"Day 35: "God's Power In Your Weakness"

This post will round out the chapters for our 4th Purpose: "You Were Shaped for Serving God." Today we talk about "God's Power In Your Weakness," and move on to Day 35 in the book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

As I find myself getting closer to God, Jesus, & The Holy Spirit.... I'm havin' to deal with things. I've always been a "Get'r Done" kinda gal. You know...super duper multi-tasker...regularly frenzied up because I was running from one thing to the next trying to be/find/develop a solution for everybody....and you know...pretty good at it....BUT it was flat exhausting. So as I learn that anxiety and worry are not Godly, and as I reflect back and realize I LIVED through resigning from that position & am here to tell about IT & the journey I've been on, and as I try REAL HARD to be who God wants me to be....I realized something.

I have a pattern. Even though I have UN-frenzied much of my life (& I'm still working on some areas) I kind of adopted the thought process that NOTHING is ever good enough. Now....let me tell ya...it's not like I JUST discovered this. I mean I knew it was a FLAW of mine, but I kind of just went around it, covered it up, ignored it, & discredited it. Well....I also know now that EVERYTHING has a purpose & I CAN'T BE who God wants me to be if I CONSTANTLY find a way to discredit myself...or any extension of myself.

So then I try to stop... I don't know how & IT'S NOT SIMPLE, so don't even go there with me. I mean when you become AWARE...like REALLY AWARE you can stop yourself in one moment, but then realize you just did it a few minutes before and didn't even realize it. I'm tellin' you...it's deep-rooted. So then I pray to God & say: "I'm in a funk. I know you love me. I know you know I'm tryin'. BUT I know somethin' ain't right and I want to make it right & I don't know how. PLEASE allow me to feel that gentle tug from The Holy Spirit to get me THERE...wherever THERE is." So then the Mark 12:30 pops in my head: "Love the Lord your God with all your HEART, & with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Now I didn't get this right away....only later when I watched an interview of 2-time Cancer Survivor Mark Nepo.....that the KEY is the HEART....MY heart...mines the only one that can HELP me. The other things are important, but the HEART is first for a reason. Then, as I sat down to write this post & re-read the chapter this pops out at me: "A weakness is any limitation that you inherited or have no power to change." Hmmmm....well I'm TRYIN' my dangdest, but I CAN'T figure it out! I don't have the answer/solution/etc. Why can't I just be HAPPY?

I'm not sure how many of you readers are familiar with prayer work & generational work, but that's what I was led to. So think about this. Studies have shown that abused and neglected children will sometimes go their ENTIRE life holding onto things, having a plethora of issues, & in mental turmoil from the actions that happened to them. What about someone who's mother, brother, sister, father, friend committed suicide/died in some form of tragedy/was abused/neglected/handicapped...Do you think they will be affected by that in some way? What if that someone has kids & doesn't DEAL with the funk their in? the questions they have? the plethora of emotions? Well...some of that FUNK rubs off on them (the kids)...whatever it is OR whatever way they express it: anger, never measuring up, bitterness, negativity, passing judgements, selfishness....the list could go on. Well (someone that's been studyin' this a long time may beg to differ) BUT that starts a generational thread that will CONTINUALLY be passed down (many times without even knowing it) UNTIL someone puts the brakes on it. From MY experience putting the brakes on it means HONESTLY & OPENLY OWNING your flaws...ALL of them...the REAL ugLY ones...the ones you think aren't so bad & ARE...OWNING the flaws of your PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS & GREAT-GRANDPARENTS & how they've affected YOUR life & how YOU allowed them to, without even knowing it............ I'm tellin' you...I've never done nothin' like it. I mean you OPENLY & HONESTLY KNOW & IDENTIFY a flaw....& have a hard time letting go of it because it's been a defining part of you & you are SCARED of functioning without it. Guess what.... YOU WILL FUNCTION WITHOUT IT. It's just like working for a company for your entire professional career, thinking you'd retire there, deciding to resign, & not bein' sure what's next. You can bet SOMETHING's next. FAITH: Sometimes is easy & a life-line & sometimes it's TOUGH. Just know...if you step out in it.....SOMETHING will replace what you left.

Mark Nepo discussed in the interview I watched that: God is there when we BREAK & he's there when the break opens up.....MAYBE the biggest take away from that interview (there were MANY take-aways) is when he said: "Whatever opens us is never as important as what it opens."

I kinda feel like God is holding my hand a little bit. It's all on time. It all has purpose & I AM ENOUGH right here, right now, & there is NO NEED to hurry, worry, or force. I feel MORE LOVED than ever. I feel worthy. I feel blessed. I feel like an ESSENTIAL, DIVINE piece of God's PLAN. I don't KNOW the plan. I just know I'm NECESSARY....just the way I am & in just the direction I'm going.

One other thing that Mark Nepo talked about that TOTALLY hit home for me was something along these lines: It was after he had beat cancer for the first time. He had tapped into that spiritual KNOWING....kind of like a line of communication & he KNEW he was supposed to wait...not force things. He was a professor and a writer & he wanted to contribute to society. He wanted to be an accomplished poet, but he KNEW he needed to listen and feel for that tug or see that open door. He said it felt so ODD for him. His description (& a good one) is it was like he was in a river and the banks were always his guide, but after he survived cancer the first time & he had developed in his faith and knowing it was like that river came too the mouth of the ocean & his guides were gone...& he didn't know what to do next.

Boy.....do I KNOW that feeling. Lost...you feel lost & lonely...& start second-guessing yourself and your decisions that you HAD felt so passionately about. But then Nepo said this (& I'm TOTALLY paraphrasing from memory) "He then realized that the current was still there. It was just lower & deeper."

These are just a few examples of weakness where GOD uses his power within them (my inability to see VALUE & WHOLENESS in myself, our NEED to control where we go next, and Nepo's journey to beat cancer). I ENCOURAGE all of you to take a good hard look at your weaknesses & pray to God about them and ASK God to USE them for his glory.

"Point to Ponder: God works best when I admit my weakness."

Daily Bible Verse: "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9A (NIV)

Daily Question: "Am I limiting God's power in my life by trying to hide my weaknesses? What do I need to be honest about in order to help others?

From my Journal: (I had NO CLUE the first time around.) I really do feel like I'm pretty open about most things. Some areas of struggle, which I've mentioned before is cleanliness. It's an area of laziness and disinterest for me and I don't like it, but I'm not sure how to fix it. Another area of weakness is time management - which I feel like I'm improving on and probably money management - which I also feel like I'm getting better at. Another weakness is voicing my needs to the people that can help me. Around certain people I gossip more freely and it bothers me because I'm trying not to.

I can tell you now, that EVERYTHING I listed above are surface weaknesses & SOMEHOW (it was some kind of process) I felt the NEED to get honest....REAL honest....honest to myself, God, & a TRUSTED friend.

Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! The first time around he's easy on ya. The second time HE BRINGS YOU TO IT,...but he brings you through it too.

God Bless!

Day 24: "Transformed By Truth"

Welcome back readers!! For new readers, we are taking a day by day journey through Pastor Rick Warren's book: The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? I have read the book once & I LOVED it SO much that I'm reading it again & sharing my experiences & how I've begun to apply what this book teaches to my life.

This chapter discusses the IMPORTANCE of The Bible. I'd like to tell ya'll a story. I have a VERY dear friend that has studied, Studied, STUDIED the Bible & I really didn't know how STRONG of a BELIEVER she was, when we first became friends. I mean...I look to her as a TEACHER to me. I had asked her to help me at one of my auctions (NEVER worked at one before) & she just swooped in where she was NEEDED & did a great job. I'm an EXPERIENCE kinda gal & when I took the BIG step to go at the auction business FULL-TIME I saw God workin' in ways I had never seen before & havin' things revealed to me & saw how certain things were SO connected to each other. Whew! I can get on the phone and talk to her for HOURS & one day she asked me what kind of Bible I had...I told her. Well next thing you know she brought me a Catholic Bible that had four different versions of God's Word in it. I've said in a previous blog that I just had a HARD time falling into a way to REALLY read The Bible. The BEST thing that worked for me (and it wasn't workin' all that well) was to read it cover to cover & I wasn't half way through it yet.

Well...she gave me this Bible and it sat on my table for at least a week and a half. Finally, one day I went to it. I was gearin' myself up to have one of those HARD conversations & I needed MORE than what this book & my devotional could give me. I opened up the Bible & the heading in the text was about dealing with anger. It drew me in. Then over the next couple days I continued to do that (I know many people will tell you that is NOT the best way to read & understand The Bible.) I kept feeling myself DRAWN into it. Now I feel drawn to the book of Matthew & it will be the first WHOLE chapter I finish since I started reading it again. Just now as I was TRYING to find what book of the Bible I was in that talked about dealing with anger I was again...DRAWN to Hebrews Chapter 11, which talks about remembering the heroes of faith. I NEEDED to read that. I NEEDED to hear the multiple stories of God's disciples that walked out in NOTHING BUT FAITH...even when it didn't makes sense...AT ALL...to do it.

I re-read the chapter & had all kinds of bullet points on what would be a good idea to share with you, but I think I'll end this way. When you start walking out into faith, asking for a relationship with God, calling upon The Holy Spirit & having FAITH that help is coming...you will see changes. You will start feeling NATURAL tugs. I had some natural tuggin' goin' on when I finally opened up my new Bible.Once you start surrendering yourself, He will REVEAL more to you.

Two of my favorite things from this chapter: "Decide that regardless of culture, tradition, reason, or emotion, you choose the Bible as your final authority." & "Daily Bible reading will keep you in range of God's voice." This chapter also discusses the importance of sharing our journey with others...our thoughts...our concerns...our experiences.... That is why I ENCOURAGE you to SHARE whatever it is you are thinking about these posts. It will help us all GROW more.

"Point to Ponder: The truth transforms me."

Daily Bible Verse: "If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:31-32 (KJV)

Daily Question: "What has God already told me in his Word that I haven't started doing yet?"

From my journal after reading the first time: 1-Completely trusting Him and letting go of worry: I can tell I'm getting better, BUT when worldly pressures come down - the anxiety comes back. (THIS has gotten EXTREMELY better since the first time I read this chapter.) 2 - Reading the Bible cover to cover. (Working on that & have some guidance that has been working for me.) 3 - Learning more - specifically about my church. 4 - I started forgiving people on "my list," but I have not started forgiving each one: Some I need to forgive & some I need to ask for forgiveness. (I've talked to MOST everyone on "my list," but haven't talked to everyone yet.)

Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus. If you don't have one, go get you a BIBLE. It'll be the best readin' material, road map, & instruction manual you'll EVER find. God Bless!

Day 10: "A Heart of Worship"

Welcome back readers & WELCOME to new readers!! Today is DAY 10 on our journey through the book: A Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? by Pastor Rick Warren.

I am in COMPLETE AWE of how God works in our lives. The WORK of SURRENDER I did this morning was work that I thought I already did. It was DEEP rooted. DEEP. As I've been writing these blog posts...I tend to look forward to the next day and what the topic will be & I didn't yesterday.

Let me tell you somethin'! If you ASK the Good Lord to ENTER into your life...If you ASK Him to SHINE LIGHT on situations... If you ASK him to BLESS you...HE WILL DO IT....and you better be ready. I can't really explain it. Let me just tell you that he is REVEALING MORE to me the second time around with this book, than he did the first time. He is not only telling me now....He is MOVING me. He is MAKING me move. I mean it when I say this book is LIFE-CHANGING.

The first line in this chapter: "The heart of worship is surrender." Most of us look at a word like surrender as weakness. I feel like society as a whole goes through a kabillions (prob not a word) of BAND-AIDS to cover up the hurt and the weaknesses that we DON'T WANT TO SURRENDER. I am telling you now...there is SOMETHING (& maybe several things) you have to SURRENDER to God to get closer to Him & break the devil's hold on your life...AND that something or THINGS you probably don't want to touch, or think about, or don't want to let back in. You WANT to sweep them under the rug. ASK GOD to clean you out & take the devil's hold off of you. He will do it in a loving way & he will place the right people in you life to HELP you do it. Be prepared for potential exhaustion. Be prepared for a LIFT in SPIRIT.

He spoke a stripped down, raw & honest TRUTH to me last night & this morning he took the BURDEN I had been carrying (that I thought I had released) from me. Just like that. He just took the devil's hold & BROKE it. BROKE IT! It is GONE. He revealed a hold on me I didn't KNOW was there, made me aware, made me affirm it, & has blessed me.

As you go through this chapter & you learn about Paul & you read the words he preached to people & how he URGED them to surrender, The Spirit will start to stir. He didn't go into great detail. He just asks us to do it. The first time I read this book I didn't "GET IT." I am intrigued by Paul. I got the importance. I got the NEED to do it, but I didn't understand it at the level I NEEDED to understand it. Paul experienced God's GRACE & SUPREME VISION regularly, BUT you can't really EXPLAIN that to people in a way they will understand. What I "GET" now is: You have to have FAITH. If you have faith...INVITE GOD IN. If you invite God in he will SHOW you. He will HELP you SURRENDER & then he will cause you to continually SURRENDER. Doing work on you gives GLORY to God & SAVES you.

Warren writes: "There are three barriers that block our total surrender to God: fear, pride, and confusion."

5 areas to FOCUS on today:

1) "Can I trust God?" Pastor Warren sums this up: "You won't surrender to God unless you trust him, but you can't trust him until you know him better....The more you realize how much God loves you the easier surrender becomes." I had a conversation with someone once about how to find Jesus in some of the REALLY difficult moments: a painful disease, a rape, a beating. How do people find TRUST in God in experiences like that? We are all born with The Spirit inside us. EVEN IF YOU ARE MAD AT GOD...ASK Him to show you where he was & He will. He WILL NOT give us ANYTHING we can't handle & his PLAN for you transcends that pain.

2) "Admitting our limitations." "We don't want to admit that we're just creatures and not in charge of everything...That desire - to have complete control - is the cause of so much stress in our lives." Well put Pastor Rick! Yeah...I was wound up in all of that like a lot of others...still am in some areas. I believe now....that he wants to take care of the HARD & icky stuff. RELEASE it to him. Don't get me wrong. We have to DO WORK, but we don't need to CREATE unnecessary work.

3) "What it means to surrender." This one gets deep. EVERYONE needs to read it. I'll try and keep it short. Pastor Rick's words: "Surrendering to God is not passive resignation, fatalism, or an excuse for laziness. It is not accepting the status quo. It may mean the exact opposite: sacrificing your life or suffering in order to change what needs to be changed. God often calls surrendered people to do battle on his behalf. Surrendering is not for cowards or doormats." AMEN! It ain't easy folks & it ain't for sissies & you will NEED God's GRACE to keep you moving. The Bible says, "Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for him." I KNOW I've begun this process. There is work I have to do & he is STRIPPING my EGO away from it. It is NOT ABOUT ME. It is about doing HIS work.

One more thing from the book that spoke to me was when Pastor Warren discussed the most difficult area of surrender, which is this thought: "'I want to live for God but I also want to earn enough money to live comfortably and retire someday.'" If you are SURRENDERING...NOTHING competes with God. This was TOUGH for me, but I have AMAZING FAITH that He will PROVIDE everything I need & WHEN we need it & I know that all of our solutions are right in front of us...it's just like putting a puzzle together.

4) "The blessing of surrender." Here is what you will experience: PEACE...(Don't we all want some peace.) Then...FREEDOM. He's talkin' freedom from the binding ties the devil & his army uses. Lastly, "you experience God's power in your life." & yes you do. "Surrendered people are the one's God uses." Examples would be: Mother Mary, Paul, Joseph, Noah, Joshua....

5) "The best way to live." How we live, what we do, what we allow, how we react...is ALL our responsibility. We have to OWN that & stop BLAMING everyone else. In this section we are URGED to give it ALL to The Holy Trinity. We have to PRACTICE this because we will have to continually surrender & sometimes it will be easier than others. Paul said: "I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infused inner strength into me, that is, I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency." 

Today's "Point to Ponder: The heart of worship is surrender."

Daily Verse: "Surrender yoru whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes. " Romans 6:13B (TEV)

Daily Question: "What area of my life am I holding back from God?"

From my journal: I'm trying to control it and fix it and fix people and fix myself and get better and do better and make more money. I will give it all to him and even talk to Kyle (my husband) about it too. I know this will be hard and will have to be done over and over again, but I will!

Buck Up Baby & RIDE with Jesus! Nope...won't be easy, BUT will be worth it! God Bless!!