Angst from Jesus's Perspective - Luke 22:40-44

Easter....the Easter season has seemed so pivotal and transformational to me for the last several years. I KNOW it was, when Jesus finished the work on the cross, but EVERY Easter season for the last....10 years...approximately, I have found myself examining another layer of the importance of the work Jesus did. 

This year, I found myself pondering the angst Jesus experienced....throughout, but mainly before the crucifixion. From the book of Luke:

I don't know if any of you have felt angst. I have on a couple of occasions. Angst is irrational, but the feelings of worry, confusion, feeling lost, aware that whatever could or is getting ready to happen WILL completely change the trajectory of what you know and....the other side of it is....abrupt and swift and NOTHING in life will ever be how it is in the current state of angst. It is like a deep, dreadful......all-encompassing panicked moment of deep mourning BEFORE the change arrives. 

As I transported myself as an observer into this very situation on the Mount of Olives... I imagine Jesus encouraging the disciples to pray, but almost having that feeling of....they are on their own because I need to get myself right. I believe He still very-much cared for them in that moment, but He needed to also care for Himself in that moment.

I can't imagine, in His flesh, that He totally understood why there was not another way....why He had to endure THE WORST FORM OF HUMAN PUNISHMENT known to man, at that time. I imagine Him being so sick to His stomach & weak with worry & also being concerned about discouraging the disciples, while in His current state. 

He KNEW His flesh was going to die and that He would feel every bit of the dying process....every bit of earthly life leaving His body. He imagined what it would feel like. He imagined the pain. He imagined EVERYTHING that was coming ahead. You know....in our flesh....we imagine things much worse than they wind up happening. 

Somehow, as I pondered from this perspective, I came to realize that: Yes. Jesus was crucified on the cross because He loves us & He wanted to save us & join us to Him. But I believe, His FINAL earthly YES was because of His overwhelming LOVE FOR GOD. He was not obedient to us. He was obedient to God. I believe the angel God sent, eased Jesus's worries. I believe that God intervened when He did because of His love for Jesus and His love for us. I believe that Jesus was able to take that massive step of obedient faith because He knew God loved Him and whatever was on the other side of all. that. pain. WAS BETTER. God gave Him the mission. God gave Him the purpose. God gave Him the willingness. God gave Him the way. God gave Him the strength. AND God delivered on His promise. 

He said the most scary, FAITHFUL, obedient YES to God, in history. 

Sitting with this, really strengthens something in me. I don't know what. For sure, my relationships with The Holy Trinity, but also something else. 

If you have never said a fearful yes, to God's call; I encourage you to do it. That yes that Jesus said, is BY FAR the scariest yes I can imagine. I mean......Jesus KNEW that He would lead others like: Peter, Jude, Paul, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, James, James (son of Zebedee), Bartholomew, Andrew, and so many more, down this painful path - by saying His yes. He said yes to torture, ridicule, pain, mental and emotional strife, betrayal, and He also said YES to LIFE for us all FOREVER. They ALL did. He walked through death, so it would have no hold on us. Whatever we suffer, if we have faith in God, the other side will be better. Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus! SAY that fearFUL YES!

Words & Deeds

 There is power in your words and even more power in your actions. In almost every situation, every decision that has to be made you have the power...yes YOU have the power to either encourage, enhance, motivate and show kindness OR partner with the enemy and seek to steal, kill, & destroy (John 10:10). It really is that simple. If that decision is grounded in the love of the Father, it will be LIFE-GIVING. 

Review your day.... Think about decisions you made: conversations you had, speaking without considering how the other person may receive it, posting something, not communicating an important update.... What were they grounded in?: love, hope, faith, or fear, anger, self-seeking desire, money... Think about it folks. 

Drill all the way down on it. Did you make the decision you did because you have done all you know to do and this decision is what you believe is best for all involved OR did you make the decision you made out of disagreement and judgement and not uncover the complete truth of the situation? Did you act on emotions invoked by half-truths or facts and whole-truths? Be brave enough to be honest with yourself and KNOW that God loves you no matter what. 

People that I love dearly and others I respect, have done and said and posted things lately and I'm not so sure they understand the POWER of their words and/or actions. Stop telling people what they should do, how they should do it, using people, manipulating people and situations and think that you have the authority to do it! GOD gives each and every one of us free-will and we should do the same for each other. 

You are either dividing or bringing together. You are either encouraging out of love, out of fear, or out of selfish motives. Love the people you want to love on and leave everyone else alone. 

When you operate in a place of fear, anger, money, self-seeking desires.....you are partnering with the enemy. You are allowing the enemy to use you. 

Have you guys seen what's going on in the world???? Nobody's got time for that. There is plenty of hate and fear in the world right now. Buck Up & GET. IT. TOGETHER. 

For real....we all have many, many choices every single day. Choose who you want to work with (Jesus or Satan). Your decisions show your heart. The wonderful, wonderful, BEAUTIFUL gift God has given us in Jesus, not only gives us power, but also gives us the blessed gift of FORGIVENESS! Did you make a decision rooted in sin? Guess what......turn your heart to Jesus, repent, & it is TOTALLY FORGIVEN! WIPED CLEAN!!! If you get bucked off....BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS! He will get you back in the saddle over and over and over again.....as many times as you need to build  YOUR trust in Him. 

Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus!

So some of you guys may be wondering: Why 2 blogs? I recently had a Jesus moment....maybe more like a Holy Spirit moment & thus....Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus has been created. You can still see my original blog about auctions, life, Junk Proms and whatever else I decide to talk about @ http://buckupbaby.blogspot.com.

In this blog I am going to try & have Faithful Friday posts, where I will share my current journey OR my ride with Jesus, if you will. I'm really very much a thinker & I think A LOT. Life can be WiLd & Wooly, ConfUSing & beautiful, & a WHOLE LOT of other adjectives. Feel free to comment. Remember these are my thoughts, questions, opinions. I'm not makin' you read'm, believe'm or anything of the sort. I'm just sharing my point of view & hope that this blog will help me (& others) GROW in their FAITH.

My first story to share that kinda prompted the whole thought that I needed something MORE is this:

I recently started a new job & had the opportunity to accompany an RN to a hospital to assess a patient. We had the opportunity to visit & get to know each other on the commute to & from the hospital. Along the way we discussed our families, home life, political views, upcoming plans, & GOD.

She has a son that is mentally retarded. He is in his late 20s, but has the mental capacity of an 18 month old. She shared with me that the only words he really says are: "Momma Momma. I love you Momma" and I told her what a BLESSING that must be to have those words repeated to her over & over again.

Later we were discussing politics & the state of our country (amongst other things). She made the statement that she thinks Armageddon is closer than most realize. My mind went to : Where will my children be if that happens in their lifetime & I felt fear & concern. I told her the thought scared me a little and her response was "Scared? I'm excited! I can't wait!"

Needless to say...It got me to thinkin'. I had a rush of anxiety come over me. Kind of like... I shouldn't be scared. I should be excited for the coming of Jesus, but....quite frankly...the thought of it being right upon us SCARED ME. How will it happen? Will I be with my babies? I better get right with JESUS! All kinds of things were running through my head. My new RN friend could have glanced over and saw the blood rush from my face....I'm tellin' you....a JESUS moment.

My RN friend has moved back to her hometown. I only had the chance to get to know her for 2 weeks. Tell me that's not a God thing!

Needless to say. It made me start thinking a certain way. It made me face the thought, the reality, the whole basis of our being. BELIEVE ME.....I don't have answers, BUT I have a better grasp on where my head needs to be, what I should be teaching my babies, that we NEED to SHARE OUR FAITH with others....

It also gave me perspective of my life and how TRULY BLESSED I am. My friend SHARED some of her STRUGGLES with me. Her son knows nothing else besides the LOVE that she & her family give him. She knows her struggles & battles she has faced & HER FAITH IS SO STRONG! She KNOWS with NO HESITATION that there is a BETTER WORLD where there is NO PAIN. Our STRUGGLES will be over. We will find PEACE and it will be MORE BEAUTIFUL than anything we could ever imagine. It sees to me that her struggles have made her APPRECIATE & ANTICIPATE the COMING OF JESUS.

I hope that this story resonates with someone & I hope whoever reads this feels more apt to SPEAK FREELY about their FAITH.

BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS! It's the BEST COMPANY you'll ever find. May GOD BLESS you! Stay tuned for my next entry!!