....so I started the blog: Buck Up Baby! & started SHARING my journey. Initially I used it to UNLOAD thoughts...then I started giving props to the organizations & bidders that were at the auctions I did, now I use it to do those things, but also as a marketing tool OR a way to clarify certain things about the events that we are a part of. Anyways....once I started giving props to the events, individuals, & organizations...I started SHARING it on Facebook, on my page & the page of anyone involved. The truth of the matter is though...that I thought a FEW people might read them, but I didn't expect to get the POSITIVE reaction I got....really & I sure didn't expect to get compliments on the WAY I wrote them. I mean I just type it how I think it...& that is usually not grammatically correct...or politically correct. Here I present...Example #3.

I can also tell you that another SPIRITUAL GIFT that God has GIVEN to me is COURAGE & the ABILITY to (sometimes blindly) look past the drawbacks, judgements, perceived thoughts & march onward. It has to be God-given, b/c sometimes I think I'm flat cRaZY for trying to tackle some of the things I do, but I've already gotten myself half-way into it, so there's NO TURNING BACK.

Here's another important...lesson, from this chapter: "Part of accepting your shape is recognizing your limitations. Nobody is good at everything, and no one is called to be everything." WOW...what a lesson I have learned, & I wish I would have learned it sooner. I still strugGLE with it, but I have LEARNED that when I start feeling overwhelmed, stressed, cRAzY, bumfuzzled, twisted up, anxious, out-of-control...there is SOMEONE around me that can HELP me. We are SUPPOSED to work together. Just because you know you are ABLE doesn't mean YOU have to do it. Someone else is able too....& may just have the ability to do a better job at it.

I'm in the middle of a project now where I KNOW...to give the GLORY to GOD...I NEED people to HELP me. I need people to BRING their talents & their SHAPE to the table. This is another one of those things that wouldn't even be a thing....if I wouldn't have decided (with friends urging me) to "CREATE WITH ABANDON" as my journal cover says. That means (my meaning): BELIEVE IT. ENVISION IT. ACT ON IT. Then figure out how to MAKE IT what you ENVISION once you got the ball rolling.

Here is the last thing I'll share from this chapter before I get to the daily info. "Satan will try to steal the joy of service from you in a couple of ways: by tempting you to compare your ministry with others, and by tempting you to conform your ministry to the expectations of others." BELIEVE THIS: Just like God uses us to HELP each other...Satan uses us to HURT each other...all day, everyday, & as often as possible. No one is off limits. Also KNOW...that when you are doing God's work...Satan will ATTACK you every. chance. he. gets. I truly believe that GOD is strengthening my MIND right now to handle his attacks. Pastor Warren shares this in the book: "You will find that people who do not understand your shape for ministry will criticize you and try to get you to conform to what they think you should be doing. Ignore them. Paul often had to deal with critics who misunderstood and maligned his service. His response was always the same: Avoid comparisons, resist exaggerations, and seek only God's commendation. One of the reasons Paul was used so greatly by God was that he refused to be distracted by criticism or by comparing his ministry with others or by being drawn into fruitless debates about his ministry."

"Point to Ponder: God deserves my best."

Daily Bible Verse: "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

Daily Question: "How can I make the best use of what God has given me?"

From my journal the first time of reading: The truth is - it seems like it is slowly being revealed to me...in pieces. I know auctions and sharing my journey is part of it...and maybe that's it, but I believe there will be more, once I handle this part.

Believe me when I say...there's MORE. There will always be MORE...& God won't wait until you "handle" one part... It's all on His watch.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! This chapter talks about a "Life Review Retreat." I'm down for that if anyone knows anything about one. Also...this chapter ENCOURAGES us to talk to our people about our SHAPE...to see what others see in us. Do that...I know it's not easy, but probably worth it.

Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037

Day 30: "Shaped for Serving God"

I just LOVE this chapter! LOVE IT!! Welcome to ALL the readers & thanks for following along as we go through the daily chapters of The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

Today we continue to LEARN more about our own PERSONAL ministry. Today BEGINS the discussion of helping us understand our SHAPE.

I remember as a college student I encountered all kinds of students that had all kinds of different beliefs OR were REALLY confused about their beliefs & I remember being questioned by a classmate of mine...one where I really enjoyed his company & the discussion he brought to our class. See...I used to ALWAYS wear a necklace with a cross on it, not the same one...I had one in EVERY color, BUT he asked me, as we were walking from class..."You don't really believe in that, do you?" He pointed & I asked what he was talking about. He said..."Your cross...I just don't want you to be disappointed one day." I said: "You don't believe in it?!" I was TOTALLY shocked. I had a phone call coming in & I walked to my class & he walked to his. Our next class was quite awkward to say the least. I didn't even know how to talk to him after that. I'd be lying if I didn't confess that he got me to thinkin' about things. I never questioned IF God was real or not, but put myself on a journey to try and really wrap my head around some of the tough things. What I concluded & where I am now is the thinking that: God would not have created us how he created us, if there wasn't some PURPOSE behind it. All these emotions & thoughts & relationships & knowledge & skills & talents & EMOTIONS (I know I said it twice!) just can not be for nothing. Why? How could anyone not acknowledge that part of us? I mean if our jobs, our money, our luxuries were stripped away from us...wouldn't we still have WORTH? Wouldn't we still have EMOTIONS? Wouldn't there still be a PURPOSE for them? That is why I believe that when our physical body dies...it turns to dust, but our DEEP innards...you know our SOULS...don't just disappear. I can't understand it all...only our Maker can & I TRUST & have FAITH that he made us for a purpose, because he sure didn't HAVE to.

Another thing this book has taught me, or made me think about is how God PREPARES for the Plan Bs & Cs & Ds & even Es & Fs & Gs in our life. He has our life mapped out. He KNOWS what our purpose is & he knows how to get us to see it (this chapter teaches you that). He also KNOWS that the devil is going to try and detour us EVERY chance he gets. That's what leads to the Plan Bs & Cs, etc. I think about when I REALLY make a plan for something...I mean REALLY put everything into it & do the research (no shortcuts) & KNOW what things could POSSIBLY come at me. There is no way of me knowing if they will, but it is the BEST way I can PREPARE myself to be prepared to COMBAT it. When you study like this...you LEARN your competition (just an example) or your drawback. Many times you become SO educated about it...you could teach a class on it. That is how God is with the devil...at least that is what I believe. First of all he created his being...he knows how he operates. Secondly, he has been dealin' with him for SO LONG that he knows the kind of tricks & kniving schemes he will try and put into play. He knows what member of his army, he'll send after you. God has a counter for EVERY trick the devil can throw at us. Earlier in the book we learned that there are some situations where the SPECIFIC job you're in is not the IMPORTANT part in God's overall plan. For example....You could have offers from 3 different companies, but all 3 of those companies will allow God to develop the skills he wants to develop in you. The specific job you choose is kind of irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. God knows several ways to keep you on your journey to learning & SHARING your purpose.

We are going to start to learn about our SHAPE!! This was REALLY eye-opening to me.

S-Spiritual Gifts
H-Heart
A-Abilities
P-Personality
E-Experience

Today we will learn about our Spiritual Gifts & our Heart, but first I just want to share something. It USED to be REALLY hard for me to understand people who didn't think like I did...and honestly I just couldn't figure out a way to understand their way of thinking. I used to think they were just WRONG and that was it. As I got older...I realized that EVERY person has REASONS for thinking they way they think, or emotions that hang them up on things, or DIffErent experiences that cause them to see things in a different light. This chapter really drives home how we are ALL created COMPLETELY UNIQUELY. Every one of us has a different mixture of the "SHAPE" recipe that makes us uniqUe.

SPIRITUAL GIFTS: "These are special God-empowered abilities for serving him that are given only to believers." How SPECIAL is that?! This chapter goes on to tell us how all of our gifts our different & how our gifts actually help others, just like the gifts of others are meant to help us. God keeps us NEEDING each other! This is a REALLY important part from this chapter: "Two common problems are 'gift-envy' & 'gift-projection.' The first occurs when we compare our gifts with others', feel dissatisfied with what God gave us, and become resentful or jealous of how God uses others. The second problem happens when we expect everyone else to have our gifts, do what we are called to do, and feel as passionate about it as we do." My experience of not understanding others is shown in the second problem. We ALL experience things, but the more AWARE of the problems you become...the quicker you can PUMP THE BRAKES on them.

HEART: "The Bible uses the term heart to describe the bundle of desire, hopes, interests, ambitions, dreams, and affections you have. Your heart represents the source of all your motivations - what you love to do and what you care about most." What Pastor Warren goes on to discuss in this section is SO good. It makes me think of this internal struGgLe I've been having with myself about what direction I should go with my auction business. Let me tell you...there are ALL kinds of auctions...ALL KINDS & sometimes it is hard to know what direction you are meant to go/supposed to go/which one is an opportunity/which way is a diversion.... I've been guided to & from several different ones including: general consignment auctions, benefit/fundraising auctions, & estate auctions. I've learned a lot in the last couple months & have gotten some of the BEST ADVICE from some of the BEST in the industry, that has provided some clarity to me. Here is what I have learned, b/c (BEFORE the convention) I have gone in the WRONG direction (for me) based on the advice of others....others that I fully respect. Just because someone can see ALL the reasons that a certain business direction will work GREAT for you...does not mean that YOU can see how that business direction will work for you. YOU have to know & you have to WANT to do it. I had been guided away from the direction I want to go...because others in my field didn't necessarily see things how I saw it & THEY had experienced certain difficulties that made them want to deter me from that road. There are some areas of this industry that I truly don't know if I'd like or not. There's only one way to figure that out...go & do it. Just because I learn about an area I'm NOT familiar with, DOES NOT mean that I can't grow MY business in the direction that I KNOW I CAN. You can be an ASSET to your company...at the same time you are an ASSET to another. It all depends on your HEART...Do you have a DESIRE? Do you HOPE to grow from the experience? Are you INTERSTed in it? Do you have the AMBITION to go after it? Do you DREAM to be well-rounded in your trade?

I'm gonna share 4 more quotes from the book that really say it all for me:

"Your emotional heartbeat is the second key to understanding your shape for service. DON'T IGNORE YOUR INTERESTS."

"How do you know when you are serving God from your heart? The first telltale sign is enthusiasm."

**Side note on this one. That year when I did VERY few auctions & I called the Ledbetter Fireman's Auction in October...I got in the car with my Uncle & his girlfriend & said: "This is what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing! I just NEED to figure it out. I'm not sure HOW I'm gonna make a living at it, but this is what I'm supposed to be doing."

"When you don't have a heart for what you're doing, you are easily discouraged."

**A PERFECT example of this for me is the JOY I get when doing a benefit auction vs. a consignment auction.

"Whenever you do what God wired you to love to do, you get good at it. Passion drives perfection."

"Point to Ponder: I was shaped for serving God."

Daily Bible Verse: "God works through different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all." 1 Corinthians 12:6 (PH)

Daily Question: "In what way can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it?"

From my journal the first time of reading: Auctions, fundraising, raising money for people and causes, event planning and coordination, spreading God's word to the masses, playing with children and teaching them.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! If you haven't yet...GO GET THIS BOOK!!

God Bless!
Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037

Day 29: "Accepting Your Assignment"

Hey all! I tell you what! It's gettin' harder & harder for me to stay up & get these posts out! I'm gonna try and double up for ya today! Today we move onto our 4th PURPOSE: "You were shaped for serving God."

Today talks about "Accepting Your Assignment." This is Day 29 in Rick Warren's book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?

There are 3 parts of this chapter that I want to discuss, because I have had specific conversations about them OR I just think they are important.

Here is the first: "Another term for serving God that's misunderstood by most people is the word MINISTRY. When most people hear "ministry," they think of pastors, priests, and professional clergy, but God says every member of his family is a minister."

I had a conversation with a VERY dear friend. We actually met for lunch/brainstorming session & that turned into almost a 3-hour long discussion. One of the things I talked to her about was starting a ministry...& calling it "Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus." After our discussion (& lots of thought) I think I will call it a MISSION, but it will accomplish the same thing. Some of the things brought up were: "Is it necessary to use "Jesus" in the name of the ministry & would I be up there PREACHING to people?" We can speak VERY plainly to each other & know that the other has each other's best interests in mind when asking the questions we ask. After the first question...my head initially went to...."If I take his name OUT of it....that will be like taking his name out of the Pledge of Allegiance & out of schools & out of whatever they can get it out of." She stopped me and reminded me that Jesus was humble & doesn't need his name everywhere....& he doesn't. I know she was coming to me from a place of concern & she doesn't want ANYTHING to curtail my business....but he is ALL UP IN my business & I WANT to .

Then she asked: "What would this ministry do?" I told her my ROUGH vision: Have the ability to provide scholarships & grants to students & new business owners because I know how you can feel limited as both, if you don't have the money it takes to do something that you really think needs to be done. I'd like to also be able to provide religious education grants for children and adults. Then I told her how I'd like to take my employees & volunteers on specific missions to help spread our mission. Not only that, but the group of people that work with me have experiences that (if shared) can REALLY help others & I'm not opposed to speaking engagements...alone or as a team. So...to answer the question about if we would be preaching to people....not really. We'd be sharing our experiences with people...and doing for people.

I kind of delved into WHY it concerned her as much as it did & she shared some of her experiences, which were quite eye-opening. She is a BELIEVER...by all means, but LIKE MANY OF US (myself included...once upon a time)...is RESERVED about sharing her experiences or her FAITH because we don't want to offend anyone or rub anyone the wrong way. I agree that...depending on what you want to accomplish...some conversations have to be approached with finesse. She also told me about her childhood growing up & how many parents & adults kind of shoved religion down your throat & TOLD you what you had to be & what was GOOD & BAD...ACCEPTABLE & UNACCEPTABLE...ultimately leaving the impression that you had to be, act, dress, look a certain way to be acceptable to GOD. One example she told me was when she was a little girl one of her neighbors (parents of her little neighbor friend) gave her a Bible & then told her to take it home & tell her Daddy that he OWED them $2 or something for it.

All I want to do is SHARE MY GOOD NEWS WITH OTHERS. SHARE what I have learned & what I BELIEVE & give examples & tell stories & GIVE GOD THE GLORY. I'm not sure WHAT that will look like exactly... I just feel like I'm supposed to do it. I also know that I don't want to SHOVE IT DOWN PEOPLE'S THROATS. It won't mean a thing to them. I want to SHARE with who wants me to share it with them or who THINKS they want to know what I am talking about or who WANTS to be a part of whatever I'm doing. I don't want to FORCE anything. I realize that some people may put a wall up...just by the words I choose to use...but some won't & if something GOOD is coming from it the GOODNESS will spread & continue to spread...even if there are only a handful that want anything to do with it at first.

Here is the second thing I want to share that kind of reiterates what I discussed above. "The Bible says, 'He saved us and called us to be his own people, not because of what we have done, but because of his own purpose.' Peter adds, 'You were chosen to tell about the excellent qualities of God, who called you.' Anytime you use your God-given abilities to help others, you are fulfilling your calling." After typing & re-reading this...something else struck me. In this business I have started I have found that A LOT of people don't UNDERSTAND where I am going with this, what the purpose is, WHY I'm doing it & just don't go out and get a job. HONESTLY...sometimes I'm not sure of the EXACT direction I am going or the EXACT purpose behind ALL these lessons I'm learning, but I KNEW before I went at it FULL-time I was supposed to be doing SOMETHING with it. I KNEW I needed to do more. It has been CONFIRMED to me I don't even know how many times now. I still can't say what it will look like 6 months, a year, or 10 years from now & I STILL have people trying to tell me how I'm supposed to live my life when they have NO CLUE...at all...about what has been done, what is in the works, what I have learned, & what God has GIVEN me. Heck...some of them don't even know what God has GIVEN them. YET...I still march on b/c I UNDERSTAND my PURPOSE for doing it. I share this because....We aren't even close to UNDERSTANDING GOD's purpose for our lives...God's purpose for saving us & blessing us with the gifts he gave no other living creature...what is SO special about us that God CHOSE to save us...WHY we have the experiences & feelings that we have... & (EVEN AFTER HE PAID THE ULTIMATE PRICE) we QUESTION Him & get MAD at him & HIDE from Him, Some of us LOSE our belief in Him, we take his name OUT of things...YET he marches on....blessing families with more babies, loving us through our sins...teaching us to know ourselves when we don't understand WHY he doesn't just tell us. You know.... I don't UNDERSTAND his PURPOSE, but I BELIEVE in his PURPOSE & mine is linked with His.

Here is the THIRD thing I want to share from this chapter: "We must act on what we know and practice what we claim to believe. Impression without expression caused depression. Study without service leads to spiritual stagnation." AMEN!!!!! This happened to me when I took another job, when I KNEW I should pursue something with my auction license. This happened to me when I read the chapter about HARD conversations & SAT on it b/c I didn't want to have them. This happened to me when I didn't feel RIGHT to write posts for a blog called "Buck Up Baby!" when I couldn't even get the nerve to BUCK UP & do what I knew I was supposed to be doing. This happens when I see a friend I haven't seen in years that wants to catch up on old pals...which eventually leads to gossiping. Honestly...this still happens to me from post to post. I share this information with ya'll & some days....even though I KNOW what I SHOULD do....I just don't. I've told you before that I die daily...sometimes several times a day & my faith wains, BUT I can say that the more AWARE of things you become...the more you EXPRESS yourself & the less you put yourself in depressing situations.

READ the chapter. There is LOTS more in there. Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! Find your ministry, name it what you want to, & go to sharin' that sucker! Here is the flyer for the BABY stages of my ministry/mission. I am HOPING to give as many $1000 scholarships away as possible to students pursuing a higher level of education, whether that be: a college, university, trade school, licensing school, or religious education school. It will be open to any high-school graduate student, currently enrolled college student, or someone wishing to return to school. The candidates will have to answer 1 of 2 essay questions: 1) Give us an example of an experience where you have had to "BUCK UP" & do something that has pushed you out of your comfort zone & how that made an impact on your life & possibly others OR 2) Tell us about an area/idea/dream that you have, but you have not mustered up the courage yet to "Buck Up." What is holding you back?  

Just realized...I didn't share the daily stuff....

"Point to Ponder: Service is not optional."

Daily Bible Verse: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

Daily Question: "What is holding me back from accepting God's call to serve him?"\

From my journal the first time of reading: In December 2013 I quit my job to pursue my service/talent God has given me. The things that stopped me and still hang me up are: fear, family and friends not understanding, perception, pride, my perceived image, money. I can sit here - happy to say that I can feel the good Lord working in me, blessing others, and melting away some of my previous concerns.

A little more to say now...as some of those concerns melt away...some days others intensify. Daily...I tell you...DAILY you have to work through ALL the processes....of all the things & JUST HOLD FAITH that the PURPOSE you are working towards is worth it.

God Bless Pretties!!
Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037

Day 28: "It Takes Time"

Welcome back readers & WELCOME to new readers! Today we move on to Day 28 in the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

Today's topic is something I still struggle with & probably will for quite some time. Mainly because we are conditioned to be timely & get things done & meet deadlines & time is money & we are only here for a short time & time just flies by.... You hear what I'm sayin'?

Then sometimes I feel like I'm sitting on things....wasting time...because I have learned over the years...that if you feel rushed...you're trying to jam a round peg into a square hole & there is something better out there.

I feel like this chapter was written about me.. The book says: "God is more interested in strength and stability than swiftness." I just talked to a friend yesterday about some things...one being the last consignment auction I had & how I was sitting there, BEFORE the auction even started, a little upset about the turnout, BUT already going into PLAN B mode or Problem-solving mode. I went on & endured the struggle, accepted the struggle, learned from the struggle, but I wanted to get on with it. Move through it FAST, put it behind me, forget about it...kind of forget it even happened. I KNOW it doesn't define me, but it TICKS me off.

But then I think back & realize how much SUPPORT I had from SO many people. How I had NEW SUPPORT I didn't know I had. How we really made SOMETHING happen...even if I didn't really like that something. How I experienced new things....things I'll do again & things I won't. How I discovered new NEEDS I have. How new members joined my team & how well it worked.... I can't FORGET all that.

The OLD me wants to JUMP & GO & DO something....anything. I plan on having a follow-up consignment auction...& with my INTERNAL team I have changed the date of it....probably 4 or 5 times B/C when I take a moment to relax my thoughts I get a clearer picture of the time I need to make it better. It really is like an internal struggle inside myself to CHILL OUT & then as soon as I do...I feel like I'm WASTING time....

Here is something interesting & many of you (like I did the first time) will think that you KNOW what you have not given over to God. :) You don't have a clue. Just like I don't. It took me a minute to realize that. The book says: "You may think you have surrendered all your life to him, but the truth is, there is a lot of your life that you aren't even aware of. You can only give God as much of you as you understand at that moment. That's okay. Once Christ is given a beachhead, he begins the campaign to take over more and more territory until all of your life is completely his." You have to submit to that. You have to allow that. You have to have FAITH in that.

I have a Ribbon Cutting/30th Birthday Bash/Business Kick-Off Auction benefiting the Buck Up Auctions Scholarship Fund coming up NEXT Friday...July 18th (my actual bday) & I am REALLY feeling that strUgGle with time within myself. There are things that need to get done that I know will have to get done & I know MY normal way of getting it done, but I'm just not sure it is the right way. I am also aware of the crowd turnout for the last auction & even though I know THIS IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT ANIMAL I've got that lingering there in the back of my mind. Then this chapter reminds me: "God has promised that 'he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.' Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

Some of you know the why/how/reason I started this auction business (there are really several). Some of you also know that when I started this journey I wondered why I hadn't thought to do it sooner. As I learn & I grow & I look back...I can see ALL the things that I have experienced. I remember how my family called a family meeting when we found out Dad had to have a transplant & we decided that we were going to FIGURE OUT A WAY to raise the money. I remember organizing & helping & gathering items for ALL the benefits we put on & I REMEMBER...when they were all completed & we raised close to $100K & (even though my Uncles & Aunt Jeanette (GOD BLESS THEM) still had to buy Daddy's land to make up the difference of what was needed) we closed that gap & got done what needed to get done. I also remember me sitting by myself a week later & REALIZING EVERYTHING that had happened. All the SUPPORT that showed up from our small communities, the press we got that we really didn't know we were getting, the complete strangers that showed up bringing items to people they didn't even know, Businesses we didn't do much business with donating items, friends coming up with ideas to raise MORE money..........& just thinking that THERE IS NO WAY WE REALLY EVER BE ABLE TO PAY THESE PEOPLE BACK....sitting there thinking this THANK YOU I'm writing to put in the papers just doesn't even begin to SHOW how much we appreciated it & HONESTLY...we didn't even know how to show it. Everything seemed so small when you compared it to what EVERYONE else helped us to ACCOMPLISH.

So.....although some of you have heard me say that I don't know why I hadn't become an auctioneer sooner or that I hadn't really thought about it... GOD was conditioning me in a way (that I totally did not understand) more than 10 years ago. AND...believe me when I say I feel like I'm crawLING right now, BUT I must remember: "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion." Philippians 1:6 (NIV).

I used to sit and think about why people give when they KNOW it will never be returned in the same way. Over the years I've learned that there are always people in our lives that we will NEVER be able to pay back...the same way. Sometimes it is because they believe in the cause OR in the people OR in the idea OR in the organization. Sometimes it is because they feel COMPELLED to do it for any plethora of their own reasons. Sometimes they rest assured that the seeds they are planting in others will GROW and prosper in a way they couldn't do on their own.

 Well...when I sat down to type I totally did not expect it to take me back to that part of my life. AMAZING how things work out ;). I am BLESSED & you are ALL blessings to me. You know it really is all about God's time & maybe we should all do our best to be blessings to others while we wait for his direction.

"Point to Ponder: There are no shortcuts to maturity."

Daily Bible Verse: "God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again." Philippians 1:6 (NCV)

Daily Question: "In what area of my spiritual growth do I need to be more patient & persistent?"

From my journal the first time of reading: I need to trust and seek God's timing. I had a lesson in this today. I tend to bit off more than I need to chew and today's chapter and conversation with my auctioneer friend - guided me to what needed to happen. (Zapp Hall/Chelsea's Meadow Auction).

Let me give you the condensed version of what the Zapp Hall & Chelsea's Meadow Auctions mean. As a company we had this guerrilla marketing idea to raise awareness for ourselves by going tent to tent auctioning off an item & the winning bidder could choose from a selection of charities that would receive the money. Me & another gal are literally WINGING-IT. Just goin' out & talkin' to people, getting the OK from landowners, etc. Long story short....(BELIEVE ME...you'll hear more about these two auctions) we got in a situation where we were pretty much going to have TWO fundraising auctions in the same day with LESS than a week to advertise the both of them. One wanted to do a consignment auction where the buyer's premium went to the cause. Well...an auctioneer is the only person that can solicit/discuss/initiate consignment agreements. Considering I had another auction committed to that day it was literally IMPOSSIBLE to pull off. So...I was bummed because the way BOTH of these two auctions came about was GOD AT WORK & so I was brainstorming...thinking.....trying to figure out a way to pull them both off...the easiest way possible & not DISAPPOINT both parties. Well....after a talk with my Auction Teacher & my crew & getting to a point where I KNEW I'd either lose one auction or they'd agree to do it the ONLY way we could pull it off. I made the phone call. They agreed to do it the way I suggested & we raised right around $6000 at EACH auction. Considering we had a week's time or less to pull this off I'd say it was a HUGE success. God will ALWAYS provide a way....ALWAYS... Sometimes we have to slow down our racing thoughts & fear of the perception of others or fear of not measuring up & just do what you can do, the best way you can do it. Will we do it the same way again. Some things...& some things we will tweak, but we wouldn't know unless we tried.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! His timing is RIGHT ON....TRUST that!

God Bless!

Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037

Day 22: "Created To Become Like Christ"

Welcome back readers!! Yes...I took a week long hiatus from my blog posts. Not because I didn't want to do them, but I had a general consignment auction this past weekend & it literally consumes my time. Yes...I could have taken SOME time to write these posts, but not much & you wouldn't get the quality post you'll get since my time has freed up...not to mention the new experiences to share. Sharing this with all of you is very important to me. I want to shine the light to whoever will read this book (The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren) on how IMPORTANT finding our PURPOSE is & then living it. It's a journey...not automatic & I feel DRIVEN to share that with you.

Today marks the beginning of the THIRD purpose of our lives....To Become MORE like CHRIST.

Like I mentioned, this has been a BusY week. I worked at the sale barn on Monday. Then, on Tuesday, we started setting up tables for the auction & breaking down chairs & lining up chairs & moving benches, then Wednesday was FULL of sorting through items at 2 estates, boxing them up, and bringing them to the auction site...along with furniture & cement blocks & not getting home until after 3AM. Thursday held MORE of that & tagging & lotting all the items & displaying them and what not. Friday was preview day where there was more lotting & organizing & having consignments come in & Saturday was auction day.

Let me just say that this has been an educational week in the world of this Entrepreneur. I found myself SEARCHING for the PURPOSE of ALL. THAT. WORK. Here is what I can tell you.... I have had 3 of my own general consignment auctions now....since I got my auctioneer's license. Of the 3...my ANXIETY level was the lowest it has EVER been....and it seemed StraNge to me. Not unwelcome, but stranGe. I also SAW....how BLESSED & LOVED I am. I am BEYOND blessed & I am in AWE of it....& not very understanding of it. I was in VERY good company this week & had more fun with both of my siblings (at the same time) than we've had in a long time. I felt their SUPPORT & it is a blessing. I had some of the BEST friends that a girl could ask for come out & BE THERE & WORK HARD....without question... & when things didn't go maybe EXACTLY how I'd a liked them to go....they were there to SUPPORT & ENCOURAGE me. I could see SO MUCH BEAUTY in  ALL THAT MESS.... I SAW so much positive growth in MULTIPLE areas.

God's plan is SO beautiful & SO HARD...all at the same time. I can recognize God's PROTECTION for me & his REVEALING to me. It's like glimpses... I still find myself trying to CONTROL certain aspects of my life & I RECOGNIZE more every day of how I need to let go & LET GOD. As I was reading through this chapter again this line popped out at me: "Move ahead in your weakness, doing the right thing in spite of your fears and feelings. This is how you cooperate with the Holy Spirit, and it is how your character develops." Man....have I learned how to do this & LET ME TELL YA....It isn't much fun DURING the process....but you will be left in AWE. I can also say that a lot of times I'm not sure AT ALL that I'm doing the "right" thing, but I'm trying to do the right thing.... Yeah....sometimes "The right thing" can get your wheels a spinnin' & a lot of times...YOU JUST DON'T KNOW & you can do all the prayin' you want to & God's probably not gonna drop the answer in your lap in a perfectly wrapped box with a pretty ribbon around it.

This chapter says: "God gives us our time on earth to build and strengthen our character for heaven." It also says: "You are a work in progress. Your spiritual transformation to developing the character of Jesus will take the rest of your life, and even then it won't be completed here on earth." Yep...I'm tellin' ya...just when you think you MIGHT have somethin' figured out...there's a whole 'nother layer that you didn't even know about. We HAVE to EXPERIENCE the tough times to TRULY appreciate the GOOD times & in those TOUGH times we HAVE to TRUST that whatever we are going through, dealing with, faced with...it is developing our character & we have to choose how to react to it. There is a line from a quote that I saw on Facebook & I have no idea who wrote it, but it says: "My name has been dragged through the mud more than once & every time I pick it up & wash it off!" My name...my pride...my work...& YES...I wash all that CRAP off & get back with it! Figure it out! That is the OTHER thing I've learned this week. I have always known that I DON'T QUIT. I may re-position or adjust, but I don't quit & I was sitting outside the auction (BEFORE the auction started) already thinking about PLAN B. Was I bummed about the turnout...yes. BUT for once I DIDN'T BEAT MYSELF UP. At the time I did what I thought needed to be done & what I had the ability to do. Now I have to do the same thing with the knowledge & experience I GAINED from this auction.

So here is my SPIRITUAL take on this week....I felt a CONSTANT calmness because my FAITH & TRUST in God has gotten stronger. I know that ALL will be okay & I could see with my eyes how ABUNDANTLY blessed I am. When you pump the brakes on all that WORRY you can sure see a lot of things clearer. I can see the ties that bind my family, friends, & staff are strengthening... Those are all the things that REALLY matter. The rest will fall in place.

"Point to Ponder: I was created to become like Christ."

Daily Bible Verse: "As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more." 2 Corinthians 3:18B (NLT)

Daily Question: "In what area of my life do I need to ask for the Spirit's power to be like Christ today?

From my journal the first day of reading: Developing good habits... good Godly habits. That is the area in my life that I need to ask The Holy Spirit to help me with. I am feeling like my lack of habitually doing things (not necessarily having bad habits (although I do)) is an underlying source of stress and chaos.

My take on things now....I was a little hard on myself that day. I need to be ALL I can be in any given day, without taking into consideration what EVERYONE else thinks I need to be. Maybe I'm not made (and this is highly likely) to habitually do things. I'm working now to do the best I can, with what I can & realizing that worry, jealousy, anxiety, are all roadblocks to finding my divine purpose.

A priest asked me one time: "Do you see God when you look in the mirror?" My answer then was "No, not really, but I feel a strong resemblance to Jesus." Well DUH!! Jesus is our living GOD, so the answer is YES. He moved passed that one probably thinking she'll get that when she reflects back on it.

I can tell you what I REALLY need The Holy Spirit to help me with.... Stripping myself of the expectations I put on myself, which are based on what, the society that I look towards, deems as acceptable & good & what I have also adopted. It's probably the MAIN way I still try & CONTROL things that are not mine to control.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! When you stay in GOOD COMPANY you pick up their habits! God Bless!