Day 19: "Cultivating Community"

Welcome Readers!!! We continue onto Day 19 of The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

This chapter is wearing me out. It is a GREAT chapter, but it really makes you do the work & THINK about the work that needs to be done. I think this part of the chapter can, pretty much, sum the whole thing up: "..."I urge you to make a group covenant that include the nine characteristics of biblical fellowship: We will share our true feelings (authenticity), encourage each other (mutuality), support each other (sympathy), forgive each other (mercy), speak the truth in love (honesty), admit our weaknesses (humility), respect our differences (courtesy), not gossip (confidentiality), and make group a priority (frequency)." - Pastor Warren

I started writing this blog yesterday & I started having a little bit of a negative spin on it, HONEST, but negative. I think the main reason why is because to DO & BE all the things Pastor Warren talks about is HARD...and what parts are HARD, vary depending on the person you are dealing with, the group of people you are dealing with, and what emotions you have regarding each other.

Here is my REFRESHED & POSITIVE spin on this. Sometimes I do the majority of what is listed above & just have trouble with a couple of the others. Sometimes...(especially if I have a large amount of RESPECT for the other person) I don't have any problem doing any of it. Just like I can sit & look at that list & see what I need to work on....WE ALL HAVE THINGS TO WORK ON. We have to TAKE THE TIME to work on them. We can't sit around beating ourselves up about how much we are not living up to what we are supposed to be. We have to OWN the fact that we RESPECT ourselves enough for HONESTLY trying. REMEMBER...when your head space is gettin' all jammed up about what YOU want & what YOU think YOU should be or how YOU should act...GOD LOVES YOU & sees what you're doing. Take your own judgments off of yourself & work on what needs to be worked on & HAVE FUN DOING IT. He wants us to have fun. He wants us to HELP each other. He wants us to TRUST ourselves as much as He trusts us, with our blessings.

"Point to Ponder: Community requires commitment."

Daily Bible Verse: "We understand what love is when we realize that Christ gave his life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers." 1 John 3:16 (GWT)

Daily Question: "How can I help cultivate today the characteristics of real community in my small group and my church?

From My Journal: I think the hardest struggle is complete and utter honesty. We fear we will hurt the other person OR we are too afraid of the other's judgments. Probably...the best way for me to help cultivate it, is to be TOTALLY honest and bring up examples in my life - that are uncomfortable to share.

After reading the book completely through, applying what I have (thus far) to my life, & circling back to this chapter I still think HONESTY is the key. We need to be honest with others & with ourselves. I also feel like, as individuals, you have to find PEACE in yourself. You have to REALLY start peeling back the layers of the expectations & judgments YOU place on yourself & just be who you are. I don't have that kind of peace yet, but I'm working on it & I see glimpses of it.

This chapter goes into A LOT more than what this blog post contains...each one of the areas I listed above.
When I read it the first time I underlined some things that resonated with me. Here they are: (All credited to The Bible or Pastor Warren)

"You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor." James 3:18 (MSG)

"An honest answer is a sign of true friendship." Proverbs 24:26

"Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself." Ephesians 4:25

"...the tunnel of conflict is the passageway to intimacy in any relationship." Pastor Warren

"Thoughtless words leave lasting wounds." Pastor Warren

"Pride builds walls between people; humility builds bridges." Pastor Warren

"We receive God's grace by humbly admitting that we need it." Pastor Warren

"Don't try to act important, but enjoy the company of ordinary people." Romans 12:16

"Humble people are so focused on serving others, they don't think of themselves." Pastor Warren

"Courtesy is respecting our differences, being considerate of each other's feelings, and being patient with people who irritate us." Pastor Warren

"Excel in showing respect for each other." Romans 12:10

"When you know what they've been through, you will be more understanding. Instead of thinking about how far they still have to go, think about how far they have come in spite of their hurts." Pastor Warren

"God hates gossip.." Pastor Warren

"Gossip is spread by wicked people; they stir up trouble and break up friendships." Proverbs 16:28

Yeah...LOTS more than what I discussed. Spend some time with it. Buck Up Baby & Ride With JESUS!! He LOVES you...even if you think you don't deserve it!! God bless!!

Day 18: "Experiencing Life Together"

WELCOME readers!! Today is Day 18 as we journey through The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

This chapter echoed ALL of my concerns that arose from yesterday's reading & addresses them. I remember myself feeling the same way the first time I read yesterday's chapter. Like I didn't want to DISAGREE with some of his points, but I couldn't help myself. I'm sharing these blogs as openly and honestly as I can, because that is the only way to do it.

This chapter focuses on FELLOWSHIP. It begins by discussing how today's use of the word has taken pretty far out of context to what the Bible says it is. "Real fellowship is so much more than just showing up at services. It is experiencing life together. It includes unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, sympathetic comforting, and all the other 'one another' commands found in the New Testament." This chapter ultimately talks about the importance of small groups. He discusses how even Jesus traveled in a small group of 12 disciples. Pastor Warren urges us to become a member of a small group within our church.

"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." Matthew 18:20 (NASB)

I am blessed to say that I have friends where I DO FELLOWSHIP REGULARLY. Some are members of my church & some are not. I hold these relationships so sacred. I am truly AMAZED by some of them & know that The Holy Spirit was instrumental in joining us together. This is MORE than being a best friend and knowing all the surface things & secrets...this is talking about all the things we don't know about our faith and God. This is praying for other people you don't know, but that are close to your fellowship friend. This is having the courage to say things to the other that you didn't WANT to say to anyone but God. This is asking for HONEST opinions from friends who's answers will be based on FAITH & UNDERSTANDING & FORGIVENESS. These are SACRED. Go get you some FELLOWSHIP.

The next part of this chapter talks about AUTHENTICITY, which was the MAIN thing I was having trouble with in yesterday's reading. "Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in some churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking, and superficial politeness but shallow conversation. People wear masks, keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real fellowship." I'm doing a lot of quoting, but Pastor Warren REALLY explains this perfectly. This is his description of REAL fellowship: "It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help & prayer." I HAVE DONE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS - JUST A FEW DAYS AGO - MULTIPLE TIMES & I'll probably do it again in less than a week's time. I can't do this to everyone...truly...hardly anyone, but I can to a few.

This chapter also discusses CONFESSING, which I want to touch on a minute. A LOT of people get hung up on the Catholic religion because of the focus they put on CONFESSION. Look...I get it. You don't HAVE to (& most probably don't) tell EVERYTHING to a priest, BUT this is a sure act of FELLOWSHIP. Even if you don't share everything. You are taking the time to REALLY talk about things that some people may NEVER talk about to any other human. I'm not sayin' it's gotta be for you. You can participate in FELLOWSHIP other ways. I LOVED the idea of confession before I converted & I love the actual act of it now. I REALLY like it when there are several priests doing confession & I can really take the time I need without feeling rushed b/c someone else is waiting in line. I remember my first face to face confession. It was with a priest that was doing an Easter mission. He had seen very ungodly things & heard very ungodly things. He listened to confessions in a high security prison for sometime. I got my list together of all that I wanted to confess....ALL of it. My heart was beating out of my chest. I guess I thought he'd be a good priest to break the ice with, considering other things he had heard. Let me tell you...I felt relieved walking out, but I also learned a few things...he wasn't easy on me & he hit the nail on the head  in some areas. A sin is a sin. I can also say that all I do now are face to face confessions. Once you start stepping out into the light...you won't want to go back into the darkness.

This chapter also discusses the importance of giving and receiving to one another in fellowship. The importance of sharing our faith with one another in aim to grow each other's even more. Pastor Warren lists out and explains the different levels of fellowship. For the record...let me say...there are SO MANY LEVELS to EVERYTHING. "The simplest levels of fellowship are the fellowship of sharing and the fellowship of studying God's Word together. A deeper level is the fellowship of serving, as when we minister together on mission trips or mercy projects. The deepest, most intense level is the fellowship of suffering, where we enter into each other's pain and grief and carry each other's burdens."

The last section of this chapter really hits home for me. "In real fellowship people experience mercy." MERCY....We all received mercy & we HAVE to give mercy to others & we have to be able to receive it. FORGIVENESS is a big deal here. We have to do it immediately. "Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice." This is SO hard, but sometimes you have to look at what will justice really give you & what will mercy give the other person...and yourself? Are there times when we might need MERCY?

These are the lines that hit home & give me direction. "Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Trust requires a track record. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. They must prove they have changed over time." This is HARD, but it is the ONLY way. Sometimes people may take steps in the right direction, but the amount of hurt they caused is SO DEEP that you can't allow yourself to forget. I've said before that you have to protect yourself & you do. If you allow other people to continually hurt or attack you...you are dealing with situations that aren't God-given. It is taking away time & energy from your purpose.

"Point to Ponder: I need others in my life."

Daily Bible Verse: "Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

Daily Question: "What one step can I take today to connect with another believer at a more genuine, heart-to-heart level?"

From my Journal: I have key people I do this with. Yesterday I talked to my friend for over 1.5 hours about how Awesome God is and what what he is doing in our lives. I also wrote notes in developing my idea of what I can bring to our church.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! Let's FELLOWSHIP! God Bless!

Day 12: "Developing Your Friendship With God"

Welcome Readers. We continue on as we journey through the chapters of Pastor Rick Warren's book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? 

Day 12: "Developing Your Friendship With God"

"Point to Ponder: I'm as close to God as I choose to be."

Daily Verse: "Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you." James 4:8A (NLT)

Daily Question: "What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?"

From my journal the day of reading: I will talk to Kyle (my husband) about my journey, so he understands me. I will plan a schedule to help me grow the gifts, talents, and blessings God has blessed me with.

I'm sitting here smiling because that journal entry doesn't come close to doing justice for the walk I've been walking with God, since reading it. I remember reading this chapter & thinking....I've got a lot to work on before I'm ready for a friendship with God....NOT SO MUCH PEEPS.... I mean, YES...I had to work on things (still do) & they were pretty intense for me, but I've done them & I am ALREADY developing my relationship with God.

I was talking to someone yesterday about an experience I had when praying over a tragedy of some VERY dear friends of mine. She was asking me questions about it & how we KNOW when a certain person needs to be prayed for. I started out by saying: "You know that gut feeling you get....or that AWARENESS you get sometimes when you just KNOW The Holy Spirit is guiding you?" They looked at me & said...."No...I can't say that I've really experienced that. I mean I'll read Bible verses & they will speak to me or be exactly what I need, but I can't say that I've ever experienced what you are talking about." The next question they asked me was: "How do you get that feeling? What do you do?" I'm sitting here tearing up because I am in AWE of God. COMPLETE AWE.... I wrote that post yesterday about the types of friendships I have with The Holy Spirit, Jesus, & God.... In the conversation I had yesterday evening I KNEW what I needed to say to answer that question. Here it is: "You have to INVITE God in. You have to STRIP your EGO & PRIDE (and I gave a few examples of extreme ego & what I think is ego, but you don't really look at it that way) & be able to HUMBLE yourself to whatever member of The Holy Trinity they are really speaking to." I explained that humbling yourself to them is SHOWING them ALL of it: your pain, your anger, your confusion, your stress, what you question....which I REMEMBER...I held back until I realized GOD KNOWS ALL OF IT ANYWAY. He wants the raw & honest TRUTH (good, bad, & the ugly) & he wants YOU to WANT to talk to Him. You don't have to go out and profess it to the world, but to God. Once you start being honest to got you start being honest with yourself too.

My friend gave me a new Bible that has several different translations in it. I have to tell you...I struggle with reading the Bible...not because I don't want to, but because I can't figure out how to really get the most out of it. I read 3 quarters through the Old Testament just page after page, but stopped because I wasn't grasping it the way I thought I would....it was more like a chore...kinda. I've tried that online Bible study.....I mean LONG readings & I found it easy for me to stop & not finish...then have a LONG one to catch up with the next day. This book has helped me verse by verse, to learn parts of the Bible. Since getting the new Bible from my friend....I've went to it twice. I just opened to a page. The first day it took me straight to a story of dealing with anger....I needed it.

Last night it took me to Acts 10-11. What I read discussed how the Apostles started FILLING people...ALL people...with The Holy Spirit & the BIRTH of Christianity. Again...I am in AWE. What do I KNOW? I know that we are supposed to INTRODUCE as many people as we can to The Holy Spirit, which I think is the SECOND step in developing a relationship with GOD. The FIRST is being willing to humble yourself & telling him you want him in your life. Guys remember...He will not give you more than you can handle. You can START right now. I have known the person I talked to yesterday ALL of their life & I know they BELIEVE in God & pray, BUT I think they are ready to GET TO KNOW GOD.

This book says 4 things about developing a relationship with God: "I must choose to be honest to God." "I must choose to obey God in faith." "I must choose to value what God values." "I must desire friendship with God more than anything else."

I REALLY do ENCOURAGE everyone to go get this book, if you haven't already & read this for yourself.

Looking at my journal entry & remembering what I was thinking I KNOW that I felt like I'd be 50 before I was even going to be "worthy" enough to have a TRUE friendship with God. Now I KNOW I am worthy right now.

I have to share another thing that this chapter revealed to me & I had been struggling with it for some time. I know someone that doesn't KNOW how to be authentic. (This chapter discussed being AUTHENTIC.) They sort of adapt to the personalities, wants, needs, thoughts of whoever they are around. Now guys....I LOVE making friends....LOVE IT! However...I was having a REALLY hard time gettin' there with this person...in fact...still haven't gotten there & it BOTHERED me BUT I couldn't MAKE myself invite them into my circle of friends. I don't mean my CLOSE friends...I mean just truly FULLY enjoy their company as any kind of friend. This sentence made the light bulb go off: "What may appear as audacity God views as authenticity." Now this was talking about how we should be frank with God & that he can handle our truth in any kind of way we give it to him. BUT what it revealed to me about my struggle with the person above is that I was struggling because THEY weren't being authentic. You can't MAKE someone be authentic. You can't MAKE someone invite you in, AND you can't build a relationship or a friendship with ANYONE if they aren't being AUTHENTIC. There will be NO trust. There will be NO common ground b/c you won't even know what it is. I think it's important for me to say that I'm not just ASSUMING that they aren't being authentic. I had (from my end) an OPEN & HONEST conversation about concerns of the other & offered guidance & support for whatever that person felt like THEY needed. The next week they were doing EXACTLY what they had such a problem with & I KNOW you can't make an AUTHENTIC decision in even a month's time (in this area) & quite frankly....what we discussed may have not been authentic. I KNOW they need the guidance of The Holy Spirit, but I'm not so sure that I am the person that can break through to them. I've tried twice. That is why it is EVER so important that WE HELP OTHERS. Sometimes the people someone is surrounded with can't give them what they need, no matter how much they WANT to.

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!! Don't wait! Don't hesitate!! God Bless!