The Creative Cure

There is something about a change in scenery; something about showing up to create and being open to let The Holy Spirit, and your gift of creativity from God, lead you.....

Over the years, I have really made a conscience effort to get to know myself better. Instead of questioning my differences (because I sure feel like I have them); I have learned to lean into them and explore them. 

At one point in my life, when my anxiety was at an all-time high, I discovered that CREATING things was like fun and relaxing therapy. I do mean therapy. I felt SO MUCH BETTER emotionally, physically, spiritually. I was renewed....relieved from the burden of stress, and many times was able to look at situations differently - with a new lens.....or maybe a clean and refreshed lens :). 

I knew the benefit because I had taken some random paint classes, took friends and crew members to just go paint. However, when I REALLY understood and felt the long-term benefit was when a friend had a cute little DIY shop and boutique. If you know me, you know I live a busy life. I thrive in it, but I can get myself to a place where I JUST KEEP GOING. I learned to make it a habit to go do something quarterly AT LEAST. Sometimes I would frequent it more. Sometimes I would go alone. 

Life started taking me in a completely different direction geographically and she closed the shop and a new business is in there now. I've had to find other creative ways, but I have not been near as consistent with it. 

Well, this week I FELT the need to CReaTe. I'm on the cusp of a pivot that I have thought about and prayed about and second-guessed myself and prayed some more......cried a few times, felt completely lost/unsure/self-conscious, been tested in ways I saw coming and ways I didn't... AND now....through faith, prayer, and this journey God has taken me on - to determine what I really want. I am talking about the ACTUAL DESIRES of my heart. NOT....what it "should" be. NOT.....what is the typical approach to many people in my same field. NOT....what others think I "should do" or "could do" or "need to do.: I'm talking about what I want to do with my one precious life. Now that there are some CLEAR boundaries on this path and I'm not wandering in the wilderness, the enemy has really come at me. 

For me, the way I know the enemy is meddling is I experience a variety of events and situations that burden me, waste my time, or delay my work. The enemy exploits the weaknesses in me. He exploits the weaknesses in those close to me. Here are some of my examples: insomnia, caffine intake, decisions of family members that end up effecting me somehow, judgement of my weaknesses from others, surprise change in plans or schedule. There are times I feel the nudge, whoa, stop, slow downs of The Holy Spirit and then there are the deliberate hurdles the enemy uses.....that are purely to steal, kill, or destroy plans for God's kingdom work. 

As I reflect this evening, it is not surprising. It is hard to see it, in the thick of things, but: pausing, resting, and reflecting, and finding an opportunity to create helps you to see things differently. I went to my sister's tent at the Antique Show. She has her hat bar set up. (It is called Pink Poodle Patches.) She is in that first lot after the elementary school in Round Top and is set up under some big oak trees, wrapped in lights. I sat there for several hours. Our kids hung out, my oldest worked, and I made two caps for football games and a new bag to keep my religious ed books in for Wednesday's class.  I came home more refreshed and relieved than when I got there. I even got to help a few shoppers design and create and think. During this moment of creativity I realized a few things. There were moments (one in particular) that I allowed the enemy to get the best of me. I let his antics effect me TOO MUCH. There were other moments where he bested me, but through God's wisdom, I was able to recognize  and redeem those moments to some degree. I also remember that this is exactly why I would hard-schedule these creative opportunities AT LEAST once a quarter. It is solid for my mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional health. 

The other thing that I always find SO COOL about cReAtivIty is how God shares it with all of us and we share it with each other. Imagine all the JOY it must bring Him. He is SO good. He loves us SO much. I pray that everyone makes, even the smallest effort, to get to know our Maker. I'm SO grateful for His reminders, even if I have to work myself up in a tizzy to see them. 

These verses resonate with me in this moment: 

Exodus 31:3-6

Ephesians 2:10

Isaiah 43:19

1Peter 4:10-11

Moth Ponderings

 I recently completed a journey through the Bible. As a result, the dedicated time I spent reading, journaling, and studying, has freed up. Mondays, almost always, start with a layer of anxiety different than all the other days of the week. In an attempt to NOT let the anxiety win out, I try to start Mondays in meditation, prayer, Bible story narrations, and sometimes a combination of them. 

Those of you that follow my blogs or my Facebook Page, may be aware of how sometimes God reveals a topic. One of my more popular vlogs was about Jonah and the Whale. Well, a couple weeks ago, I could not get the idea of MOTHS out of my head. Now, two weeks later, I don't really recall the scripture, story, prompting. I do remember the lessons and my findings though! What an amazing adventure He takes us on! There is truly SO much to explore!

Moths represent a lot of things, but in literal Biblical terms - they are most closely categorized with the destruction of earthly riches/possessions. However, that is not what was not the direction I was getting from my ponderings. It was MORE....the not so literal contexts. 

Photo Cred: Kite's Custom Cleaners

This led me down what some would characterize as a "rabbit hole," but it really led me to what would later REALLY resonate with me and what I'm sharing here in this blog. I know moths are associated with destruction, but they are God's creation and God's plans are not for destruction. Somehow, in my Internet surfing, I found that "moths" are referenced in scripture 7 times. This may not mean a lot to everyone, but for me - the number 7 is divine. It was like finding a bread crumb that let me know my thoughts were moving in the right direction. Moths represent MORE than destruction. 

Then, I started pondering the differences and connections between moths and butterflies. Butterflies evolved from moths. In the grand scheme of creation - both are VERY important regarding pollination and playing their part in the food chain. However, if you were to compare the two: moths have been around longer; if comparing their pollinations skills - moths win out; and  the cocoons of a moth produce silk...and an abundance of it, where you gather very little from the chrysallises of butterflies in silk production. Nowhere, in scripture, are butterflies mentioned. Yes, they were around. I did the math. In no way am I attempting to downplay the importance and symbolism of butterflies. Most of those same symbolism's like "new life," can also be attributed to moths. Butterflies came from moths. Moths are the "root." I believe that is why they are referenced in scripture and not butterflies. Butterflies are beautiful, but in actuality, SO much more is produced from the moth. Yes, they also destroy; which may be another lesson to unpack, but my focus was lead to just how much "showy" doesn't matter to God. It is what we produce.

I shared my ponderings....a few days later with my friend/prayer partner++. She sent me a link to a teaching from Nancy Dufresne. As I listened to this, I was reminded of the anxiety I was experiencing, that ultimately led me to my moth ponderings and how, ultimately, these ponderings pushed some of the anxieties out and how together - The Holy Trinity and I - took care of my mind. 

I know there could be a lot to unpack here. There ALWAYS is, in anything inspired by God. But for the last two weeks, the lessons God has taught me through: scripture, His creation, and other believers are abundant. 

• God is not interested in the showy. He is interested in the substance. 
• There are divine and holy lessons through moths (& SO MANY more creations) to explore.
• Moths destroy, but they also produce - like humans.
• Focus on the "root" or the beginning of things and not so much on showy, evolutionary things. 
• Don't discount the less showy/more humble of anything.
• Place more focus on what you produce and less focus on how it looks. 
• Working on ourself is SO MUCH more important than the outside things we produce. 

I still LOVE butterflies and the wonder I feel when I see them. (If you've never been you should all go to The Butterfly Palace in Branson, Missouri.) However, I have a new appreciation for moths.