I am wrestling so much with this post, yet feel the message is SO important to share.
The kids and I visited a different church than we normally go to, but it is the one we normally go to when we don't go to our regular church. After adjusting to the volume of the worship music, Hunter, my youngest was MOVED almost immediately. Pieces of the message also stuck with him.
I found myself convicted in my stance, on the message. I found myself being concerned for others seeking Jesus, that could be in the congregation. I believe, based on the reaction of my youngest, that the intention was to ENCOURAGE us to be better. To examine our lives and strive for excellence, because excellence was GIVEN to us. I don't just believe this. I know this. This message can and will encourage us and all that heard it. YET......I still feel the importance of what I want to share, just THROBBING to get out of me.
When I walked into church and we began worshiping and praising, I felt so comfortable in my relationship with The Holy Trinity and I knew that I now knew myself better, than I did the last time I had attended the same church. I know that as much as I know the conviction I felt in my spirit about the message.
I am wrestling with this share because I believe it may be unpopular. It will reveal thoughts, emotions, and visions that most people won't want to think about, won't want to envision, & don't want to feel the feels.
I don't know how to explain this any other way except the message made me feel like it was coming from a place of entitlement...or directed towards people that came from a place of entitlement. What I mean by that is....how easy is it to tell someone to examine the weak spots in their life and tell them that they should be better, because of the gift Jesus gave us. It made me feel a way.... As things were mentioned that WE ALL STRUGGLE WITH in some form or fashion, and my oldest daughter looked over at me like: "That's me." "That's us." I felt moved to & immediately leaned over to all three and told them, that they are enough. God wants a relationship with us, but He wants us to THRIVE and not to STRIVE.
I've been thinking about it all day. Really.... And I think that the reason Holy Spirit CONVICTED my spirit in the way I experienced it is because....God has REALLY impressed upon me the importance of knowing myself and He had to spell out to me that He was NEVER the one to tell me to STRIVE, yet that is what I have done, in some form or fashion, ALL. MY. LIFE. I can't think of a time, except for recently that I was not in a constant.....literally CONSTANT state of striving. ALL of the striving was to win the favor of man: parents, siblings, family, teachers, friends, peers, other professionals.........literally everyone. When The Holy Trinity was kind enough to BLESS ME with the WISDOM (although we are taught this from Sunday School on...) that, what The Holy Trinity has GIVEN us is a GIFT! We didn't ask for it. We didn't and still can't understand it's value. We couldn't and didn't work for it. GOD'S ONLY DESIRE IS THAT WE RECEIVE IT. I mean.....I am laying here, SO HUMBLED. So.....in awe of who our God is....so overwhelmed by His love and kindness & SO THANKFUL that I KNOW it is true.
No matter what man tells you, REMEMBER that all that is asked of you is that YOU RECEIVE JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR LORD & SAVIOR. If you don't know what that means, God WANTS to show you, teach you, tell you, guide you to not just hearing the words, but GIFTING you the WISDOM to KNOW Him & the meaning of His words.
I had two other spiritual moments this week that tie into this same line of thought. One was explaining the difference between Christians and Jews to my son, after he saw a commercial about stopping Jewish hate. I went to sources on the Internet, more well-versed than myself, and read it to him, paused for his response and being SO GRATEFUL for how God has conditioned his heart to understand that we view some things differently in our faith, but that the difference in thought does NOT merit hate.
I also have a professional friend that I was messaging back and forth with on a work project. He let me know that he would be unavailable for much of the next two days celebrating Eid al-Fitr. I have an incredible amount of respect for him as a human. He is so professional, talented, and easy to work with. Because of this respect, I wanted to know more about his faith, so I researched it and was able to share how the viewpoints may differ between Muslims and Christians, with my oldest son. What was amazing is that he noticed all the SIMILARITIES of our beliefs.
I sit and think about how much energy is wasted on hate. How many relationships NEVER have a chance because of hate. Then I also think about the message I heard today and how my youngest son received it and how I received it. God uses EVERYTHING. His love for ALL HUMANS is SO ABUNDANT. A message that convicts me, positively encourages my youngest son. We are doing life with people that share some of our beliefs and we have the opportunity to understand and RESPECT the differences. I will visit this church again because....even though I do not agree that striving for excellence is God's call, the intentions of that message was to ENCOURAGE and not discourage. He wants us to HONOR the EXCELLENCE God has given us & see it as such. I do agree with that.
It may seem like I'm wandering from the topic, but I'm not. The message in church today seemed directed to an entitled audience that has had to experience the very basic of struggles: dirty house, dirty car, excelling in their careers, focusing on their studies, etc.
What about those battling depression? They may have a messy house, but they got up, went to work, and was a light for someone & provided for their family. Their life may look like a wreck, but GOD SEES THEM SHOWING UP.
What about the boy that feels lost & unwanted, never wanted, yet decides to NOT END HIS LIFE, because he remembers hearing/reading/being told that God created him for a purpose, crying out to Him and putting the gun down. GOD SEES YOU AND THE ANGELS REJOICED IN HEAVEN WHEN YOU PUT IT DOWN. He just wants you to show up for Him.
What about the young couple, abandoned by their families, fleeing religious persecution, CLINGING to the LOVE & HOPE that God has promised? GOD SEES YOU & WILL BLESS YOU FOR YOUR OBEDIENCE.
What about the man that lost his ENTIRE FAMILY in a car accident and the ONLY CONVERSATION he still has with God is how mad he is at Him? GOD SEES YOU & is GRATEFUL you are still communicating with Him.
What about the ER Nurse that witnesses things like: a pre-teen pregnant child being dumped at the ER to deliver a baby in a case of incest....alone...unaware....and broken, a non-English speaking couple accidentally overdosing their baby resulting in DEATH when they thought they were helping, a family of 4 burn victims from a house fire on Christmas Day with one lone survivor with 4th degree burns. GOD SEES YOU & He's SO THANKFUL that you are SHOWING UP for others. He doesn't care if your house is a mess, if you spoil your kids and others don't approve, or if you are less than chipper when you come into work.
The enemy comes at us and he comes at us HARD. GOD KNOWS! He doesn't discount the struggle. I think He thought about this struggle and so did Jesus, when He decided to be obedient to God & accept the cross to SAVE US....to RELEASE US from the burden of striving. Striving is NOT our yoke.
SHOW UP & Buck Up Baby & Ride with Jesus! You don't have to have your make-up on. You don't have to have all A's, a full tank of gas, or a regularly detailed car. You don't even have to believe all the things others say about Him. You just have to SHOW UP & ride with Him. Give Him some time. I can testify that Jesus brought me closer to God & HELPED ME to get to know The Holy Spirit.
